by Caitlyn Dare
"Where are we going?" she asks once she's calmed down.
"Hmm..."
"What do you get up to for fun in this town?"
"I… uh..." I try to think of what we've done that's been fun here that doesn't involve getting drunk or being at a party. "I know just the place."
I drive us toward the ocean and pull up in the parking lot closest to the arcade.
"Come on then," I encourage when she remains in her seat as if she's changed her mind. My heart sinks, thinking that she's going to tell me that this was a mistake and demand I take her back. But thankfully, after a second, those aren’t the words that fall from her lips.
"We can’t go in there like this," she says, looking down at her uniform.
"Yeah, you're probably..." My words trail off as she sits forward and shimmies her blazer down her arms before unbuttoning her shirt. "Kenny?" My voice is so low I'm not sure she hears it, until she turns to me with mischief dancing in her hazel eyes.
"It's okay, I'm not planning on going in there in my underwear." She laughs, throwing both her blazer and shirt into the back of the car and allowing me to see that she's wearing a tank.
Can't lie, I'm totally disappointed.
"You got anything else to wear?"
"Let me check." I walk around to the trunk and pop it open.
I rummage around until I find a clean t-shirt. It's not until I drop my school shirt into the trunk that I realize she's joined me.
Looking over, I find her eyes locked on my torso and her teeth gnawing on her bottom lip.
"See something you like?" I ask, trying to keep my voice light despite how her heated stare is making me feel.
"Nah, you really need to cover that shit up."
I splutter a laugh. "This... shit?" I ask, pointing to my abs. A memory slams into me of her tracing along the lines with her black painted nail all those months ago, and my cock twitches to life in my pants. What I wouldn't fucking give right now to feel her hands on me. "Good to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor."
Pulling the fabric over my head, I close the trunk and step toward her, only she's no longer looking at me but at something over my shoulder.
"Wait here."
Before I have a chance to respond, she's halfway across the parking lot.
Resting back against my car, I watch her legs as she walks inside the small store, a smile curling at my lips. This is what I want with my best friend being in the Bay. Fun and laughter. Not her ignoring my existence as if I mean nothing.
She's back in a flash with a wicked smile playing on her lips.
"What have you done?" I ask, pushing from the car and stalking toward her as she pulls a bottle of vodka from her purse.
"Seems my fake ID works here too." She twists the cap and immediately lifts the bottle to her lips. She swallows a shot before passing it over.
"You're going to get me in so much shit, K."
"Meh, what's new?" she asks with a laugh. "Come on. Ready to show me a good time, Jagger?" She takes off toward the arcade and I'm powerless but to follow her.
I drink down two more generous shots before passing the bottle back. She does the same before tucking it into her purse, and we go inside.
The noise of the games fills my ears, and, along with the alcohol quickly making its way around my system, I instantly feel lighter, like everything is going to be okay.
Something has been missing for me in the Bay ever since we moved here, but it feels like I've finally found it. Because although Kenny’s arrival was dramatic, more dramatic than it needed to be, I know I’ve found my missing piece.
"Where to first?" I ask as she looks around.
"Bumper cars," she squeals and takes off running.
We both climb into separate cars, and, just like that, I'm a twelve-year-old boy with an infatuation for my best friend as we whip around the track, her desperately trying to get away from me but failing miserably as I bump into her over and over.
She throws her head back, laughing as if she has no care in the world, and I can't help but join her.
Fuck the Heights and the shadows that darken both of our pasts. Fuck school and the cheer bitches who don't think she's good enough for this place.
This right here is how it's meant to be.
We're both still laughing as we climb out of our cars. Kenny makes sure no one is watching us before pulling the bottle out and taking another drink.
"We should probably get some food, unless you were planning on getting shit-faced," I say, refusing her offer of more. I want to be able to get her back to her dorm in one piece once we're done here.
My heart constricts with the realization that our time together isn't going to last forever.
"Yes, food." She takes off around me and darts toward the food stands. "What's good?"
"Hot dogs?"
We eat, we play, and we laugh. We laugh so fucking much my cheeks hurt. It’s just like old times, and I can't wipe the goofy smile off my face, something that Kenny notices, pointing it out every time she looks at me.
I can't help it. This right now is everything. It's what I imagined every time I've seen Ace and Cole with their girls.
It was always meant to be me and Kenny, and even though I pushed her in another direction, I always hoped she'd come back to me. We were written in the stars or some shit. I was sure of it.
"I need to pee," she announces, swaying slightly on her feet as she heads toward the bathrooms. I watch her the whole way, not really believing the U-turn she's made today. I want to think this is it now, that she's forgiven me and is willing to rekindle our friendship, but something tells me that this is just a small reprieve from her anger.
Nothing with us has ever been that simple.
Resting back against the wall, I pull my cell from my pocket. As expected, I find messages and missed calls from Hadley and Remi, there are even a couple from Cole and Ace.
Ignoring the messages, I hit dial on Hadley, knowing that she'll probably be going out of her mind.
"Where the hell are you?" she barks the second the call connects.
