by Scott, Raven
“Don’t count on it.” Once again, Theo’s eyes met mine, and I sucked in a sharp whistle of breath when he jerked my head. Squeezing my eyes shut, a whimper lodged in my throat, and my heart tried to burst through my ribs. My skin crawled when he bumped his nose to my temple, and his clean-shaven chin brushed my ear. “Next time, I’ll get you to dance for me, Illya.”
A shudder raked my shoulders, and Theo unfurled his fist from my hair to walk to his car and speed off. Only when I couldn’t hear it anymore did a faint exhale escape me, and my knees gave out on me as I crumpled to the pavement.
He kept my knife.
7
Theo
My knee bounced hard as I glared at a picture of this chick, and I rocked back on the cot to flop back my head and scowl at the ceiling. The paint was peeling, and the corners were starting to seep with mold. How could anyone fucking live here? There wasn’t a single laminate floorboard that wasn’t picking up, and it reeked of weed that’d seeped in from other apartments.
Jesus.
I’d hazard a guess that Illya and Sylvie thought this was heaven compared to some places, and I hoisted myself up to turn my gaze back to the photo in my hand. This was the only picture of Sylvie that I could find, and it’d been packed in Illya’s stuff and tucked under her ‘bed’. In the photo, the brunette was eating ice cream in grainy quality, and I had to really hunt through everything Illya owned for it.
Clenching and releasing my jaw, I tapped the photo against my palm absently as I glanced around the one-room apartment. There was nothing to give me any indication about anything. The only possible lead I had was the reusable bags on the counter. Of course, I already knew that the grocery store was a dead-end because I’d had someone posted there for days. Sauntering over to the cabinets, I hooked a finger around the handle to pop it open, and there was nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Cat food. Illya must feed the strays. She must’ve had thirty cans of this shit, all neatly stacked, all the labels perfectly facing the same way, and I shut the door to lean on the counter heavily. Pulling my cell phone out of my pocket, I swiped the screen and punched in my code awkwardly. I could barely bend my fingers anymore, and I ground my teeth as I struggled to navigate to Mateo’s contact.
“What!” He was pissed again, and I didn’t lift the speaker to my ear before Mateo angrily screamed through it. I mean, I got why he was frantic to find Sylvie before she could do too much hard to herself, but I really didn’t think she was worth this.
“The roommate’s a bust. She’s not here, and neither is her stuff. We’re going to have to find her the old fashioned way.” My gruff response earned me a growl of frustration, and I frowned as I glanced around the dank, musty place. “I’ll head over to the south end in a minute.”
“I don’t care what you do, Theo, fucking find her! Today!” Mateo hung up on me, and I scowled darkly as I slid my phone back into my jean pocket. The past few days, he’d gotten worse and worse, and I was starting to burn my fuse with him. There was nothing Mateo could do to me. If he tried anything, I’d fucking kill him without hesitation and move on.
All this over a chick . . . how pathetic.
Well, that’s not entirely accurate. Leaving the apartment, I still had a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that Mateo was stupid enough to get a fucking debtee pregnant. That’s what all this was about, after all. Why was he so desperate to find her? Sylvie’s dumbfuck self came to Mateo after a few weeks and said she was pregnant, didn’t know what to do, yadda yadda. After he bought her a nice apartment downtown and all that, she fucked off for some reason I didn’t really care about.
My thoughts came to a screeching halt at the hard thud of cans crashing to the floor, and my head whipped up. Illya stood at the bottom of the rickety stairs, her bright, hazel eyes wide and her purple hair fluffy and bristling around her surprised features. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and my eyelid twitched as I scanned her through narrowed pupils.
“Hello?” Idiot. Clearing my throat roughly, I took the stairs, and she gasped before looking down and dropping to her knees to grab up all her shit. Illya wasn’t fast enough, and I knelt down to grab a can and hold it out for her with my jacked up palm. Uncertainty rippled across her face, but she slowed reached out to take the can of corn. A spasm ripped through my forearm from the sudden release of pressure, and my two fingers twitched involuntarily as she dropped the can into one of her two bags.
