by Paul Kelly
The nurse smiled sweetly.
“Yes Doctor. I understand.”
“Good... Now can you synchronize your watch with mine? What time do you make it?”
The nurse studied her watch under the dim lamp.
“I make it... er... two minutes past ten o’clock, Doctor,” she said and Willie amended her watch to suite as she was a minute slow. She made a last minute check over Emily, especially with the head bandage, but everything was fine and there was no apparent bleeding.
“Watch the bandages carefully nurse. Check them thoroughly and the slightest sign of bleeding... I want to know.”
As she left the main ward and walked quietly to the small side ward, she thought again of Mrs. Clarkston and shuddered... then she thought of the last days of her honeymoon with Paul.
***
“Are you alright?” she whispered as Ryan lay still on top of the bedclothes, fully dressed in the side ward, but with his shoes tucked under his knees. He shook his head swiftly from side to side and opened his eyes.
“I didn’t hear you come in an’ I’ve been trying to keep awake,” he said as he took a deep breath and sat up, looking down at his feet and shoving one behind the other so that his big toe couldn’t be seen peeping at her from his sock. “Is Emily alright?” he asked, rubbing his eyes and pushing his fingers hard against the lids.
“She should be OK but as we know, it’s early days yet. Why don’t you get into bed properly and get your head down for a little while. We’ll call you if we need you.”
Ryan shook his head again, but slowly this time.
“The baby... The baby will be alright, won’t he?”
Willie raised her eyebrows and grinned mischievously.
“You want a little boy then, do you?” she asked and Ryan’s face coloured.
“I can’t think of it... him, being a girl, that’s all.”
“Emily is quite content whatever she has as long as the little one is healthy.”
“Oh... I know and I feel the same, but somehow I think it’s gonna be a little boy... don’t know why I should think that... I just do... but come to think of it, a little girl would be nice... wouldn’t she?”
Willie reached down and touched his arm
“Be careful... you could have twins...” she giggled, “Now, I’ll get you a warm drink and then you get your head down, eh?”
She looked sadly at him... At the young Buck of yesteryear, who had tried to seduce her at the pool and who eventually made it to her bed in the wee small hours. Goodness, she thought... that seemed like another life to her now... Another life and another person... not Wilhelmina Fehrenbach...
“Couldn’t you?... No, it doesn’t matter. You’re right. Thanks Doctor. You’re very kind, but before you go, could I please call you by your Christian name? You’re a friend of the family now, you know.”
“It’s Willie... short for Wilhelmina... and what else were you going to ask me?”
He blushed and rubbed his forehead in embarrassment.
“I wanted you to come back and talk to me... but it doesn’t matter... I know how busy you are, Willie...”
She smiled and looked at her watch.
“Let me see how the nurse is getting on and I might just do that. Do you take milk and sugar in your tea?”
Ryan beamed and she remembered again the face at the pool and how it had grinned from ear to ear and from forehead to chin.
“Just as it comes,” he answered and swapped his feet over, as he noticed the other sock had a peep hole also.
***
She studied his head as she sat down beside the bed... His hair was blonde, but bathed in sweat and darker than she remembered it to be. His eyes were hollow sockets above an overdue growth that looked darker than she imagined a blonde man’s beard would be and she thought again of the ‘smoothie’ she knew in comparison to the man who lay before her in the side ward bed. The same smoothie who lay in her warm bed, those hundreds of years ago... and asked her if she thought he was lovely... not her, when he lay naked there... preening himself, like a Roman Gladiator who had just made a kill in the Arena and she left his hot chocolate by his bedside... The tea had run out in the machine... and she went back to Theatre One to finish her paper work, but she didn’t get it done. Instead, she lay across the desk, put her head on her arms and fell fast asleep...
She woke up to the gentle tap-tapping on the duty room door and saw Ryan standing there wearing one of his famous grins.
“Oh, I must have dozed off. How long have you been standing there, Ryan? Is Emily alright?”
He shifted from one foot to the other before he answered her.
“Yes Willie... She seems to be fine. She came round from the anaesthetic twenty minutes ago and the Staff Nurse told me to come and let you know.”
“I’ll come straight away,” she said and gathered a few items from her desk, shoving them hastily into her bag. “What time do you make it Ryan?” she asked as she glanced at her own wrist watch.
“Five-thirty,” he replied and they hurried to Ward Seven together.
“I must have been asleep for ages. I’m glad you came to wake me up. I would have felt terrible if your sister-in-law had found me sleeping across her desk in there. God knows what she would have thought.”
“She would have thought what anyone would have thought, Willie... that you work too hard and your hours are too long. Don’t you ever take a holiday?”
“Just came back from one a few weeks ago.”
They stepped into the elevator together and he pressed the button for the fourth floor.
“These things always go so slow,” she remarked as she shoved her hair away from her face. “I could do with a good wash, couldn’t I?” she grinned.
