by Naomi Niles
No, we couldn’t. I needed to make a choice once and for all, and I needed to stick to it. I wanted us to be in a position where neither of us could get hurt, and for that to happen we needed to establish solid boundaries.
Using Danica’s words, did I follow my heart or did I listen to my head? Did I do what I wanted to do, or what I knew was smart?
As she and Lyla talked about what life was going to be like after the wedding, I sunk back into my silent dilemma once more, wishing over and over again that the right answer would just reveal itself to me, saving me all of this constant inner turmoil.
Chapter 25
Danica
I slowly unpacked the few items of shopping that I purchased whilst in the city, not really concentrating on what I was doing. My mind was elsewhere. There had definitely been something going on between me and Rhett today–there was no denying that–but I didn’t know what it meant. I also wasn’t sure how much longer Rhett and I could continue going along this crazy up and down ride, neither of us making a solid decision.
Well, we certainly couldn’t do it forever. Soon it was going to become obvious that I was pregnant and I needed to make a decision about what I was going to do with that yet.
Did I tell him that he was the dad, or was I going to act like I’d been sleeping with someone else at the same time? Would I even get away with that anymore, or was he going to demand a DNA test, making this whole thing even more dramatic than it already was?
I wished that I didn’t like him so much–then it wouldn’t matter. I could just make the smart decision to avoid him and go from there. But we were like magnets that couldn’t seem to keep away from one another. It was driving me crazy.
“Danica?” Almost as if I’d conjured him up, he turned up at my bedroom door once more, with a strange, unreadable expression plastered across his face. “Can I come in?”
My heart raced at the mere sight of him, and I felt my legs turn to jelly. Emotions swam crazily all over my body as he stepped nearer to me, allowing me to feel some of his warmth once more. There it was, that searing chemistry all over again. I started to run my hands through my hair nervously, wondering if he was here to tell me to get lost all over again.
What the hell was I going to say if he did? How would I take rejection again? I honestly didn’t know if I could. On the one hand, that would kill me. It would absolutely crush me to know that he didn’t want me anymore, and that there was no hope for us. But on the other hand, it would be good to know, either way. It would mean that I could start the much needed healing process.
“Are you okay?” I asked nervously, the tension becoming too much for me. I wanted him to just get it over, and say whatever the hell he wanted to say.
“Yeah…yeah,” he gasped, as if he was a little breathless. This was getting weirder by the moment.
Then, all of a sudden, we were kissing. I didn’t even know who made the first move, just that one minute we were stood near one another, awkwardly talking, and the next our lips had crashed together and his hands were all over my body. That magnetism had drawn us in once more, and this time, I wasn’t sure it would ever let us go.
It looked like our decision was finally made–I just hoped that we could stick to it. It was the choice that my heart craved like crazy, but the one my head knew was going to cause endless trouble. Not that it mattered, now that he was back here in my arms there was no way I could throw him off now. He just felt so good up against me. It felt right, like we were meant to be.
“What’s going on?” I finally panted against his lips, just trying to take a little bit of stock for a second. “What does this mean?”
Even in my haze of lust, I knew that I needed to figure that much out. I couldn’t keep going back and forth without discussing it anymore–we needed to be so much better at our communication. I wanted us both to be certain before we went any further.
“I want you,” he replied, rubbing his hands up and down my back. “I like you so much. I feel too much for you to just throw this away.”
That sentiment matched my feelings exactly–I just hoped that he really meant it. I prayed that we weren’t just about to go through all of this over again.
“But what about-”
“I know,” he jumped in quickly before I could reel off all the reasons why we shouldn’t be together. “But I don’t care anymore. I can’t keep away from you, and I think you feel the same.” I placed a kiss on his lips to prove that I did. “And I don’t care what anyone says about us. Especially not my dad.”
I felt overwhelmingly happy at his words. Was he really willing to fight for me against the rest of the world? That had to mean a lot. As we kissed some more, and his tongue snuck its way passed my lips, and I couldn’t help but groan a little in pleasure. No one had ever made me feel this way, and it was addictive. If he felt the same way about me then there was no way the rest of the world could tear us apart. We would be too strong.
“Really? But what about…” I couldn’t seem to stop myself. Luckily, Rhett was determined not to let me ruin this moment.
“I like you, that’s all there is to it.” He finally took a step back, which made me miss him like crazy, but at the same time it allowed me to think a little more clearly. “The only thing I think is that we should keep us a secret for now–just while we figure it out.”
I nodded, totally agreeing with him. Keeping another secret wasn’t exactly going to be a challenge for me, anyway. Not one single person suspected about our baby, and I’d been throwing up like crazy. Luckily, everyone in this home was too self-involved to pay any attention to me–especially at the moment.
“Are you sure?” he asked me, rubbing my arm. “I don’t want to be awful about this, I know that sounds a bit…”
“No, no, not at all.” I insisted. “I totally agree. It’s the best way to see where we are before people get in our way.” I smiled at him, allowing him to see that I was serious. “Our situation isn’t normal, so we need to be really careful before we go public.”
