Lovers' Dance

by Carr, K

  The annoyance on his face faded away as he watched me. I held a hand out to him and he took it. Seconds later, he was on his feet and I was topping up my quota of ‘Matt hugs’.

  “We’re not going to fight anymore today,” he whispered in my ear. “But keep your schedule free on Friday, because we will be having words, poppet.”

  I nodded into the crook of his neck—being on tiptoes gained me access—and I kissed his collarbone before pulling away. I would deal with Friday when it came. Surviving Wednesday was my main concern.

  We trooped back into the cramped dining room and the conversation flowed easily, bar the threatening glances and tone Matt had whenever addressing Dante. He was possessive, and I didn’t know why. Then, I remembered that witch ex-girlfriend of his, and the way random women would sex him with their eyes whenever we were in public. I could understand it a little. The green-eyed monster dwelled within me, too.

  By the time Nathan said he was taking Bella home, I hadn’t figured out how to convince Matt to give me my space. Bella was beaming at us, giving hugs to each of my friends and her posh voice got posher it seemed when she was buzzed. She’d been in the brownies again, and her perfect messy bun was more messy than bun, her cheeks had a rosy tint to them and she was eye humping Nathan. I tried my hardest not to catch the secret glimpses between them. Because Bella had driven here, Nathan was taking her car and leaving his for Matt. And seven became five. After an hour of Sol interrogating Matt in the nicest possible way—nice for Sol that is; there was mention of torture thrown in between her questions—I slipped upstairs to nab Matt’s discarded tie and jacket, then came back down with the clothing slung over my arm. Not very subtle.

  Matt bit the corner of his lower lip. He did it out of frustration, but ended up looking sexy as hell. Sol looked over at me and mouthed “Hot stuff.” Yeah. Wasn’t he just?

  “Everyone say bye bye to Matt,” I said walking over to where he sat on the couch. My friends bid him goodbye, and I tapped my foot slightly. Matt sighed and reluctantly stood up, hands held out for his jacket and tie.

  “Walk me out?” he asked.

  I nodded and slid my hand into his. We headed for the front door. Matt paused to glance at my friends, his gaze resting on Dante.

  “Palmer,” he called, and Dante twisted his head, eyebrow raised in question. Oh crap. What was Matt going to say? “Your imprint better be on that sofa, and not Madi’s bed, when next I come by. Sol, Bret, nice meeting you both. Have a good flight home.”

  He flashed them a killer smile and tugged me forward. I rolled my eyes as he opened the front door and we walked out together. My lack of shoes had gone unnoticed by Matt. He juggled his jacket on his arm, while plucking Nathan’s car keys from his pocket.

  “Matt,” I murmured on approach to the flashy car. “I’m sorry for not—” The words stuck in my throat.

  Matt waited silently, giving me a much-needed moment to get my thoughts straight. When that moment turned into a minute, he pressed quietly, “Sorry for what, poppet?”

  “Not being the perfect girlfriend,” I muttered, before looking away from his intense gaze.

  Matt sighed and reached over to grasp my chin, tilting my head back in his direction. “Perfection is highly overrated, poppet. If I wanted the perfect girlfriend, I would be with someone like Louisa.”

  My eyes narrowed at that comment. Urgh. Louisa, previously known as Aphrodite, now named Medusa in my mind. “I’m far from perfect, Matt. Today proved that.”

  “Yes,” Matt agreed with the tiniest of frowns. “But we’ll discuss that on Friday. How are your friends getting to Heathrow tomorrow?” He changed the subject, but the frown on his lips didn’t disappear. I was beginning to dread this upcoming Friday.

  “I’m driving—”

  “No, you’re not.” Matt cut me off in a tone that brooked no argument. “I’ll send a car around for your use tomorrow. It’s highly improbable you’ll be under the limit by the time they need to leave. If you get stopped, you’ll be arrested and it’ll be in the papers.”

  I didn’t think I would be over the limit tomorrow, but better safe than sorry, and they did have an early flight.

  “You have a point there, but you don’t need to send a car. We can get a taxi.”

  Matt scoffed. “Heading to Heathrow on a weekday? It’ll cost a fortune. The car will be here at five am. Sol said their flight is at nine, right? Afterward, he’ll take you to work and bring you back home when you’re finished at the studio.”

