by Kimi Flores
Cocking her head to the side, Leah asked, “Hmm, would that little smile have anything to do with a very handsome ranch owner we both know?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Bri shrugged as she looked down to inspect her newly painted toes.
“Aww Bri.” Leah leaned over and bumped her shoulder to Bri’s. “That is so awesome. Josh is a great guy. I really hope it works out for you.”
The stool Bri was sitting on swiveled when she jerked her head to the side. “Wait, I never said there was an ‘us’.”
Leah smiled. “You didn’t have to. You light up when you mention his name, it’s obvious.”
Bri threw her hands in the air and slapped her thighs, resigning to the truth. “Okay, fine. I might have a thing for him.” But even though she just blurted that out, she had no interest in discussing it. Suddenly, she was very interested in the small birthmark on top of her knee.
Kinda looks like a little snowflake.
“Does he know?”
Bri shrugged, ever so slightly. “Not sure. I’m trying to play it cool. We’ve moved on from the past, but it’s still…there, y’know?”
“Yes. I know all about moving past previous mistakes. Do what’s best for you, and I’ll try to tame your brother when he sees you two together today.” Leah snickered.
“Oh crap, I didn’t even think about that. Stefen’s known some of the guys I’ve dated and traveled with, but he’s never been around them before.” Bri started to panic. “Wait. Why am I getting nervous? I’m a grown woman. I can go out with whoever I want. I don’t need his approval. Plus, Josh and I aren’t even dating.”
“Sweetie, it’s okay,” Leah said gently. “I was just joking. Wow, this really makes you nervous. Stefen only wants you to be happy. He just has a hard time letting you go, that’s all. You’re his baby sister.” She gave Bri a warm glance.
“I know,” Bri sighed. “It’s frustrating sometimes though. I’m trying so hard to be my own woman, and I’m still so used to him being there to pick up the pieces and take care of everything.”
“I get it Bri, but just know that you are not alone.” The soft lines on Leah’s face told Bri that she was speaking in all sincerity and not just blowing smoke up her ass.
Slowly nodding, she closed her eyes for a moment. “I do know that. Thank you.”
“Okay, now get outta here and go gawk at that man before we get there.” Leah wiggled her eyebrows as the devious smile appears on her lips.
Bri giggled. “Alright. I’ll see you guys in a bit.” Picking up her purse, she smoothed her hands down the back of her shorts before heading to her car. After starting the engine, she took a deep breath and texted Josh, letting him know she was coming early.
I can’t wait to spend a few minutes with him before everyone else gets there.
He texted right back, which spiked her pulse. Holy butterflies!
Josh: Can’t wait to see you.
She’d already entertained the idea of dating him. The past was gone, and he really did seem different. He was different. Now she wondered if he was on the same page. With any other guy, she would’ve just flirted until he asked her out, but Josh was her first crush. The guy she’d obsessed over for years. She wanted to do things differently this time.
This time, he would make the first move, if he was interested.
When she arrived at the now familiar entrance, she wasn’t surprised to see the gates wide open. She wasn’t the only one showing up today. As she headed in, a restricted number rang on her cell. Without thinking, Bri answered, speaking into the microphone installed in her car.
“Hello?” she answered in her sing-song voice.
“I knew it,” came a bitter familiar voice. “You are purposely avoiding my calls, Brianna. How dare you ignore me. I am your mother, and you are to pick up when I call you.”
Dammit! How could she have been so stupid!
Parking at the furthest spot from the front door, Bri gripped her steering wheel, squeezing her eyes tight. “I’ve been really busy, Mom. I don’t have time to argue with you over the phone, just because you aren’t getting your way.”
Bri peeked out her driver’s side window, pulling the phone out of the hands-free cradle.
Please don’t let Josh come out right now.
The fury in her mother’s tone could not be mistaken. “I cannot believe you promised me the money, then had Stefen run to your father about it. I should’ve known you weren’t mature enough to make choices on your own, always running to big brother to tell you what to do.”
As her mother continued to eject her poison, Bri felt tiny pricks of tension zinging up and down her back.
“Unlike you, I’m not spineless. I can make my own choices, and I knew what I was doing when I asked you for that money. I didn’t need you to go tattle on me. I should’ve known I couldn’t count on you for anything.” It was then that Bri picked up on her mother’s slurring.
Oh shit. She’s been drinking. She wouldn’t hold back now. Although Bri was over two thousand miles away, she visualized her mother’s alcohol induced, hooded stare down. She could practically feel her hot, venomous breath on her face as she spewed demeaning words at her one and only daughter. To this day, Bri couldn’t stomach the smell of vodka, her mother’s drink of choice.
At least this time, she wouldn’t have to help her mother into bed after she’d slapped Bri across her face or pulled her hair while shaking her head. Subconsciously, her fingertips grazed across the small scars on her scalp and the tiny ones barely visible on the underside of her arm where her mother’s nails had dug into her skin time and time again. It wasn’t until she went off to college that part of the abuse stopped.
