A Pact For Life

by Elliot, Graham

  “It's what I do,” Diana admitted. “You were the real star in there. I thought Kristen was going to jump across the table and attack you when you answered there is no hope for reconciliation.”

  “It wouldn't be the first time she's done that, eh?” Jamie asked his brother.

  “Stop it, Diana doesn't want to hear any of that stuff. Anyway, shouldn't you be over there talking to those deli girls?” Andrew cocked his head over to the counter where two girls were busy slicing meats and cheeses.

  “Geez, you could've just said you wanted to be alone.” Jamie said as he got up and left the table. Walking toward the girls, he muttered back, “But they are pretty cute. Good eye, brother.”

  Alone for the first time since before the meeting, both Diana and Andrew were at a loss for words. After a nervous silence, Andrew settled on discussing the divorce. “So what is the next step in this process? Do we just sit around and wait for arbitration?”

  “Since you're the filing spouse, I'll be the one to arrange for the arbitrator. They are in pretty high demand so it will be a month or so before we can have the hearing. We shouldn't need to meet again until that time... I mean, unless you any other legal help.”

  “Hah, let's hope I won't need any.” Andrew cleared his throat and said. “This might sound odd, but if it's alright with you, would you like to get together occasionally? I mean, as friends. It's just so rare to meet someone so similar. I understand if you don't want to. I wouldn't want to cause any problems with your boyfriend.”

  I'm single, let's go out! Diana screamed in her head, but, “I'm sure he won't mind,” is what came out of her mouth.

  As the initial thrill of Andrew's request wore off, Diana started to regret this agreement to meet outside of work. For one, he was a client, and even the most casual of John Grisham readers would agree it was a breach of professional ethics. Secondly, she realized she was setting herself up to be rejected. Once she told him she was single, everything would change. Andrew wouldn't want to date her while she was pregnant, and after her daughter is born, he wouldn't want to help raise someone else's child.

  If she was looking for a quick hookup, it would be completely different. She didn't want a fling though. She was not young enough, nor bitter or carefree enough for just a fling. She wanted 'till death do us part'.

  Jamie came back to the table and slumped down in his chair. “They are both married. Seriously, they can't be older than twenty-one, what is wrong with them? It was probably their first boyfriends too. Why do people do that?”

  Both Diana and Andrew shrugged since they had no experience on the subject. For them, high school and college consisted of studying, internships, and residencies, not dating and parties. Those things didn't come for them until they were true professionals, and even then, their parties were conventions and charity events, not football games and keggers.

  Jamie realized that Diana and his brother had less dating experience than the sandwich girls, and so he decided to change the subject to something more appropriate. “Andrew, when are we leaving for Kansas?”

  “Next Monday. Hopefully this trip will be easier with you than it was with Kristen.”

  “At least the music will be better.”

  Andrew laughed and said, “Coming home last year, I almost threw her Beyonce CD out the window when we crossed back into Colorado. I rode the next three hours with my headphones on, but at least I got to hear NPR rather than that ring song for the 500th time.”

  “I love Morning Edition.” Diana blurted out with the only NPR program she was familiar with.

  Diana's purse began to rattle from the inside. The source of the vibration was her phone. She pulled it out and saw a reminder reading:

  Partner's Meeting

  Conference Room A

  15 minutes

  Dismiss / Snooze

  “Oh crap, I forgot about this meeting.” Diana said and stood up. “It's a meaningless thing, all we do is go over the financial position of the firm.”

  “Why don't you stay here and skip it?” Andrew asked.

  Diana thought about the repercussions of skipping the meeting, which were nothing except having to get briefed on it later. She wanted to stay there with Andrew, but like a compulsive eater hearing the ice cream truck blasting its music, she couldn't disobey her gut feeling. “I'm really sorry, Andrew, this is one of those meetings that I can't miss. You know how it is.”

  “If it's anything like my partner meetings, then I feel sorry for you. It's okay though, we'll catch up after Christmas.”

