The Divide

by E. J. Mellow

  “To honor her memory.”

  “Yes,” Aveline says softly. “When I became partners with Dev, he had a very single-minded drive to find Metus. Normally we’re meant to patrol the surrounding area and make sure none come too close, but Dev, well, Dev took it upon himself to seek them out. I was terrified those first years, thinking each patrol was a suicide mission, but I never said anything. In a way it forced me to learn faster, made me almost as good as him.” She glances at the targets in the distance. “I only really knew him as hollow in the beginning. Like he was merely a vessel carrying out his duty and nothing more. But eventually, slowly, a spark flickered on again, and I realized how much of Dev was missing for all those years, what withered for a time after Anebel.”

  I rub my chest, attempting to subdue the ache that’s growing there.

  “Tim was the one that was around before and after. He stayed with Dev at the apartment, watching over him, and when I moved in, he decided to stay. It’s been the three of us ever since. It took a while for Dev to open up to me, but we’ve been partnered for a long time, and I’ve seen his eyes slowly resume their vibrancy, their will to live.” Her gaze bores into mine. “I won’t see that spark go out of him again. And I’m sorry to point this out, but with what you’re meant to do here, it doesn’t exactly put you in the safest of situations.”

  “Gee, thanks for the reminder.”

  “Molly, I’m serious.”

  “Yeah, so am I. I get it. Dreamer, battles, will probably die, yadda yadda. Trust me—I get it,” I say, using sarcasm to mask my very real fear of the future. “I just…I don’t know what to say to all this.”

  “You don’t need to say anything. I merely want you to hear, to understand. Dev can’t take a loss like that again, and I see the way he looks at you. I see—” She cuts herself off.

  “So what are you asking me, exactly? To be extra careful? To have Dev not like me?” I laugh humorously. “First off, I don’t have much choice in my activities around here, do I? And secondly, I have a boyfriend. Dev and I can’t be like that. We aren’t like that. So there’s nothing to worry about.”

  “Molly, don’t be dense.” She glares at me, and I’d take offense if I didn’t notice the desperation in her eyes. “It’s only too obvious how you two feel toward each other. And that’s good you have a boyfriend. Hold on to that. Because Dev…well, it nearly destroyed him the first time. He won’t survive it a second.”

  “I think that’s enough storytelling for tonight,” a deep voice says from behind us, and we both jump.

  Shit.

  Dev stands, arms tightly crossed, wearing an unreadable expression. His gaze is piercing, and in that moment, I pity Aveline for being on the receiving end of it.

  “Hey,” she says with surprising calm, “we didn’t hear you come up.”

  “Yes, it seems I interrupted a rather engrossing conversation.”

  Aveline and I lock eyes.

  “We were making amends,” she says.

  “Really?” He regards us both. “Best friends now? Good. Terra knows, it will make my life easier. I am curious though as to what caused such quick kinship…no? Not going to tell me,” he says when we both remain silent. “That’s fine. We all have secrets we’d rather keep secret. Know what I mean, Aveline?” There’s no mistaking the undertone of his contained fury. “Well, the reason I came up, besides to disrupt you and your new best friend, is to tell you that dinner is ready. A task I believe was given to Molly, but she obviously got distracted.”

  “Uh, great, thanks.” Aveline picks up her supplies, ignoring all his barbed comments. “Come on, Molly. I’ll tell you the best way to look like you’ve drank the wine Tim insists on making. He can cook like a god, but his fermenting skills, well…he has no fermenting skills.”

  She tries brushing past Dev, but he snags her arm. “We’ll be talking later,” he says in an ominously low voice, his stare unforgiving. She nods without comment, and he releases her, allowing for her quick retreat. He turns to me, his gaze like a thousand pounds of pressure bearing down. For the first time, I feel ashamed in his presence, and even with our eyes locked, he seems miles away, the carefree Dev nowhere to be found. A wall has gone up, and I’m unsure which one of us erected it. So I break away from his stare and shuffle past him.

