by Sam Burns
“Green eyes aren’t the only thing I inherited from my dad,” Liam said, again unable to look the other man in the eye. “I don’t now, but when I was younger, I drank. A lot.”
Keegan nodded at that. “It’s a stupid stereotype, the drunk Irish, but that doesn’t mean it’s always wrong.”
“Yeah. And my dad did it up good. Abusive husband and father, drunk jackass, and completely useless in every way.” He stared at his pasta, wondering why he was telling a near-stranger about something so important. And again, something from his own life and not his cover. Oh well, it wasn’t like Liam Kennedy couldn’t have had a drunk father. “Left home the day I turned eighteen, didn’t go back till the day of his funeral.”
“I told myself that was what I was gonna do,” Keegan said, and Liam had to strain to hear him over the ambient noise of the restaurant. “After I left the family, I told myself I was gonna cut ties. Didn’t work out that way for me, though. I mean, I don’t like what my dad does for a living, but I still love him.”
“He seems like a nice guy,” Liam allowed. “Of course, everyone thought my dad was a nice guy.”
“Isn’t that the way it goes?” Keegan’s mouth twisted in an unhappy smile. “My dad really is a nice guy when he’s not being the big boss, but I’ve seen a lot of families like that. My dad’s got a lot of drunken Irish stereotypes working for him.”
“So I’ve noticed,” Liam agreed.
“But you’re not one of them.” Keegan planted his right elbow on the table, made a fist, and leaned his chin on it. “You say there’s a problem, but I don’t think you’re right. You’re not drinking now. I didn’t see you drink last time you came in. Rehab? AA?”
“AA,” Liam acknowledged, having to force the words out. “Three years.” His hand, as it always did, slipped into his pocket for the reassuring weight of the chip there.
“Good for you. So it’s not a problem.” Keegan let his arm fall from the table and reached to pick up his sandwich one-handed. He took a bite, letting his eyes fall closed and smiling around it.
Liam didn’t want to be a downer, but on the subject of alcohol, it was second nature to him. “Of course it’s a problem. It’s never over, you know?”
“I do know,” Keegan said, nodding. “And anyone who ever wants to seriously date me is gonna have to deal with the fact that I’m an ex-gangster with a past no one wants to think about. But it’s the past, not here and now. It’s not going to actively hurt Alex. I don’t think you’ll let it.”
Liam sat there for a moment considering Keegan’s insight. He was right; Liam wasn’t drinking and hadn’t in years. He still wanted to, but he thought about it less often than he once had. Less often every day.
“You oughta eat that.” Keegan’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “It’s good stuff. Alex doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
Liam gave him a grin. “I wouldn’t have thought it, but apparently Alex needs his culinary horizons expanded,” he agreed.
Keegan was right, the pasta was incredible.
It was so good that Liam asked Brigit to give his compliments to the chef when she returned. “I’d ask for a recipe, but it sounds like Alex wouldn’t eat it with me.”
“Uh-oh,” she said, balancing the tray on her arm as she added the empty glasses. “Sounds like trouble in paradise. Alex told me what he did to your salad. Might be time for some culinary warfare.”
Liam shook his head. “That’s a terrible idea. If he’s not willing to eat it there must be a reason. I mean, I’ve seen him eat sesame chicken burritos.”
Both Brigit and Keegan stared at him. “What?”
He shrugged. “There’s a restaurant near my place that calls their menu Mexican-Chinese fusion. It’s like they took all the Americanized takeout from both, and threw them together.”
Brigit started giggling. “Oh no. I have to tell Chef Drew. He’ll die.” As soon as she got the last glass onto her tray, she practically ran for the kitchen.
Keegan watched her go, and slowly turned back to give Liam a glare. “If I’m forced to eat sesame chicken burritos, I’m blaming you.”
“I’d say I’m sorry, but I think we both know I’m not. They were awesome.” Liam grinned at him cheekily, opened his laptop, and went back to playing solitaire.
