by Naomi Niles
***
Despite myself, I actually ended up having a really good evening. I found myself introduced to numerous family members that I hadn't met before, which was more fun than I ever thought it would be. It turned out that my fear and dread had been totally misplaced. They were all really welcoming, which gave me the impression yet again that I was the one who had always been in the wrong. I had held myself back, just blindly hating my dad, and maybe I had been wrong for that.
James would have a lot to say on that subject! So would my mom. I was almost dreading going home to speak to them after everything I’d said.
By the time the night was almost over, I finally spotted Danica once more, and she was sitting alone, sipping a flute of water thoughtfully.
In my buzzing state, I suddenly had a great idea, we might not be able to be open in our affections, but that didn’t mean that we had to avoid one another all night. Plus, I wanted to wash the memory of someone’s great grandson off her mind; I wanted her to only be thinking about me.
I stalked confidently across the dance floor, knowing that I was about to put a big smile back on that beautiful face. “Hey,” I said to her, causing her to flick those big, blue eyes up towards me. “Come and dance with me.” I extended my hand to her, blocking out the rest of the world. In that moment, I really didn’t care what they thought. It didn’t matter to me one bit.
Danica shot me a knowing, flirtatious glance before almost recoiling in on herself as reality hit once more. “We can’t; you know that.” She was clearly shocked that I would even suggest it, which was silly. After all, why wouldn’t we dance?
“It’s only a dance,” I insisted happily. “We can’t get in trouble for that!” She still looked hesitant, so I continued convincing her. “We’re the only ones without dates here.” I wasn’t sure if that was true, but that didn’t matter. I just needed her to relent, and to do the thing that she so clearly wanted to do. “And you know you want to.”
She glanced around, trying to see if anyone was paying us any attention, before realizing that they weren’t. Then she relented and stood up, finally wrapping her fingers around mine.
I tugged her lightly onto the dance floor, then wrapped my arms around her as we swayed to a slow song that I didn’t recognize. It was some song from the seventies or eighties I assumed–nothing I would have heard of. Everything else melted away; all my fears and stress as I finally found myself in the place I wanted to be. I tried not to melt too much into her embrace, because I didn’t want to give us away, but it was hard.
However the rest of the world saw it, this moment would be memorable to me and Danica. We would never forget being wrapped up together like this, even if everyone else did. I thought that we might look back on this as a defining moment in our relationship, even if it was during the part where we were a secret.
I felt an overwhelming sense of happiness, and I knew that despite how challenging it was going to be, we would be able to get through anything.
Somehow.
Chapter 27
Danica
My heart raced painfully as I swayed against Rhett. In that moment, the rest of the world just fell away and all I could focus on was him. His strong, muscular body was holding me upright, and it felt so good to be around him. Every so often, I became so involved in the moment, that I almost forgot myself completely and leaned in to kiss him. But luckily, the odd glimpse of all the wedding guests was enough to ground me and remind me what was at risk here.
At least I had him–I had to remember that. It might have been difficult, but it could have always been so much worse.
I still felt like there was so much unsaid between us, which was hard, but right now we just needed to see what we could be. I only wanted Rhett to be with me if that was what he wanted to be, not because he felt obligated to, and if I mentioned the baby now, that thought would always be at the back of my mind.
As the song drew to an unfortunate close, and Rhett’s arms fell away from my shoulders, I felt cold and sad to see him go, but I knew that it was for the best. If he stayed hugging me for too much longer, it would be weird and suspicious. Right now, people weren’t paying us too much attention, but we could very easily change that.
“I better go and find Mom,” I murmured to him, trying to ignore the tears that threatened to make an appearance. I was only sad because I wished things between us could be easier, not because I wished we hadn’t danced–that was the one true good memory that I would take away from this.
Not that the rest of it had been bad. In fact, it had gone amazingly, but it would only really be this that I remembered. “But I’ll see you later?”
I was of course referring to him coming to my room later that night. Our agreement at the moment was working perfectly; it made getting through the days so much easier. It meant that I didn’t miss Rhett too much, which was great–we could behave ourselves during the day. It really was the perfect–and only–way for us to get some alone time together.
Our secret little relationship was going surprisingly well despite everything, and although we hadn't managed to find a way to have sex yet, I felt closer to him than ever. Things were really starting to feel like they could be okay. I was truly beginning to believe that things were going to work out for us.
At least, until I finally did make the decision to reveal my pregnancy…
“I’ll see you later.” Rhett looked just as disappointed as I felt as we moved away from one another, creating a distance that we didn’t like, but we both knew that we would be okay. We would be back in our own little bubble of happiness soon enough. We just needed to be patient.
After what felt like a whole minute of intense eye contact, I spun around and turned my back to him. Then I pushed my way through the crowds, trying to organize my expression to appear normal once more. People yelled hello at me, and I smiled back, but I made no effort to stop and talk to anyone. Not now, not until I had some fresh air. I needed to calm my entire body down before it gave us away. I felt like Rhett was still all over me, and I really didn’t need the world to see that.
