by Scott, Raven
“That’s her, for sure. One hundred percent.” Standing up, I nodded again, and Theo passed me his phone before bending to hoist her over his shoulder. The shirt around my face gave me some protection from the stench, but he grimaced as he held her by the backs of her legs. “Let’s get the Hell out of here.”
“Yeah.” The floor creaked under Theo’s weight, and I left the room first to illuminate all the trash on the floor. I was positive a few dead animals were lying around, and I could hear mice digging through the garbage piled in the corners of the place. Taking the stairs very carefully, so I didn’t have to touch the railing, I paused to glance back at Theo cautiously.
Seconds ticked by like hours before we were out of that wretched house, and I pulled down the shirt to take a huge, blustering breath of fresh air. Theo walked briskly past me to his car, and I flipped his phone awkwardly in my palms while he opened the back seat door and shoved Sylvie in none-too-gently.
“I’ll drive you back. Come here.” Rounding the back of the car, Theo popped the trunk, and apprehension gripped me in a vice as I shuffled forward on lead feet. I wasn’t sure what I expected, but him pulling out a bunch of disinfectant wipes wasn’t it at all. Exhaling heavily, I glanced over my shoulder at the house, and a shiver of disgust rattled my spine. “Here.”
Theo’s call rose the hairs on the back of my neck, and I tensed when he snatched my wrist to start wiping my hands. I didn’t dare breathe, my heart stopped beating, and I watched through wide eyes as he held the wipe around his lonely pointer finger with his thumb. Wow . . . wow . . . what the fuck . . . what the fuck! The fuck is he doing!
I did not fucking sign up for this weird, creeper shit! He’s washing my fucking hands!
“I can d— ” My declaration died on my tongue at the downright ugly, intense glare that Theo shot me, and I ducked my head. He wiped the bottom of my palm and between my fingers, and anxiety curdled my blood. This . . . this . . . this was fucking weird!
“Close your eyes.” Prickles rippled through my cheek at his gruff demand, but I didn’t resist, and goosebumps swept over my shoulders and down my arms and chest. He wiped my face where his shirt hadn’t covered, and I trembled as apprehension gorged my muscles. “You never know what you might need until you need it and don’t have it.”
“This is really weird, okay.”
“I seriously don’t give a fuck what you think, Illya.” Theo’s sharp snarl echoed on the otherwise quiet street, and I flinched back involuntarily. Squeezing my eyes shut, a whimper clogged my throat, but nothing happened for the longest moment until he growled deep in his chest. “That’s what I thought. You’re not gonna do shit.”
Grabbing my face, Theo squeezed threateningly, and I clenched my jaw hard as he tilted my head back to wipe my neck. The fine hairs on my face stood up, and my goosebumps swelled as he wiped down my arms.
“Why do you have to be such a pain in the ass, huh?” I refused to open my mouth anymore, and Theo guffawed softly, the warmth of his breath rolling down my nose. “Get in the car.”
Shaking my head, I scrunched up my face in preparation, but Theo only stiffened. The air became deathly still, and I held my breath as apprehension gripped my spine in a vice. I couldn’t get a handle on what Theo was trying to do, and his palm slid down to wrap around my throat. My pulse ran wild under his fingertips, and my lungs cried out for air even though he wasn’t putting any pressure on my airway.
“Get the fuck in the car, Illya.”
“J-just leave me alone . . . please.” I made the mistake of opening my eyes, and Theo’s narrowed as hurt flashed across his face like lightning. My mind ran a mile a minute, and I tensed when he released my throat, his fingernails scraping my skin. “Please . . . you got Sylvie. You don’t need me anymore.”
“Fine, walk back.” Spittle splattered my face from the viciousness of his words, and I shivered from the breeze of Theo storming past me. He slammed his car door shut and peeled off, the wheels screeching shrilly to ring in my ears. I couldn’t make myself move, but when he turned off the street, I took a shuddering, shallow breath. My dry lips stuck together, and I reached to hold my throat where the imprint of his fingers still burned my skin.
