The Surgeon Was a Lady

by Paul Kelly

  ***

  Staff Nurse Gifford laid her trolley with great precision and even greater care, checking her swabs and forceps and ensuring that she had the correct cat-guts for suturing. She scanned the array of glittering, sterile instruments and sighed.

  “I will have to pull myself together, otherwise I might just as well report sick and get someone to stand in for me,” she said as she helped Willie get ready for the operation.

  “I can give you something to settle your nerves, if you want, Nurse... but I’d rather not,” Willie looked straight into Nurse Gifford’s eyes as she made her suggestion, compelling her to take attention to her meaning.

  “No... Why of course not. I’ll be alright. I’m just being silly. Sorry Doctor.”

  “You are not being silly, Nurse... but keep your mind on what you’re doing and you’ll be fine. You’ll see.”

  ***

  Emily was brought down to the Theatre around two o’clock that afternoon. The porters left the trolley in the waiting room whilst Willie made a last examination, testing Emily’s heart and checking her blood pressure.

  “Has she had her pre-medication?” she asked “It says nothing about it in her notes.” Nurse Gifford nodded.

  “In the ward... before she came here,” she answered, but her voice was weak.

  Everything was in order to proceed when suddenly Willie realized that there had been no signature to the consent form for the operation to be carried out.

  “Nurse Gifford?”

  “Yes Doctor?” Gifford answered nervously.

  “There doesn’t appear to be a signature of consent here. Would you be the one to do that?... Are you her next of kin?”

  Nurse Gifford fidgeted with the tapes of her Theatre gown, trying to tie them around her waist.

  “I would think Ryan should be next of kin, Doctor... He is her husband,” she replied as Willie was about to scrub-up.

  “Well, we’d better get him here as quickly as possible. I want to start as soon as I can,” she said as Nurse Gifford straightened her gown around her.

  “He’s outside Doctor. He’s been waiting around the ward all morning and now he’s sitting outside. I saw him just a few minutes ago.”

  “Well can you get him to sign the form, Nurse?”

  Nurse Gifford coughed lightly and made her excuse why she could not leave the Theatre as her gown was sterile, but as she started to remove it, Willie stopped her.

  “OK Nurse... I’ll go... I still haven’t scrubbed-up yet. You say his name is Ryan... and he’s waiting outside... I hope there’s only one Ryan.”

  Willie went out into the corridor and could only see one young man, obviously feeling very sorry for himself as he sat with his head in his hands.

  “Are you Ryan?” she asked, “Emily’s husband?”

  She stared at the man who sat in front of her as he raised his head.

  “Oh my God... It’s you... I didn’t know you’d be... “ she straightened herself and thrust the consent form into his hands. “You’ll have to sign for the operation... You are over twenty-one, I suppose,” she added sarcastically and he reached out and took the paper from her.

  “Do you have a pen please?” he asked softly and Willie reached into the pocket of her gown.

  “Here... now please be quick. We have a long operation in front of us and I don’t want to waste any time.”

  “She will be alright, Doctor... won’t she?” he asked, staring up at Willie with hope in his eyes as he rubbed the end of his nose with the back of his hand and Willie felt sorry for him as she stood there. She could give him no guarantees, but her mind went back for a moment where she stood at the swimming pool in the hospital compound and the young blonde man had tried to chat her up in the pool.

  ‘Come on in... It’s lovely in here... Jump and I’ll catch you... ‘ he had said...

  ‘Let’s have a look...”

  ‘That’s all your getting,’ she remembered her reply.

  ‘Wanna bet?’ he answered... Wanna bet? Wanna bet? Wanna bet?’

  “Just sign the form please, she asked again... That was the night Mrs. Clarkston had died... she remembered...

  “Sign it!” she demanded and her voice was hard.

  The operation went along smoothly. There were no hitches... no hiccups... everything went according to plan and Willie sighed with relief when she put in the last superficial suture at exactly four minutes past seven in the evening.