“Thanks.” My lips thinned as pain shot through my palm. Even after six years, I hadn’t learned not to use my right hand, and that can of corn proved to be too much. Sitting back on the step, I gripped my right wrist hard and grunted in acknowledgment of Illya’s grumble. A prickly sensation bolted up my arm, and I tore my eyes off her to watch my muscles roiling under my skin.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have skipped the PT.” I’d gotten my hand blown off in Iraq, but after being discharged, I didn’t keep up with therapy like I should’ve. I was left-handed, so I didn’t think it’d be such a big fucking deal. Surprise furrowed Illya’s brows at my mumble, and I ground my next words through my teeth. “So, you really did kick her out.”
I’d deliberately avoided mentioning that Illya was Sylvie’s roommate because Mateo would probably not take it well. Her eyes sparkled in alarm, and I couldn’t help a chuff as they flickered up the stairs behind me. My good hand shook a little as I reached into my pocket, and I held out the photo I’d taken.
“I’m borrowing this.” But she didn’t look up as a sharp contraction tightened my muscles and curled my fingers, and Illya gasped in what I guessed was horrified shock. Hissing as tingles bolted up my forearm, I tensed as my palm twitched viciously, and I dropped the photo in my lap to squeeze my wrist.
“A-are you okay?” Illya almost sounded like she didn’t want to ask the question, but I nodded sharply as goosebumps swept up my arm. It’d pass— it always did— and her eyes met mine with skeptical concern as I took a shallow breath. “Did you find Sylvie yet?”
“I have to find her today, or Mateo’s gonna throw a fit. He’s an idiot. I told him if he ever tries anything stupid with me, I’d shoot him in his pretty face, so he’ll take it out on so— ” Sucking in a sharp breath, my explanation caught in my throat as the convulsions in my hand rippled up my arm. “Shit.”
“Uh . . . okay.” Realization crept up on me, and I cocked my head as Illya crouched to hug her knees awkwardly. She wanted to go upstairs and lock the door behind her, but she felt responsible because I’d picked up that can with my bad hand. Sweet. “I haven’t seen her. To be honest, I thought Sylvie would’ve come crawling back, but because she hasn’t, I think . . . ”
“That she’s holed up in a drug den somewhere on the south side? Yeah, I figured that out, too.” Her tank top strap started sliding down her shoulder, and I unfurled my fingers from my wrist to reach and straighten it. Goosebumps blanketed her shoulder and bare arm, and she tensed under her soft skin as red climbed up into her face. “You’re coming with me. I’ll let you go when we find her.”
The demand slipped out thoughtlessly, and Illya’s eyes met mine to flash with sour distaste and regret. The muscles in her neck strained when I cupped her chin, and I tilted her head back and to the left.
Not for any reason, just to see if she’d let me.
“What color are your eyes, really?” Last time, Illya had green eyes, and now, they were hazel, but I could tell they were fake once I’d paid a little attention. The tightness in my arm started to ease, and I squeezed her chin when she pursed her lips thinly in defiance. “Tell me.”
“They’re green.” Surprise twitched my cheek, and I released Illya’s face to rub my spasming palm with my thumb. She rolled her jaw slightly, her thick lips parting, and a harsh exhale escaped me as the pain in my arm finally started to die down. “Okay, so . . . I have to work in a couple hours, so . . . ”
“Fine. Go put your shit upstairs. I’ll drive fast.” G
lancing down at my hand, Illya licked her lips in pensiveness, and I hoisted myself up to flex my stiff fingers. “Hurry up.”
8
Illya
“Stay here.” Shutting off his car, Theo pulled the keys out of the ignition with his left hand, and I sunk into the seat even as he cast me a sharp glance. “Don’t run away. I’ll be pissed.”
“I’m not gonna run away.” Crossing my arms over my chest, I frowned as I gazed out the window at the rundown, unkempt house we’d stopped at. Theo stared at me for a few, slow seconds, and I huffed childishly at how sharply this day had turned from okay to downright bad. When I didn’t look back, he got out of the car and only briefly did the notion of running away flash through my head.
