She blinks up at me, tears shining in those dark saucers. “You know that’s not what I mean,” she sniffs. “Stay the night with me. With us. I need both of you tonight.”
I look over to Leo who just nods in agreement. Fuck them both and their optimism. This isn’t how real life works. The accident shook us all, but in a few months, a year, she’ll want commitment. Marriage, babies. And that will never work with three of us.
I feel like a Grade-A asshole for what I’m about to do, but I can’t help myself. I need to let her go. Those big eyes of hers pull at my heart, and I can’t say no.
“Alright, Bambi. Lead the way.”
In the bedroom, she helps me out of my clothes. I stretch out on the bed and watch as Leo helps her out of her ruined dress. She crawls into bed and kisses every bruise on the way up. “Tonight was scary in more than one way,” she says, reaching my lips. “I felt so out of control before and after the accident. I need to find my center again.”
Leo comes up behind her and plants a kiss on her shoulder. “Tell us what you need, sweetheart.”
Rose lays her head down on the right side of my chest and sighs. “I feel like the closer we get; the farther apart we drift. If that makes any sense at all.” She hides her face and takes a deep breath. “I need you both. I want to feel you both in me at the same time.”
I look up at Leo, and his shock mirrors my own. We’ve talked about it before, but it wasn’t something we were going to press. “Are you sure,” I ask.
“I need that connection.” She looks up and meets my gaze. “I think we all do.”
I know what she’s asking, but I can’t say the words. The silence stretches on until Leo finally says, “If this is what you need, crawl up on Asher’s lap. We’ll take care of you.”
She gets up on her knees and straddles my hips, planting both palms flat on the mattress. “Is this okay? I’m not hurting your ribs am I?”
“Don’t worry about me, Bambi,” I say and kiss her. Leo’s already retrieved the lube and crawls up behind her. “While he’s getting ready, why don’t you ride my cock? It will be easier if you’re already turned on.”
Rose glances over her shoulder and bites her lower lip. “I don’t think I have to worry about that,” she says a little breathlessly. She lifts her hips and guides the head of my cock into her tight channel. She eases down slowly while staring into my eyes. I slide in easily, her pussy impossibly wet and hot. Thank God we ditched the condoms because the feel of flesh on flesh is like nothing else.
“Lean over,” Leo urges. “Balance on your knees, so you don’t crush him. That’s good.” Leo hums softly and strokes his cock a few times with the lube. “Fuck, I’ve wanted your ass for a long time.”
“Go slow,” I warn.
“I’m good,” Rose says and crushes her lips to mine as Leo presses the head of his cock into her ass. “Oh, God,” she whimpers and squeezes her eyes shut as her muscles clamp down on my cock.
“Easy now. Relax those muscles,” I whisper against her cheek. “We’ll go slow and let your body adjust. You set the pace.”
I can feel her muscles start to relax as she gets used to the feel of two cocks inside her.
“You okay, sweetheart?” Leo asks, trailing his hand down her back. “When you’re ready, just lean forward and push back against me.”
“You still with us?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’m good.” She breaths in and out, her eyes still closed. I’m about ready to tell Leo to back off when she finally starts to move—slowly at first.
I lean up, fighting the burning ache of my ribs and capture one of her nipples in my mouth as she moves. Sweat beads on her forehead, but her body opens, accepting the pleasure/pain of both of us.
“How does that feel?” I ask. “Are you ready for more?”
She sucks in a deep breath and nods. “Yes.”
“Rock forward and use my cock to fuck yourself,” I say against the hollow of her throat.
She opens her eyes and moves forward, sliding off my cock and then plunges down again. Leo picks up the pace, matching her thrusts. I go back to sucking her nipples and let her do all the work. Plunge. Slide. A back and forth. Until her strokes became steady. Faster. More rhythmic.
“I’m close,” Leo says, sweat dripping from his forehead.
“I’m almost there,” she pants, face set with concentration. “I just need… something.”
