Man of Honor (Battle Scars)

by Diana Gardin

  “Of course not. I would never do that, Mea.”

  A small bit of relief finds its way into my heart. “So then what did he do? That had to make him angry, right?”

  “Well…” She hesitates. I look at her closely, because there’s always a tell when she’s trying to hide something. When her eyes shift off to the left, I sit up straighter. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “When he called, Mikah was at the house. He was helping your uncle paint the porch. They heard my shouts when your father got me all riled up, and they came rushing in.”

  Dread settles heavily in my stomach. After I talked to Aunt Tay, I was planning on ordering her not to say anything about this to Mikah. He’s so protective of me, especially after what happened all those years ago. I never wanted him to find out that our father had called Aunt Tay.

  “Once he discovered who I was speaking with, he grabbed the phone before I could hang up. I think your father baited him easily. Mikah yelled, and he listened. And then his face went pale and he hung up the phone.”

  This isn’t good. This is so bad. This is beyond bad.

  “What’d he say to Mikah, Aunt Tay?” I whisper, horror filling me. I don’t want Mikah anywhere near Carlos. Never again. He might be out of prison, but I just want the two of us to keep living our lives independently of that man. No matter what he tries to pull, we’re adults now. We don’t have to be reeled in by him. Not anymore.

  Aunt Tay shrugs helplessly. “He wouldn’t say. He just said good-bye to your uncle and me, apologizing for not finishing up the paint job. And he left.”

  Sliding my mug away from me, I bolt to my feet. Aunt Tay stands, too.

  “Where are you going?” Her tone is alarmed. “Mea?”

  “Thanks for telling me this, Aunt Tay. I need to go find Mikah before he does something stupid.” I reach across the table, hug her quickly. Then I rush out of the coffee shop.

  Sitting in my car, I push Mikah’s name in my contacts. The phone rings, and then it goes to voice mail.

  “Dammit!” I swipe my finger across the screen until I get to Drake’s name. Lifting the phone to my ear, I wait to hear his luscious caramel voice, my balm, come over the line.

  Drake’s voice mail answers.

  Close to tears, my fingers fly across the keys as I text him.

  Please call me.

  Placing the phone in the cup holder, I buckle my seat belt and head back to Drake’s house. When I pull in, I notice with relief that Greta’s still there.

  Stubborn girl isn’t going to leave me alone until Drake knows about this baby. I smile, because I’m relieved that Greta’s here. I want to tell someone about what’s going on, and I don’t want to fly off the handle and make a bad decision. Especially not now.

  But Mikah’s my baby brother. And if he’s in trouble, I will always go to him.

  I fly through the front door. Greta is sitting at the bar in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee. When she sees the look on my face, she hops down from the stool and approaches me.

  “What’s wrong?” Her tone is full of fear. “Are you okay?”

  I gesture toward the couch. “Please sit down. What I’m about to tell you requires you to be sitting. And maybe drinking something stronger than coffee.”

  Her eyes wide, she glances at her mug, and then at me. “I’ll take my chances. You’re okay, though?”

  “I’m okay right now.” I reassure her. “But a long time ago? I wasn’t.”

  Greta sits on the couch, her feet tucked under her, both hands covering her mouth. All I can see is horror, shock, and revulsion in her wide blue eyes. That’s why I don’t tell this story. That’s why, for all these years, I’ve kept it locked up tight inside me. It took a lot out of me, you know? Keeping something like that bottled up? It changes you. It makes you dark, cursed.

  When I finish, I look her straight in the eye. I don’t look down at my hands in shame. I don’t hide from my past. I don’t cower or hide.

  Because what he did to me isn’t my fault. And the people who truly love me will still love me when they know about my past. They won’t hold it against me. I won’t disgust them. They won’t try to pity me.

  Drake taught me that.

  “Is that…it?” she whispers. Her eyes are filled, like they have been for the past thirty minutes, with tears.

  “Isn’t that enough?”

  “Of course…I mean…oh, God. I…don’t even know what to say. To think of all the times I had the nerve to complain about my father. Mea, you must have hated me!” Her shame is cutting her deep. Her chest is caving in from the pain of it, and I go to her now. Because I’m ready to hug her.