“Holy shit.” Covering my mouth, I gulped down the dense lump that had formed, and my mind circled around and around as confusion tightened my chest. Turning on my heel, the world spun slowly, and I rubbed my neck and rolled my head. Blinking hard, the image of Theo’s face when I asked him to leave me alone flashed behind my lids vividly.
Was he really that upset about me wanting him to go away? Theo didn’t have a good poker face, but that . . . what did he have to be hurt about? I was the one he practically held hostage, for Christ’s sake! He showed up at my apartment, and I couldn’t say ‘no’ and risk getting on his bad side!
And, now, I was all the way across town with no bike and no way home, and I had work in two and a half hours.
“Ugh . . . ” I scuffed the concrete with my heel and ducked my head to glare at the sidewalk. Why couldn’t I have toughed it out and gotten in the stupid car?
Because Theo is friggen weird, and if I got in the car, who knows what might’ve happened. He would’ve gotten the wrong message or something. I don’t want to be around him. He has what he wants. There’s no reason for us to ever see each other again.
Even as the thoughts whirred in my head, I couldn’t help but feel a little bad. Theo didn’t mean to be a little creepy, and I was positive that he didn’t see himself washing my hands and face as anything other than he intended.
But, of course, what was that old saying . . . the road to Hell is paved with good intentions? If he thought he was doing me a favor, I wasn’t obligated to oblige him just because he was meaning to be nice. He creeped me out. That should be the end of it.
Finito. Done. Goodbye.
“So, why do I feel like I did the wrong thing, not him?” My grumble was loud on the otherwise deserted street, and I rolled my bottom lip between my teeth. I dealt with real creeps all the time, guys from the club that would follow me around and try to touch me when there were signs everywhere. Guys that tried to get me to blow them in the private booths. Guys that looked at me like it’d be fun to beat me up and rape me and then brag about it.
Theo didn’t seem like any of those guys. He just was really awkward and rough. There was a huge difference between being truly creepy and just not knowing the nuances of something. He’d just dragged me in and out of drug dens looking for Sylvie, and he realized how disgusting it was for me.
“Rationalizing creepy behavior is bad, and I’m going to Hell.” Clenching my hand, my intended fist only sent surprise rattling up my arm, and I tore my eyes off the pavement to pause. Theo’s phone sat in my hand, big, with a bulky case and a smooth, uncracked screen, and I pursed my lips thinly. Every time I thought he’d leave me alone, he had a reason to come back at me. “Maybe he’ll just get a new one, and I can pawn this one.”
10
Illya
“Hey, Marcella, can you— ” Marcella nodded before I could even pop the question, and I held my arms above my head after she took the end of the bandage. “Thanks.”
“No problemo, chica.” She very carefully taped the wrap against my side, and I smiled when she pulled up my bodysuit down my torso. “I think I might’ve been wrong— you buy more bandages than hair dye, I bet. I like this green, though. It matches your contacts real nice.”
“Thanks. Um . . . yeah, I mean, it’d suck if someone tried to grab my chest since, you know, I don’t really have one.” My cheek twitched as flames licked up my neck, and Marcella smiled faintly as she held the fabric taut around my hips. Fastening the snap between my legs, I tugged and picked at the bodysuit as I examined myself in the mirror. By far, Marcella was the one at work that I was closest to, and she leaned on the small table covered in makeup and glitter vials as I fiddled with my hair. “Do you really think it looks good?”
I’d dyed my hair temporar
ily with green, but used two different shades, and Marcella smiled broadly with a nod out of the corner of my eye. My long, curly locks were going to need to get lobbed off soon. It was the price I paid for constantly dying it, no matter how much assurance was on the box. I’d managed to somehow keep most of my hair healthy, but all that damage added up eventually. Against the pale pink of my suit, my hair was dark, almost mossy, and I pulled apart my lids to adjust my contacts.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen your real hair— that’s not a bad thing. I get why you obscure how you look, working in a place like this.” Vivid, brown eyes met mine in my reflection, and I hummed softly in acknowledgment as Marcella sighed. “So, did you find a new roommate, yet? Did you ever find out what happened to your old one?”
