Tales of a Sibby Slicker

by Samantha Garman

  “Yeah, love?”

  “Any ETA on the parents?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. Call your mom.”

  “Can I use your phone?” I didn’t want to look at my cell. The notifications were no doubt out of control.

  Stacy hopped down from the counter and didn’t even spill her drink. She headed to the coffee table and made a cheese cracker tower and then plopped down onto the floor.

  “I’ll get you a chair,” I said.

  “Nah, I’m good.” She crossed her legs and reached out to touch Joe’s ankle.

  He looked down at her. “Hey, baby.”

  I stage whispered to Aidan, “Everyone’s in love.”

  “Yep.” He didn’t take his eyes off the TV.

  “I’ve become obsolete,” I muttered.

  Aidan handed me his phone.

  “The game can’t be that interesting.” I looked at the other occupants for support. All eyes were glued to the TV, even Mrs. Nowacki, but we knew why she liked football.

  I took Aidan’s phone and called my mom. She didn’t answer. I called my dad. He didn’t answer either. Aidan’s parents didn’t pick up their phones.

  Super weird.

  I called Caleb, and he answered on the third ring. “Hey, bud.”

  “Hey, Caleb, it’s me.”

  “Hey! How’s that turkey looking?”

  “Juicy. Are my parents around?”

  “No. All the parents left the bar fifteen minutes ago.”

  “Then they should be here.”

  “Call them.”

  “I did,” I said. “I called all of them. None of them answered.” I walked away from the living room—Aidan and Joe were yelling at the TV, and I could barely hear Caleb.

  “Oh, hold on, I’m getting another call,” I said to Caleb, looking at my phone. “It’s my mom.” I pressed a button. “Mom? Where are you guys?”

  “Sibby, it wasn’t my fault.”

  There was a siren in the background, and it made it impossible to hear what she was saying.

  “Ma, hold on! I can’t hear you!” When the siren passed, I asked, “Okay, what did you say?”

  “I said, it wasn’t my fault. I had a firm hold on the leash, I swear I did, but Jasper saw a squirrel, and he lunged so hard that his collar snapped, and he…”

  My hand gripped the phone. “He what?”

  “He took off, Sibby. And we’ve all split up to look for him, but we can’t find him.”

  There was no time for fear. I snapped into drill sergeant mode. I commanded my mother to call the others and get them in the same place to sit on a bench and wait. My mother wasn’t much of a drinker, but she definitely sounded like she’d been imbibing.

  “Are they on their way?” Aidan asked as I walked back into the living room.

  “Uh, no. Jasper got loose. They’ve been scouring the neighborhood but can’t find him.”

  “Jasper got loose?” Aidan jumped up from the futon. “We have to go look for him. Now.”

  “We’ll help,” Terry added.

  Everyone rushed to get their coats. Everyone except Mrs. Nowacki who had fallen asleep.

  “Let’s make a video,” Stacy said, sticking her hipster beanie on her head.

  “Now’s not the time for a freakin’ Instagram video,” Aidan snapped.

  She flinched. “Okay, I know you hate me, but between both Sibby’s and my account, if we show a picture of Jasper and make a video, other people can help find him.”

  Aidan’s face softened. “I’m sorry, I—”

  “Later,” I said. “You guys can become besties later.”

  “Where should we look?” Zeb asked.

  “Where have your parents already been?” Joe added.

  “Who knows. They’re all drunk,” I said. “So I’m getting them together in one place. You guys”—I pointed to Zeb and Terry—“head north.”

  “Got it,” Zeb said.

  “You guys,” I said to Joe and Stacy, “head south.”

  Joe nodded.

  “I’ll visit all his favorite places—”

  “We,” Aidan cut me off. “We will visit all his favorite spots.”

  “He has favorite spots?” Terry asked, following Zeb out the door.

  “You sure you’re up for this?” I asked Aidan, worry in my tone for him—and for Jasper. He was out on the streets of Brooklyn. Alone. It was cold. Traffic. No, couldn’t think about it.