“Let me help,” I say. Wincing, I angle my hips and use my good hand to press against her clit. “Grind down on my hand. Harder.”
She lifts up one more time and slides back down my length, hard and fast. Her muscles clamp down on my cock like a vice, pulsing around me. Leo shouts out his release, just as she cries out. Her head falls forward, her hair pooling around my chest as she rocks back one more time.
“Fuck,” I roar and spill into her as the most overpowering, mind-blowing orgasm of my life rips through me.
Leo pulls out first, and trails kisses down the slope of her spine until she shivers. “You’re amazing,” he whispers.
Slowly, Rose eases off of me. I try to hide my wince, realizing far too late that I overextended myself. But every last ache and pain is worth it.
“That was amazing. Thank you,” she says and curls up at my side. “Will you stay?”
I kiss the top of her head, taking in her soft floral scent. It’s selfish and cruel of me, knowing I’m going to break her heart, but I nod. “I’ll stay.”
With a contented sigh, she closes her eyes as Leo crawls in beside her. They both fall asleep, but my mind is too busy. Rose deserves a normal life. I’m glad I was able to give her tonight, but they’ll both be better off without me.
After I’m sure she’s deep into sleep, I slip out of bed.
“Asher?” Leo says, groggily. “Where you going?”
I glance over to my longtime friend. My partner. And realize everything in my life is about to change. Deep down, I knew it would someday, but it’s still hard.
“Take care of her, Leo.” I turn and walk away.
I collapse onto my bed. My body is physically spent, but my mind is a discordant symphony of conflicting emotions. I know I’m doing the right thing. If my viper pit of a family has taught me one thing, it’s love doesn't fix shit.
When things get hard, and with our complex relationships it’s bound to get hard, people will pick the path of least resistance. Rose deserves so much more that society gossip and public scrutiny. If our relationship goes on any longer, it’s only going to get worse. I don’t want that for her.
43
Leo
I lay in bed, holding Rose. Tonight took its toll on all of us, and I should let Asher work his stuff out, but I can’t leave it alone. I crawl out of bed and knock on his door.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I say by way of greeting.
“Nothing,” he says, gruffly, and pulls on a T-shirt.
“Bullshit.” I’ve known him long enough. This isn’t his usual broodiness. There’s something else going on here. “She practically begged you to stay. How could you leave after what happened tonight?”
“It was sex,” he says. “Really good sex, but at the end of the day, that’s all it is.”
“She loves you,” I challenge.
“No, she’s in love with you. I’m just along for the ride,” he says and rakes a hand through his hair. “And think it’s time I get off.”
“I swear to God, Asher, if you hadn’t just been in an accident, I would kick the shit out of you,” I say and flop into the chair by his bed. “This is working—the three of us. Don’t screw it up.”
“You’re kidding yourself. I’ve told you a million times, we can’t keep the same woman. This thing we have can only last so long before it cracks under the pressure.” He turns and glares at me. He’s trying to hide it, but I can see the pain in his eyes. “She loves you, and that’s a good thing. Rose is good for you. You need to hold on to that. What you don’t need is me screwing things up.”
“So what is it exactly you’re proposing?” he asks, getting to his feet. “Have you really thought about it? Do you think that all three of us can just get married? Won’t that be a fine headlining in the papers? And what about a family? You think the press likes to speculate about us now? Wait until they start holding Facebook polls to place bets on which of us is the father. How do you think Rose will handle that?”
“She’s stronger than you think,” I argue.
“But here’s the thing,” he says, quietly. “She shouldn’t have to be.”
His words hang heavy in the air between us. I know he’s right. No matter how much we try to shield her from the fallout, Rose will be hurt by the gossip and press.
“I still think you’re making a mistake,” I say. “It should be up to her.”
I know there’s not much more to be said. I stand and shake my head, hoping that Asher comes to his senses. “Just sleep on it, brother.”