7
Alex Isn't That Patient
After two weeks at Wilde’s, Alex had decided three things:
First, paying waitstaff less than minimum wage on the assumption that they would make the rest in tips was criminal. He was forever grateful that Keegan didn’t agree with the practice, and horrified to know that Jenna had been accepting a bunch of sleazy, old jerks hitting on her because it meant she earned a decent living most days.
Second, the band had a lot to live up to, given the talent that went through Wilde’s practically every night he worked.
Third, he had been charmed by his boyfriend being a gentleman that first night, and it had been sweet in the intervening weeks, but he was absolutely, unequivocally, done with it. They’d had dinner a total of six times, gone to a plot-free action movie, and even spent an evening at Navy Pier. Not once had Liam suggested taking Alex back to his place for any reason that wasn’t food-related.
He wanted to ask Jenna for advice on how to get his boyfriend to sleep with him, but he suspected her smugness over the question would make her impossible to live with. He still didn’t want to think of Elsi or Jake as sexual beings, so that left them out. Alex had precious few people he could talk to about his not-yet sex life.
Just one, in fact.
“So,” Brigit said, handing him a mostly empty tray and grabbing a clean one. “You want to know why your boyfriend of two weeks isn’t pressuring you to have sex?”
One of the other waitresses, Emma, snorted at she passed them on her way out of the kitchen. “Sounds like some kind of champagne problem to me.”
Brigit frowned after her. “Okay, when she says it like that, it makes me feel like a jerk. Like, you know, like her. I mean, you’re allowed to want to sleep with your boyfriend. Did you tell him you want to sleep with him?”
“Not, um, exactly like that, no.” Alex was hedging, and from Brigit’s quirked lip and brow, she knew it too. “Okay, it’s just that we basically slept together the night we met, and then kind of made out the next morning, and after that? Nothing.”
“You’ve already had sex?” she asked, eyebrows drawing together.
He sighed, and it was filled with built-up sexual frustration. “No. Just slept. I was kind of drunk. A lot drunk.”
“Hm.” She filled a pitcher with ice water and set it on her new tray. “Sounds to me like he’s waiting for you to make the move. This is basically your first relationship, right? And he knows it?”
Alex nodded. He knew he shouldn’t feel ridiculous about that. It wasn’t as though he’d had a lot of time for relationships when he was younger. He’d spent his high school life in a constant state of desperation to do more, be better, and to make his parents happy. “I have no idea what I’m doing, Brigit. Fix me?”
She snorted at him. “You don’t need fixing, Alex. You’re fine. You’re worrying too much. He’s waiting for you. You’re having dinner tonight, right?”
“Yes?” he said hopefully, his voice turning it into a plea as much as an answer.
Holding the tray out to him, she shrugged. “So grab some food from the kitchen when you go, and tell him you just wanna stay at his place and, you know, Netflix and chill.”
“Seriously?” Emma asked on her way back into the kitchen. “Only if you want to sound like you’re stuck in the middle of last year.”
Brigit rolled her eyes and gave Alex a put-upon look. “No, seriously, say it.” She shot a glare at Emma. “Your willingness to use terminally out-of-date slang will prove that you’re not a child.”
He took the tray Brigit was offering, looked between the two of them for a second as they eyed each other, and then asked, “Um, guys? What the heck are y
ou talking about? I don’t even know if he has Netflix.”
Both women started giggling at that, and Brigit shook her head as she put her hands on his shoulders and turned him around. “Take the water to table twenty-one, and never, ever ask anyone who isn’t your boyfriend about whether he has Netflix.”
So that hadn’t helped at all. On the other hand, staying in for dinner and watching television sounded like a nice night. Not to mention getting a little peace and quiet. Alex loved his friends, but the apartment was rarely quiet. Having three full-time occupants made a place loud and bright by default.
When he had a break, he decided to text Liam about it.
Could we just hang out at your place tonight? I’ll grab dinner from the bar. I’ll even bring you onion rings.
It was less than a full minute before Liam responded.
