by Blue, Kaye
It was nothing special on the outside, but knowing it belonged to her made it seem like everything.
I looked at the new window and door, pleased with how they both looked, and then went inside.
“Sasha!” she said as I walked through the door.
She smiled, but something about her greeting was off.
It was clear she was surprised I was here, which made sense. She hadn’t been expecting me after all.
I went to her, the need to touch her ever present like always.
I kissed her hard, quick, but broke the embrace, not wanting to start something I wouldn’t have the chance to finish.
“I realized I had never been here before.”
“Well, here it is.” She waved around the space. “Not too much to look at.”
She chuckled, the sound just this side of nervous, immediately putting me on edge.
“It belongs to you. That means it’s interesting.”
“Thanks. So, what do you have planned for the day?”
“I was hoping I could spend some time with you,” I said.
“That’s nice. I’ll close the store in a little bit and then meet you. How does that sound?” she said.
“That might work,” I responded, looking around the store.
Something was off, way off, and I wanted to know what it was.
I suspected she wouldn’t tell me, not without some serious prodding.
“You seem uneasy, Erin? Is everything okay?”
“I-I’m fine,” she said, smiling, the brightness of the expression only making me disbelieve it even more.
“You don’t seem fine.”
“What do you mean?”
I was paying attention to her, but I was also looking around, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.
I didn’t know anything about fabric, but I saw bundles of fabric of different colors, patterns, and textures hanging or folded everywhere.
It looked normal, or at least what I thought to be normal for a fabric store, but I wouldn’t ignore that voice that told me something was wrong.
“Erin, what’s wrong?” I asked, deciding to be direct.
“Nothing’s wrong, Sasha,” she said, the biggest lie she’d ever spoken to me.
I looked around again, caught something out of the corner of my eye, and moved toward it, Erin not even a step behind.
I turned to look at her.
“Erin, just tell me. I’m going to find out what’s going on either way, so just tell me.”
“Nothing’s going on, Sasha,” she said, her brows furrowed, her attempt at innocence only making her look that much more guilty.
“Erin…” I said, the warning clear in my voice.
“Everything’s fine, Sasha,” she said, the hint of desperation in her voice only confirming that everything was far from fine.
“What’s over there?” I asked, gesturing toward the wall at the far side of the room, one that appeared to have stacks and stacks of fabric loaded onto shelves.
“Some fabric,” she said like the answer was obvious.
“Just fabric?” I asked, walking toward the wall.
“Yes, Sasha, just fabric,” she said, sounding impatient, yet again only increasing my interest.
I stared at the wall, and she came stand beside me, her nervousness practically making her radiate.
“Erin, I think you know me well enough to know I’m not a stupid man. You think I don’t know a false wall I see one?”
“Sasha,” she said, her voice pleading, worried in a way it hadn’t been since that first day.
“Open it,” I said.
She looked at me and didn’t speak but shook her head, her eyes pleading harder now.
“Now.”
She was worried, didn’t want to open that door, but the more she hesitated, the more I determined I got.
I didn’t repeat myself, but I stared at her, leaving her no doubt that I wouldn’t go until the door was opened.
She sighed deeply, the sound stabbing at my chest, but even the twinge at seeing her in pain wasn’t enough to deter me.
After another long second, she went to the wall of fabric, push in three rolls, and I heard a click.
The door swung open, and I looked inside.
I’d told myself that what was inside didn’t matter.
That I was ready for anything.
I wasn’t ready for this.
Twelve
Erin
I froze, my mind racing, but no thought was fully formed.
I hadn’t considered this might happen and didn’t have a plan for it.
Stupid as I was, I’d been happy to see him when he first got to the shop. But nerves had quickly set in.
Because he was right.
I knew he was a smart man, knew that the longer he was here, the more likely it was he would see what I could never allow him to.
And now he had, and I didn’t know what to do.
“Erin?”
He said my name, his voice unchanging, but I was completely incapable of denying what he was asking.
“I can explain,” I said, near pleading already.
“Why don’t you let her?”
He had been looking at me but then turned and looked inside the room.
I’d tried to make it as comfortable as possible, make it more than a hiding place built into a false wall in my shop.
But even with my attempts to make the space as homey as it could be, it was only meant to be used for a day or so, a week at most.
Natalia had been here for almost two.
But she was tough and had made the best of it, decorating the walls with her daughter Alla’s drawings.
Sasha said something in Russian, and though I didn’t understand the specific words, I knew he was asking what she was doing here.
I could see that she was terrified, so I shifted, placing myself between Sasha and Natalia, happy that Alla remained asleep.
“Like I said, I can explain.”