We both knew that we were going to cause a lot of trouble if people found out about us, but neither of us vocalized that. Instead, we returned to kissing–the one place we were both happy, where we felt safe.
After a while, I realized that I wanted him to stay in my bed with me. I couldn’t do anything physical with him under our parents’ roof–I was nowhere near ready for that–I just wanted his arms around me throughout the night. I needed him to be close to me, to ensure that our bond survived the night.
I was also scared that if he left, he would think things over and he would blow me off once more, and I couldn’t stand that.
“Will you stay?” I asked pleadingly. “Cuddle me?”
“Are you sure?” Panic instantly filled his expression. “What if we get caught?”
“We won’t,” I said, sounding much more confident than I really felt. “It’ll be fine. If you sneak out in the morning, no one will be any the wiser.” Of course, I was terrified, but not enough to send him away. In that moment, I really felt like it was worth the risk.
“If you’re sure,” he nodded, agreeing with me. Then he stepped tentatively towards me, and he wrapped me up for another kiss. “I’d love to spend the night with you.”
With that, we got into my bed, and we snuggled under the duvet, getting far too close as it was only a single bed. His entire body was temptingly pressed up against mine, but I wouldn’t cave to my desires. Not yet. Not until we were well and truly alone. I felt happier than I had for a very long time. Nothing could go wrong with something that felt so right. Surely?
“You’re amazing,” Rhett whispered into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. “I’m so glad that we’re here.”
“Me, too,” I agreed, really enjoying the warmth of him against my back. “I just hope that we can stay this way now. I hate the up and down.” I wasn’t saying it to make him feel guilty, but that was the effect it seemed to have all the same.
“I know, I feel
really bad. I don’t mean to keep pulling away, I just…” he trailed off, and I was desperate to know where that sentence was going.
“I know, it’s been really hard,” I tried to encourage him to open up. I felt like as soon as he opened up for me, the final barrier between us would be down and everything would be okay.
Well, until the baby conversation happened.
For a brief second, I considered spilling the beans, finally telling him the truth. The moment felt right and I truly believed that he would stick by me if I said it. But then he carried on talking, and the moment was lost.
“It’s awkward being here with my dad, who I’ve never had a good relationship with, and I think that’s been screwing with my head. It’s been making me act like a dickhead, and I never wanted to do anything to screw that up.” He was getting upset now, I could tell, and I didn’t need that at all, so I spun around to face him, until our noses were touching.
“It doesn’t matter now, we’re okay and that’s all that matters.” I pressed my lips up against his, and we kissed, creating a moment that was so romantic and magical. “We’re here, we’re together, we’ve decided to be together properly now, so nothing else is important.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” he grinned happily at me. “And, I’m so glad that we’re here together. I’m so glad that we’ve finally found a way to make this work.”
I wanted to say that we really had to make that stick now, but I couldn’t find the way to vocalize that. I just didn’t want to ruin the mood, so instead I continued to gaze lovingly into his eyes. Those hazelnut, gorgeous eyes that could do no wrong. After everything we’d been through, I would still forgive him because it felt like we were taking the long road around to our happiness.
“I like you,” he started, and my heart began to pound. “I even…” He coughed awkwardly, “I even think I could be falling for you.”
Okay, so he hadn't professed his undying love for me, but it was close enough. A rush of heat washed over me, and I swam in the heat from Rhett’s sun for the time being. I knew that it was going to take us both a while to say those three intense words, but at the same time we were both aware that they were there.
“I feel the same,” I grinned. “I’m so glad that you’re in my life. I’m so glad that I met you, and that we started on this crazy journey.”
“One day, it’ll be easy,” he insisted. “One day. we’ll be looking back on all that drama and missing it.” Then we both burst into hysterical giggles. The lure of an easy life was too much–I didn’t think we would ever miss all of this.
We continued to look at one another, until the exhaustion started to consume me, and I felt my eyes getting heavy. But because he was the last thing I saw, he infiltrated my dreams, too, leaving me happier than I’d ever been before.
Chapter 26
Rhett
As I got dressed in the morning of the big day, I felt really anxious. I was guilty that I hadn't done anything to find the truth out about my dad to help Lyla, but I was also excited to see where the day would lead.
Danica was the maid of honour, whereas I hadn't been asked to be in the wedding party at all. My dad’s best man was some boring dickhead that he worked with, but I didn’t mind. I didn’t want to be in it–it was hard enough just being there. I was happy to just watch Danica walk down the aisle in the dress that promised to be amazing. I would get a much better view from the sidelines anyway, and it wouldn’t be obvious to everyone else that I was only staring at her.
The gorgeous, luxurious hotel that our parents had decided to hold the ceremony and reception in was amazing. It was a real luxurious, five star type. Some guests from further afield were staying there, but not us. They made the decision to return home after the big night, and I was happy for that to happen. There was nowhere that I’d rather spend the night than in bed with Danica.
