The Doom Diva Mysteries Books 1

by Sherry M. Siska

  The sign for it was tiny, consisting of only the name and an arrow pointing around to the rear. Charli navigated through the parking lot and drove around to the back. There was a smaller parking lot there and a steep, black, wrought iron spiral staircase going up to the second floor entrance. Model Magnifica was etched into the glass-fronted door in small, all lower case letters. It was almost like they didn’t want anyone to know they were there.

  We climbed the stairs and found the door was locked. Charli pressed a button on an intercom panel next to the door and a disembodied voice came over the speaker. “Yes?”

  “Hi, I’m Charlene Carsky here with my client Marty O’Neal. We have an appointment at one with A.J.”

  The voice didn’t reply, but the door clicked and we opened it and went inside. The interior of the building was stark white and featured a glass table serving as a receptionist desk, a couple of uncomfortable looking black modern chairs, and huge prints of photographs, all of them featuring Tessa in various poses, all of them artsy and showy. She was nude in several of them. They were not, however, sensual in any way. Instead they were disturbing.

  Her face and body had been coated with white make-up and the photos were all in black and white, except for bright red lipstick and weird day-glow colored eye-make-up. Her thinness made the photos even more freakish. She had almost no breasts and appeared pre-pubescent. Her eyes were glassy, giving her a zoned-out appearance. I couldn’t help but wonder what secrets Model Magnifica’s back room hid since the stuff out front was so graphic.

  The receptionist barely acknowledged our presence, but waved her hand toward the chairs. I took it to mean we were to sit, so we did. The chairs didn’t just look uncomfortable, they were.

  We ended up waiting for almost an hour. Finally, a buzzer sounded from the desk and the receptionist, who’d spent the whole time we were there staring at a laptop screen, just staring, not typing or clicking or anything, motioned for us to go through a white door and into the rear of the studio.

  It was a studio, too. A large, stark white room with banks of lights and props everywhere and those big umbrella-like screen things used to direct the light. On one wall were several more of the gigantic prints of Tessa, all similar to the ones hanging out front, but even more graphic and strange.

  In the very back, sitting at a desk, was Alejandro. He stared at us, not saying a word until we were right next to him. Even then he just motioned for us to sit down.

  “So you’re A.J.,” I said. “I guess I should have put two and two together earlier.”

  He scowled. “I have no use for you as you are. You must be made over. Then, we talk. Let me know when you decide.” He waved his hand as if to dismiss us, like I’d seen Giselle do to him. Little kid kicking the dog after big brother kicks him, I guess. That’s what it seemed like, anyway.

  “I told you, I don’t need fixing. And even if I did, I can’t afford it.”

  “No charge.”

  Charli took over. “No charge? For anything? Including the head sheets and composites?”

  I was impressed. Charli was talking like she really was a manager.

  “Correct. And makeovers for free. For both of you. Although you don’t really need much. She, on the other hand….” he waggled his fingers in my direction.

  Charli sighed. “I know. I did the best I could with her today. She’s got great bone structure and such a pretty face, but that hair!”

  “Precisely. We’ll need to do everything. Hair, brows, make-up. Everything. Monday. Two o’clock. Both of you will walk out as stars. We’ll take some test shots and they will be beautiful. Magnificent because I am magnificent. Until then, nothing.”

  His cell buzzed the same tone mine does when I get a text. He glanced down and read it. An odd expression came over his face. Suddenly, he stood up and motioned for us to be on our way. I tried to stall, asking to use the restroom, but he shooed us away, telling me to use the one out front.

  “What on earth just happened,” I asked my sister as we carefully negotiated the tight spiral of the stairs.

  “I don’t know, but he was really nervous after he got that text. We have to go back, spend some time. I’m convinced that this place is the key to why Sabrina was killed. She knew something or found out something. We don’t have a choice, Marty. We’ve got to do those makeovers. The shop’s closed on Mondays, so we can both go. I’ll get a sitter. That way, we can do the divide and conquer thing. I’ve heard they have private rooms. Maybe one or both of us can find a way to sneak out and upstairs.”