  I sling my arm around her shoulder, and she immediately curls into me. “Of course I didn’t. Because that was your struggle. Just because it was different from mine didn’t make it any less real. And you had no idea. I couldn’t talk about it then. Drake made me stronger. He made me feel safe enough to share. And now I need your help, because I’m afraid Mikah will go after him.”

  Greta sits up straighter. “Would he?”

  I stand, frustration eating me up from within. I take a page out of Drake’s book and pace the room. Wearing a line into the carpet. Tugging at my hair. “I think he would. He told me he’d never let him hurt me again. I believe he meant it. And Carlos is making himself a threat again. Mikah will never allow that to continue.”

  Greta’s eyes narrow. “What do you want to do? Have you called Drake?”

  “He didn’t answer. He’s got his own family stuff going on right now. He didn’t even say when he’d be back, or how long it would be until I heard from him. I can’t wait. I need to find Mikah.”

  Greta’s face is set, determination apparent in the steely blue of her eyes. “I’m not letting you go looking for him by yourself.”

  I offer her a small smile. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  “And I’m calling Grisham.” She pulls out her phone, her slender finger swiping across the screen while she studies her cell.

  Mine dings from somewhere inside my purse. I grab my purse from the coffee table, searching through it until I find the thing. Pulling it out, my heart leaps when I see Mikah’s name on my screen.

  I love you. I told you once I’d never let him hurt you again. I’m keeping that promise.

  “Greta!” I scream. My blood races toward my head, causing me to feel dizzy and disoriented. My hand shakes as I hand my phone out for her to take. She’s midconversation with Grisham, and she tells him to hold on as she reads Mikah’s text. When her face pales and her lips stretch out into a grim line, I know I’m right to jump to conclusions.

  Mikah has gone to confront Carlos. For me.

  27

  Drake

  Even though it’s dark when I leave Sandra’s house, I drive the hour straight to Athens. Checking into a hotel, I pull out my phone. I’m still not right in the head from the revelations I discovered about my mother. I never had a clue what she went through when she was young. Her life just went so horribly wrong. And all it would have taken was one different decision on her part, in any number of places, to force a change. I flipped through scenarios again and again in my mind as I drove.

  But I know that it doesn’t matter. Any way I figure it, she still comes out the loser in the end.

  Tomorrow, I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I’m going to find my father. I’m going to search for Richard Walsh until I find an address, and then I’m going to knock on his front door. I owe it to my mother to meet him. To tell him I exist.

  I’m sure my showing up is going to do all kinds of fucked-up things to his day. I imagine he has a family. A wife. Kids.

  Kids?

  That would mean I have siblings.

  Damn.

  This is a mind fuck I’m in no way prepared for.

  Once I check into a hotel and drag myself into my room, I flop onto the bed and pull my phone from my pocket. There’s a voice mail from Will, undoubtedly giving me a
rundown on the day at the garage. There’s also a text from Mea.

  Seeing her name on my screen does something drastic to my insides. It soothes me and ratchets me up at the same time. I close my eyes, picturing her lying here beside me. She’d offered to stay by my side. I should have let her.

  I didn’t want her to walk blindly into the fucked-up situation with my mother and who might or who might not be my father. I knew it would mess with my head, force me to face demons inside me that I didn’t want to face. I didn’t want to go through it with Mea at my side, because I’ve never wanted to be anything but strong for her.

  And right now? I feel anything but strong.

  As I’m thinking about her, the strong urge I harbor to visit the bar downstairs dwindles. All I want to do is hear her voice. See her face. Feel her fingers grazing against my skin.

  Fuck.

  I miss her.

  Holding my phone up in front of my face, I read her text.

  Please call me.

  Frowning, I sit up in bed. That doesn’t sound good. Checking my phone, I see that I have a missed call from her. Hours ago.

  “Shit.” I punch a finger on her name, waiting for her phone to ring.

  It goes straight to voice mail.