We’d been hanging out at night, just the two of us, and it was amazing. It was really giving us the chance that we needed to connect and to allow our relationship to grow. The fact that nothing physical was happening actually made it better because there was nothing getting in the way of us exploring one another. I felt like I was getting to know a side of Danica that she didn’t show the rest of the world–and that made me feel extra special.
For a brief second, I considered calling my mom for a boost of confidence, but I thought better of it. I didn’t want to make her feel bad, although she had spent our last few conversations telling me that she didn’t care. I knew her better, and I knew this couldn’t be any fun for her.
“Come on, Rhett,” I muttered to myself, hearing the cars pulling up outside. “Let’s just do this.”
I quickly peeked out of the window, just to get a look at the vehicles we would be travelling in, and I got an unexpected glance of Danica. She took my breath away–the blue dress she was wearing clung to her body like a dream. It dipped in and out of her curves, swishing at her feet in a way that looked beautiful.
She was gorgeous, and she was mine.
I absolutely couldn’t believe it.
“Rhett,” someone finally called up the stairs. “It’s time to go.”
So I raced down the stairs, ready to face the day of terror.
***
Surprisingly, the wedding was amazing. The décor was breathtakingly beautiful, and I couldn’t help but be impressed. Sure, I knew that it had taken a lot of money to get it that way, but it was impressive all the same. The fact that Danica had done a lot of the planning took away any resentment that I might normally feel.
I hated to admit it, but they had all done such a good job that I even started to see my dad in a different light. As he said his vows, with tears shining in his eyes and love plastered across his expression, I started to think that maybe I hadn't always been right about him. Maybe he had mellowed; maybe Lyla had been the one to change him.
It was an uncomfortable revelation, but I was experiencing it all the same.
Lyla looked absolutely beautiful in her long, elegant, ivory gown. She was radiant, and the feelings she had for my father shone through, causing me to doubt myself even further.
But for me, Danica was the attention stealer of the day. She looked phenomenal in that show-stopping gown, and my heart raced with excitement at the mere sight of her. I was filled with love, and it was a confusing sensation. I still struggled with the guilt combined with the intensity of my emotions, but it was lessening by the minute. Sure, things had taken another turn, which left us in an even worse situation, but in the light of the day, that didn’t really matter.
As the day started to drift into evening, and it became time for the reception, I was ready for a drink. I’d enjoyed the day, but I needed something to numb my feelings a little bit.
Under any other circumstances, I would be able to spend this romantic day with the girl who was rapidly becoming the love of my life, but of course, it wasn’t like that. I had to keep my distance, and I would only be able to cope with that if I was at least a little bit tipsy.
As the champagne bubbled down my throat, I started to loosen up and relax a little bit. I spotted Danica across the dance floor, and I instantly made a beeline for her. We might not be able to kiss and cuddle like we’d been doing in private for the past few days, but we could hang out. I enjoyed her company as much as anything else, so at least I could have that. I needed her if I was going to get through this night without going a little bit crazy.
She turned to face me, almost as if she could sense my presence and her face broke out into a heart-stopping grin.
“You look all right,” I teased, shrugging my shoulders. “That dress is okay.”
“Oh, this old thing?” She laughed, swishing it around her body. I was overcome by the urge to pull her in for the kiss, but of course I couldn’t. “Why thank you very much; I just threw it on for the occasion!” I smiled secretly to myself. Danica really was beautiful, and I was lucky that she was even giving me the time of day. It might not have been an
ideal situation, but it was ours, and that made it perfect.
“You don’t look too bad yourself.” She ran her hand over the jacket of my suit, and I felt flutters of desire float through my body. The look she gave me suggested that she was feeling the same way, and I wondered for a second if we could sneak off somewhere for some secret time alone.
“Ooh, hello, you two,” some distant relative or family friend drunkenly swung her arms over mine and Danica’s shoulders. “That was a lovely wedding wasn’t it?”
“Erm, yes.” Neither of us really knew who this woman was, but that didn’t matter to her. I guessed that was a negative side effect of weddings–everyone wanted to chat to the wedding party, no matter what.
“Are you excited to be a family now?” she slurred. “It’s lovely to see how well you get along.”
“Yeah,” I grinned secretly. “It is nice.” Danica laughed, but the woman didn’t catch on. “We have a lot of fun.”
If only she knew!
But the joke quickly backfired when she steered Danica away from me to meet her great nephew or something–someone she thought she would “really get along with.” My heart sunk as she vanished into the crowd.
This was the downside to keeping us a secret–people trying to set us up, or assuming that we were nothing more than stepbrother and sister. This was going to be harder than I first thought. I finally started to really think about our future, and it was really difficult.
I just had to hope that it would be worth it in the end.
I headed to the bar and I grabbed myself another drink. It was going to take a lot of champagne to get through this. Especially if I was going to be forced to watch someone else flirting with Danica when there was nothing I could do about it.
I glanced around the place, but the woman and Danica were nowhere to be found. It was just other random family members and friends that I didn’t really know. I really didn’t want to talk to any of them, not even for five minutes, but of course I was going to be forced to, no matter what I wanted.