“Do you know who she is?” he asked, turning his attention back to me.
“Someone who needed my help.”
I stood taller then, nervous, but also unwilling to apologize.
Natalia and her daughter were here because they had nowhere else to go, and I wouldn’t be sorry for helping them.
“I’m sorry, Erin. I didn’t mean to bring trouble,” Natalia said.
I looked at her, trying to reassure her. “You’re safe here. No matter what.”
Sasha scoffed, and I looked at him, his anger unmissable.
“How long has she been here?”
“Not quite two weeks.”
He glared at me and then looked at Natalia, his expression softening ever so slightly.
“You got fed up with Denis?”
“I’ve been fed up with him for years. But I finally accepted that he was going to kill me one day. Or her,” Natalia said.
If Sasha had a reaction to her words, he didn’t show it, but I did.
I had never asked for details but knew Natalia’s situation had been dire. It was one of the reasons she told me that sleeping in this windowless room was the best rest she’d had in the ten years she’d been married.
“Do you need any supplies?” I asked, determined to end this now, at least as far as Natalia was concerned.
She shook her head. “No. We have all we need.”
She went quiet then, looked from me to Sasha then back again.
Her face was wary, and I could see she was concerned.
“You don’t have anything to worry about from me, Natalia.”
At Sasha’s words, she relaxed ever so slightly and then went to sit in the folding chairs set up next to the cot where Alla lay.
“I’ll be back later,” I said.
She nodded, then picked up a book. “We have plenty to entertain us.”
I nodded, fought back the tears that welled in my eyes, and then looked at Sasha.
He left the room, and I follo
wed and then closed and secured the door behind me.
Then, after a breath, I faced him.
“Sasha—”
He glared at me, the look in his eye enough to cut off my words.
He picked up his phone, dialed, and said, “Meet me at this address in ten minutes.”
He hung up, then stared at me.
“A car is on the way. It’s going to take you back to my house. Don’t go anywhere, don’t talk to anyone, until you see me.”
“Sasha—”
“Not now, Erin,” he said.
His voice was even, but I could feel the tension, knew that something was boiling beneath the surface.
So I complied, and when the SUV arrived—eight minutes later by my calculation—I got in and rode to his place.
At the back of my mind, it occurred to me that I had never been there before. The excitement of being in his space was dampened by the circumstances, but it was still there.
The driver, who hadn’t uttered a single word, led me to an elevator and gestured for me to get out when we reached the top floor.
I walked in, and even in this state, I was taken aback by the view.
It was gorgeous, beautiful, and I could easily imagine Sasha and I making love in front of those windows, waking up to a sunrise after.
I wondered if that would ever have a chance to happen now.
At that thought, my stomach twisted, and I sat on the sleek, tan-colored leather sofa.
It probably cost more than everything I owned, but that luxury was lost on me in this moment.
Instead, I tried to puzzle out what had just happened and how it would change things between us.
Because no matter how this had started, no matter who he was, no matter how impossible it should have been, there was an us.
I cared for him, more deeply than I ever would have thought possible, and the thought of him not being in my life was one I didn’t want to contemplate.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, E,” I whispered, trying to give myself a pep talk.
To my surprise, it worked.
This wasn’t good, but I wouldn’t freak out, wouldn’t lose hope.
This would work out.
I sank against the couch.
It had to.
* * *
Sasha
“What’s the emergency?” Ghost asked when he walked in.
“Where the fuck do I even start?” I said as I paced the office.
“This is about the woman.”
It wasn’t a question.
I glared at him, anger a much more palatable emotion than the shit Erin had me feeling. “You knew something before and didn’t speak?”
Ghost hadn’t missed my accusation or the invitation to fight.
He sidestepped both.
“No, I was simply asking a question I would ask of anyone. But you called me back here, so something must have happened.”
“Denis Fedorov is married and has a kid, right?”
“Yes. Though neither have been seen for over a month,” Ghost said.
“You know what’s going on with that?” I asked, not to deceive him, but only to figure out who else might know about what Erin was doing.
To figure out how much danger she was in.
“No, but I can find out. From what I understand, he didn’t treat her very well. She might be dead,” he said, not nonchalant but rather accepting of awful things in the way we all had become.
“She’s not dead,” I said.
That got his attention and he stared me.
“Is there something I need to know about, Sasha?”
“Yeah, but give Riker and Etienne a call. We all need to talk.”
His expression didn’t change, but I knew Ghost didn’t miss the significance of that.
There was no way he could.
This was a problem, the scope of which I had yet to determine.
Before I could figure out how to fix this, I needed to understand it.
Which meant talking to Erin.