“Uh . . . no. She just disappeared. I’m not sure where she went, but, I mean, life moves on. I can’t hope she’ll come back because she probably won’t, and I got bills and stuff that aren’t going to wait for her.” Keeping as close to the truth as possible was the best way to lie, and I glanced over at Marcella to arch a brow. “Why do you ask?”
“I just want to make sure you’re okay, Illya. I know you two had been together a while in Los Angeles, right. It must suck that she went back to using.” She smiled sad and sympathetic, and I clenched my jaw as residual betrayal and anger bubbled up in my chest. “Are you looking for a new roommate, or were you just working up the nerve to ask me if you could couch surf?”
“Uh . . . the second one?” Fire engulfed my face, and Marcella giggled a little with a slight nod. “Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet. I didn’t want to ask because I know it’s not your house, but I don’t know how long I can pay everything myself.”
“Oh, please, my parents are never home. They’re in, like, Asia right now or something having the time of their life.” There was always that one person who did this because it was fun, not out of necessity. Marcella’s parents weren’t loaded, but they traveled for months at a time. All Marcella had to do was pay for whatever streaming and internet services she wanted because her parents paid the electricity and water.
“Still, it’d be kinda weird to come home and discover that some random chick has been living in your house without you knowing.” Waving her off, I forced a smile onto my face as Marcella arched a brow, and I bent to adjust my heels. “It’s fine. If I need to find a place for a few days, we can have, like, a sleepover, but . . . ”
“Oh, I’m down for that.” Truth be told, I didn’t want to live with Marcella because I didn’t want to get comfortable with that pipe dream. Eventually, I’d work my way up, go to school for something, and make it myself, but, right now, I was in the gutter, essentially.
I’d been under these metaphorical grates so long that I was comfortable, and that was the real tragedy here.
“Illya!” Roge’s call through the back drew both our attentions, and I straightened as he shuffled over. In my heels, he was a good few inches shorter than me, and he scanned me from bottom to top before nodding. “You’re being requested in the private suite. Number six.”
“Okay. It better not be that old creep that never tips, though.” Roge only shrugged. It wasn’t as if it was his time that was being wasted, and I gave Marcella a little wave as she sat down in front of the mirror. “I’ll talk to you later, Marcella.”
“Yeah, later.” Leaving the back with Roge on my heels, I took a breath before heading out onto the floor. Bad rap music instantly flooded my ears, and I shook my head a little as the strobe lights flashed brightly. Low lights illuminated the catwalk, and girls danced on poles for guys with that couldn’t see a chick half-naked otherwise.
Thank God I don’t do the catwalk. When I started working here, Roge wanted me on the walk until I showed him the burn marks on my chest. No one would find that shit attractive, and I did a lot of private shows, VIP, and just walking around to sit on guys laps and listen to their shitty day. It worked for both of us, and I didn’t have to take off any clothes, for the most part.
Navigating my way through the swirling lights and waves of music rippling through the air, I held my breath against the reeking stench of booze. That was the one thing that never got better depending on how busy the place was— the very concrete foundation of this club was saturated in alcohol.
Peeling back the curtain of the private booth, I slapped an automatic smile on my face before setting eyes on the guy sitting on the bench. Prickles ripped up my spine, and the fine hairs on the back of my neck stood up as my wide pupils met familiar narrowed ones.
Theo propped his head against the wall on his forearm, and I blinked hard as he scanned my body leisurely. Sucking in a sharp breath, my heart thundered hard as apprehension flooded my bloodstream, and my legs ached even as I forced them to bend.
This time, I wasn’t going to say anything— not a single peep. Not one verbal acknowledgment.
Repeating the mantra over and over again in my head, I walked over to Theo to stand between his spread knees with reluctance clawing at my throat. I’d just do the dance, get my tip, and when the two minutes were over, I’d leave. No doubt, it’d be the longest two minutes of my life.
“Illya.” Grabbing my hips, Theo sat me on his lap with a harsh tug, and I tensed as shooting pain rippled up my chest from where he’d stretched my skin. Holding my breath in fiery lungs, I closed my eyes briefly as I fought a wince, but if he noticed, he didn’t react in any way. “You have something of mine.”