  Diana nodded in agreement and said her goodbyes. When she opened the door to leave, Andrew shouted to her, “Hey Diana! Merry Christmas!”

  She felt a smile involuntarily form on her face as she replied back, “Merry Christmas to you, too.”

  At the Young house, Christmas and its Eve were deemed successful if all of the family members still talked to each other at the end of the night. In Diana's thirty-three years alive, this success only happened a handful of times. Safe to say, the holiday spirit stopped at the wreath hanging from the front door.

  Diana was starting to run out of excuses to tell her family for why Cale wasn't around, and decided it was time to tell them the truth. For the sake of getting her point across, she decided to tell each family member separately, that way, the arguments could be kept to a minimum and the message focused. She approached it like a race, starting with an easy downhill sprint symbolizing her brother, then a casual flat jog representing her sister, followed by the true test of her endurance, the Mount Everest of her mom, and finally an easy sprint to the finish line being her dad.

  Diana walked into Jack's room, which was 15 degrees hotter than the rest of the house thanks to a computer, Xbox, aquarium, and TV all running at once. Jack was sitting cross legged on the floor playing a video game, but paused it as soon as Diana walked in.

  “Hey Diana,” Jack said in his typical quiet way.

  “Oh, you can keep playing. I just wanted to tell you that I'm through with Cale. He won't be here for Christmas tomorrow.”

  Jack sat there, and blankly stared at her. This news was hard for him to comprehend. Diana continued, “You're the first person in the family I've told. I figured I would give it a test run with you first.”

  “Oh, uh...thanks. You did a good job.”

  “Thanks Jack.”

  As Diana turned to leave, Jack spoke up, “Does this mean Cale is never coming over again?”

  “Yep, that's the gist of it.”

  “And you'll never see him again?”

  “I probably will. After all, he's still the father of her.” Diana said and patted her stomach.

  “When you see him, can you stop by here first so I can give you a flash drive of my artwork to show him? The last time he was here, I told him about how good I was getting at Photoshop, but now I have some completed files to show him.”

  Diana's brother looked like his life depended on whether or not Cale would see those files. A flash drive was far from her top priority for the next time she saw Cale, but she told her brother, “You got it, I'll make sure to pass it along.”

  “Thanks Diana,”

  “Thanks for being so easy to talk about this stuff with. I'm telling Caitlyn next.”

  “Good luck,” Jack said and unpaused his game.

  Caitlyn was in the guest room watching TV with her boyfriend Jimmy. The guest room had previously been Caitlyn's and before that, Diana's, but any signs they had ever lived there were long gone. Now there was quilted sheets, too many pillows, flowery wallpaper, and pastels. Lots of pastels.

  “In the end, we just weren't a good match. I'm sure we'll still see each other every now and then since it's his child too, but as a couple, we're done.” Diana finished her confession as Caitlyn half-listened and Jimmy fully ignored. On the TV was the manufactured, scripted drama of a reality show.

  Caitlyn replied, “So that's why Cale hasn't come in to get his hair cut lately. Some of the girls were asking
about him.”

  Losing the congeniality her original announcement carried, Diana angrily said, “They can have him all they want, he's dead to me.”

  “I've heard that before,” Caitlyn mocked and stood up. “I need to get a drink. Jimmy, you want anything?”

  “Yeah babe, grab me a beer.” Jimmy answered.

  Outside the room, Caitlyn grabbed Diana's arm and whispered, “Since we're both sharing stuff, check this out. I think Jimmy is going to propose.”

  “What!? How long have you guys been together?”

  “It'll be two months this week.”

  Diana let out a deep breath. “Come on, Caitlyn. That's too soon. Do you want another repeat of Steve or Bobby?”

  “This time is different, we really love each other.”

  Diana wanted to scream not just at her sister, but at every person who got married before they even know who it was they were marrying. She was angry at how easily some people could pull the trigger on something as big as marriage, and how they never seemed to learn from their mistakes after the first, or in this case, second divorce. But then again, she owed a large percentage of her income to those people. So instead of screaming, Diana calmly replied, “I've already gotten you out of two divorces, I really don't feel like getting you out of a third.”