I’d craved her from the first moment I’d laid eyes on her, and for the first time since then, I didn’t want to see her, didn’t want to talk to her.
But I had no choice.
Even if what she’d done, what she would tell me, might cost her life.
Thirteen
Sasha
When I got back to my place, Erin was waiting, and when I looked at her, I felt a connection, one that was so much deeper than I wanted to admit. The need to touch her was overwhelming.
That would have to wait.
First, I had questions.
“Is everything going to be okay?” she asked.
She was edgy, tense, which made me happy.
She should be, because it was the only way she could understand the enormity of what she had done.
“My questions first,” I said.
I took off my suit jacket, for a moment admiring the way she looked at my body, her desire clear.
But now wasn’t the time for that.
“What the hell are you doing, Erin?”
She looked away, embarrassed, frightened.
When she looked at me again, I saw steel in her eyes.
“I’m doing what I have to because no one else will.”
“That’s a nice little story, but save it. I want to know, specifically, what the hell you’re doing. And why.”
Her reasons didn’t matter for the business, but they were the most important thing to me.
Another sign of how much this woman had changed me.
I shouldn’t care about her reasons, shouldn’t even be having this conversation. She’d crossed a line, her actions enough to push my organization into a war.
Explanations shouldn’t matter.
But in this moment, I needed one more than anything.
“For little over six years, I’ve been helping some women out.” She pushed the words out, her voice gravelly, but defiant.
“What does that mean?”
“You know people sometimes don’t have a way to get out of a bad situation. I help people like that when I can.”
“So these women who can’t get away come to you?”
“Yes. Sometimes.”
“And you don’t consider the danger? How stupid it might be to get between a member of bratva and his family?”
“I didn’t know who Natalia was when I took her in.”
“And it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, right?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t turn anyone away. Cops’ wives, politicians’ wives, people partnered with some of the most powerful men in the world.”
“You’d never turn anyone away?”
“No. Because by the time they get to me, I’m their last resort.”
She spoke with conviction that told me she had no clue how dangerous this was, or worse, didn’t care.
I swallowed back bile at the thought of Erin putting herself in jeopardy, willfully running into a fire when everyone else would run in the other direction.
She seemed to sense what I was thinking.
“Sasha, I’m not stupid. It’s dangerous, but the women who come to me need me. They don’t have any other choice. You think they want to uproot their lives? Leave everyone and everything they’ve ever known? Live with the fear that maybe one day, they might be found?”
She stared at me, then looked away, taking a deep breath.
It was clear how much this meant to her, so I didn’t push but instead listened.
“I do it because I have no other choice. And the thought of sending someone back to a life of abuse, to death, is one I can’t stand.”
“You’re adamant about this. Why?” I asked.
I knew there was a story, had sensed there was something, but I hadn’t wanted to push.
But I would push now if I needed to.
“Let’s just say I know what happens when no one will help a woman who can’t get away from her abuser.”
Her tone wa
s oddly flat, her affect too, but I could see the emotion in her eyes.
“Someone did this to you?” I asked, vowing to find whoever had hurt her and ensure he spent the last moments of his life in unimaginable pain.
She shook her head.
“No.”
She sighed, paced a couple of steps, and then sat down.
I did nothing, just watched her, but got the sense that she wasn’t fully with me.
She was back in the past, in the place that had helped make her who she was today.
“What do you know about my background?”
“What makes you think I know anything?”
“Come on, Sasha,” she said, smiling faintly before her expression dropped. “Of course you did a check.”
“A rudimentary one. You aged out of foster care, went to design school, then moved to freelance dressmaking. Opened the fabric store.”
Only dry, basic facts that did nothing to explain she who was.
“Yes. I went into foster care at sixteen. After my sister died.”
Again, her tone was flat, but the anguish in her eyes…
I wanted to comfort her but stayed where I was.
“My parents passed away when I was in elementary school. My older sister took me in. She was my mother and sister. My best friend.”
She was clearly lost in the past. I wanted to soothe her but again resisted the impulse.
“It was just us for a couple of years, but then she met someone. He seemed like a great guy. At the beginning. But he always made me uneasy.”
I stayed quiet, though I felt like a caged animal, but I held on to my patience and just listened.
“At first, I didn’t even notice anything was happening. He was very affectionate, almost playful, always giving her the giant bear hugs, laughing all the time. He kept up with the hugs, but eventually he wasn’t laughing. Then he started pinching her sometimes. Then one day, he slapped her.”
I clenched my teeth but didn’t speak.
“And that day changed everything. It was like a mask had come off, and the monster who had been lurking behind it had free rein. She was with him for six years. And then she wasn’t,” she said.
“What happened?”