  Aidan cupped my cheek. “Yeah. I’m strong enough to go out there. We’ll find him.”

  Stacy held up her phone. “Video?”

  I nodded. It was quick and to the point, and soon it was uploaded on Instagram within a few minutes. I left my phone on. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed Aidan’s hand, and we were out the door.

  We split off from the others, but had to take it slow. Aidan’s phone pinged with a message. “My mom,” he said. “They’re wandering the streets of Greenpoint calling for Jasper.”

  “The four of them together?” I asked.

  “Yeah. My parents met up with your parents—”

  “I told my Mom to stay put.”

  “Don’t be mad at her,” he said, shoving his phone back in his pocket.

  “I’m not mad at her.”

  “Yes, you are.”

  “She got drunk and lost our son.”

  “It wasn’t her fault. You know how Jasper gets around squirrels.”

  “I’m freaking out! Why aren’t you freaking out!”

  “Because if you freak out, and I freak out at the same time, then the world will spontaneously implode. Come on,” he said, grabbing my hand. “I bet I know where he went.”

  Jasper was running around in the dog park, tongue lolling as he stalked after a black miniature poodle. The miniature poodle’s owner was sitting on a bench, bundled up to the extreme in a white parka and pink earmuffs. I opened the gate of the dog park and called to Jasper.

  He came over immediately and jumped up onto my legs. I scooped him up and buried my face in his fur. Aidan stroked Jasper, and we had a not so private reunion.

  “He didn’t have tags on him,” the owner of the poodle said, getting up. “But he seemed friendly enough, and my Claudette took a fancy to him.”

  “Thank you so much,” Aidan said. “He saw a squirrel and—”

  “It happens. Claudette slips out all the time.”

  “Let me call my dad.” Aidan got his phone out of his pocket. He stepped away to make the call.

  “The dog I had before Claudette was a hound mix. He pulled a lot. The harness was the only way to keep him under control.”

  “Harness. Got it. Thank you. My name is Sibby. This is Jasper.” I gestured with my chin. “That’s Aidan.”

  “Mae,” she said with a smile. “Claudette and I are here most days between three and four.”

  “Excellent. We’ll be back.” I waved Jasper’s paw at her. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

  “Happy Thanksgiving.”

  I was finally able to take a deep breath as I carried Jasper out of the dog park. Aidan followed, shoving his phone into his pocket. “The parents have been corralled to Veritas.”

  “Great, just what they need. More booze.”

  “Caleb is making them hydrate.”

  “Good.”

  “We should call the others, let them know the search has been called off.”

  “Send a mass text from my phone,” I said, turning my body so he could get my phone out of my pocket.

  “I’ll get us an Uber first.” While we waited for the car, Aidan sent off a mass text to everyone, telling them to head back to our apartment. “Well, this has been an exciting Thanksgiving so far,” Aidan said as we climbed into the cab.

  “We haven’t even told our parents about the twins yet.”

  “Yeah, it all kind of got away from us, hasn’t it?”

  “Next year’s gonna be even crazier,” I told him. “Two extra humans. With my DNA.”

  “They have my DNA too,” he pointe
d out.

  “Won’t matter. Sibby’s Law is strong. Even diluted Sibby’s Law.”

  “Stop with the Sibby’s Law. There’s no such thing as Sibby’s Law.”

  “Instead of the cut version of the apology video, I posted the entire thing where I basically told the law to fuck off.”

  Aidan blinked. “So, Sibby’s Law, huh?”

  I sighed. “Sibby’s Law.”

  The cab stopped. “Can’t go any further,” the cabbie said.

  “Why not?” I asked.

  “Road is blocked off. There’s a fire truck down there.”

  Aidan and I looked at each other. He opened the door and got out. I scooted across the seat with Jasper in my arms and stepped out onto the street. We darted around the closed road sign and briskly trotted down the street. Jasper was getting heavy in my arms, but he rested his face against my shoulder, so at least he wasn’t squirming to get down.