  They entered the kitchen as Caitlyn bragged, “Oh, you're just jealous of me because of Cale. You can't stand what me and Jimmy have.”

  They hadn't noticed Terri, Uncle Vick, and Popa sitting at the dining room table. Terri asked, “What is that you guys?”

  “Stay out of it.” The two sisters said back in unison.

  Diana turned to her sister and said, “I can't stand what you have? Two life preservers in your chest, lips that make you look like a duck, and a boyfriend whose perfect evening involves trashy TV and a case of Bud Light.”

  With that, Christmas had officially begun in the Young house. “Listen here, bitch, I'm glad Cale left you. With...”

  “What!?” Terri interrupted. “Cale left!?”

  Diana muttered, “Shit,” and searched for a way to handle the situation. She needed time to think. “Caitlyn and Jimmy are engaged!”

  “That can wait. Diana, what happened with Cale?”

  Again, “Shit,” was whispered and Diana decided to come right out and say it. “He's gone. We got into this huge fight, and it ended with him leaving. We're done, I'm keeping the baby, case closed.”

  The commotion from the kitchen brought everyone out to listen. Jack and Jimmy hung over the upstairs railing while Benjamin walked from the living room into the battleground.

  Terri stood in front of Diana not saying a word, only blinking faster than normal. She wasn't trying to rationalize or compose her thoughts, but instead was struggling to hold onto one concrete idea. It was a manic state, and it resulted in her spitting out, “When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me before? This baby needs a father, Diana!”

  “Jesus, fuck, what is wrong with you!? Why do you care!?”

  The language might have seemed disrespectful to use toward a sober parent, but Diana didn't care, Terri was too mad to notice, and everyone else was too scared to say anything.

  “I CARE because that is my granddaughter in your belly, and I want her to grow up in a happy, loving environment. You can't provide those things on your own.”

  “A happy, loving environment!? Oh, that's good, Mom! I guess I'll never bring her over here then!”

  Terri shouted so loud you could hear her outside, “This is the only stable place she'll know! Children need both parents, Diana.”

  It was against every part of Diana's character to listen to her mother, but the comment about children needing both parents hit her hard. All her life she tried to disobey or ignore anything her mom instructed, but it became clear that somehow her opinions on relationships and family directly stemmed from what her mother preached. As she cycled through her urges for a family, successful husband, and this recent worry over being a single parent, she realized she had always been her mother, just good at hiding it.

  “Why do you even care about Cale anyway, Mom? He was always either late, drunk, or... actually, he was always both.”

  The knob of the Young's front door rattled and clicked, but a more traditional knock did not follow. Outside in the cold behind a stack of wrapped presents Cale. He was warm and standing firm thanks to the black suit, white shirt, and gray tie.

  Terri whaled, “Oh, you exaggerate things, Diana. Cale is charming. Imagine how much fun he would have been at your wedding, and all of the birthdays and family events.”

  “Ah, I see what this is about,” The doorbell rang in mid-sentence and Benjamin got up to answer it. “Dad, ignore that. I need you here. Whoever it is can wait. So that's been your motive this whole time, Mom. You wanted to show off Cale to our relatives and your friends. 'Oh, my son in law is a famous artist. His sculptures are in museums all over the world, and that somehow makes me great too.' Well you can have that soon enough with Caitlyn.”

  “Diana, you know Caitlyn's situation is different.”

  With this, Caitlyn rejoined the fray. “Wait, why is my situation different!?”

  The doorbell rang again and Benjamin gave a subtle signal to Jack to answer it.

  Terri waved her hand like a gay man doing the 'oh you' motion and said, “Oh come on, Caitlyn, we've been down this road twice before...”

  The fight raged on as the front door opened, but no one in the kitchen heard it.

  As loud as the shouting was on the outside, it grew exponentially as soon as Jack opened the door. “Cale! Diana said you weren't coming.”