  It would have taken too much effort to disagree with him, so I didn’t. “Thanks, hon.”

  We exchanged silent stares, then I went up on tiptoes to kiss him square on the lips. “I’ll be better next week. I promise, Matt. I won’t embarrass you like this again. Will you let Nathan and Bella know I’m not usually this way, please?”

  Matt pulled back. I thought I would have been able to kiss that frown off his lips. “I told you before, poppet. You could never embarrass me. Now, go back inside. You’ve only got socks on. I’ll call you later; answer your mobile.”

  I nodded slowly, then walked away. When I stood in front the door, I turned to see Matt watching me.

  “I love you, Matthew Bradley,” I yelled at the top of my voice. Ha! That would embarrass him.

  Matt looked around startled, and rubbed a hand across his lower face. He shook his head and sent me a wide smile, mouthing “Love you, too.”

  I waved as he got in his friend’s car and drove off. He had seen me acting a fool on my birthday and he hadn’t run a mile. Maybe, just maybe, Matt was potentially my forever man. So what if our relationship hadn’t hit the six month mark yet and we had a lot to learn about each other? I walked in my house and three pairs of eyes swivelled in my direction.

  “He’s nice, MSG,” was the first thing out of Sol’s mouth. Her expression was solemn, almost sad. “But he’s going to break your heart. As hot as he is, he’s way too old for you, MSG.”

  I shut my door, shrugging as I peeled off my socks and flung them aside. “He won’t break my heart, and he’s not too old, Sol.”

  “He better not,” Bret grumbled. “Or else I’ll hunt him down. I don’t care how rich he is.”

  Dante stayed silent, eyes following my movements as I sat down next to Sol on the couch.

  “I’m going to miss you guys,” I said, slinging my arm over Sol’s shoulders.

  She pulled me into a hug. “You guys are coming home for Thanksgiving, right? That’s only a little over a month, MSG.”

  She was right. I’d be seeing them soon. For now, I’d enjoy the little time we had left. Dante uncoiled his lithe body from off the floor, stretching. Both Sol and I stared in appreciation. Beauty deserved admiration.

  “Time for me to rustle up peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.” he said with a warm glance my way. I grinned and nodded. It was tradition.

  Bret slid off the couch, seemed he was going to help Dante. “I’ll make the Kool-Aid. You two are weird. How long have you been doing this ritual?”

  Dante shrugged. “Since Madi was seven. Shit. When you look at how long we’ve known each other—”

  “You get less time for manslaughter,” Sol piped up with a chuckle.

  The four of us fell silent for a few seconds, exchanging looks of friendship, of love.

  Damn. I freaking adored my people.

  Dante and Bret started towards the door, with Bret casually throwing over his slim shoulder, “Now your rich man has gone, MSG, I hope you know that ass of yours has five more lashes due.”

  I flipped him off and snuggled against Sol. Five more lashes? No biggie. I’d take a whipping from Bret any day. From any one of them. For any one of them. I loved my friends.

  EIGHTEEN

  EDDIE AND I had finished a complicated pas de deux, an exquisite piece of choreography Dante and I had worked on especially for our upcoming main production. The entrée began the way the coda ended, vibrant yet achingly beautiful. The adagio we needed to mesh be
tter on, but our solo variations…goddamn, it was the stuff dreams were made of. Entrée, adagio, two variations and the coda. My pas de deux with Eddie rocked. Usually a pas de deux took place between the two main principals, but Dante and I had decided that to truly convey what we wanted in The Ice Queen and Princess, we needed to create that physical connection between the four main characters of the show: Bri, Eddie, Dante and I.

  “Sweet cheeks, the adagio needs work,” Dante called from across the stage where he and Bri paused in their movements. I nodded, exhausted, and hurting in places I didn’t know existed on my body. But back to the pas de deux. The one I had with Dante would be the show stopper, the one that would prove to everyone what we were capable of. It was going to be epic. All I had to do was make sure we sold enough tickets and got the right people in to review the production. I prayed silently it would be a sell-out. Oh, man, I prayed.