  I knew in my gut she was right. I knew it as strongly as I’d ever known anything.

  “Charli, Monday when Ed gave me that card, he acted like he didn’t know Alejandro when he saw him. Obviously, if he was scouting for the agency, he had to have met him before. Why would he have done that?”

  “Are you sure? Maybe he was just surprised to see him.”

  I tried to remember exactly what Big Ed had asked me when he saw Alejandro. “Maybe. I think he said something like, “who’s the little guy?”, but I’m not really sure.”

  She put her hand out to steady me as I stumbled on the last step. “You think Ed is involved, don’t you?”

  “Yes. He’s not come to work since Monday. He’s clearly avoiding me. I saw him three times and he’s dashed away from me every single time.”

  “Maybe we should swing by his house and have a little talk. We can pick up some chicken soup and you can pretend like you’re worried about him.”

  I agreed that it was a good idea. Of course, since everything I’d thought of as being a good idea for the past couple of years had turned out to be just the opposite, I probably should have taken that as my cue to not do it. But, to throw out yet another of Mom’s mixed up sayings, hindsight is like looking in a rear-view mirror while counting your chickens before they’re hatched.

  17

  Ed lived in a single-wide in a trailer park called “River’s View”, which was, duh, out by the river. We swung by the grocery store and I bought a container of chicken soup, some crackers, a couple of chocolate chip cookies, and one of the music industry magazines I’d seen Ed read.

  “There, that one,” I told Charli. “The white one with the rusty looking brown stripe around the bottom and the dead palm tree on the front porch.” His lot was near the back of the small park and he’d planted trees and shrubs around it to give himself the illusion of privacy.

  “I don’t see Ed’s truck. He must not be home,” Charli said. “Unless he’s come into some money. Maybe he traded up for that Beemer.” She pointed at a late model, silver BMW parked in front of the trailer across from Ed’s.

  “No, he’s still got the old Ranger. He parked around back. See, the tail-end of it is sticking out.”

  Charli waited in her vehicle while I knocked on the door. I heard someone cross over to it, but he must have peeked out and decided to continue to avoid me, because it grew really quiet inside.

  “Ed, hey, this is me, Marty. I’ve brought you some soup and a magazine.”

  Nothing. Not a sound.

  I called out again, and knocked a couple more times, but he continued to pretend to not be home. I put the soup and stuff down next to the door, but decided the chocolate chip cookies looked too good to share. I stuck them in my pocket. “Okay, well, I’m just going to leave this stuff here for you, in case you are naked or something. Hope you feel better.”

  I went back to the car. “I know he was there. Do you think it would be wrong to go around back and have a look around?” I asked my sister.

  “Of course not. It’s not like we’re going to steal anything. In fact, I think we need to check on him, make sure he’s not passed out on the floor and in need of medical attention or anything,” Charli said. “Just think how bad we’d feel if something has happened to him.”

  Rationalization exhibit B.

  Since we were already in for the penny, I figured why the heck stop there. We might as well pound the nail right
on into the coffin.

  “You’re right. He could have had a heart attack or a stroke or have food poisoning or.…” I couldn’t think of additional potential maladies Big Ed might have succumbed to that would justify spying on him, so I shut up.

  Charli pulled around the bend just out of sight of the trailer and parked under a tree next to the river bank. It had rained hard the night before, so the ground was pretty muddy. We hopped out and snuck down toward Ed’s place, creeping along the river bank, dodging the muddiest spots, avoiding the ducks and geese trailing after us hoping for a handout.

  I stopped and squatted when I reached Ed’s truck, a “seen-better-days”, black Ranger. He obviously parked back there most of the time because there were several large mud-filled ruts dotting the yard.

  One of the ducks, apparently the leader of the troop, boldly waddled right up to me and, apparently having sniffed out the cookies, pecked at my pocket. I tried shooing it away, but it was intent on its mission. The rest of the flock surrounded us and set up a loud ruckus of quacking and hissing, making me a nervous wreck. What if Ed looked out his back window to see what all the commotion was about? Worse, what if they all attacked me?