“You’re not alone there. I don’t know when I washed last. Hey, I haven’t got B.O. have I?” he lifted his arm and pretended to faint... and then they arrived at the fourth floor.
***
The ward day had already started and patients were walking about with towels over their arms, slowly but deliberately, as if this serious function of morning ablutions was the most important task of their lives and Willie felt she could well agree with them as she approached Emily’s bed.
“Ryan, ask the nurse to put those screens round the bed and then make yourself scarce until I call for you, eh?”
Emily was breathing normally and her temperature was as Willie had expected, first thing in the morning, a little high. She studied her face carefully and examined each eye in turn with her pencil torch.
“Do you have an opthalmoscope on this ward Nurse?” she asked, peeping round the screen and holding it open with her foot. The Nurse found one in the instrument cupboard and she made a more thorough examination, just as Emily stirred.
“Had a good night’s sleep... Yes?” she asked and smiled down at her patient.
Emily yawned and then flinched, screwing her eyes up tightly.
“My head feels as though I’ve been hit with a ton of bricks.”
“It will... for a little while, but I’ll get the nurse to give you some pain-killers until that goes away. Oh by the way, Ryan’s here.”
“Ryan?... What is he doing here?” Emily asked and turned to look at her watch that lay beside her on a little locker, but the effort was too much. She closed her eyes again slowly and lay back.
“He’s been here all day yesterday and all of last night.”
Emily flinched again as she moved.
“The baby, the baby Doctor... Is the baby alright?”
“One thing at a time Emily... Yes, the baby is fine. I’m sure of that, but I’ll give you a thorough examination later on today... it’s the old head you have to take care of now. That’s the first item on the agenda. Now I want you to rest and not worry
about anything. Will you do that?”
Emily’s lips moved and she whispered, “Yes.”
“OK.. now I’ll let Ryan come in to see you, but only for a few minutes, you understand. It is more important that you should have complete rest without any disturbance and once he knows you’re alright, he’ll feel better and he’ll understand what I’m telling you.”
As she came from the screen, she could see Ryan standing awkwardly at the entrance to the ward. She called him and he hurried to Emily’s bedside.
“Five minutes and not a second more... and I mean that,” she said and left him pulling the screen close as she went, so that they could be alone and in private.
***
“I’ve been looking for you, Willie and they told me that I might find you in here.” Ryan stood beside the table in the canteen where Willie was just finishing some toast.
“D’ya find Emily alright?” she asked sleepily.
“She’s wonderful and such a little girl to have come through all that. Don’t you think she’s wonderful, Willie?”
Willie munched on her toast and grinned.
“Some of my patients are tiny babies, Ryan... but yes, of course I think she’s wonderful. Any operation on the brain is major surgery and any and every patient is a wonder.” He took a chair from a nearby table and sat down beside her. “I won’t be here long,” she said, “But if you want breakfast, just call for it. Put it on my slate.” Willie laughed.
“No thanks, I’m not hungry... Oh and thanks for the drink last night. It was chocolate, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, I couldn’t find any tea bags and the machine was empty but I thought that might be even better. Makes you sleep, they say, although it rarely works on me.
“Oh I slept alright. Went straight off,” he said
“Was it cold when you woke up?”
“What?”
“The chocolate... what else...”
“Oh yes... with two inches of skin floating on the top.”
“Ugh! How horrible...”
Ryan played with a paper serviette without looking at Willie.
“Willie... Do you think we could take a little walk somewhere... quiet-like... he said, after some time hesitating over what he was about to say... “There’s so much on my mind. So much I should talk about.”
“There’s a resident psychiatrist here,” she remarked and licked some marmalade from her thumb.
“No... It’s you and only you, I would like to talk with.”
She looked at him and she could see that he was very serious and she guessed there was something of importance on his mind.
“O.K, I’m free till lunch time and then I only have some notes to mark up... no more operations for today. I’ll get a wash and tidy up... Meet you down at Logan’s Bar,.in say, half-an-hour. Do you know where that is?”
“Sure,” he said, “Everybody knows Logan’s.”
She slipped her legs from under the table and pushed her plate away from her.
“Don’t be late now, will you... I want to get my head down sometime today, if I can,” she called out and Ryan was about to apologies but she waved her hand in the air.
“That’s OK Just be there... and on time.”
***
Ryan was on time... Exactly to the minute.
“You look a lot better, Willie... and you’re still as beautiful as ever,” he said and winked at her as he approached the bar where she was sitting on a high stool.
“Flattery will get you anywhere... but for the moment, take that beer and let’s sit over at that table in the corner.”
He followed her with his drink and straightened a beer mug to rest his glass neatly in the middle of it, making sure that he spilled none.
“No... Really, Willie. You’ve changed so much... if anything, you’re more beautiful than when we first met,” he said and he spoke with such sincerity that she wanted to laugh. This certainly was not the Ryan she knew... Here he was, desperately waiting for his young and beautiful wife to come through a major operation and he was chatting her up.