  “How late are we staying?” Eddie asked, rubbing a tired hand across his face. I looked over at Dante, my mouth curling down at the edges. Tomorrow was the day I dreaded above all others. My face hurt from trying to keep it empty, to not reveal the growing terror inside me. The bottomless pit of fearful memories. My child-like screams of despair. The battle with that fucking seatbelt that held me prisoner while my beloved parents died before my eyes. God. I didn’t want the nightmare. Hence, the intense dance session today, my forced wakefulness…Sunday night had been the last time I slept. If I drove myself into the ground, to the point of sheer exhaustion, then, tomorrow after the trip to the cemetery, when I crashed there would be no dreams. My mind would be too fatigued to dream. And my shameful secret would leave me in peace.

  “Why don’t you guys head home?” I offered with a small smile. “It’s what? Nine?”

  “Ten thirty, Madi,” Bri advised, stretching her upper body. “We’ve been going at it since nine this morning.”

  I sighed and nodded. After taking Bret and Marie-Sol to the airport, Matt’s driver had brought Dante and me to work. I think he was still parked outside my building in the limo. I made a mental note to ask Matt if he owned the damned thing or whether it was a rental. It would be embarrassing if he owned a freaking limo. Where would he keep the damned thing?

  “Okay,” Dante agreed, coming closer to me. “You two head home. Madi and I will lock up. Eddie, I need you to run the practice tomorrow with the others. Madi and I won’t be in.”

  Bri chewed her lower lip, eyes peering worriedly at me. In the three years my dance company had been running, Dante and I always went AWOL on the fifteenth of October. No one knew why, and they were too polite to ask. When the stupid media had found out about my relationship with Matt, my business—my painful business had been splashed across the papers and the Internet. Their deaths were no longer my private pain. Now everyone I worked with knew what the fifteenth of October meant to me.

  I turned away from them to grab my discarded face towel at the edge of the stage. I could get through it. I would get through it. But it felt like being on a merry-go-round. There was no way to get off the ride, even when you felt sick from too much cotton candy and soda pop, even when you screamed at the operator to please stop. My life felt like a merry-go-round.

  Eddie and Bri said their good nights and, with pitying backward glances at me, they walked off the stage.

  “Want to free style, sweet cheeks?” Dante asked quietly.

  I shrugged, cracking open my half-drunk bottle of water and taking a few sips. I couldn’t remember if I’d eaten today. Ah well.

  “Sure, D. Whatever you want to do, I’m game,” I replied. My mouth widened by reflex, the little fake smile I’d been wearing most of the day back in place.

  “What time do you want to go?” he asked softly.

  I shrugged. “I don’t care.”

  He nodded, the pity on his face was so raw I had to turn away. We fell silent for a few minutes, then Dante came up behind me and rested his hands over my aching shoulders, slowly working the knots out.

  “It’s one day, sweet cheeks. One day of the year that’ll be over before you know it.”

  “It was over before I knew it,” I mumbled back. “It was…so quick, but it felt like, like forever. I remember her, Dante. I remember her calling to me. Everyone said, they all told me that they died instantly, that they didn’t suffer.” My throat closed up, but I forced the words out. “But I knew the truth. They didn’t die instantly. I heard her call out to me, and I couldn’t get to her. Daddy was—I couldn’t get to them. I couldn’t save them.” My voice trailed off into a hoarse whisper.

  Dante spun me around and held me close. “You were six, Madison DuMont. It wasn’t your fault. Goddamn it, Madi.” His voice got gruff with pain, pain for me. “When are you gonna get it through that thick skull of yours? It wasn’t your fault. You were a child. What the fuck could you do? Huh?”

  “Save them,” I whispered into his chest and he hugged me tighter. We stood like that for a long while until my cell peeled out in the silent auditorium. Normally it was on silent, but Matt had made me put the ringer on. I knew it was probably him, either him or my aunt. The only other person who would call me at this time of night was holding me in his arms.

  With a tired sigh I pulled away and limped over to the edge of the stage to get my cell.

  “Hey,” I said in greeting.

  “Madi, you’re still at the studio.” Matt got straight to the point.

  “How do you know that?” I asked in surprise.

  “I called Daniel to check if he dropped you home, and he advised me he was out front of your premises,” Matt replied in a carefully bland voice. He obviously didn’t want me to hear in his tone how he felt at the moment.