"Hey, sis. It's nice to talk to you too."
"Don't try to be all cute, Jagger. Where is she?"
"Are you actually accusing me of taking her somewhere and hurting her?" I ask, shocked by her accusation.
"No. I know you won't hurt her. I'm more worried about you holding her against her will."
"Jesus, Hads. What do you really think of me?"
"Well, prior to meeting Kenny, I thought you were the nice one. But she brings something out in you that makes me worry. And I hate worrying. Your twin causes me enough, I don't need you on my plate too."
"I never asked you to worry about me," I snap, getting a little pissed off that she feels like she needs to baby me.
"Conner, it's not like that and you know it. So, where are you?"
"I've locked her up in a basement. You'll never find her."
"Ha ha, very funny. Seriously, where are you?"
"At the arcade," I relent.
"Oh," she breathes, as if she's shocked we're doing something so normal.
"We're just having some fun. Forgetting about shit."
"Okay, that's... g-good."
"Yeah, it is. It really fucking is. Now, are you done with the interrogation, Mom?"
"Yeah, we're good. Just..."
"What?" I ask when she trails off.
"Don't push her too hard. Follow her lead, yeah?"
"I'm not a fucking idiot, Hads. Give me some credit."
"I know you're not. She's just... she's not in a good place. I don't want you to think that just because things are okay right now she's put it all behind her."
Irritated at her assumptions, I bark, "Whatever," into my cell and hang up on her.
The rational side of me knows that Hadley is just looking out for Kenny, and a huge part of me is grateful that she's got someone on her side who can help her when she refuses to let me in. But at the same time, I'm pissed tha
t Hadley doesn't trust that I know how to deal with Kenny. It was just the two of us for years. I know her better than I know myself. I'm the last person anyone needs to be worried about when it comes to hurting her.
I'm still staring down at my cell when Kenny returns.
"What's wrong?" she asks. When I look up, I find her brows pulled together in concern. "Are we in shit?"
"Probably, but no, that was just Hadley ripping me a new one."
"Why? You haven’t done anything wrong."
"She's just overprotective."
"Fucking tell me about it. What's her story, anyway?" Kenny asks as she falls into step beside me.
"Not my story to tell, K. If she wants you to know, she'll tell you herself," I say, not that I know the details anyway. Only Cole knows the whole truth.
"Okay, fair enough. But... Lylah said something earlier."
"Lylah is a lying bitch," I snap.
"Yeah, I got that, but..." She hesitates, and my stomach clenches uncomfortably, knowing what's going to come next. "She said you and Cole... shared her."
I laugh. I can't help it.
"Okay, good to know."
"No, K. It's not like that. She's Cole's girl."
"So nothing has happened between you? The three of you?"
"Well... uh... yeah, something did. But it's not as bad as you're probably thinking."
"Right," she mutters before falling silent.
I want to tell her everything, make her listen, but I know Kenny well enough to know that she doesn't want to hear it right now.
Neither of us says anything about where we're going, but after a few minutes we step down onto the beach. Kenny kicks off her shoes and socks and wiggles her toes in the cool sand, sighing in delight.
Unable to resist, I reach out and thread my fingers through hers as we walk. She tenses and my heart sinks, expecting her to pull away from me. After a beat though, her hold on me tightens and we continue forward.
We're both silent, but that's okay. I might have a million and one questions for her, but right now, I'll settle for just her company. Hell, I'll always settle for that.
"I thought I'd hate this place. But... it's not so bad, I guess," she admits, coming to a stop and looking back up at the lights of the Bay twinkling in the distance.
The sun is beginning to set, the evening drawing in, and even I can admit that the place looks kinda pretty right now.
"Yeah, it's not a bad place to be. You could be really happy here, K."
"Maybe."
Pulling her fingers from mine, she drops down onto a dry bit of sand and pulls the bottle from her purse once more. She downs what remains before wrapping her arms around her legs.
"Everything's going to be okay, you know," I say, dropping down beside her and ensuring our shoulders touch. I'm not ready to let her go yet.
"Maybe."
"You're not alone now, Kenny," I say, pressing my hand gently to her shoulder and encouraging her to lie back.
She stares up at the sky above while I roll onto my side, preferring to look at her.
"Whatever happens from here on out, you're one of us. I've got your back."
A shiver rolls through her and I reach out, wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her up against me.
Her scent fills my nose and her curves align with my hard planes, making my teeth grind as desire washes through me.
She gasps as we connect, and her eyes fly to mine. Something crackles between us, my heart thunders in my chest, and I lose all my restraint as I drop my lips to hers.
Chapter Nine
Kennedy
Conner kisses me. It starts off slow. Tentative. As if he’s been waiting for this moment his entire life and he’s worried he’ll mess it up.
The thought is like a punch to the stomach. Conner wants me... he wants me, and yet he pushed me into Warren’s arms.
I’m so confused, so overwhelmed by the feel of his lips tracing mine, his warm, liquor-scented breath fanning my face, the way his body feels pressed close up against mine.
