Fighting For Love - A Standalone Novel (A Bad Boy Sports Romance Love Story) (Burbank Brothers, Book #5)

by Naomi Niles

  “I… It’s okay… That wasn’t your fault… I should have known… He…he…”

  “It’s okay,” I said bracingly. “You don’t have to explain. Let’s just get the hell out of here.”

  Her beautiful blue eyes met mine for a moment before she nodded, as though nothing in the world sounded better to her than that.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Brittany

  It was more than just humiliation that I was feeling. It was pure, unadulterated hurt. The only reason why it was affecting me so badly was because I thought I had stopped caring a long time ago. And if that had been true, then his words would have lost the power to hurt me. But they still cut like a knife, and I was that sad ten-year-old again, craving for her father’s love and approval.

  I sat next to Talen, trying to calm the shaking and hoping that he wouldn’t notice how distraught I was. But I could sense him glance over at me every few seconds, and I knew I hadn’t fooled him. When he pulled up outside my building, I gave him a glance without meeting his eyes.

  “I… I can’t really talk right now,” I mumbled.

  “I understand,” Talen replied.

  “Thank you for coming with me,” I said weakly.

  I got out of the car and headed inside. I didn’t hear Talen leave, but I wasn’t paying much attention anyway. I walked up the stairs in a daze, fumbled with my key, and dropped it twice before I finally managed to get the door open. Then I walked into my tiny apartment, sat down in the dark, and stared at the blank wall where my television used to sit.

  The darkness was oppressive, and it created a canvas for memory. I kept reliving the same moment over and over again. That bite in his voice, that cold unfeeling indifference in his eyes when he told me he wasn’t going to give me a cent. I saw it all and somehow it seemed worse now than it did then.

  Was I really so hard to love? Was I really such a terrible child that my own father couldn’t find it in him to tolerate me?

  I wanted something to hold on to, something to keep me from drowning, but I was alone. I was completely alone in the dark. And then suddenly, a noise caught my attention, and I turned as my front door creaked open.

  “Talen?” I said, sitting up a little straighter.

  He walked inside and closed the door behind him. “I know you don’t want to talk,” he said. “And, we don’t have to talk. I just…want to sit with you. Is that okay?”

  His tone was gentle and his eyes were so kind, and that was exactly what I needed just then. I nodded slowly as he sat down beside me and drew me into the circle of his arms. I rested my head against his strong, broad chest and breathed in and out in slowly. I felt him kiss the top of my head and that one gesture alone was enough to soothe me. My tears didn’t dry up, but I didn’t feel like I was going to break, either. I turned my face up to his.

  “I think I’m ready to talk now,” I told him.

  “You don’t have to,” he said. “I’m happy to just sit here with you.”

  “I know,” I nodded. “But I think I want to talk… I think it might be cathartic.”

  “Okay,” Talen nodded. But he didn’t prompt me. He just sat there holding me, waiting for me to speak when I was ready.

  I took a deep breath. “My mother’s name was Lucy,” I started. “She was a natural blonde, and she had brown eyes. That’s how I used to describe her in school when we wrote essays about our mothers. But when we wrote essays about our fathers… I didn’t really have much to say. I’d never really met my father. My mother and I lived alone in this tiny one-bedroom apartment above this rat-infested Chinese restaurant.

  “The thing is… Mom talked about my father a lot. She told me that he was a handsome man who lived in a beautiful place with trees in the front garden and big cars in the drive. So, I grew up knowing I had a father and knowing he was out there. I just… I’d never really seen him.

  “One day when I was seven or eight, I demanded to be taken to him. I was convinced that Mom had made him up and wanted to know for sure. She was hesitant at first, but then she nodded, got me all dressed up, and then we headed over to this amazing house in the city.

  “I couldn’t quite believe my eyes… I had never seen anything so beautiful before. We stood outside his door, we were shown into a massive drawing room and we were told that Fletcher McMillian would be down shortly. He showed up half an hour later. When he saw my mother… He wasn’t happy, I can say that much. He asked her why she had come and why she had brought me.”

  I felt Talen’s arms enclose around me, and I knew he was trying to give me comfort. “You see, they had an agreement in place… My mother was a poor waitress in a local restaurant, and my father was the rich businessman who got bored one day. They spent one night together, and I was the product of that unfortunate pairing. When Mom tracked him down and told him she was pregnant, he told her to get an abortion. She told him she had come because she wanted to let him know she was keeping me.

  “He tried to talk her out of it, but she refused to budge. He told her that he wasn’t interested in being a father. I don’t really know what Mom wanted from him, but in the end, they came to an agreement. Fletcher agreed to give her a monthly allowance, child support so to speak. In return, she would live her life separately and he would have nothing to do with…me.

  “So every month, Mom would get her money and Fletcher would continue on with his luxurious, childless life.

  “Apparently, Mom tried to contact him a couple of times when I was a baby. She tried to send him photos and cards detailing my milestones. He returned them all, reminding her of their agreement. But when I started insisting on meeting my father, Mom said she couldn’t ignore my requests any longer.