These were the altercations Bri had fought so hard to keep everyone else from knowing about. The ones her mother saved for when no one else was around to hear them.
Even now, she knew she could just hang up, but there was still a scared little girl somewhere deep inside that feared the retaliation would be even greater than her horrific words.
Her mother delivered one blow after another. “You’ve always been worthless and the biggest thorn in my ass, Brianna. I can’t tell you how many times I woke up, wishing you’d disappeared the night before.”
Bri’s chest tightened as anguish erupted inside of her. Normally, she could take it, whatever her mother threw at her. But this…this was… “Why do you hate me?” She had to fight the urge to start her car and run away, like she’d done her entire adult life.
There was a moment of silence. Something in her mother’s tone was off. Was she…crying? “You ruined my life. You were supposed to be my one shot at happiness, then you were born and shortly after, I just knew.” Her gravelly words continued. “You became my nightmare, sent to mock me for the rest of my life. A horrible reminder of what I lost and would never have again. I made a huge mistake when I married your father and agreed to have your brother, but you…you are my biggest regret. Had I known the truth, I would’ve had an abortion. I can’t tell you how many times I fantasized about drowning you when you were in the bathtub. I could’ve been rid of you for good.”
Bri’s lips began to tremble. “What?” she could barely utter. “What are you talking about? You aren’t making any sense.” Her mother had wanted to kill her?
The anger in her gruff words was unmistakable. “You’ve pushed me to my breaking point, Brianna.”
Bri clenched her fist. Is this really happening? Was she really sitting in Josh’s driveway, listening to her mother cut her to pieces?
And she kept going. “Your father promised me a better life, but dammit I should’ve known better.”
Bri pulled the phone away momentarily. Her heart was breaking, reeling with shock and anger.
“The first time I ever felt hope was when I found out I was pregnant with you. I actually thought happiness was around the corner for me, then you were born.” Her snide chuckle as she sniffed made Bri’s skin crawl. “The minute I looked
at you, I knew you were nothing. You were going to be a constant reminder, making sure I knew that no matter how close I came, I could never have the one thing I wanted.”
Does she really think she’s the victim here?
Looking down at her hand, Bri realized she’d been digging her nails into her palm. Small droplets of blood appeared on her skin when she opened her stiff fingers, reminding her of the marks her mother used to leave on her.
“Just know that no matter what you do, I cannot make myself care about you. And don’t ever expect me to say ‘I love you’ because I don’t and never will. Do us all a favor. Don’t have kids. You could never bring anything good into this world.”
Bri’s heart dropped as a switch went off in her head. The words came out of her mouth without a second thought. “I hate you, Mother. I hope you burn in hell.”
“Yeah well, the feeling is mutual,” her mother said coldly as she sniffed again.
Then the line went dead, and Bri sat frozen in her car. The phone fell to the floor, and she attempted to comfort herself by wrapping her arms around her shaking body as uncontrollable sobs wracked through her.
She knew in her heart that her mother never loved her, but hearing the words from her mouth was beyond anything Bri could handle.
I thought I heard Bri pull in.
Josh didn’t want to seem too eager, but he was excited to see her. He’d been pacing the damn kitchen since she texted. He was afraid of moving too fast, too soon, scaring her away. All he knew was that he wanted her more than anything he’d ever wanted in his life.
I wonder what’s taking her so long.
Stepping onto his porch, he heard a car racing up the driveway. He casually stretched his arms above his head, nonchalantly looking to his left and saw her car parked next to his.
That’s weird.
He took a closer look and saw Bri sitting in the driver’s seat, slumped over as her shoulders shook.
Shit, what happened?
He barely registered that he wasn’t wearing shoes as he tore across the driveway. Headlights blinded at him when he saw a Porsche Cayenne come to a screeching halt behind her car. Then he watched Bri’s brother jump out of his SUV and rush to her door.
“Fuck.” Stefen growled under his breath.
Josh had never seen a man look so unnerved, and he couldn’t do anything but stand frozen in his spot as he watched him yank Bri’s door open, reach in, and pull her out. Her body shuddered violently as her cries rang out, causing Josh’s heart and mind to race.
His eyes shot over to Leah, who also stood motionless next to the SUV. Tears ran down her face as she watched her husband comfort Bri.
What the hell is happening?
Completely enveloping her in his arms, Stefen attempted to soothe Bri. “You’re safe, I’ve got you. Dad just called me. He overheard the end of the conversation.”
Her sobs continued to bellow through the air, and something inside of Josh snapped. He didn’t know what the hell was going on but never wanted to see her like this again. A deep pain stabbed at his heart as he helplessly watched, trying to figure out how he could take it all away.