  We got to the middle of our block, and my mouth dropped open.

  The second floor of our apartment building was on fire.

  Aidan’s face went slack. “Okay. I’m an official believer in Sibby’s Law.”

  Chapter 34

  #paininchampagne #notagain

  The mood in Veritas was somber. We’d pulled a few tables together; the parents sat at one end, sobering up—while the rest of us stared at our hands. Even Jasper seemed to know something was wrong because he was lying down on a towel near my feet, face on his paws.

  “I set. Our house. On fire,” I said.

  “No,” Mrs. Nowacki said. “It was my fault. I fall asleep.”

  I grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

  “No, it’s my fault,” my mom chimed in. “I wasn’t paying attention and Jasper—”

  “Stop,” I said. “Everyone please, stop. This is just one of those things that happens. The important thing? We’re all safe—and no one in the building got hurt.”

  All of our neighbors were gone for the holiday, and the fire had been contained to our apartment. Windows were open to air out the smoke, but we had to wait a few days to go inside to assess the damage.

  “This is going to be an insurance nightmare,” I muttered. Luckily, we were covered up the wazoo. Because, well, me.

  Caleb was behind the bar, mixing cocktails and bringing them over to us. For our parents, he kept bringing them water.

  “Where are you guys gonna stay?” Stacy asked.

  “A hotel probably,” Aidan said.

  “Absolutely not.” Nancy stood. “You’ll stay with us.”

  “We have to be close to the city, Mom,” Aidan said gently.

  “Why? You’re not going back to work for another week or so,” Bud said.

  “Still,” Aidan said. “Sibby needs to be close to the city.”

  “I do?” I asked.

  He nodded with a look. Oh, so he didn’t want to be in his parents’ home for any length of time. Got it.

  “You should just move to Long Island and be done with it,” Terry said.

  “Yeah. I mean, you need the space, now that you found out you’re having twins,” Zeb said, slugging back his cocktail.

  The entire bar went silent.

  Mom looked at Zeb. “What did you just say?”

  Zeb’s eyes widened. “Nothing. I said nothing.”

  “No.” My mom stood. “You said twins.”

  “Did not,” Zeb denied.

  “Did too,” she shot back. To me she said, “Sibyl Ruth, are you having twins?”

  Oh boy.

  “Yeah,” I said slowly. “We’re having twins.”

  Nancy stood up and looked around the bar. “And how many of you knew before we did?”

  Zeb slowly raised his hand, followed by Terry and Caleb. Even Mrs. Nowacki raised her hand. My mom stared down Stacy and Joe. “You both didn’t know?”

  Stacy shook her head. “Though to be honest, I kinda guessed.”

  I looked at her. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah.” She nodded. “I’m like seriously awesome at guessing if a woman’s gonna have multiples. I usually guess the gender right, too.”

  “It’s true,” Joe said. He looked at her fondly. “It’s like her carnie trick.”

  “And yet again, I’m the last to know what’s going on in my own daughter’s life!” my mother bellowed.

  I winced.

  “Honey,” my father said, standing slowly.

  She waved him back down. “You, hush.”

  My father sat and then threw me a sympathetic look and mouthed, I’m sorry followed by a congratulations.

  “This isn’t how this is supposed to go, Sibby. I’m your mother. I’m supposed to know before everyone else. Before your friends. Before social media. EVERYONE.”

  I stood up and pressed my hands to the table. “You lost my dog.”

  My mother stared at me.

  I stared at her.

  “Call it even?” she suggested.

  I grinned. “Sounds good.”

  She clapped her hands together, all traces of anger gone. “Twins!”

  “Twins!” everyone echoed.

  The parents stood up and came to us. Mom grasped me to her, and for a moment, I closed my eyes. We were all happy, healthy, and safe. Sometimes that was all that mattered. Everything else would be okay.

  My phone rang. It was Annie calling to wish us a happy Thanksgiving. I missed her so much, but she was already sounding like her old self. As I hung with her, Caleb came out from behind the bar, holding a bottle of champagne.