The night has been exhausting. I crawl back into bed with Rose, and she burrows against my chest. Her warmth soothes my frayed nerves. But the worry about what Asher is going to do scratches at the edge of my thoughts and I never quite relax enough to sleep.
The next morning, Asher doesn’t come out of his room, claiming he’s too sore and needs the rest. The air in the apartment is heavy with all of the unsaid words and hurt emotions. I don’t know what changed after the accident, but I’m trying to figure a way to get back to where we were.
To her credit, Rose puts on a brave face and tries to go about her day as if everything is fine. But after lunch, she gives up and crawls back into bed. I want to go back and pound some sense into Asher, but right now I need to make sure Rose is okay.
“Do you want to go out for dinner?” I ask Rose, thinking maybe a change of scenery is in order.
“Do you think Asher will come?”
“I checked in on him a few hours ago. He took some painkillers and is back in bed.”
She bites her lip and turns back to her book. “I don’t feel like leaving. Can we order pizza and watch a movie in bed?”
There’s an edge of sadness to her voice, and it breaks my heart. I go over and gather her in my arms, kissing the top of her head.
“Whatever you want to do, sweetheart.” She sniffs, and I feel her hot tears soak my shirt. “It will be okay. We’ll fix this.”
She pulls back and looks up at me with red-rimmed eyes. “What happened?”
“I don’t know,” I say, feeling just as lost. “Did something happen back at the ball before the accident? Asher just said you were feeling sick and he was taking you home.”
“We had a moment.” Rose squeezes her eyes shut and buries her head in my chest. “And I told him I loved him.”
“Oh.” I figured it had to be something like that for him to pull the emergency brakes on our budding relationship.
“Oh?” Rose pulls back and narrows her eyes. “Oh? Did you know this was going to happen?”
“Asher’s emotionally constipated,” I say by way of explanation. I mean, fuck, how can I explain Asher’s fucked up world view?
“Dammit, Leo, what does that even mean? Give me a straight answer.” Rose is angry which is a million times better than the shell of a person she’s been the last twenty-four hours.
“His parents are a piece of work,” I say with a sigh. “He’s got some screwed up notions about love and family.”
She pushes away, frowning. “That’s just an excuse. We all have fucked up families. My mother couldn’t be bothered to raise me. She dragged me along on her tours, passing me from one unqualified nanny to the next. If I can still imagine us being together why can’t he?”
I would have never dreamt of breaking Asher’s confidence, but I feel like Rose has a right to know why he’s rejecting her.
“I don’t even know where to start. He doesn’t believe in love. At least not the way you or I might. His mother had one affair after another.”
“But this isn’t cheating,” Rose says, interrupting me. “I’d never cheat on either of you.”
“It wasn’t just that his mother cheated. There were a lot of other issues. The esteemed Mayor Knight used to beat the crap out of Asher on a regular basis.” I gather her up in my arms and kiss her temple. “His mother did nothing to stop it. Asher felt betrayed by the two people who were supposed to love him unconditionally. He doesn’t get close to people.”
“He’s close to you,” she says and leans her head against my shoulder.
“We share a long history. My house was only marginally better,” I say. “We helped each other escape, and we’ve relied on each other ever since.”
“Are you trying to tell me that he’ll never love me back?” Rose asks.
I can see the pain in her eyes, but I can’t lie to her. “I don’t know, sweetheart. But if anyone can make him love, you’d be the woman to do it.”
I roll her over on the bed and kiss her slow and deep, savoring the feel of her beneath me. She melts against me and wraps an arm around my neck. I have no idea how long we lay there, kissing with long lazy strokes of our tongues before she finally pulls away.
“Is this over between us? Is this goodbye?” I can hear the desperation in her voice.
“No, damn it.” I kiss her again with more force, raw and unapologetic in its intensity. “We’ll fix this, I promise.”