  “I told him he could leave hours ago, Matt. I didn’t expect him to hang around for this length of time,” I said in a voice as empty as his.

  “He’s left now, and I’m on my way there to pick you up. I should arrive in twenty minutes.”

  “Matt—”

  “Twenty minutes, poppet. I’ll see you soon. Bye.” He ended the call.

  “You okay, sweet cheeks?” Dante asked as I stared at the cell in my hand. I nodded slowly, too tired to care about Matt’s domineering behaviour. Too tired to care about anything.

  “Matt’s on his way here. Guess we won’t be staying late after all. Can you get the stage lights? I—I’m going to change into my sneakers, then wait out front to let him in. I’ll check the back locks and windows first though.”

  With sadness etched on his handsome features, Dante nodded in agreement. “Okay, sweet cheeks.”

  I walked off the stage feeling numb. I liked the numbness, it made everything easier to deal with. I wandered around my building, going through the motions as I checked the back entrance and made sure the windows were secured. By the time I walked to the front entrance, Matt was impatiently knocking on the glass door.

  “You look terrible,” were the first words out his mouth when he strode in, closing the door behind him.

  “Gee, thanks, hon,” I muttered with my fake smile in place. “Every woman wants to hear that from her boyfriend.”

  Matt frowned at me as he pulled me into his arms. His clothes were cold from the late night air, but his body heat seeped through, mingling with mine. “It’s the truth, poppet. You look exhausted. Did you not get much sleep last night?”

  I shook my head against his chest, allowing myself a moment of comfort, a moment of peace. It was scary. Being in his arms brought me peace.

  “I’ve not slept since Sunday night,” I replied closing my eyes for a second as I inhaled his scent deeply.

  “What?” Matt jerked back, a hand rising to cup my chin while he peered intently at my weary face. “Why in the bloody—”

  “Hey, man,” Dante said, coming out from the hallway. “How’s things?”

  Matt tore his gaze from my face to look at Dante. “Fine, thank you.” He turned back to me. “I’m taking you home right now. Where’s your stuff?”

  “In
the office,” I replied, reluctantly pulling away from his strong arms. “I’ll go get it.”

  “Okay, poppet,” Matt said, gaze intent on my face. His jaw clenched for a moment, then he looked over at Dante. “Do you need me to drop you off somewhere?”

  “Matt,” I began, knowing he wouldn’t be pleased, but too damned numb to stress over it. “Dante’s staying over at mine tonight. He always—” I broke off, giving Dante helpless eyes.

  He ran a hand over his braided hair and smiled at me. Matt, always observant, saw Dante’s and my non-verbal exchange.

  “Fine, whatever. Let’s go,” Matt said curtly.

  I rubbed the back of my neck and moved towards Dante. The both of us headed back down the hallway to our office. Dante eyed the flowers on the desk. They’d been delivered earlier and I couldn’t bring myself to touch them, not yet.

  “Where’s your stuff, D?” I asked, while grabbing my bag.

  “In the changing rooms.”

  I nodded, glancing at the two large bouquets of flowers with trepidation. “I’ll go get it. Can you take those out to the car for me?”

  “Of course, sweet cheeks,” he murmured.

  I turned on my heels and exited the office, leaving Dante to deal with the flowers. Inside the changing rooms, I took a second to breathe. In and out. My eyes wandered over the medium-sized room. It could do with a lick of paint, maybe new doors on the lockers. That damp patch on the ceiling definitely needed sorting. I hated the flooring in here, maybe in the near future it could be changed. I ran through all the jobs that needed doing in my head. The list was long and perpetually growing. The running costs for my building was immense, and the mortgage on this place…shit. Thinking about the amount I owed made me feel sick to the stomach. I held onto the worry, clutched it to me like a favourite toy. It took my mind off other things. Holding both our bags over my shoulder, I flicked the lights off and closed the door behind me.

  “Maybe frosty white,” I muttered to myself walking down the hallway. The walls needed painting here, too. I stopped, almost in the reception area, and straightened the picture on the wall before fishing the keys out and heading for the door. The guys were outside waiting for me. Their outlines through the glass door stood feet apart, both turned away from each other. I sighed and turned off the main lights, then locked up.