As I burst through the doors and into the cool refreshing air, I found the one person that I actually wanted to talk to stood there, looking about as hot as I felt in her oversized dress. “Oh hi, Mom,” I exclaimed happily. “I was looking for you!” I tried to pull her in for a hug, but we couldn’t quite manage it over both of our dresses. “Are you okay?”
“Oh, I am,” she grinned serenely, looking happier than I’d ever seen her. “I’m having such an amazing day; I’m just hot and a little tired.”
I laughed and nodded. “Me, too.” It felt nice to be able to freely admit how exhausted I was for once. The pregnancy had been taking it out of me, and today I actually had an excuse for it.
“But it’s been so amazing. I need to tell Victoria what a good job she’s done.” I saw her at the beginning of the day, but more recently the wedding planner hadn't been anywhere to be seen. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was secretly dealing with all kinds of disasters behind the scenes somewhere.
“Everyone is enjoying themselves, aren’t they?” A bout of self-doubt seemed to plague my mother, which I instantly dispelled.
“Oh, Mom, everyone is having a great time.” And they really were–I hadn't seen any drama or anyone looking bored. She couldn’t have asked for a better day. “The hotel has been done up amazingly, and the entertainment has run really smoothly. I just can’t wait to see the wedding photos!” The backdrop for the pictures was absolutely breath-taking–and the photographer was great too. I wasn’t sure where they’d managed to find someone so amazing.
“Where’s Brad?” I suddenly realized that I hadn't seen him for hours. Shouldn’t he be glued to my mom’s side on their wedding day?
“Oh, he went to the bathroom, but he probably got stuck talking to someone. You know what he’s like.” I nodded, even though I really didn’t. He always seemed like quite a quiet man to me, but of course, I’d spent
minimal time around the man. I guessed that would be something that would have to change, now that he was officially my stepfather. At least, until I returned to college and I got my own life back.
“You and Rhett looked sweet on the dance floor,” she teased, nudging me playfully. My pulse rate instantly kicked up. Did she know something? Was she trying to tell me that we’d been more obvious than I thought?
“Oh, erm…” I laughed uncomfortably, wishing that I could think of something to say. Something that could dispel any rumours before they began.
“It’s a shame that he’s going to be your stepbrother!” Oh God, this couldn’t be going any worse. “He’s such a nice guy. I’m so glad that we all get on a little better now; it’s really nice. We’re going to be a lovely family.”
Family. I had to assume that she was just talking, and that she didn’t really mean anything by it. It was my own guilt making me freak out; I was going to have to calm that down if I wanted to keep everything to myself. Mom wasn’t normally one to beat around the bush, especially not for big issues, so I was going to have to chill out for the time being.
“Anyway, I better go back inside,” she finally smiled at me and turned around. “People will be wanting to speak to me, I’m sure. Who knew my wedding day was going to end up being so stressful?” She laughed a little awkwardly, and I half-heartedly joined in, simply because I felt like that was what she needed me to do.
“Okay, I’ll join you in a little bit.” I still needed some air, and I also wanted a bit of time alone to recover from that comment. If I was going to come across as normal, then I was going to have some time alone. “I’m just going to cool down.”
As she left me behind, my mind started to reel. It had been hard enough to avoid alcohol all night without raising any suspicions, and I wondered how much longer I could keep all of this to myself.
I was convinced that I was already starting to get a tiny baby bump–even if it was only obvious to me–and I was terrified of people realizing the truth before I was ready to admit it out loud. I’d been so busy trying to conceal everything that it was only occurring to me now that I could have missed something somewhere along the way.
Mom and her innocuous comments had sent me back into a paranoid mess.
Although as my mind thought on, it began to wander into a very different, unexpected territory. In the haze of the romantic wedding day, I had actually started to imagine myself and Rhett being together, being happy, and having the baby, or just being a normal, real couple.
I started to wonder if our parents could ever find it in their hearts to accept us, despite the weirdness of the situation. After all, we weren’t really doing anything wrong. We hadn't grown up together as brother and sister, we weren’t really related, and we met before we knew. But would they ever be able to see it in that way? Or would it cause everything to explode and fall apart?
I thought Mom might come around eventually, after a brief adjustment period, but I wasn’t too sure about Brad. I didn’t know him well enough at all to make that judgment, and I felt suspicious of him after all that he’d said about Rhett. I didn’t think he could be an open-minded, accepting man, no matter what we did, which was a worry. How much would my mom be influenced by him and his opinions? I just wasn’t sure.
I decided that I would ask Rhett later on to see what he thought about it all. After all, he knew his dad much better than I did. I might even broach the subject of their relationship once more, to try and find out more about it. It was still a totally mystery to me, and I hadn't felt brave enough to broach it properly yet. It felt like scary territory that could end up going badly. I was scared that discussing it might even make him leave.
But not anymore; I didn’t think anything would cause him to run away this time. We were in it together, and that was that.