  “Can you manage to bandage her, Nurse,” she asked, “Or would you rather I did it?...” but Nurse Gifford was only too willing to oblige as she hastened with the crepe bandage and performed an admirable work of art around her young sister’s head.

  “Nurse...” Willie slipped out of her gown and threw her gloves into the waste bin. “Nurse... that young man outside. I mean, Emily’s husband. Didn’t he used to work here in the hospital?”

  “Yes, Ryan was a porter here for a while. He worked for about six months at the hospital some time ago and that’s where he met Emily. She used to go round with the junior library. You know the kids who volunteer to take books round the wards.”

  Willie nodded and slipped her mask from her face.

  “But you said he was a plumber, didn’t you?”

  “Yes... He is a plumber... well, still in training as I said before. He had to get a better job when he married Emily... you know with the baby coming an’ that.”

  “I see...”

  “Do you remember him from that time when he was here as a porter, Doctor?”

  Willie washed her hands and shook them dry before she wiped them with a spirit swab.

  “Yes, I thought I remembered the face... I just wasn’t sure if it was the same person.”

  “Good lookin’ fellow, isn’t he Doctor? All the nurses were after him when he was working here.”

  “Willie stared blankly at the wall, as she pressed her foot down hard on the pedal bin and threw her spirit swab inside, before reaching for a second one.

  “Yes... yes, I suppose he is good looking... in a way. I hadn’t really noticed,” she said dryly, but there was a strange glint in her eye... a hint of expectancy as she made her way out into the corridor when they had taken Emily back to the ward, but Ryan had gone when she arrived.

  “Nurse, I’m just going up to the ward to see if Emily is OK I’ll be back shortly... and don’t forget to log the time it took for the operation to be completed. Will you be alright here on your own? The list for tomorrow is on the tray on my desk.”

  Nurse Gifford was happy... She didn’t mind now what she did nor how long it took to do it. Emily was safe... at least for the time being. The worst was over and she could only hope... and with Doctor Fehrenbach being so kind, taking so much care as to go up to the ward to see if her sister was alright. That was something she didn’t expect... That was surplus to the requirements and she hadn’t remembered her doing that before...

  “Sure Doctor... I’ll be fine here... and Doctor... Thanks again for everything.”

  Willie smiled and left the Theatre.

  ***

  Ryan was sitting on a bench outside Ward Seven and jumped to his feet when he saw Willie approaching.

  “They won’t let me in to see Emily... not just yet,” he said, “But they tell me she’s alright. Are you?... Can you?... I mean, could you please go in there and let me know how she is, Doctor?”

  His face was harrowed and his eyes looked tired as he sported the stubble of a couple of day’s growth, she thought as she looked at him.

  “I’ll let you know... but you must realize that she will be under the anaesthetic for some time yet. At least another couple of hours, I would say. The operation took nearly five.”

  Ryan’s lips twitched nervously into a smile

  “I
know... I’ve been there outside the Theatre all the time,” he said quietly and Willie swallowed hard as she touched his shoulder.

  “Why don’t you go along to the canteen and get yourself a cup of tea or something. I’ll be along shortly and I’ll let you know how she is. Go on.”

  “If you don’t mind, Doctor, I’d rather wait here.” he replied and she shrugged her shoulders and went into the ward.

  ***

  Emily lay white and still, almost without breathing as Willie approached the bed. The evening had grown dark and the lights glimmered above the sad scene of so many patients who lingered in the twilight between life and death. She looked around, but there was no sign of any activity. Only a few loud snores depicted any life in that dormitory of stillness.

  “Nurse... Are you on duty here,” Willie called out as one of the nurses appeared from the sluice.

  “Yes Doctor. Can I help you?”

  Willie pointed an angry finger at Emily’s bed.

  “This patient has only just been brought up from the Theatre. I don’t see anyone by her bed... She should be looked after until she comes round from the anaesthetic. Did you know that?”