“You can still sweet-talk your way around any woman’s heart, can’t you Ryan?” she said and as she sipped her beer, her eyes met his over the top of her glass.
“No... No, I’m not trying to chat you up, Willie... and besides, I don’t think you would appreciate that line now anyway... As I’ve said, you’ve changed... I’ve changed... I’m in love with Emily and I’ve never been in love in my life before... Does that offend you?”
Willie studied her glass and turned it around between her hands.
“I hope I know what you mean, Ryan... I too, fell in love and I know the difference. No, I’m not in the least offended.”
Ryan gazed at her with renewed interest.
“You fell in love? Really in love, I mean?”
“Really, really,” she answered softly.
“Gosh!... You have changed. You’re so sophisticated... so...”
Willie put her glass down on the table and stared at him.
“Don’t tell me I’ve matured... You’ll make me feel like Margaret Rutherford, for gawd’s sake,” she said and they laughed together.
“You’ve got more character. Your eyes are different.” he said and she felt somewhat ‘dated’ but she understood what he meant for she too had seen a great difference in him and she felt sure it was due to the influence of Emily. She could see very clearly that he did indeed love her... The way he looked at Emily was never the way he had looked at her... even when he was lying on her bed in his birthday suit and telling her what a lovely person he was... Should she tell him that she felt he had become more mature she wondered but she decided against it.
“You do love Emily a lot, don’t you Ryan?”” she asked without expecting an answer.
“If only you knew how much,” he said and pushed his beer across the table. Willie crossed her legs and rested her elbows on her knees as she pressed her forefinger into her chin. She looked at him... he looked at her and a strange, deep sense of understanding developed in that second. An affinity that she never would have thought could have existed between herself and this man, who had once toyed so glibly with her affections... but then were they not both alike... Were not their past lives much the same... Full of vanity and self-seeking pleasure and yet now... There was nothing vulgar or haphazard about this relationship. It was pure and unadulterated and it took her breath away. It seemed as though she had known Ryan Marshall all her life as he bit his lower lip and pleaded sincerity with his eyes.
“I’ll do everything I can for Emily... I promise,” she said and his face creased as if he was about to cry, but instead, a broad smile crept across his lips.
“I’m sorry... I’m truly sorry, Willie, “ he said again and a sudden flash of his naked body, writhing across her bed, taunted her for a second and then she shrugged her shoulders.
“You worry too much... that’s your trouble, “ she said, “And besides I have a lot to think about in my future too, you know... much more than thinking about the past... and so have you, young man.”
Ryan was about to go on about their relationship of that past time, but she put her forefinger to his lips
“I have to go now. I’ll see you later on today,” she said softly as she left the bar, but he followed her hastily.
“Willie... will you marry this new love? This one you tell me about?” he asked and she smiled and looked at her tummy.
“We’re already together Ryan... It won’t be necessary to marry, “ she said.
Conclusion
“Do you remember,” she wrote in her last letter to Ted some weeks after she had made her final visit to his surgery, “Do you remember, Ted, when I saw those stains on your carpet? I saw them on one visit and they were gone on the next and yet you assured
me you hadn’t made any effort to have it cleaned... and the same happened when I went to see Professor Wexinford... One time there was a similar stain on his carpet and on my next visit, it had gone... and I thought I was going crazy...”
And Ted wrote back... “When we are low and the world is grey, we see stains and imperfections so easily around us, both in ourselves, other people and in the things of our daily lives... but when the sun is shining and we are at our best... and roses smell as roses should and the world is bright and our eye is cheerful... then we see no stains... no imperfections... not because they have disappeared, but because we don’t want to see them...”
On the following December, nearly five months after Paul’s death, Danny and Seyone became engaged to be married and Willie bought them a little house as she promised she would. The house was indeed just a small one, with two bedrooms and the usual accessories, but it was what Danny and her husband had chosen for themselves in which to start their married life together. They spent most of their free time when they weren’t working at St. Mark’s, where they both had nursing posts, painting and decorating so that the house would be ready when they would marry, the following spring...
Willie’s life changed dramatically. She started a course in gynaecology and gave lectures to the local midwives, in return for them teaching her their more practical knowledge in the districts where they worked, but Seyone watched the transformation with greater interest than any of the others.
“Don’t you think Willie would make an excellent mother, herself?” he asked Danny one evening when they were both spattered in emulsion paint and he was balanced on top of a trestle ladder Danny grinned widely and blew him a kiss from the other end of the room.
“You’re either psychic or a good guesser, Seyone Vijayananda.”
“What do you mean?”
Danny raised her eyebrows and rubbed her hands on her overalls.
“I’ll put the kettle on and I’ll tell you,” she said excitedly and Seyone came down from his ladder and followed her into the kitchen.
“Well... what is it you were saying?” he asked and Danny poured the tea into his and her mugs.