He couldn’t stay in place. He had to do something. Leah glanced at him and nodded, giving him a knowing look, silently appearing to be on board with him.
Another vehicle began to make its way up his driveway. Peering over her shoulder, Leah seemed to come up with something. She made eye contact with Josh, mouthing ‘follow me’. Bri’s cries calmed to a whimper as Leah softly touched her back, telling Stefen, “Amor, the kids are here.”
“I’ll take her inside,” Josh offered.
Obviously confused, Stefen narrowed his eyes, looking at Leah as she reached over and pulled Josh within Stefen’s view.
Bri’s bloodshot, defeated eyes gazed over Stefen’s shoulder, and Josh took a few steps closer, knowing Stefen was giving him the stare down. A thick layer of pure territorial power filled the space between them.
Josh had all the respect on the earth for Stefen and the way he imagined he’d protected Bri all of her life, but Josh felt the need to step in and help her.
Subconsciously, each guy puffed their chests while both women watched.
“It’s okay, man. I’ve got her now.” Josh reached out, placing his hand on Bri’s shoulder.
A growl vibrated within Stefen’s chest as he looked between Josh and Bri, who were staring directly at each other. It didn’t matter that her expression said that she was embarrassed to have Josh see her broken like this because it also said that she wanted him there with her.
Josh felt Leah walk around the other side of Stefen, when the van parked behind their SUV. “Mi Amor, it’s okay. She’ll be fine. Trust me, please.”
Stefen slowly released Bri, continuing to watch her and Josh. Bri snuck a look at her brother, nodded and assured him, “Go help Leah with the kids. I’ll be over in a bit.”
While he cautiously let Bri go, he reminded her, “I’m still close by if you need me. I’ll be back to check on you.”
Something switched in the air as Stefen finally let go, allowing Josh to step in. Wrapping his arm around Bri, Josh gave Stefen an appreciative nod, hoping it conveyed that he was aware of what Stefen was entrusting to him.
Tossing his keys to Stefen, Josh said, “Look anywhere you guys need to. I’ve got a couple of horse trainers out in the corral, waiting for everyone. I’m gonna take her inside for a while.”
Stefen nodded and turned to catch up with his wife, who had made her way toward the van filled with her dance kids.
Josh walked her into his home, thankful that Stefen hadn’t put up a fight. Although he still didn’t know why Bri was upset, he couldn’t imagine she would want her brother and him to fight over who was better suited to take care of her.
The sound of her tiny whimpers echoed through his living room as he led her to the couch. Encouraging her to sit next to him, he reached for her hands.
Bri jumped when his fingers made contact with her palms. Looking at the small streak of blood on his finger, he opened her hand to find tiny punctures.
When she looked down in shame, he didn’t have the heart to ask her about it. “I’ll be right back.” His footsteps stomped through the room as he made his way into the bathroom. After retrieving the first aid kit, he rejoined Bri on the couch.
“Let me see.” Pulling her hand onto his lap, he applied a small amount of peroxide, causing her to jump. His eyes darted to hers. “Sorry.” He puckered his lips, gently blowing onto her injuries. Kissing her palm just beside her wounds, Josh brought her hand back down to his lap where he applied healing ointment and gauze. His eyes moved from her hand to her swollen eyes. A few pieces of hair were stuck in her lashes, and they moved when she blinked.
Josh swept his finger across her forehead, brushing the strands away. “I’m not going to force you to tell me what’s going on, but you can trust me, you know. If you want to tell me, or don’t, I’m here.” He never felt this way about a woman before and didn’t quite know what to do with them. One thing was for sure though, he was willing to give her whatever she needed from him.
Blinking hard, she hiccupped. “I’m not sure how I feel. I’m still in shock.” Her dry lips continued to quiver as she began to rub her temple.
“Wait here.” He really didn’t know what to do to help her but figured she could use a glass of water if nothing else. Darting into the kitchen, he pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and filled a glass with ice and water, then reached for a bottle of Ibuprofen.
As he stepped out of the kitchen, he saw her holding her head. “Here, take this.” He opened the bottle, letting a couple of pills fall into her uninjured hand, then gave her the glass of water.
Her watery eyes met his. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Popping the pills into her mouth, she took a swig and rubbed her head. Quietly, she asked, “What do you do when life pulls the rug out from under you?”
He was silent for a long mo
ment. Because he wasn’t sure what to do. At least, not the right thing to do. He’d had the rug pulled out from under him many times, but he never handled it right. Not until he got sober.
Finally, he said, “I choose to focus on the good in my life. We all have shit to deal with, but the good normally outweighs the bad, doesn’t it? I usually get lost in riding my horses and bikes or going to the vineyard to see Zach and my uncle.”
Biting down on her top and bottom lips, she nodded as she slowly blinked. “You’re right. I have a lot of good in my life,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “I’ll tell you what’s going on later, but for now I need to go be with the kids. That’s something good, right?”