  “Yes Doctor. I’m sorry Doctor, but I had a lady who needed a bedpan and I had to run.”

  “Aren’t there any other nurses on this ward?”

  “Yes Doctor... but...”

  “But nothing... Nurse. I’ll wait here and I want you to go and get me any other nurse who should be on duty on this ward... and I mean now... Understand?

  The young nurse fidgeted nervously with her apron.

  “But Doctor...”

  “I said NO BUTS, nurse NO BUTS,” she shouted and then realized that her voice could be heard all through the ward and one of the regular ‘snorers’ went suddenly quiet.

  “Yes Doctor...”

  The nurse left the ward and returned a few minutes after with another nurse who looked extremely agitated.

  “I’m sorry, Doctor,” she said and her voice trembled, “I should have been here, but we’ve had four new admissions in the last hour and we are supposed to be in charge of Wards Seven and Eight... There are only two of us and I have telephoned the office to see if we can get some assistance with your patient.”

  Willie stared at her for a few moments before she fully realized the situation... and then she calmed down.

  “Carry on nurse with what you are doing. I will see to it myself that my patient is taken care of until she comes round. Leave it to me.”

  Willie wondered what she could have done that would have been any help after having promised that she would settle the problem... short of marching down to the office and demanding an extra nurse. She went into the corridor.

  “Ryan?”

  Emily’s husband turned round to face her.

  “How is she Doctor? How is Emily?”

  Willie ignored his enquiries as she stared at him.

  “Ryan... You’ve been a porter in this hospital, so you must know something of the work that goes on here. Emily is OK but as I said, it will be some time before she comes out of the anaesthetic and we are rather short of night nurses.” He stared at her and swallowed hard. “You could stay with your wife,” she went on, “and look after her until she comes round, couldn’t you?”

  Ryan gave a deep sigh and smiled.

  “Thanks Doctor. I’ll take the greatest care of her. The nurses needn’t worry, I assure you.”

  Willie and Ryan went into the ward and the two duty nurses stood aside as they went to Emily’s bed.

  “If you need anything, Ryan... Anything... Use that phone... Just dial 7... the number seven, do you understand and that will take you straight through to the Theatre. Nurse Gifford or I will be there for the next three or four hours. Do you understand?”

  “I’ve done this type of work before, Doctor,” he replied, “I know about the mouth gags and how to remove the tube if she stirs. I’ll be careful. I wouldn’t want anyone else to be with my Emily at this time anyway. Thank you.”

  Willie left him, knowing that he would indeed be the best person to attend to his wife. His past experience with anaesthetized patients and his love of Emily gave him adequate qualifications and she returned to Theatre One where Staff Nurse Gifford was still working in preparation for the following day’s list.

  ***

  “You can leave any time now Nurse. I’ve told the ward to get in touch with me here, if they should need me. I’ve got a lot of paper work to do, so I’ll need to be here for quite some time yet.”

  Nurse Gifford glanced at her watch.

  “I’ll get you another coffee before I go... and I wish there was more I could do... to say Thank you... “ she said as she removed her Theatre cap and shook her hair free.

  “You’ve done enough here Nurse and I don’t forget how you came in to help me with Paul.”

  Nurse Gifford ran her fingers through her hair.

  “I’m so sorry about that Doctor. You’ve done so much to help so many others here in this hospital... and yet...”

  Willie studied her hands. They shook a little.

  “You get off home now, Nurse and pray that Emily will be OK.”

  “Oh, you do think she will be alright, don’t you, Doctor?”

  “Of course I do... but I’m not God and He alone has the final word. You know that, so pray... and as I’ve said, I’m sure everything will be alright in the end.”

  Nurse Gifford changed into her outdoor clothes.

  “Oh... I’ve just remembered I’ll have to get Ryan. I promised him I’d give him a lift home. Do you know where he might be?”