After a while, I realized that I couldn’t hide out there forever, and that I needed to get back inside before my presence was missed. I wasn’t sure how much I was going to be involved in the tidy up after this wedding, and although I really didn’t want to do that, I knew it would be my duty as maid of honour if need be.
I pushed the door open, and wandered back inside, and instantly noticed that the crowd had dispersed a little bit. That had to mean that the evening was slowly drawing to a close, which meant that I would be in my own bed soon enough. Of course, nothing could happen yet again because our parents weren’t going on their honeymoon just yet, but that didn’t matter. Being by Rhett’s side would be good enough.
As I scanned my eyes across the place, I realized that I couldn’t spot him, but that didn’t matter. He’d likely been dragged off by yet another relative to discuss what a lovely boy he was.
I just hoped that by being alone, I wouldn’t be taken to meet yet another boring guy that someone assumed would be perfect for me. It was hard to be polite, when I just wanted to be left alone, but what excuse did I have not to even meet anyone? If I even mentioned the word boyfriend as a reason not to, it would spread like wildfire and everyone would be on my back. I’d never had a serious relationship, so of course it would spark intrigue, and that would be even harder to handle.
Only a few more hours. I could get through this. I was sure I could.
Chapter 28
Rhett
As I walked off the dance floor and away from Danica, I felt my heart sink into my shoes. I knew we would get to be alone later, but that felt too long away. I needed her in my arms, and it really wasn’t fair that we couldn’t be that way. I knew it had to be that way, but when it was external circumstances dictating us, it just got to me from time to time.
It also reminded me that I’d screwed up more than once by messing Danica around. If my father and this wedding weren’t an issue, none of that would have happened.
I raced to the bathroom, wanting a moment to myself to sort myself out before heading to the bar for another drink, but of course, I wasn’t going to be so lucky. Although I’d expected there to be others in there, the only person that I really didn’t want to be around was the one that I found myself faced with.
My dad was in there alone, looking angrier than I’d ever seen him before. It was weird, seeing him there in his tuxedo, red faced with rage–a totally contrast to the rest of the day. That serene, romantic look that was on his face when he spoke his vows was nowhere to be seen.
Oh God, what had happened? Did I miss something? Had I been so wrapped up in Danica that I missed something drastic going on? My heart raced as I tried to work out what had put him in such a bad mood, but I couldn’t come up with anything. As far as I was aware, everyone had been on their best behaviour all day.
“You okay, Dad?” I asked, but he didn’t reply. He simply continued to stare into space with that odd expression on his face. “The wedding is going well,” I finished lamely, already knowing that was the wrong thing to say. Somehow I could already sense that wasn’t what he wanted to talk about, but it was too late. I’d already started down that route, and there was only one way to continue. “Congratulations.”
His flaming eyes finally met mine, and a cold realization hit me. I was the issue–somehow I’d managed to do something wrong. But what? I scammed my brain, but I couldn’t come up with anything. I’d mostly kept to myself all day, unless there was some family member that he didn’t want me talking to. But I wasn’t psychic, so how the hell was I supposed to know that? He should have warned me in advance if that was going to be the case.
I opened my mouth to speak, but my words fell apart at my lips. As he stared me down, a realization hit me. For the first time in my entire life, I actually felt afraid of him. My body was trembling lightly, and my mouth had run dry. My dad had made me feel many, many emotions in my life, but terror was never one of them. Now, for some reason, it was all of me. I was absolutely petrified.
“You,” he growled, walking towards me as I backed into a corner. As the words burst from his chest, that fear became all consuming, even worse than it was before
. I just had no idea what was about to happen, and that was scary as hell. “I told you before that you’re exactly like me.”
“What?” I gasped out in surprise. What the hell was he going on about? We’d already had this argument, and he hadn’t managed to convince me that he was right, so why was he still going on about it? What did he hope to achieve?
“You just couldn’t stay away from her, could you?” His fists were clenched, and I started to feel like he might actually hit me. “You will not ruin this marriage for me, whatever your fucking plans are. I won’t have it, you little prick.” He wasn’t yelling, but he might as well have been for the effect that his words were having on me.
“You’ve spent your whole life trying to make things difficult for me, and I won’t have it again. I will not have Danica and Lyla dragged into your stupid games. If you have a problem with me, then take it up with me. Don’t involve innocent bystanders.”
Guilt flooded through me as I realized he thought that I was a threat. Of course, destroying his marriage had been my original plan, but it wasn’t anymore. Danica had distracted me, and now it didn’t seem worth my time.
It was done now anyway; they were married, what the hell could I do? Why was he so worried about the impact I could have on his life? This was the most interest that he’d ever shown in me, and it was completely in the wrong way.
“What are you talking about?” I needed to stall him, to think of something descent to stay to dispel this before it got too out of control. Questions felt like the best way to do that.
“Don’t play dumb,” he snapped, his face right in mine now. “You know exactly what I mean. Don’t think I can’t see what you’re up to.”