  And he lets me.

  — 13 —

  DINNER IS A strange test of wills. Aveline does her best to pretend that everything is perfectly fine and she wasn’t just caught gossiping about an obviously delicate subject, while Tim artfully refrains from asking what’s going on. And it’s only too obvious that something’s going on.

  Dev sits at the head of the table, calmly cutting into his dinner and methodically chewing each piece. As if he needs all his movements to be slow, purposeful, or the rolling storm that seems to be coiling around his taut muscles will explode and collapse the foundation of the building.

  I push around the food on my plate, feeling utterly and completely out of place. I’ve never swum in these waters before. What do you do in a situation like this? Do you discuss the elephant in the room? Or keep letting it take giant, mammal-sized dumps everywhere and merely walk around it? Personally, I’d rather not deal with the smell.

  Dev pours himself more wine, his fourth glass, and when he brings it to his lips, we catch eyes. Immediately I look away and then feel dumb for suddenly becoming gun shy around him. Glancing back, I find him still staring at me, and he keeps staring, daring me to look away again, to show my discomfort, and in that moment I grow achingly sad for him. Seeing the change in my expression, his jaw flexes, and he tears his gaze from mine.

  “That’s good the Defense Department has a solution to the generator issue.” Tim cuts into the quiet. “Will it take very long to carry out?”

  Dev glares into his glass. “No.”

  “Wonderful! Elena will be pleased to hear it,” Tim says with way more exuberance than necessary, and Aveline animatedly nods in agreement.

  Ignoring the elephant it is.

  “So, Molly, will you do more onboarding tomorrow before you leave?” Tim asks.

  “Uh, yeah. I have another session with Elena before more physical training with Rae.”

  “Excellent. It’s really amazing how all that works, isn’t it? The ability to transfer memories into actual tangible skills. Simply fascinating. I wonder what other things the Vigil have kept secret all these years.” There’s a slight edge to his last statement, and I shift in my chair, really not ready to handle any more tension in the room.

  “Tim,” Aveline says, “I forgot to mention it earlier, but this meal is friggin’ awesome. Thanks again for cooking.”

  “Yes, thank you.” I sneak an appreciative smile at Aveline before raising my glass to toast. Being on the same side of Dev’s anger is a quick bonding mechanism, it seems.

  “Oh,” Tim beams. “It’s no problem at all.” He lifts his wine. “To hopefully many more family dinners.”

  The sound of metal scraping across the floor brings our attention to Dev standing. “Sorry to cut this nice moment short, but I’ve got to get back to City Hall. Tim, thank you for cooking. I’ll see the rest of you later.” He grabs his Arcus and quickly exits the apartment.

  Tim turns to us. “Okay, will someone please now tell me what the Metus is going on?”

  Aveline and I share a look before I stand to follow Dev.

  “I’d let him go,” she says.

  “No, this is ridiculous. I at least want to talk about what he overheard.”

  “Not a good idea!” she calls out right before I shut the front door behind me.

  “Dev!” I run to catch up to him before he enters the elevator. “Don’t you dare get in!”

  He turns around, quirking a brow. “Since when did you become so demanding?”

  “Since always,” I say, out of breath. Running with a full belly of pasta—bad idea.

  “So.” He crosses his arms over his broad chest. “To what do I owe the pleasure of
seeing you chase after me?” His gaze dances over my body like it always does, and I wonder if he’s even conscious of it anymore. Terra knows, I certainly am.

  “We should talk.”

  “Whatever about?”

  I purse my lips. “About what you heard Aveline and me discussing on the roof.”

  “And what exactly was that?”

  “Dev,” I say, slightly exasperated. “Can we drop the act for a second? You’re making me regret coming out here.”

  “Than that will make two of us.” He calls the elevator again.

  “Please. I just want to talk. I know this…is a sensitive subject, but—”

  “That’s just it—you don’t know anything about it. So don’t throw your pity party my way.”