  A whirlwind of unrest is starting to stir in my stomach. Tumultuous. Chaotic. I gave my key to Grisham and Greta, so calling them means finding out what’ s going on with my girl.

  Regret floods me, making me wish I’d never left her. I should have brought her with me. I should always have her by my side.

  Especially with the bullshit going on with her father. She said he hadn’t contacted her. Has that changed?

  Now I’m up and off the bed. The chaos inside of me amplifies. I hit Grisham’s name on my Contacts.

  “Man,” he answers on the first ring. “I was just about to call you.”

  His tone is grim, dancing just on the verge of alarm. I know Grisham pretty well, and the dude is an ex-navy SEAL. He’s unflappable. Nothing scares him, unless it has to do with his fiancée.

  “What the hell is going on there? Where’s Mea?”

  “Where are you?” Grisham’s voice comes across as a growl, and I hear the distinct groan of an engine in the background.

  “I’m in Athens, Georgia. About five and a half hours away.” Panic rises in my throat, tasting like bile. Too far. Too far. “Where’s Mea?”

  “Get your ass in your car. Or to an airport. Whichever is the fastest way to get you to Kentucky.”

  I’m already off the bed and pulling my boots back on my feet. “What the fuck? What happened? Where’s my girl?”

  Grisham’s voice is clipped. “In the car somewhere ahead of me. I’m guessing they had about an hour head start on me.”

  “They?” The hotel room door slams behind me. My heartbeat is rioting in my chest, wreaking havoc against my rib cage. My duffel bag bounces against my thigh.

  “Greta wouldn’t let her go to Ashland alone. Apparently, Mea has a crazy-ass father who was just released from prison.”

  “Fuck! Yeah, I know that, Grisham.” I toss a few bills on the front desk as I breeze past it. The shocked faces of the employees don’t slow me down. I’m out the front door and eating up the concrete between the Challenger and me in less than a minute.

  “You knew that, and you left her alone?” Grisham’s tone is incredulous.

  “No,” I growl. “I didn’t leave her alone. I left her with you and Greta.”

  Silence on the other end of the line. Finally, I hear Grisham take a breath.

  I punch Ashland, Kentucky, into the Challenger’s GPS and rouse the engine to life. Later, I’ll change it to a more specific address. Right now, as it is, it has me crossing the state line in six and a half hours.

  Not fucking fast enough.

  “Tell me what’s happening, Grish. Why is she going there?” Without me?

  The answer to that is clear. She called me. She texted me. I wasn’t available.

  I wasn’t there for her when she needed me.

  “Greta is keeping communication open with me. They’re fine. They’re in the car, driving. Mea is worried that Mikah went after her father.”

  “What?” I picture my conversation with Mikah at dinner in my head. He loves his sister. That much was crystal clear. He also had a lot of guilt about not being able to protect her all those years ago. But why now?

  “Grisham, I need you to tell Greta to get me Mea on the phone. Need that to happen now. Or I’m gonna lose my goddamn mind.” I’m somewhere between a complete meltdown and a full-blown panic attack. I just need to hear her voice. I need to know that she’s okay. And I need to tell her to stop and wait for me.

  “Will do.” Grisham disconnects our call.

  I wait, and while I wait, I stare miserably out my windshield. There’s nothing but dark asphalt and black sky beyond me. Somewhere out there, the girl I love is driving into who knows what kind of situation with a psychopath. I don’t want her anywhere near him. I don’t want her anywhere in his vicinity.

  Slamming the steering wheel with my fist doesn’t make me feel any better. But I do it again, anyway.

  When my phone rings, I press ANSWER on the screen on my console.

  Mea’s beautiful voice fills the interior of my car. It pushes the air back into my lungs. “Drake?”

  She sounds scared. Really fucking scared.

  “Baby, yeah. It’s me. Are you okay?” I swallow hard, attempting to block my fear from reaching her.

  “Where are you?” Her voice trembles, letting me know that she’s on the verge of tears.

  But despite her fear, she’s still driving into a situation she knows could be dangerous. For her brother. She’s so goddamned brave. She’s a warrior. Always has been.