  I sacrificed the cookies, tossing them as far as I could. That distracted the birds long enough to negotiate my way around them. I motioned to Charli to let her know that I was going to peek in the small kitchen window. She nodded and headed for the living room’s back window. The ducks were fighting over the cookies so, thankfully, stayed back.

  Ed had retrieved the food and sat at a cool, retro, red Formica and chrome table, chowing down on the soup and leafing through the magazine. I wondered again why he was avoiding me and was about to stop spying and go back around and insist he open up and let me in, when I heard Charli gasp. I glanced over and she scooched down, motioning for me to do the same. She crawled over, grabbed my arm, and tugged.

  “We have to go. Now!” she whispered. “Hurry! I think she saw me.”

  I followed Charli, crawling on all fours as fast as I could back toward the truck. As soon as she reached it, she stood up and took off. I popped up, took off running, renewing the ducks’ interest in me, scrambled around three of them, saw the muddy hole, and tried to hurdle it.

  Unsuccessfully, of course.

  The birds surrounded me, squawking and pecking, and scaring the crap out of me. I covered my eyes with one hand and flailed at them with the other. Charli, bless her heart, saw my predicament and ran back for me. She reached out and yanked on my hand. It would have been a good idea, except that I was in the process of standing up and was leaning the opposite direction. The momentum pulled her toward me and we both landed in the muddy furrow.

  Two of the ducks flapped their wings and scurried off. The rest of them stood their ground, determined to get more cookies. Charli and I flopped around in the mud, swatting at them. Finally, we were somehow able to get up and resume our flight.

  Honestly, I’m not sure why we bothered to run. If Ed or his woman had looked out the window, there was no way they would have missed seeing us at that point. I’m sure if they had seen us, they were in the trailer laughing their butts off, first at the sight of our ridiculous attempt at duck-wrangling, and then our bad imitation of mud-wrestling.

  I was gasping for air when we reached Charli’s SUV, and leaned against the door while she unlocked it.

  “No!”she said when I opened the door after I heard the lock pop open. “You’re filthy. I’ve got baby wipes. Let me get them.”

  I finally sucked in enough air to actually speak a complete thought. “Who was she? Did you recognize her?”

  Charli came around the front of her SUV and tossed the wipes to me. “Carole. It was that Carole girl. I thought she said she was going to Charlottesville!”

  I stared at my sister, not comprehending. “You’re sure? Maybe it was just someone who resembled her.”

  “No. I’m positive it was her. She had on the same clothes. When we saw her at Albertino’s she had on a grey business suit with a rose colored blouse. That blouse came from Macy’s. Not that it matters. What if she saw me? How on earth are we going to explain what we were doing peeking into his windows? Or rolling around in a mud bog in his backyard, fighting off all those ducks?”

  “Look, no one is coming. I’m sure she didn’t see you. And if she did, and she says anything, we’ll lie about it. Truthfully, I doubt she’ll say a word. She clearly lied herself about going to Charlottesville. The question is, why? To get out of inventorying the apartment?”

  “Maybe. Or maybe she’s involved in the murder or found out about it somehow, and is trying to help cover it up.”

  “Can you imagine Tim’s reaction if that’s true? He will totally freak out if the girl he’s crushing on turns out to be in cahoots with Big Ed. Or a criminal.”

  It required a lot of wipes to clean off the mud, and the duck poo. We did the best we could, getting the worst of it, but our clothes and shoes were caked. We had no choice but to strip to our undies. Charli wrapped our shoes and clothes in some old newspapers she found stacked next to a trash container.

  “Man, I hope we don’t get stopped on the way home for speeding or have a wreck or anything. I’d hate to have to stand alongside the road in my panties and bra. Imagine trying to explain that,” Charli said, as she lifted the back gate so we could put the muddy items back there.

  “Yeah. That’ll be our luck. And of course, you just know that Mom would somehow find out. We’d never hear the end of it.”

