by Caitlyn Dare
“You’re okay,” she breathes the second I pull the door open.
“Yep, all good here.”
“I can’t believe you did that.” Hadley slips past me without invitation.
“It’s no big deal.” I shrug, closing the door since it looks like she’s staying. “I’ve cut class plenty of times.”
“I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about Lylah... the way you just went at her.”
I shrug again. “She was being a bitch.”
“Yeah, but no one’s ever...” Her expression softens, and I realize she's referring to the fact that I stood up for her.
Or at least, I can see how it might look that way.
The truth is, the second I heard Lylah suggest Conner and Cole were sharing Hadley, something in me flipped. Jealousy had burned through me like wildfire, and I’d been spurred on by nothing but anger and regret... and a flash of possessiveness that I hadn’t expected.
Conner wasn’t mine.
Maybe he never had been.
We’d been friends. That was all. Yet, hearing Lylah say those things... I couldn’t stand listening to them.
“What?” Hadley asks, snapping me from my thoughts.
“Nothing.” I purse my lips, giving her a little shake of my head.
“It wasn’t just about me, was it? It was Conner too.”
“It’s late, I’m tired, and I really don’t want to do this right now.”
“Kennedy,” she lets out a soft sigh, “it’s not what you think, I promise. I’m with Cole. I’ve always been Cole’s.”
But something did happen with her and Conner, I can see it in her eyes. The same way I saw it in his.
The need to know burns through me like acid in my veins. Did they sleep together? Does she know how it feels to be close to him? Skin on skin, hands touching and bodies pressed together?
It shouldn’t gut me the way it does, but it’s there, a giant pit in my stomach.
“You should go,” I say, motioning to the door.
“Okay.” Hadley takes a resigned breath. “But I’m not going to let you push me away that easily. You need a friend, Kennedy Lowe, and that friend is me.”
I’d laugh if it weren’t for the serious expression on her face. So I opt for arching a brow. “Is that so?”
“Yup. So sleep it off, and I’ll see you in the morning.” Hadley reaches the door. “Oh, and Kenny?”
It’s the first time she’s used my nickname, and I have to admit it sounds a little strange coming from her lips.
“Yeah?”
“Whatever did or didn’t happen with me or Conner doesn’t matter, because his heart... well, something tells me that belongs to you.”
She gives me a weak smile before slipping into the hall, leaving me more confused than ever.
The next day, I leave for school before Hadley arrives. It’s a bitch move, but I can’t face her, not after last night. I need time to figure some things out—mostly what she said about Conner.
It makes no sense. I mean, I know he’s always loved me—we were best friends. But something doesn’t add up.
The second I step foot in the school building, Principal Vager appears, as if he were lying in wait. “Miss Lowe,” he barks, “my office.”
With a muffled groan, I dutifully follow him down the hall. Inside his office, I sit quietly, waiting for him to rip me a new one.
“I was disappointed we didn’t get to have this chat yesterday. But seeing as you and Mr. Jagger decided to cut class—”
“That was all my idea,” I blurt out. “After the tussle with Lylah, I needed an escape route—”
“And Conner just happened to be there?” One of his bushy brows hits his hairline.
“Yep.”
“Miss Lowe,” he leans forward, steepling his fingers, “I cannot have you assaulting other students—”
“Assault?” I balk. “She called Hadley—”
“Miss Lowe.” His hand collides with the desk. “Enough. When I agreed to your transfer with Mr. Jagger, I was assured that you would blend in. You barely managed to make it through your first morning.”
I sink into the chair, feeling his disappointment from across the desk. “Sterling Prep prides itself on providing a safe and enriching atmosphere for its students. We have had enough issues with the Jagger brothers, let alone you.”
“Me?” I sneer. “You mean a girl from the Heights?”
“That’s not... I didn’t mean that.”
“Sure you didn’t. You think I don’t know what everything thinks about me? They take one look at me and cast their judgements. Nothing is going to change that.”
“You can change that, Kennedy. You can prove them wrong.”
I press my lips into a thin line, hating that he’s right.
“I agreed to this because I want to help. No one should have to—” He stops himself, and I wonder just how much James told him.
The thought makes me wince.
“But you need to play ball, Kennedy. Go to class, keep your head down, and stay out of trouble. Do you think you can do that?”
“I guess.” I shrug.
“A little enthusiasm would go a long way. It isn’t a bad school. You just have to give it a chance.”
“And Lylah and her pack of wolves?”
“Miss Donovan has been reprimanded.”
“She has?” I did not see that coming.
“A couple of witnesses came forward to give their version of accounts. They corroborated Miss Rexford’s statement that you were provoked.”
“I... I don’t know what to say.”
“Perhaps you should rethink the way you see our students, Miss Lowe. The way I hope they will rethink the way they see you.”
“Is that all?” I ask, desperate to escape his office. It feels like the walls are closing in around me, and I’m worried he might start quoting motivational words at me next.
“For now.”
I grab my bag and make my way to the door, but his voice gives me pause.
“Oh, and Kennedy?”