Sounds great. There’s a documentary I want to watch, if that’s okay.
He looked at his phone for a minute, trying to read deeper meaning into the words. Was that some kind of obscure slang that Alex had missed while studying law? Nah.
Sure, I’ll be there in a couple of hours.
Brigit gave him a questioning look when he got back from break, and he nodded. “I’m gonna take dinner with me.”
She looked at him for a painfully long moment before sighing, then she took a small step into his personal space and lowered her voice. “I can’t believe I’m doing this, but are you, ah, prepared for the way the evening could go?”
“You mean that he’s like, not interested or something?” he asked. He had no idea what she was hinting at, but it seemed important to her.
She sighed and let her head hang forward. “Alex. I’m asking you if you have condoms. And lube.”
“Oh,” he said, before the full force of her question hit him. “OH.”
“Yeah,” she agreed. “Maybe you should make a small detour on the way to his place. There’s a drugstore just down the block.”
He nodded, mortified that she’d been the one to think of it and not him. He felt like a teenager on prom night, who had just realized the enormity of his ignorance on the subject of sex.
It didn’t get better an hour later, when the woman at the drugstore gave him a once-over as she rang up the things he’d picked out. He felt like there was some kind of club, and he’d failed to offer the secret handshake. Maybe he bought the wrong brand of something.
“Have a nice night,” she called after him as he left the store, and his face flamed in the chilly December air. He stiffened his spine and held his head up. There was nothing to be ashamed of. He was going to have dinner with his hot boyfriend, and maybe have some sex.
It was going to be a good night.
Liam answered the door on the first knock, and gave Alex a wide, white smile that made him look like a toothpaste ad. Alex was struck by how beautiful he was when he smiled.
He held up the bags in his hands, realized one of them was his drugstore purchase, and lowered them again.
“Everything okay?” Liam asked with a bemused smile.
“Sure,” he answered. His voice was annoyingly high to his own ears, but Liam didn’t seem to notice. “Brought you that artichoke thing you like. Even if I don’t know how anyone can enjoy eating something with ‘choke’ in the name.”
Liam chuckled. “It’s delicious, that’s how.”
“That doesn’t even make sense,” Alex shot back. “Why would they name it that if it was actually delicious? Did they want it to be a secret?” He held up one of the restaurant’s bags again, hoping that Liam would take it and be distracted by the food and not notice the drugstore bag in his other hand.
Liam took the bait, but then grabbed the hand he had freed, tugging Alex along toward the kitchen. “I’m glad you came over. It’ll be nice to have a quiet night in.”
“You’re the one who keeps taking me out,” Alex said. He set his bag of food on the counter and tried to subtly set the other one behind Liam, next to the fridge. He thought he’d move it after they got the food plated, when Liam headed out of the kitchen to start his documentary.
It was like something out of a bad sitcom; it almost worked, but anyone observing could have seen the end coming a mile away.
Liam put everything out on plates, Alex added silverware to them and grabbed two cans of cold soda from the fridge so that Liam didn’t have to turn that way. They both picked up their plates and headed for the living room.
And then Alex’s fork fell off his plate. Liam immediately turned around and headed back into the kitchen, setting his plate down on the counter and reaching for the silverware drawer. To Alex, everything was happening in gut-churning, slow motion. The drawer was right under the spot where Alex had put the bag.
“What’s this?”
Alex couldn’t move, couldn’t even breathe, as Liam picked up the bag and peeked inside. Alex couldn’t bear to watch the rest. He set his food down and buried his head in his hands.
A moment later, arms came around his waist from behind, and Liam was pressed along his back. He leaned in close enough that his breath ghosted over Alex’s ear when he spoke. “Big plans for the night?”
“Could I possibly go hide in the bathroom now?” Alex asked. “Or hey, the closet?”
Liam chuckled into his neck, making him shiver involuntarily. “Why would you hide?” he asked. “I think what you should do is go put your loot in the bedroom in case we need it later.”