Theo knew where I worked and lived, though, so there was no point but to suffer through his. The sooner he found Sylvie, the sooner he’d leave me alone. Hopefully. Right now, we were just going door to door searching for her, and I pulled my phone out of my fanny pack to check the time. I had work in three hours, but I was seriously considering lying about it and saying I had to in at six p.m. instead of seven p.m.
“Why did you do something so stupid, disappear, and still manage to get me involved somehow.” Mumbling through clenched teeth, I rested my head against the seat as I watched Theo walk up to the door. He didn’t knock, just strong-armed the barrier open, and my mind swiftly turned to the little episode at my apartment.
Obviously, Theo had been through some stuff. I mean, he had two fingers missing from one of his hands. Now, in the cold light of day, I noticed a scar running up the side of his face, and his nose had clearly been broken more than a few times. I couldn’t help the curiosity I had surrounding him, but I surely wasn’t going to ask about it.
If I asked about Theo’s scars, maybe he’d want to see mine, and I just wasn’t going through that. Not for him. Not for anyone.
“Ugh . . . ” I wished the seat would open up and suck me in, and I reached to push my palms into my eyes. The ruined skin on my chest prickled as my lungs deflated in an exasperated sigh, and I ran my hands down my face with a loud groan. “This sucks.”
I was stupid to think, as the days passed by uneventfully, that I was done with Theo, and I scowled darkly. If I never saw him again, it’d be too soon. Who cares if he’s muscular and a little aloof and actually a human, not a robot wearing human skin.
To be fair to Theo, he didn’t break into my apartment by busting down my door. He just picked the locks, and I gave him points for that, at least.
Seeing him in pain with his hand also gave me some closure that he was a little bit human, and my heart throbbed in my chest. I couldn’t imagine the struggles Theo had to go through every single day, and I turned my gaze to my hands to flex my fingers. There were more scars, I knew; there just had to be more. Could I go all day without using two of my fingers? Could I even go an hour?
I didn’t want to feel anything for Theo, but as much as I wanted him gone, sympathy still stung the backs of my eyes. In that regard, at least, he was just like me, and I pulled up my tank top to frown under furrowed brows. The thin layer of bandages wrapped around my torso hid the worst of me, and I winced when I pressed down on my abdomen. After thirteen years, the constant pain hadn’t faded away, I’d just gotten used to it.
Was that what Theo went through with his hand? Or was his hand the exception to his other scars?
“Why am I even thinking about this? I don’t want to be involved with him. He’s bad news. I have a hard enough time without worrying about someone else.” Grumbling, my frown darkened as Theo emerged out of the house out of the corner of my eye, and I sat up a little. This was only our third house checked, and he was scowling as he walked alone toward his car.
“Someone was sober enough to recognize her, a couple blocks away.” Slamming the door, Theo worked the key into the ignition and twisted awkwardly, and the car rumbled to life. “I don’t really trust tweakers, but we’ll check it out anyway.”
“And then I can go back home.” Mine wasn’t a question, but Theo nodded curtly, his expression souring some. Relief eased the burning of my skin under my shirt, and I closed my eyes briefly. “Good.”
“How did you and this chick meet, anyway?” The car peeled off the curb, and I cracked open my eyes as Theo, thankfully, kept his on the road. “You said you got her clean four years ago.”
“We met at a women’s shelter when we were twenty. After a couple months, we decided to move from Los Angeles. I told her I wouldn’t unless she kicked her heroin habit, so she did.” That time had been so rough. The cops had been cracking down on homeless people back then, and getting a spot at the shelter was nearly impossible. Sylvie and I started squatting, but she got picked up by the police for panhandling, and it’d freaked us out. “We moved here a little more than three years ago. I told Sylvie that if she did drugs again, I’d cut her out without hesitation. She was really upset when I threw her shit out the window, and she couldn’t get to it fast enough.”
“Why were you homeless?” Irritation bubbled up against my ribs like hot tar, and I sunk into my seat as Theo took a turn hard. The tires squealed in protest, but he didn’t slow down, and I gripped the door handle tightly as my insides sloshed from the force.