  That time, the little thing didn’t bother to sting. She sat on the end of my nose, cackling away. I was really, really going to have to stop giving them ideas.

  18

  Oh, we didn’t get pulled over by a cop or have a wreck.

  Nope, it was a flat tire.

  Charli evidently drove over a nail or something back at the trailer park. The good thing was that we were not in the middle of town when it happened. The bad thing was that we knew we had to call for help and John was on his way to Cincinnati. There was no way we were going to call Tim or one of our folks. While we were sitting on the side of the road, arguing about what to do, Mom made it a moot point.

  She pulled in behind Charli’s vehicle and popped on her blinkers.

  “Great,” Charli said. “This is going to be a nightmare.”

  As right as she was about that, it was about to get even worse. Thirty seconds later, Tim pulled in behind Mom’s car and popped on his blinkers.

  My door opened. As soon as I’d seen the two of them stop, I’d prayed for a miracle. One that included our managing to get the tire changed, get to Charli’s house, and remove the rest of the mud and duck crap before having to face him or Mom. Clearly, my prayers had not been answered.

  “Hey,” he said. “I had PT and finished up a little early and when I saw y’all pulled over I…what in the world is that all over you? Where are your clothes?”

  I looked down and pretended to be surprised to find myself half-naked, coated with a fine layer of dried mud and duck feces.

  Mom was on Charli’s side peering in the driver’s side window at us. “Goodness gracious, girls! What on earth have you been doing? Y’all are both covered. And Timothy asked a great question. Why are you in your undergarments?”

  Charli didn’t bother trying to pretend to be surprised “We had a little accident. We were down by the river and Marty started slipping and I grabbed her and we both landed in the mud. We took off our clothes and shoes so we didn’t get the car all dirty. I must have run over something, because I have a flat.” Her face was neon pink, but she kept her chin up. She also didn’t meet either of their eyes.

  Tim scratched his head. “The river? What were y’all doing at the river? Hey, are you wearing make-up?” he asked.

  Charli started spewing out some long-winded story about our being at the river to “clear our heads” making it sound like I was on the verge of a mental breakdown until she, Charli, came to my rescue. I didn’t bother l
istening to the whole thing.

  As for Tim, I took my cue from Charli and kept my chin held high, ignoring him and all his questions, letting my sister do all the talking.

  After a few more questions and a lot of sighing, Mom eventually drove over to Charli’s and brought us back some old clothes to put on. We dressed in the car, then stood by the side of the road, filthy and embarrassed, while Tim changed out the tire.

  When we got back to Charli’s I continued avoiding Tim’s questions, marched myself into the house, back to the guest bathroom, and hopped in the shower. I stayed in as long as I could, hoping when I came back out, they’d both have gone away.

  Thankfully, Mom had, but not without first giving Charli a long-winded lecture about how she was slipping and if she didn’t watch it, she’d be wallowing in more than a big old puddle full of mud. That, in fact, if we weren’t careful, Charli and I would be right up there with Cousin Gertie Sheffield.

  Gertie, my dad’s fourth cousin twice removed, had been blessed with six toes on each foot, and had a thick, black mustache. She had traveled around the country, appearing as a carnival side show, after marrying a guy who billed himself as “Two-Faced Tony”. Charli cried when she told me about it later. I didn’t. Mom had been warning me about how I was in danger of becoming like Gertie for the past fifteen years.

  When I padded my way back to Charli’s family room, freshly scrubbed, Tim was sprawled across her sofa, engrossed in a game show, and munching cookies. I decided to head him off by doing a bit of a conversational dodge.

  “Flowers, hunh? You must really like her.”

  He handed me one of the cookies. “So what if I do? What’s it to you?”

  “Nothing, really. Just making conversation. Charli and I ran into her at Albertino’s. She was having lunch with Herb, believe it or not. Told me to tell you thanks since she hadn’t been able to reach you and was on her way to Charlottesville for the night. Or so she said. I was really surprised to see her over at Big Ed’s. Charli and I ran by there so I could check up on him. He was still too sick to come to work last night and I was worried about him.”