“Conner,” I whimper. “We shouldn’t—“
“Just give me this, Kenny, please...” His eyes flicker with intensity as he dives back in, sweeping his tongue into my mouth.
It’s too much. His touch, his kiss. I’m a sixteen-year-old girl again, crushing on her best friend. I kiss Conner back, letting my tongue slide against his as I fist his t-shirt and pull him closer. I can’t remember the last time I was kissed like this.
Memories slam into me. Me and Conner. Me and Warren. Soft touches morph into painful ones, and my breath catches as I start to drown in darkness.
“Conner, stop.” I slam my hands into his chest, trying to breathe.
“Kennedy?” His expression falls. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“I-I can’t do this...” Shoving him off me, I sit up, dragging in a shaky breath.
It was silly to think we could just go back to being Conner and Kennedy.
We can’t.
“Is this about him?”
“Don’t, okay?” I snap, unable to look at him, despite the way his eyes drill into the side of my head. “Just don’t.”
“So that’s it? Something happens between us and you run scared? That’s bullshit, and you know it, K.”
I finally lift my gaze to him. “This was a mistake.”
Hurt flashes over his face. “A mistake... nice, real fucking nice.” Conner runs a hand over his jaw, letting out a frustrated breath. “I get that he hurt you. I get that things are—"
“That’s just it, though. You don’t. You don’t have any idea what life has been like for me since you left. You moved here and found this new life, and I...” I swallow the words, because saying them only gives them power over me.
Conner nudges my shoulder gently with his. “Talk to me, I’m begging you, just—"
“We should go.” I stand. “It’s getting late, and Principal Vager will probably haul us into his office first thing in the morning. I need to sleep off this hangover.” A faint smile traces my lips, but he doesn’t return it.
“Yeah, whatever.” Conner clambers to his feet, brushing the sand off his jeans. “You know, K, I wasn’t the only one who flaked out on our friendship. I might have moved out of the Heights, but I wasn’t the one who walked away.”
He takes off toward the parking lot behind the pier.
“Wait,” I call after him. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Conner doesn’t slow down though, and I have to break into a jog to catch him. “Con, I said wait—"
“You’re right,” he grits out. “We should get back.”
My hand finds his and I tug sharply. “Not until you tell me what you meant just now.”
“It doesn't matter.” His expression is a stone mask.
“Conner...”
“Kennedy...”
We stare at one another, unwilling to bend. But the longer he denies me, the more I want to push.
“You’re acting like I ditched you, when we both know that you walked away from me long before you left the Heights.”
Bitter laughter rumbles in his chest. “What was I supposed to do, K? You were his. You were with him. I didn’t want to get in the way of that. So yeah, I backed off. But I never walked away. I was always there.” He gives me a sad smile.
“Always there? You left the Heights, never to be heard from again.”
Conner frowns, and dread snakes through me. “What are you talking about? I texted... you said—“
Reality crashes down around me.
No.
It can’t be—
“Kenny?” Conner’s hands grip my shoulders as he dips his head to look me in the eyes. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“You texted me?” My body begins to tremble.
“Of course I did. You were my best friend and I was in a brand new place, starting a brand new school.” A sheepish expression washes over him. “I needed you. I won’t lie, it fucking stung a lot when you to
ld me not to text anymore.”
I jerk back as if he’s slapped me. “Conner, I didn’t—"
“It doesn’t matter,” he grinds out. “We should go.”
He takes off toward his car...
And this time, I let him go.
We don’t speak on the ride back to the dorms. Conner is sulking, and I’m... I don’t even know what I am anymore.
When he reaches the campus boundary, I say, “Stop here.”
“No way, K, I can drive you to—"
“I said stop here.”
Letting out a hiss of disapproval, he cuts the engine. “Look, I—"
“Thanks for today,” I cut him off. “It was fun, just like old times.” The words are like shards of glass in my throat. “But maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”
“This?” he balks.
“Yeah, you and me hanging out, pretending everything is fine when we both know it’s not.”
“Kenny—"
“Goodbye, Conner.” I grip the door handle. “I guess I’ll see you around.” Shouldering the door, I hurry from the car. I feel his eyes follow me, but I don’t look back. I can’t.
Today was a mistake.
For a second, I’d believed that maybe things could go back to how they were. But it was a lie. A stupid, foolish lie I’d tried to tell myself.
Just like all of this is a lie.
I don’t belong at Sterling Prep. It isn’t the answer to all my prayers.
It’s a temporary fix.
A Band-Aid.
Warren is quiet now, but he’ll come for me.
You don’t just walk away from someone like Warren Kraven. This is probably all part of his sick plan to break me even more than he already has.
I can’t forget that.
I can never forget that.
It isn’t until I’m finally inside my dorm room that I realize that I’ve left my blazer and school shirt in Conner’s car. But I can’t worry about that now.
A soft knock at the door alerts me to Hadley’s presence. I contemplate not opening it, but in the end, I do. Because despite how jealous I’d been earlier at discovering she and Conner had had a thing, she’s the only friend I have right now.