  “Do you want to do the honors?” he asked me.

  “Sure.” I took the bottle from him and removed the cage. “Who wants champagne?” As if on cue, everyone ducked.

  “Ha-ha,” I said. “Like that would happen again—”

  The cork shot from the bottle, whizzed through the air, and hit one of the champagne flutes that Caleb had lined up on the bar. The flute smashed on impact and caused the flutes on each side to wobble. In domino style, all the flutes toppled.

  “Huh,” I said. “What do you know? I still have my magical powers.”

  Everyone rose slowly. Aidan took the champagne bottle from my hands and said, “I’ve been good this entire time. I gave up drinking in solidarity, but now—” He brought the bottle to his lips and took a sip. He passed the bottle to Stacy who also took a sip. As the bottle made the rounds, Aidan took me into his arms.

  I sighed. “Sibby’s Law. Still going strong.”

  He grinned. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

  Sibby and Aidan are having twins! Cast your vote to decide their gender!

  A Quick Guide To Yiddish

  Bubbe: Grandmother

  Gatkes: long johns

  Gefilte Fish: a dish of stewed or baked stuffed fish, or of fish cakes boiled in a fish or vegetable broth and usually served chilled.

  Kibbitz: Chit chat.

  Mazel Tov: Congratulations.

  Plotz: collapse or be beside oneself with frustration, annoyance, or other strong emotion. Literally ‘to burst’

  Tuchus: slang for butt or rearend

  Zayde: Grandfather

  Other books by Samantha Garman:

  Tales of a New York Waitress (chick-lit/humor)

  A klutzy twenty-something woman finds a job in a New York Italian restaurant. Insanity ensues.

  Season of the Shadows (Dandelion Dreams Duet Book #1) (women’s fiction)

  A broken man finds solace and redemption in the arms of a woman suffering from her own loss.

  Season of the Sun (Dandelion Dreams Duet Book#2) (women’s fiction)

  The sequel to Season of the Shadows

  Secrets of a Heart (historical romance)

  A destitute woman encounters her wealthy, mysterious new neighbor. It’s only a matter of time before she realizes he may not be what he seems.

  The Defiant Lady (historical romance)

  A penniless earl falls for the illegitimate daughter of a duke. Can he convince her they’re perfect
for one another?

  Acknowledgments

  Wow. So this happened. You know, when I wrote Tales of a New York Waitress, I never planned on a sequel. But life happens, and lovable characters that I thought lived happily-ever-after at the end of Waitress had more living to do. Inspiration strikes at the weirdest of times.

  My husband and I moved out of New York on September 25, 2017 and to celebrate, we went on a two-month cross country road trip. We camped, we lived out of our car, and we experienced something epic. Together.

  Now, it wasn’t all unicorns and rainbows. And I had an interesting adjustment period. It made me think about Sibby, and how she’d do in the wild. Thus Sibby Slicker was born.

  I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it. Sibby and Aidan made me laugh more times than I could count—and made my husband laugh, too!

  So many people that need to be thanked for making this book what it is. First, my husband. If it hadn’t been for our own camping shenanigans, this book wouldn’t have happened. Thank you to my mother who reads everything that I write. To Sarah, who will read this after finals. To Lia, my fabulous editor. You make my writing so much stronger. To Maria and Terra. Seriously, I don’t know what I’d do with out you guys. There aren’t enough words. And last, to my readers who wanted more Aidan and Sibby. This is for you.

  About the Author

  Samantha Garman was a waitress in Manhattan for many moons. On her last day of work she did the Chicken Dance. It’s possible there’s a video of it on YouTube.

  Never miss another shenanigan by signing up for Samantha’s newsletter: http://bit.ly/2kGc2io

  Though she does have a Facebook and Twitter account, she spends all of her time on Instagram. All shenanigans all the time.

  For more information visit:

  www.samanthagarman.com/

  samantha@samanthagarman.com