“U-uh . . . my parents died when I was thirteen, and I went into foster care. Pretty self-explanatory.” It seemed like for every question I answered, Theo had another one, and a sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. My plan was backfiring on me, but I couldn’t back out of it now. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“There’s the house.” My gaze swung to the windshield, but this house looked like all the others— rundown and forgotten by the town. This city had a small but noticeable number of houses that were just ignored. I’d always had a feeling that someone had swooped them up for this exact purpose. A lot of drugs came into this town on its way west, but we were far enough away from the ocean not to have a port close enough to be suspicious.
Blinking hard, I pursed my lips thinly as Theo pulled up on the curb, and he swore viciously when he bumped up onto the crackled sidewalk. The car jostled dangerously, and I tightened my grip on the door handle as he worked on readjusting. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him struggle to turn the wheel with his bad hand as he twisted to see where he was going. A nasty kind of frustration engulfed his features, and his jaw ticked as the muscles in his neck strained.
My heart squeezed, and I stuffed my fists between my legs and glared at my lap as I silently cursed myself.
“Shit.” The whole car jolted hard as the wheel on the pavement slid off onto the asphalt, and Theo’s fiery breath was so hot it reached my shoulder. He turned the car off, and I peeked up through my lashes while he jerked the key from the ignition. “Get out.”
I didn’t hesitate to unbuckle, and I popped open the door and tried my damnedest to shove down this sensation tingling against my ribs. Shutting the passenger side door gingerly, I stepped onto the sidewalk to glance at the rear wheel, and it’s absolutely messed up rim. There was a huge dent in the spokes where the corner of the sidewalk smashed into the metal, and I winced just looking at it.
That’s just sad.
Theo’s eyes didn’t so much as flicker to the damage he’d caused as he grabbed my forearm with his good hand. Stomping up the walkway, the muscles in his back rippled powerfully underneath his shirt, and I frowned under furrowed brows. This time, he didn’t pull any punches as he shoved the door open with his shoulder like he’d done it a million times.
He didn’t look at me, and a tiny part of me wondered if he was embarrassed about his parking.
But then the stench hit me, and I covered my mouth with my free hand as Theo released my arm to pull out his phone. When he tapped on the flashlight, he illuminated wasted bodies and passed out drug addicts on dirty, disgusting mattresses or just lying on the floor. I couldn’t even tell who was a guy or girl— they all looked the same— and I grabbed Theo’s ruined hand
when he tried to step away.
He looked back, and flames licked up my face to my ears as my fingers curled around smooth scar tissue. For a quick second, our eyes met, and I sucked in a sharp breath when his thumb and pointer finger hooked around my hand. Trying not to breathe, the ammonia in the air stinging my eyes, I blinked hard, and he frowned before sort of nudging me back out the door.
“Here.” Sliding his phone into his pocket, Theo started taking off his t-shirt, and a wife-beater clung like a second skin to his toned torso. He managed a lot easier than with his parking job, and he shoved the fabric into my face with a grunt. “Tie it around your head.”
“Like this?” Covering my whole face, I took a fraction of a moment to inhale deeply, and my eyelids fluttered as the heady, musky smell of him flooded my lungs. Snatching the shirt, Theo was smirking when my eyes focused on him, and the sparkle in his dark gaze tightened my chest.
Sidestepping me swiftly, he folded the shirt in half and wrapped it over my nose and mouth. Carefully tying the short sleeves over my hair, he pressed his palm to the small of my back, dangerously close to my ass.
“Ladies first.” I tensed when Theo grabbed my ass and squeezed, and his growl rolled down my spine. That seemed like such a strange thing to say, and I tilted my head to glance back only to find him staring at my ass. “I wish my fingers hadn’t been blown off, so I could really appreciate this ass.”
9
Illya
We found Sylvie on the second floor, and I tried not to touch anything as I crouched down to get a really good look at her face just to be sure. Theo flashed the light from his phone right at her, but she was totally knocked out. Her gaunt features after just a few days, the red rings around her eyes— the crackling of her lips . . . Sylvie was probably jacked up more than ever, and guilt stabbed my chest even as I jerked my head in a nod.