  “I don’t know what she expected really,” I sighed. “He had made it abundantly clear that he had no interest in being a parent. I think she must have thought that seeing me would change his mind. It didn’t. He looked me up and down as though I was a piece of furniture and then he told my mom to take me and leave.

  “She cried the whole way back. I cried, too…though I wasn’t quite sure what had happened at the time. After that, I never asked to see my father again. But I remembered his name and where he lived. When I got older, I used to walk by his neighborhood, pass his house, and every once in awhile, I saw him come and go. He never saw me, though. He probably wouldn’t have recognized me even if he had.”

  I stopped talking for a moment. My throat was a little parched, but I didn’t want to get up and get water because now that I had started the story, I needed to finish it.

  Talen was silent as stone, but I knew he was listening. His blue eyes were focused, and I could see the twinge of emotion flitting through them. I saw the flicker of outrage, anger, sadness, and derision. I could see that he felt for me, that he was outraged on my behalf. It was nice… It was nice to have someone on my side; it was nice to have someone who understood what it felt like to be an outsider.

  “And then when I was sixteen, my world turned upside down,” I continued. “I was in school, and I was called in to the principal’s office. I had to sit there while Principal MacKay held my hand and told me that there had been an accident and my mother was in the hospital. It was only after I got there that they told me she had died.”

  Talen looked down at me in shock. I held his gaze for only a moment before I looked away and continued with my story. “I had no one… My mother had been a foster child who had no real family. I had no aunts and uncles, no grandparents, no family to speak of. All I had was my mother’s last will and testament. And in it, my father’s name was clearly stated for the world to see. And just like that, I found myself on Fletcher McMillian’s doorstep again.

  “He wasn’t happy, but he had no choice now. He was all I had left in the world, and he was forced to take me in. I lived with him for a year… A full year of feeling unwanted and unwelcome before I finally decided to leave. I packed my bags, dropped out of school and left his house. I was seventeen…”

&n
bsp; Talen looked down at me. “Brittany…”

  “You don’t have to say anything, Talen,” I told him. “You listened – that’s enough for me.”

  He nodded slowly. Then he bent his head down and kissed me gently on the lips. When we pulled apart, I was feeling a little calmer. “Thank you for staying, and thank you for listening. But… I think I need to be alone tonight.”

  “Of course,” he nodded.

  He kissed me again and then left me to my empty apartment. I sat in the darkness for a moment longer and then I got up, put my jogging tights on, and headed outside for a late night run. I was surprised by how much I had started to enjoy running. It was more comforting than I could have imagined and it actually helped me breathe.

  I ran for a long time. I ran until my legs ached, my muscles were sore, and my sides were burning. Then when I had enough, I turned around and started jogging back home at a steady pace. The talk and the run had done me a world of good, and I was starting to feel a little more in control of my feelings.

  My financial situation was still the same, but it didn’t matter. I shouldn’t have been taking money from a man like that in any case. Better to suffer and come up on my own, rather than accept money from him and come up the easy way.

  I didn’t know how I was going to get myself out of this hole, but I was determined to try. If I had survived a year under Fletcher McMillian’s roof, I could certainly get through this. I was going to make it on my own, and I was going to prove my so-called father wrong, once and for all.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Talen

  The diner was quiet when I walked in that morning. The older woman named Monica who always occupied the front booth was happily chomping down on a piece of pie. And, there were three older men in various shades of flannel, sitting at the breakfast counter, eating silently.

  Lacey was wiping down a table at the back as I walked over to her. She saw me coming at the last minute and gave a little start of surprise.

  “Geez, Talen,” she said. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re kind of a scary guy?”

  I couldn’t help but smile at that. “A few,” I nodded. “Where’s Brittany?”

  Lacey continued wiping down the table. “She took the day off today.”

  I frowned, instantly worried. She hadn’t been in great shape when I’d left her the previous night, and I was wondering if leaving her in that condition had been a mistake. “Do you know why?”

  “She’s out hunting for a second job,” she replied.

  “Oh.”

  “Why?” she asked. “You look a little worried?”

  “I… I’m not,” I said quickly. “Did Brittany mention anything to you about yesterday?”

  “Yesterday?” she repeated, wrinkling her brows together. “No, I don’t think so. Why?”

  “No reason,” I said quickly, realizing that Brittany hadn’t shared her meeting with her father with Lacey. “Can I get some toast and coffee, please?”

  “Of course,” Lacey nodded, looking at me curiously. “Give me five minutes.”

  She left me at my usual booth and headed over to the breakfast counter. I took out my phone and dialled in Brittany’s number, but then I thought better of calling. She would call me if she needed me, I decided. Until then, I would give her the space she so obviously needed.

  I was surprised at how worried I was about Brittany. I had never spent so much effort thinking about one specific woman before. This was the first time that I actually had a vested interest in a girl I had slept with.

  My thoughts kept flitting to my four brothers. They had all been staunch bachelors at one point. I had always assumed that Peter and John would live together in our childhood home until they were old, gray, and cranky. I had assumed Alan and Sam would be playing the field until their dentures fell out of their worn mouths.

  And yet, against all odds, my brothers had become the very thing they had always wanted to avoid. They had become family men.