Alex dropped his hands from his face and asked, “Really? I didn’t just completely destroy the mood?”
“Because I was a nosy jerk and looked in your bag without an invitation? Or because you’ve been thinking about needing that stuff?” Liam squeezed him tight for a second, then let go. “You didn’t do anything wrong, and as far as I’m concerned, the mood isn’t dead.”
Alex couldn’t help but give a tiny smile as Liam kissed the back of his neck.
“We’re both adults, Alex,” Liam said as he pulled away. “I know you don’t have a frame of reference, but I don’t want you embarrassed by things like condoms. They’re important, and you know it. That’s good.”
“Brigit reminded me,” Alex admitted. “My parents weren’t really all about the sex talk. Or talking in general, really. They assumed I wasn’t having sex, and lucky for them, I wasn’t. I’d have so gotten someone pregnant.”
Liam laughed. “That would be pretty impressive in this case. But hey, you brought condoms anyway, so even better.”
“You probably bought your own like, the night after we started dating,” Alex said.
Shaking his head, Liam leaned down and picked up Alex’s dropped fork from the floor, setting it in the sink to be washed. “Two days ago.”
Alex took the bag from the counter and took out the box of condoms and tube of lube. Every after school special forced on him in high school had said that boys only wanted one thing, and they would pressure you to get it. He hadn’t gotten anything like that from Liam, though.
“You’re really not in a hurry, are you?”
“Should I be?” Liam asked him as he took a new fork from the drawer. “Are you planning on running off?”
“Of course. Why else would I have gone out and bought these myself?” Alex waved the box of condoms around, then realized what he was doing and stopped. “I’m just gonna go put these away. I’ll be back in a minute.”
In Liam’s bedroom, he opened the nightstand drawer to find that there were a nearly identical box of condoms and tube of lube already there. “Guess we’re good to go for a while,” he mumbled. The duplicates were proof, though, that Liam had at least been thinking about it.
Liam had thought about having sex with him. A shiver went down his spine, and he considered trying to talk Liam into skipping the whole dinner-and-movie part of the evening. He’d waited twenty-three years, though. What was another couple of hours?
As it turned out, another couple of hours was a World War II documentary. Something about Omaha Beach and D-day, but
Alex couldn’t be entirely sure. He got distracted about twenty minutes in. Once dinner was done, he spent the rest of the time trying to find his way further and further into Liam’s space.
First it was leaning against him. Then he pushed his way under Liam’s arm, and squeezed tight against him. After a few minutes of that, he unsubtly slid his calf beneath Liam’s, wrapping their legs together. All the while, Liam kept his eyes glued to the television and tried hard to hide the smile that was creeping onto his face.
Alex was considering turning and putting his head in Liam’s lap, and what effects that might have, when there was a swell in the music, and suddenly the sound of the television cut out altogether. He turned to look, and found that Liam had turned it off.
“Was it over?” he asked, trying to make his face a picture of innocence.
Liam smiled, though he was still trying not to. “Yeah. It was over.”
“Really over, or you got tired of me being distracting over?” Alex let his head roll back onto Liam’s shoulder and looked at him.
“Tired of you?” Liam asked. “It had half an hour left, but no part of me is tired of you squirming around like that.”
Alex lifted an eyebrow in mock challenge. “No part?” Then he ran the words back through his head and his lips twisted into a wry expression. “Dude. That was way less ‘hey, I’m sexy so get over here’ than I planned it. More ‘I’m a virgin and no one should have sex with me ever’, really.”
A laugh escaped Liam at that, but he muffled it by leaning forward and pressing his lips against Alex’s. It was a tiny, chaste thing, much like their first kiss, but that didn’t make it any less sexy. There was an intimacy in it that Alex hadn’t seen in porn, or even kissing scenes in movies. Maybe that was because those were fake, but he suspected it was something more.
Liam was kissing him because he wanted to kiss him. Not because he wanted to have sex, or because it was a thing he was supposed to do. There was more of Liam in that kiss than most people ever got to see.