“Yeah?”
“Miss Jones will see you in detention after school.”
“But I thought you just said—”
“We have a zero tolerance policy for violence at Sterling Prep. I expect you to check in with her every day after class. It’ll give the two of you a chance to talk.”
Gritting my teeth together, I yank open his door and step into the hall.
Just when I thought that maybe, just maybe, this place wasn’t as bad as I thought, he goes and drops that bombshell.
Fuck my life.
Chapter Ten
Conner
The second I step foot into school, I'm summoned to Principal Vager's office. I'm hardly surprised, but everyone is talking like I killed someone, not just skipped out on a day. I wasn't even the one who hit anyone.
His door is closed, and I'm instructed to sit and wait. Only, I'm too restless to do so, so instead, I pace back and forth in front of his assistant’s desk, much to her irritation if her burning stare is anything to go by.
Nothing I did last night helped to shift the big black hole of regret and confusion that swirled around me from our conversation.
My fists clench as I think about what she said about me walking away from her. I'd never fucking walk away from her. Everything I've done has been for her. Every-fucking-thing. I ripped my own heart out, thinking that I was doing the best thing for her, and all it's resulted in is her hating me.
My teeth grind and my jaw ticks as I continue pacing.
It was all for her. All of it. And all I got in return was a message telling me to stop contacting her after all the years that had passed between us.
All I ever wanted was for her to be happy.
Vager's door opens and I pause in my pacing right as Kenny emerges. She looks exhausted. Her bruises from New Year are almost gone now, although she has fresh scabs on her cheek from her fight with Lylah yesterday. But what makes my he
art sink is the darkness of her eyes. Did she sleep at all last night?
Our eyes hold for a beat before I step toward her. I reach out, ready to take her cheek in my hand, to connect with her in some way, but her body tenses and it's like she puts up an impenetrable wall between us.
My hand drops to my side and my shoulders slump. "Ken—"
"Don't," she snaps. "We've got nothing to talk about."
My chin drops at her cold words. She makes the most of my shock and takes off. Her arm brushes mine as she passes, but even in my state, I still feel that spark of electricity when we touch.
"Mr. Jagger. Shall we?" Vager says, breaking through the silence and the blood that's rushing past my ears at her dismissal.
Regretfully, I follow him to his office and fall down onto one of the seats. I haven’t been in here since the day we started. Shit, that seems like a million years ago now.
"I expected better from you, Conner," Vager reprimands as he lowers to his chair, rests his elbows on his huge mahogany desk, and steeples his fingers.
"Well, then maybe you don't know me very well."
He reaches out and slides a piece of paper in front of him.
"Your teachers seem to have a good impression of you." His eyes flick over the paper. "And your GPA is impressive."
"Thanks," I mutter, not really all that interested in hearing about my performance. I know all this shit. People might not think it when they look at me, but I work fucking hard for it.
"Have you mailed your college applications?"
Those envelopes still sitting on my desk taunt me even from here.
"No, not yet."
"Why not? The deadline is approaching."
"I'm aware."
"Where are you hoping to go?"
"I'm sorry, is this meant to be a guidance counselor meeting or an ass-ripping for skipping yesterday?"
"Uh..." He hesitates, his eyebrows almost hitting his hairline. "I like to think of it as more of a reality check."
"With all due respect, I know all about reality. We shouldn't have skipped yesterday, I'm aware. But Lylah got her claws into someone I care about, and my loyalties lie with Kennedy. Always."
"Understood. Keep a close eye on her. She needs to fit in here, not paint a target on her back. I don't want to have to go to your un—” he corrects himself, “father and tell him that I'm no longer able to help."
My brow rises. Is he threatening to go against James Jagger? I might not know all that much about our illusive father yet, but I do know that he's not a man you say no to.
"Kenny will fit in just fine. You just need to keep your zoo animals in order. Cage them, maybe. Are we done? Only, I don't want to be late to class. Got to keep that GPA up, right?" I smirk at him as I push to stand and back toward the door.
"We are. Send those applications, Conner. I know it's a big step. But you'll regret it if you miss the deadline and have to fight for a place. Despite some obvious things since you started here, any college would be lucky to have you."
I tilt my chin, the only thing I'm willing to give him to show I heard his words before spinning on my heels and marching toward statistics.
Kenny and I don't have many classes together, so the only time I get to see her is at lunch or in the few minutes we get as we move between subjects.
Each time I spot her across the hallway, her head is down as if she's trying to vanish into the crowd. I have no idea if she's trying to hide from me or just everyone, but all she's achieving is pissing me off.
"I need you to do something for me," I bark at Christian, the IT nerd who’s done Ace’s and Cole’s dirty work in the past. As predicted, he’s sitting at a computer during lunch.
"Great," he mutters under his breath, but I catch it.
"Careful, or I won't make it worth your while."
"What do you need?"
"Kennedy Lowe's schedule."
"That it?"
"Yeah."
In only minutes he's printing it out for me.