Don’t say anything. Just don’t say anything. Grinding my teeth as I reached to pry his fingers from my waist, I couldn’t hear the music over the blood drumming my ears. Theo tightened his grip, and my face grew hot as pin needles stabbed up my ribs.
“You’re not getting away so easy this time.” Even through the bandages, the thick fabric of my leotard, I could feel Theo’s nails trying to dig. Did he even realize how hard he was holding me? A choke of a sob escaped me when the pain became unbearable, and I covered my mouth with my free hand as shallow, quick breaths dried my throat. “I think it’s about time we had a ch— ”
“That hurts!” My voice cracked harshly when I couldn’t keep my high-pitched squeal behind the lump in my throat, and Theo’s grip on my side suddenly eased. Standing up, I pushed open the curtain and ran for the front doors, shoving my way through the crowd, but the jostling only intensified the burning pain.
“Oh, my God . . . oh, God . . . ” I was on fire all over again, and I burst through the heavy, metal barriers to lean on the brick wall. Gasping, shallow breaths barely eased the screaming need of my lungs, and I held a clammy, trembling palm to my side. “Ow . . . oh . . . ”
My whole torso was tight, straining, sending bristling needle-like pain through me as my ruined skin spasmed and twitched. I couldn’t breathe enough, and black spots dotted my vision as I leaned heavily against the cooling bricks. The lights of the parking lot stretched up my legs and seeped through my shuttered lids, and a hard sob clogged my throat.
But, if I cried, the pain would get worse. I was an ugly, none-too-gentle crier.
Tiny, strangled whimpers slithered past the dense lump in my throat, and I hiccupped a ragged breath as I tried not to move. Goosebumps washed my arms and legs under my stockings and bodysuit, and a pained gasp escaped me when a mangled hand pressed against my shoulder blade. My eyes flickered over my shoulder, and Theo’s form was blurred by tears and my contacts as they misaligned with my actual pupil.
Clenching my jaw hard, a sharp hiss burst from my throat when my breasts tightened, a powerful ripple shot down my front. Even at my face and neck, my skin pulled tautly, and I braced my forearm against the wall to bury my face in my elbow.
“You shouldn’t have skipped PT, Illya.” Hot tears leaked down my face, and a bark of some sort of noise rattled my ribs at Theo’s solemn declaration. Tensing and releasing my entire body, I took ragged breaths through my nose, and he sort of stood behind me awkwardly holding my shoulder. “Is it a bullet hole? Those suck
.”
“Oh, my God, will you just . . . just . . . just not say anything.” Sputtering harshly, a whimper cut me off when my voice scratched my throat, and I dug my forehead into my arm. “Why . . . why are you ev-even here?”
“I wanted to make sure you got home, but you weren’t there after I finished dropping off the drugged-out bitch.” Yeah, because I didn’t get home until almost seven when I was supposed to already be at work. Bitterness soured my tongue, and I sucked in a shallow breath through flared nostrils as Theo’s eyes dug holes into the back of my head. “I guess you got me back for that can of corn.”
“It’s not a bullet hole. What do you want? I have your phone in the back.”
“I already have a new one. Keep it. Pawn it. I don’t really give a fuck.” Cutting me off, Theo gingerly nudged my shoulder, and I glanced at him out of the corner of my stinging eyes. “You have really low pain tolerance, don’t you, Illya?”
My eyelid twitched in agitation, and I hoovered up a breath before turning around. Theo looked concerned enough, a scowl on his face, and I held out my palm as my own scowl started to form. I was so damn done with this day.
“Give me all the money in your pockets.” The scar on his face played in surprise, and Theo’s brows rose even as he reached into his jeans. Holding out my hand, unabashed, I clenched and released my jaw as fire engulfed my chest. My breasts ached fiercely, and I started tapping my foot as I watched him through narrowed pupils. He slapped at least a grand in fifty-dollar bills into my palm, and I pursed my lips and shot him a nasty glare.
“Fuck . . . fine.” Theo’s tone was snippy, but he easily reached into his other front pocket with his mangled hand. Pulling out a roll of cash, he sneered at me, and I clutched the money in my fists. “What?”