  John was going to be a father soon. Peter and Alan were married men, and Sam was a doting stepfather to his fiancés’s child. For me, the strangest transformation had been Sam’s. He was the one brother who had always been closest to me. He was easy to talk to and never got into anything too serious. It was safe to talk to Sam because he didn’t touch on the uncomfortable topics. And even if he did, I could always distract him easily.

  He was still easygoing and jovial, but there was a seriousness about him, too. It was a seriousness that was born out of his new set of responsibilities. He dropped Renni off at school in the mornings before he headed to the fire station for his shifts, he picked her up afterwards when he could, he went for all her school events, and he tucked her into bed at night after reading her a story.

  Overnight, he had transformed from a carefree player into a loving father, and he was the last person I’d have expected that from. I could see Peter, John, and Alan as fathers in the distant future, but somehow, the most immature brother of the lot had beaten them to the punch. And, the truly amazing part was that he was actually excelling at it.

  “Here you go,” Lacey said, interrupting my thoughts as she set a plate of toast down in front of me. “And coffee.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Sure thing,” she nodded. She paused for a moment, her eyes falling onto my face in light scrutiny. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

  “Me?”

  “Yeah,” she nodded. “You just seem a little down… Missing Brittany that much, huh?”

  I smiled. “I’ll see her tomorrow.”

  “True, but not today,” Lacey said teasingly. “She’s been talking about getting a second job for some time now. It’s a good thing that she’s finally acting on it.”

  “How easy is it to find a job here?”

  “Depends on who you are, really,” Lacey sighed. “For people like us…it’s difficult.”

  “People like us?” I repeated.

  “Brittany and I are high school drop outs with no qualifications to speak of.” Lacey gave a dejected shrug. “Our skill set is limited and generic. There are a thousand girls out there who can do the same thing we can, probably for cheaper…which doesn’t give us a lot of bargaining power. Which means we take what we can get, and we don’t quibble about it.”

  “I see.”

  “Brittany’s a smart girl, though,” Lacey continued. “She’s charismatic and cheerful, and people tend to like her right off the bat. Her pretty face doesn’t hurt, either. I’m sure she’ll find something…”

  I raised my eyebrows at Lacey. “You don’t sound sure.”

  She smiled. “I’ve been looking for work myself,” she admitted. “It’s slim pickings… I don’t envy the day Brittany has ahead of her. Anyways… I gotta get back to it.”

  “Right,” I nodded. “Thanks.”

  I ate my breakfast in a fog of thought, paid quickly, and then headed over to the facility. Ryan was already there when I arrived, and he was working over a punching bag with focus. I stretched quickly and joined him in the ring. He kept trying to make conversation, but I was just too preoccupied to engage with him. After a while, he just stopped trying.

  Despite my resilient silence, my head was just not into training and I kept finding myself on the ground with Ryan standing over me. The third time he managed to pin me down, he actually gave a whoop of pleasure.

  “Either I’m getting really good, or your head’s just not in the fight today,” Ryan said, raising an eyebrow at me. “So…”

  “So what?” I asked, wiping the sweat from my brow.

  “Which is it?”

  I shook my head. “You’re getting better?”

  He smirked at me. “Even I’m not going to buy that.”

  “I’m just a little preoccupied today,” I admitted.

  “I can tell,” he replied sarcastically. “The question is why?”

  “Yes, why?” Steven’s voice was raised with derision as he stepped into the ring and came to stand betwe
en us. “Especially since you have a big fight coming up. A fight that you insisted on participating in, despite being advised against it.”

  I lowered my eyes. “I haven’t forgotten.”

  “No?” Steven asked. “Because if you’re going to fight like this against Kendrick Conner, I can tell you right now – you will die in that ring and your name will die, too. If people remember you at all, it will be with mockery.”

  I flinched slightly, but I took it. Steven was right. I had made the call to bring forward the fight, and I needed to put more effort into the training session. But I knew that wasn’t going to happen today.

  “I just…need a day,” I said.

  “You need a day?” Steven replied incredulously.

  “I promise that when I show up tomorrow, you will see a different fighter.”

  “You’re taking off?” Ryan asked in shock.

  “I’ll see you both tomorrow,” I said.

  Without another word, I got down from the ring and headed towards the locker rooms without a backward glance. I showered briefly, changed into clean clothes, and headed back to my apartment. I was lying on my bed, trying to figure out what to do when it struck me that what I really needed was advice.

  I reached for my phone and called Sam, hoping that he wasn’t busy. Much to my relief, he answered on the fourth ring.

  “Yello?”

  “Hi, Sam,” I said.

  “Talen!” Sam said excitedly. “How’s it going, bro?”

  “Good,” I said. “My fight got brought forward. I’m going to be fighting Conner in a couple of weeks in Las Vegas.”

  “You’re shitting me!”

  “I’m not.”

  “Fucking hell,” Sam breathed. “Are you even ready for that?”

  “I’ll have to be.”

  “I’ve seen Conner fight, Talen,” he said in awe. “He’s…a serious fighter.”

  “So am I.”

  “Yeah I know, but you’re my brother,” he said, as though that explained everything.

  I smiled. “That’s not what I called to talk about.”