  Right now, I wish she weren’t.

  I try to keep my voice soothing. Even though on the inside I’m agitated. I’m restless, disturbed. Anxious. “On my way to you, sweetheart. You want to do me a solid and pull over somewhere safe for the night? That way Grisham and I can meet you?”

  I can picture her shaking her head, and I curse under my breath. “No, Drake. Mikah might be in trouble. I need to get to him.”

  I don’t want to rile her up while she’s driving. It’s late and she must be tired, but I don’t know what to do from so far away. I’m helpless, and it’s killing me.

  “Okay. But if you get tired, pull over. You and Greta can switch drivers if you need to. I’m on my way, and Grisham is right behind you. Listen to me, Mea. We talk every hour while you’re on the road. You hear me? Every. Hour.”

  She sniffs, but her voice sounds stronger, more determined. Her tornado, whirring around her. Gathering strength. “Okay.”

  “Promise.”

  “I promise, Drake.” A soft smile in her words. I can see it even when she’s not with me. Sweet. Fierce. Turbulent.

  “Love you, baby girl.”

  She gasps. “That’s…that’s the first time you’ve ever said that to me, Drake.”

  “Not the first time I’ve felt it. And it won’t be the last time I say it.” That’s a motherfucking promise.

  “God, Drake. I love you. I wish you were here right now.” Another voice tremor.

  A solid ball of emotion catches in my throat, choking me up and propelling me forward. Fear coils spindly fingers inside me. Reaching. Reaching. Reaching. My foot stomps down harder on the gas, and the speedometer jumps. “I’m right here, sweetheart. See you soon.”

  After the longest, most nerve-wracking road trip in my life, I pull into Louisville. The sun is just coming up over the hills, the sky a serene burst of pinks and oranges that should make me feel ready to face a new day. Only I don’t feel anything but tortured as I barrel through town, looking for the truck stop where the girls and Grisham have stopped to clean up and grab coffee.

  Mea’s little car in the parking lot is like a beacon for me, pulling me in. Grisham’s bright yellow Jeep is parked on the other side. Slamming my door shut, m
y boots hit the pavement. The bell above the door to the truck stop jangles loudly as I enter, a harsh and jarring sound too rowdy for the otherwise quiet morning.

  “Drake!”

  My girl is a sight for sore eyes. It’s only been a day since I’ve seen her, a day and half since I’ve held her in my arms, but damn. I welcome the turbulence of the swirling wind that always surrounds her as she runs and launches herself into my arms. Catching her easily, I cradle her to my chest, inhaling her scent on her neck, her hair, her cheek.

  “You scared me, baby girl. Never again. Got that?” I murmur into her skin while I smell her, just reassuring myself that she’s real and she’s here. And she’s mine. Darkness and light churn together around us, pressing us more tightly together. Her body pressed against mine? Nothing has ever felt so good.

  “You came.” Her words are more like a gasp, and they’re awed. Disbelieving. I pull back, staring into her eyes.

  “Sorry I made you doubt that I would. I left because of the fucked-up shit going on in my head. Not because of you. You’re perfect. Don’t doubt that.” I nuzzle my nose into hers.

  She sighs. “I’m worried about Mikah, Drake.”

  Putting her down, I reach around her to shake Grisham’s hand. Giving him a meaningful look, I hope all of my thanks are conveyed to him. He made sure she was safe when I couldn’t. I’ll always owe him for that. Shooting Greta a quick smile where she stands beside her fiancé, I turn back to Mea. My big hands cradle her face.

  “We’ll find him. Do you have any idea where the bastard is staying? Would Mikah know?”

  Tucking a wayward curl behind her ear, she clears the haze of exhaustion from her face. Now that I know she’s safe, I can really assess her. She has dark shadows under her eyes. The red blood vessels smattering the irises indicate extreme tiredness. She keeps rubbing at them, which spreads a trail of mascara haphazardly across her face. Her hand clutches her belly, like she’s having anxiety pains there. My heart squeezes looking at her, wishing I could scoop her up in my arms and force her to take a nap.