  I flinch. “That’s not what I’m doing.”

  “No? Your sad puppy-dog eyes say differently.”

  “First of all, my eyes naturally glisten with emotion on the account of them being so big. So you’ll just have to get used to that. Think of me as an anime character.”

  “A what?”

  “Never mind, not important.” I wave my hand dismissively. “You’re right though. I don’t know anything about your past, but…I’d like to.”

  “And why’s that?”

  “Because I consider you a friend.”

  “A friend.” He seems to flip the word around in his mouth. “A friend,” he says again as his eyes travel the length of me once more, the energy in the hall suddenly shifting. “Is that what I am to you?” He takes slow, predatory steps toward me. “A platonic entity in your life?” Closer he stalks. “Someone to go shopping with? To confide in about your boyfriend?” My back hits up against the wall, and he rests his hands on either side of my head, trapping me in with his body. I feel consumed by his mass—small, and his nearness confuses my thoughts, jumbles my nerves. The sound of heavy breathing reaches my ears, and I realize it’s my own erratic intake of air. “Is that what this feels like to you, Molly?” His voice is thick and smooth, his blue gaze like a gathering storm. “Friendly?”

  The small space between us cracks and fissures, and I’m suddenly hot, too hot. Glancing up, I notice a light sheen of sweat gathering on Dev’s skin. The temperature around us shifts and rises, and I become embarrassingly aware it’s my own doing, but I’m helpless in stopping it. The side of his mouth curls up. “No, this doesn’t feel friendly at all.”

  “I…”

  “Yes?” He dares to bring his body even closer, the sweet scent of wine wafting from his lips. “You what?”

  “I…I need some space.”

  He doesn’t move an inch. Instead his eyes follow a bead of my sweat as it slides down my neck and between my breasts, which peak out from my shirt.

  The temperature spikes.

  “Dev, please,” I whisper, ignoring the flickering illumination of the hallway that matches my racing heart.

  He stays silent, letting the space grow hotter and hotter, the lights to pulse more erratically. I want to scream at my powers for betraying me in this moment.

  “Let’s make a deal,” he finally says. “I’ll tell you all my secrets, the truth of my sins, and regrets, losses and desires”—his gaze lingers on my lips—“when you finally tell yourself the truth.”

  “About what?”

  “About what I really am to you. And let me give you a hint,” he continues when he sees me about to respond. “It’s not a friend.” He pushes off from the wall and calls the elevator. I stay pressed against the solid structure as the doors open. “I’d get some air if I were you. From the feel of it, you seem a little hot and bothered.”

  My cheeks flame as I glare at his smug face, instinctively willing the elevator to shake with him inside. I gain satisfaction when his eyes widen in shock. “And I’d be more careful who you piss off,” I bite out, making the doors slide shut, but not before catching his delighted grin.

  I think I actually growl.

  Wiping the sweat from my brow, I replay Dev’s “not a friend” point he rather dramatically made very clear, and one my body oh-too-obviously agreed with.

  Shit.

  Using my powers, I change the air to icy and try pushing away my instinct to analyze. When you finally tell yourself the truth about what I really am to you. The truth. What is the truth? No, don’t go there! There’s Jared, god damn it. Sweet, wonderful, not-an-ounce-aggravating Jared. Dragging my hands over my face, I groan. This couldn’t be just a little easy for me, could it?

  Taking a deep breath, I head back to the apartment. Aveline was certainly right about one thing, chasing after Dev—absolutely terrible idea. Leaving to go home tomorrow couldn’t have come at a better time.

  — 14 —

  I RUB MY eyes, trying to rid them of the sting that I’m slowly growing accustomed to feeling after receiving Dreamers’ memories.

  “That last one was a bit intense.” I slowly sit up.

  “Yes, that battle was one of our biggest here in Terra.” Elena returns the containers of memories to their designated places in the wall.