The next morning, Asher is at the office before we even wake. Knowing the situation between us is still unresolved, I suggest she stay home and recover from the accident.
“You’re kidding, right? We’re all adults, and we promised that no matter what happens at the penthouse, it won’t interfere with work. You both have kept that promise and so will I.” She strolls into the elevator ahead of me and pushes the button for the ground floor with a little too much force. “Besides, I’m not going to hide in my room like I’ve done something wrong. If Asher has a problem with me, he needs to tell me to my face.”
I have to bite back the smile when she turns and glares at me as if daring me to contradict her. She has that fire back in her eyes, and I take a deep breath for the first time in days. We’ll get past this little bump. I’m sure of it.
I thumb through my email on my phone as we ride down to the office. With everything that’s happened over the last two days, it feels like I’ve been away from the office for a month, not just a weekend. A calendar reminder pops up, and I groan inwardly. The closing for one of our smaller acquisitions is just a week away. I’m going to have to leave town to handle all the last minute legal matters. The timing couldn’t be worse.
“I have to go to Austin soon,” I say. “It’s just an overnight trip. Are you okay with that? I know things are a bit awkward with Asher right now.”
“I don’t need you to babysit me,” she says, giving me a side-eye. “I can deal with Asher.”
“God, I love you.” I lean over and kiss her quickly as we pull up to the office. The fact that she’s wants to handle Asher’s shit and stand up for herself helps me relax. We’ll fix this. Relieved, I get out of the car and lean down to help her.
She humphs and swats my hand away, getting out on her own.
I bark out a laugh. “You’re so fucking cute when you’re mad.” If nothing else, she and Asher are in for one hell of a fight. I, for one, can’t wait for the make-up sex.
44
Rose
I go into the office I’ve been sharing with Asher with every intention of ignoring him. If he wants to be an asshole, so be it. Two can play childish games. Unfortunately, it’s more torture for me than it seems to be for him. As a matter of fact, the jerk seems relieved that I’m not talking to him.
He and Leo have a lunch meeting, and I stay behind to finish up my latest reports. I order in sushi from the place around the corner and eat by myself for what seems like forever. One of the guys has been by my side almost twenty-four hour
s a day for the last few months. And for the first time in my life, I’m uneasy being alone.
I flop down on the sofa in the corner of the office and pick at my sad, single serving Bento box. It reminds me of that day, not so long ago when Asher sat here discussing my taste in ménage fiction. He’d been open and teasing, and I ache to have that easiness back.
Tears burn the back of my throat, and I toss my mostly uneaten lunch in the trash, my stomach sour. I’m glad Leo is leaving town. It will give me time to think and regroup. Because he’s right about one thing, we need to fix this. I’m not sure how, but something needs to give.
My cell rings, bringing me out of my morose thoughts. Unfortunately, it’s the last person I want to talk to.
“Hi, mom.”
“Oh, good. I got you. You’re so hard to reach these days.” She’s practically yelling to be heard over the noise in the back. Music, loud voices. It was the soundtrack of my life.
“Well, you have me now. What do you need?”
“Can’t your mother just call and check in on you?” she asks, sounding annoyed.
“I don’t remember the last time you called to just chat. I’m busy, Mom. If this is a social call—”
“Are you coming home for the holidays?” Her words shock me. It’s like she’s suddenly started speaking in tongues. Words like home and holidays were never part of our vernacular. “Well, are you?”
“We haven’t celebrated Christmas since I was five and I didn’t even know Thanksgiving was a holiday until I was in my teens. So exactly what holiday am I supposed to be joining you for?”
“The band and I are having a little Thanksgiving get together while we’re here in Denver. Everyone is inviting their family. I thought you’d like to join us. The band really miss you.”
The very idea seems comical, but then again, what am I going to do over Thanksgiving? It’s not like things are going well with the guys. I’m sure they have plans of their own. The overall flux of our situation leaves me unsettled.
Brothers Next Door: A MFM Menage Romance Page 22