  Willie closed her eyes as if she didn’t want to say any more... she didn’t want Nurse Gifford to have any worrying ideas about her brother-in-law.

  “He’s with Emily. I asked him to stay with her until she comes out of the anaesthetic. He’ll be alright and anyway, I think he is happier doing that and being close to her as sitting at home alone. Don’t you think?”

  “You think of everything... You really do, Doctor Fehrenbach. I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight Doctor.”

  “Goodnight Nurse... Take care and sleep well.”

  ***

  Willie sat down and cuddled her warm cup of coffee as she thought again over the day’s events. She thought of Paul and how she wished he had been with her when she was so lonely and no-one else could ever take his place. She thought of Ryan and how she had imagined she had some sort of a thing going for him when they lay together naked that night in her hospital flat... but that was hundreds of years ago... She thought of how she had imagined he might be the answer to all her problems... all her anxieties in those sad days when she was so wrapped up in all her worries... When all her happiness was only a few little yards away, if only she had taken the trouble to look and see...

  ‘I’m waiting for my yacht to be painted.’

  She heard Ryan say again and she smiled sadly as she pushed her hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. What was it she had answered him?

  ‘Even the moon is at your command.’

  She had said in that intoxicating moment of silly madness.

  ‘You like walking in the moonlight, don’t you?’

  ‘Do you kiss when you make love?’

  Willie threw back her head and screamed as the tears ran down her cheeks with the shame that she felt in her heart.

  “Oh Paul, Paul my darling... What have I done to you? What made me the person I was when I should have loved you as you loved me? I see now how I have ruined my life with my selfishness. How can I ever know happiness ever again, my darling... when you are not with me?” she cried and at that moment the telephone rang sharply, making her jump. She stared at it with fear in her eyes. Afraid to lift the receiver although she knew she m
ust...

  “Yes... Who is it?”

  “It’s me Doctor... Ryan Marshall... You know, Emily’s husband.”

  Willie held her breath and closed her eyes, expecting the worst. Why ever else would he have phoned. He knew this was an emergency number... she had told him so.

  “Ryan...” she spoke above a whisper... “What’s wrong?”

  “There’s nothing wrong, Doctor. Emily is still sleeping soundly and everything looks OK I’m just ringing to tell you that there’s another nurse here now, so they don’t need me to sit by the bedside any more.” Willie sighed with relief... She wanted to cry, as Ryan continued to talk nervously down the phone. “Doctor, the Staff Nurse here told me that I can stay as long as I want. They tell me I can sit in the side ward... there’s nobody in there... I think they use it for isolation or something. I hope that’s alright with you. I just don’t want to go home. I keep pacing about like a lion that’s lost his cub. I just can’t go home alone.” He stared to cry.

  “Ryan... Ryan, don’t cry... Don’t panic. Do what the Staff Nurse has suggested and try if you can, to lie down and get some rest, even if you can’t sleep. They will call you if they need to and I’ll be along in about half an hour, just to see that everything is OK.”

  “Thanks Doctor... Doctor?”

  “Yes Ryan?”

  “Doctor... I’m so sorry... sorry for everything.”

  “You’ve nothing to be sorry about Ryan... Emily will be alright and you’ll have your little baby and...”

  “That’s not what I mean, Doctor... I’m sorry for the pest I made of myself in the past... at the swimming pool an’ that.”

  Willie laughed with an infectious chuckle which made Ryan laugh too.

  “Forget all that Ryan. Your life is different now. You’re settled and you really love someone and you can’t wish for more than that, can you? See you shortly. Bye.”

  ***

  Willie approached the bed with the new nurse sitting quietly and composed under the dim light of the night lamp.

  “Glad to see you here, Nurse,” she whispered, “Usual procedure please... T.P.Rs every half hour. You’ll see the medical instructions on Emily’s’ chart and be sure to call me if you think it necessary, yes?”