  “Jackie! You know you can't believe everything your older sister...” Cale though about how cruel Caitlyn was toward Jack and added, “Your older sisters say. Just don't tell either of them I said that.”

  They both laughed, and Cale lowered his stack of presents so that Jack could grab the skinny wrapped rectangle off the top. “Go ahead, Jack. Open it now.”

  “But it's not Christmas.”

  “It's Christmas somewhere,” Cale replied parodying the old saying for drinking at early hours.

  If it was anything else but a wrapped gift, Jack's technique for opening presents would be described as precise. Every piece of tape was carefully unpeeled so that none of the wrapping paper would tear, but preciseness is never attributed when it involves a boy and wrapped presents.

  “Cale, you got me all these tradebacks!? Oh my God, All-Star Superman! I've been wanting this forever. Thanks!”

  “No prob, I also want to see those Photoshop pieces you've been working on. You wanna look at them after dinner?” Cale asked even though he was unsure if he would even make it that long.

  Diana's voice boomed from inside, “For God's sake, Mom, you're still getting a grandchild out of this!”

  Cale took a deep breath, he hadn't expected this. Getting involved in a fight between Diana and her mom usually required a drink or four.

  They walked through the foyer, past the living room, and finally, into the kitchen to find all three of the Young women squaring off with each other while the men sat back and watched. It wasn't that Benjamin, Popa, Uncle Vick, and Jimmy weren't getting involved out of amusement, it was due to fear. One who was pregnant, one who was an expert with scissors, and one who has to tell her friends that her daughter lost her boyfriend mid-pregnancy would scare even the most fearless of mediators. Actually, not all of the men were staying out of it from fear. Popa was having the time of his life.

  Terri was the first to notice Jack and Cale appear, “Cal...”

  But Diana cut her off, “Get the hell out of here!”

  Even though this demand stung, Cale didn't catch all of it because he was too surprised by the change in Diana's appearance from the last time he saw her. Her short hair and pronounced belly being the two biggest changes.

  Terri said, “Diana, don't be so hard on him. Look, he brought presents. Cale, do you want anything to drink?”<
br />
  “No thanks, Terri. Diana, can I get five minutes?”

  “No, get out.”

  Benjamin Young sidestepped over to his daughter and whispered, “You know Diana, kicking him out is good and fine, but if you don't listen to what he has to say, you'll always wonder about it.”

  Diana knew her Dad was right. It would've kept her up all night for weeks wondering why Cale was there. “Fine, you get five minutes, but whatever you have to say, you can say in front of all of us.”

  In order, Cale's thoughts:

  1.) What do I say?

  2.) Goddammit, this is your life!

  Cale's eyes never strayed from Diana's as he started, “Diana, I'm sorry. Not just for walking out or asking for an adoption, but for...I... I can't do this. I know you don't want to talk about this in front of everyone. Let me know when you're ready to talk.”

  From serious to jovial, Cale clasped his hands together and announced, “Everyone, Merry Christmas. I got you all some presents. Caitie, yours is for you and Jimmy.”

  Diana said nothing but stared at Cale, analyzing everything from head to toe. The tangible and intangible. She could tell he was sober, grounded, and most important, truthful.

  Cale smiled one last time at her and walked toward the door. On his way there, he murmured to Jack, “Email me your artwork, you can get my address from your sister.”

  And just like that, he was out the door and into the cold with only a few stars as his guide.

  “Diana, you have to go...” Terri stopped talking as her daughter walked past her and into the foyer. Diana threw on her coat, gloves, and cap, and hurried out the door. She rushed because she thought she would be chasing after the old Cale, a walking whirlwind driven by alcohol and music. But it wasn't the old Cale she was chasing after, it was the reformed version who was only a few houses up the street. A silhouette in the yellow streetlights of the suburbs.

  Cale was staring down at a full pack of cigarettes, but what he was looking for wasn't in there. What a perfect time to leave the special glass pipe out of his pack. He was miserable and alone. Two problems weed would've cured.