  “I can’t imagine being a Dreamer during a World War…to have to live such despair while sleeping and being awake. How do they not go insane?”

  “You’re a very brave group and were chosen for a reason.”

  “I really don’t know if I’m that brave. I’ve definitely jumped onto a chair when I thought I saw a mouse in my apartment.”

  Elena smiles. “Brave when it matters most.” She unhooks the heart-rate monitor from my finger. “Plus, we have ways of calming Dreamers down if absolutely necessary.”

  “What do you mean? Like a sedative?”

  “Something like that.”

  “What would make you want to do that?”

  She steals a glance my way, waiting a beat before answering. “Sometimes the limitless power of the imagination can be a bit much for certain individuals to control. It can bring out a…dangerous aspect in a person.”

  I swallow. “So…meaning they went power hungry and got a little too Pinky and The Brain, ‘let’s take over the world,’ on everything?”

  “I don’t know what this Pinky and The Brain is, but yes, you could say that’s how they got.”

  “Well, that’s not terrifying or anything.” I rub my palm over my thigh as I think about my powers. “But in a way…in a way I can see how it could happen. The Navitas, well, it can be very seductive.”

  “Yes,” Elena agrees. “That’s one of its tools in pulling out one’s deepest desires. It seduces out the very core of an idea to bring it life. That’s why the Dreamers who come to us are meant to have a balance of both light and dark. Having too much in either direction can cause catastrophic consequences when connected with the Navitas here.”

  “Interesting.” The idea that I have a balanced inner consciousness seems rather comical. Becca would certainly be rolling around on the floor right about now if she heard this, considering she thinks I have a few screws loose, since I have habit of stubbing out others’ discarded cigarettes thrown on the street, yet have no issue spitting my gum out the window while driving.

  “Speaking of Navitas”—I swing my legs around to dangle off the chair—“when will I be shown the Dreamers that have dealt with seeing it in people.”

  Elena stops typing. “What do you mean?”

  “The Navitas in people. You know, the energy I can see flowing in all of you.”

  She grows very still. “You can see our life’s energy?”

  “Um, yeah.”

  “Right now? You can see mine right now?”

  I flip my eyesight to the other plane, something I’ve easily been able to do since the day I saw a Metus consume the Nocturna, Cree. Elena’s life energy, as she called it, is surprisingly bright, brighter than Dev’s and Rae’s. It’s also thicker in her veins, the blue-white strands more protective around each of her organs, like armor. No matter how many times I shift to this plane, the beauty of it always mesmerizes me, the life it represents, the soul o
f the person in front of me. I switch back to my normal vision.

  “Yes, I can see yours, and it’s actually brighter than the others. Why is that?”

  She’s silent.

  “Elena?” I ask, growing concerned. “Is something wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “We have to end our session early today.” She abruptly turns off all the equipment, and I have to jump up from the chair to keep from falling onto the floor with it.

  “What? Why?”

  “There’s something I have to look into.”

  “About me seeing the Navitas in people? Is that bad?” Okay, panic definitely setting in. She walks to the exit without answering, and I follow. “Elena, you’re freaking me out. What am I supposed to do now?”

  “Start your next session with Rae,” she instructs as Alec steps into the doorframe right as it opens.

  “But what about meditating? Don’t I need to do that first?”

  “Yes, yes, do that,” she says distractedly as her guards surround her and quickly usher her to wherever she’s in a hurry to go.

  Well, crap. I glance to Alec. “What just happened?”

  He shrugs as if to say my guess is as good as his.

  “I think I said something wrong.” I head back into the giant domed room. “Do you think I said something wrong?”

  “I don’t think you could ever say anything wrong,” Alec replies neutrally.

  “Oh, you smooth man, you. Don’t you know flattery will get you everywhere?”

  His smile almost peeks through at that one. Damn, so close. I take a seat on the floor and cross my legs. Looking at Alec standing stoically on guard by the wall, I pat the space beside me. “Why don’t you join me?”