"Appreciate it, man." I slap him on the shoulder, probably a little harder than he was expecting, before stalking out of the room, staring down at the piece of paper and discovering where she's going to be last period.
I slip out of my class a little early. Thankfully, my teacher doesn't even bat an eyelid, other than to look slightly terrified of me as I march toward her.
I know Ace, Cole, and I have a rep around here, but I can't help thinking that it's a little over the top, for me especially. I haven’t exactly lived a life on the edge. I've saved most of the drama for Ace and Cole. My indiscretions don't go much further than occasionally getting high, and fighting. That doesn't mean I'm not as capable as them though.
I'm standing directly opposite her classroom door with my back and foot resting on the wall behind me. A few kids emerge. A couple bother to look up, but most just ignore my existence—fine by me.
I spot her head behind the crowd, and just like earlier, she's staring at the floor, hoping to become invisible. It won't work though, especially with me. I'll always see her.
"K," I say, stepping up to her and stopping her exit. She pauses, her shoulders dropping in defeat, but she should realize that it'll take more than that to get rid of me.
She looks up slightly, her gaze running up my body as if she's committing it to memory before her tired eyes meet mine.
Kenny sighs. "Excuse me," she whispers, stepping around me but not getting very far before I reach for her.
I hold her stare, silently begging her not to do this, not to shut me out and send me away again.
Most of yesterday was so incredible. I had my girl back again, but then I fucked up. I shouldn't have kissed her. I knew that even as I was doing it, but my pull to her, as ever, was too strong. It was why I had to back away when she chose Warren over me. I couldn't just hang around and watch him with the girl I always thought should have been mine.
"K, please. Don't do this."
"Will you get out of the fucking way?" someone from behind her barks, and it's not until then that I realize we're totally blocking the doorway.
Reaching out, I wrap my hand around her forearm and tug her out of the way. She doesn't see it coming and stumbles in front of me until she crashes into my chest.
Steadying her, I wrap my arm around her waist, pressing her into me tighter. My temperature spikes a few notches at having the length of her body pressed up against mine, but I only get to enjoy it for a second or two, because the moment she comes back to herself, she tenses and fights to get out of my hold.
"Get off me," she barks, slamming her palms down on my chest.
"K, chill out."
"No, I will not fucking chill out. Get off me," she repeats, her voice lower and more threatening than before. Not that I could ever find anything about her scary... well, maybe aside from how she's the only girl who's ever had the ability to shatter me.
So maybe I should be scared of her. Terrified, actually.
Unable to do anything but what she demands, I reluctantly release her. "Are you..."
"I need to go," she says, spinning to get away from me.
"I just want to talk," I call, racing after her.
"Yeah, well, I don't. I've got nothing to say to you."
Her words are like a knife through my chest.
"Kenny, please. Stop shutting me out."
"I'll do what the hell I want," she barks, continuing toward the dorm buildings.
I follow her, despite the fact that she clearly doesn't want me to.
When we get to the entrance, she turns, pinning me with her narrowed eyes. "Following me around like a lost puppy isn't going to help, Conner. Nothing is going to happen here. Nothing ever should have happened here. All of it was a mistake."
"No, you don't mean that. You—"
"Like hell I don't. You need to leave me alone. I'm only here because I have no other option. The second I'm eighteen, I'm out of here and you'll never see me again."
Before I find
the words to respond, she's gone.
I take a step forward, but I stop myself at the last minute. The worst thing to do right now would be to continue to follow her.
"I'm sorry, Con," a soft voice says, coming up behind me.
I don't turn to look at Hadley. I can't. She'll see the pain in my eyes and want to help, but this situation is totally helpless right now. Nothing me or Hadley can do will fix any of it.
"Whatever," I mutter, turning and walking back toward school so I can find my car and get the fuck away from this day.
"Conner," she calls.
"I'm fine, Hadley. You know me, I always finish last." I choke out the final words, and I can only hope that I'm far enough away from her that she doesn't catch it.
The second I'm in the car, I head for home, ignoring anyone who so much as looks my way.
Stripping off my uniform, I pull on a pair of sweats and head for a room I've made use of a few times since we moved here when I've had no other way of blowing off steam.
I connect my cell to the wireless speakers and allow the heavy beat of Imagine Dragons to fill the room, forcing me out of my own head.
Stepping onto the treadmill, I up the speed until all I can think about is moving my legs fast enough and the burn in my lungs. I've never really been into sports, not like Cole. But exercise has always been my release. That and fighting, I just promised Ace and Cole I'd try to stay away from that as much as possible. Although I can't deny that I could really do with laying into some guy right now and feeling the sting of my knuckles.
I glance at the state-of-the-art home gym James set up but seems to never use and realize something is missing. Something I think I'm going to need if Kenny and I keep playing this game we seem to have got ourselves trapped in.
Chapter Eleven
Kennedy
“Hey,” I say to Hadley as she reaches me.
“Hi yourself.” She smiles. “How were classes this morning?”
“Okay, I guess.” My shoulders lift in a half-shrug. “Have you seen Conner?”
“Hmm, yeah. We had third period together.”