How to Date a Werewolf

by Rose Pressey

  Ugh. I couldn’t stand her. She irritated me more than fingernails on a chalkboard.

  Not saying another word to Lily, I slipped through the wrought-iron gate and into my courtyard while Lily pulled her new man away out of view. The main problem I had was: how was I going to get back into my office? The window wasn’t terribly high, I could pull a chair up next to it, but considering Jack, Jennifer and other various authorities were in my office last night, they had probably locked the window upon their departure. There was no way I could walk around to the front of the street and go through the main door, not newspaper as clothing. I dragged the chair over under the window and stepped up. It was so embarrassing to not have a stitch on while doing this. I stood up and prayed no one watched me. Thankfully, it was early and people were still sleeping. I wondered where Jack and Jennifer were. Out looking for me? Maybe they were waiting for me in my office? Or even worse, the police were there waiting with them. I seriously didn’t want to be cuffed and arrested.

  With every ounce of my upper body strength, I heaved the window open. Thank God, they hadn’t thought to lock it. I hoisted myself up into the window, my ass sticking up for the entire world to see. Moon over New Orleans, talk about a full moon. Another whistle glided across from Phil’s apartment. It made my stomach turn to know he saw me without my clothes, but nothing could be done. I wasn’t sure why I had been so stupid that I didn’t leave the clothing outside. Although Jack and the police would probably have found the stash.

  I shimmied the rest of the way through my office and landed on the floor with a thud. I jumped up, made a dive for the cabinet and pulled my clothes out from the bottom drawer. Thank God, my belongings were still there. Never in all my life was I happier to see my clothes. I slipped into my skirt and yanked the top over my head, then eased across the office floor, tiptoeing so as not to alert anyone of my presence. I poked my head out the door and gazed up the narrow staircase. Not a soul was out there, and I couldn’t tell if the voices I heard were coming from Jack’s or my apartment. More than likely, I figured, Jennifer and Jack were chatting again. Padding along the hardwood in my bare feet, I climbed the stairs. Soft whispers floated down from upstairs. My heart raced--it was now or never. I looked like hell, and it would only get worse.

  Chapter 21

  How to Date a Werewolf Rule # 21:

  Follow rules 1 through 20 and you can’t go wrong. Almost.

  When I reached the top of the stairs, my question was answered. The voices came from my apartment. I paused to listen. They were clearer now.

  “We have to find her, Jack. I’m worried about her safety. Where could she be?” Jennifer’s voice was edged with alarm.

  “I think she’ll come back soon.”

  Jack. The two of them were ganging up on me once again.

  “I tried her parents’ house but didn’t get an answer. I wonder if she’s somewhere with them?” She sure did love to rat me out to my parents. “I even tried to call her brother and didn’t get an answer there, either.” I seriously needed to delete the contact info in her phone.

  “Maybe. If not, where else could she be? She has to come back sooner or later. You said she left her purse, so I’m assuming she has no money. It’s hard to get around the city with no cash.”

  “I wish the police could do more,” Jennifer said.

  “Considering she wasn’t kidnapped, all we can do is wait for her to come back.”

  “What if she doesn’t come back?” At least Jennifer did seem somewhat upset by my absence.

  “She’ll be back, Jennifer. Try not to worry.” How could he be so sure? Maybe I’d been kidnapped or murdered. He didn’t know.

  “What do we do when she returns?” Jennifer sounded on the verge of tears.

  “Try and convince her to get help.”

  Just hearing the words made my blood boil. My blood pressure spiked, and at that moment I had no idea what came over me. I couldn’t control myself. Usually I could hold back my temper with my nifty breathing techniques. Tiny gasps of air weren’t cutting it this time. My eyes were changing, fur was sprouting. The tingling sensation crawled up my back. My thoughts moved so quickly they seemed to be stumbling over each other. In that instant, I decided to do something that I wasn’t sure if I would regret or not. I didn’t know if it was the right thing to do, but I did it anyway. No amount of force could keep my impulse under control. Pushing forward, I burst through the door with determination. The stunned looks on their faces were priceless. I knew I looked the worse for wear and I didn’t care.

  “Rylie, are you all right?” Jennifer squealed. Her eyes appeared as if they might pop out of their sockets.

  “No. I’m not all right. I’m sick of listening to the two of you plan my trip to the funny farm,” I said with a steady voice. I felt the blood pounding through my body.

  “We weren’t--”

  “Stop, Jennifer. I’ve heard the two of you discussing my illness, and don’t try to pretend you weren’t. I can’t handle it anymore. I spent last night roaming the streets because of you two.”

  Jack didn’t say a word. He stood motionless. Without a doubt, his feelings for me were squelched.

  Jennifer’s eyes grew even wider as she stared at me. “You…you’re…you’re growing fur.” She stuttered in freaked-out-ed-ness. Her face blanched, I assumed from the shock of seeing my transformation.

  “No shit. I told you I was a werewolf. That’s what happens when someone is a werewolf. They grow hair and fangs.” I straightened my back and stood up tall.

  She shivered slightly. I knew when she saw me it would freak her out, but she left me no choice. I’d hidden it for years, but I couldn’t do it any longer.

  “Your face has hair. Seriously, no wonder you carry those razors around.” Jennifer had never been subtle. “Your eyes have this creepy color glow to them. And your teeth are all pointy. I have to tell you, Rylie, it’s not a good look for you.”

  I ignored her and directed my next statement to Jack. “By the way, Martin sent the bullets to us, not me. He’s the one who destroyed my office. He confessed to me last night. He told me what he said to you.”

  Jack remained quiet. Instead, he continued to stare at me, I guess in disbelief. Torment twisted his features. Then without uttering a word, he walked past me and left the apartment. It hurt to see him go, I couldn’t lie. But what I did was necessary. Once and for all, he saw I wasn’t crazy and what I said was the truth. I rubbed my face, trying to ease my stress.

  “Um. Can I get something for you? A washcloth? A glass of water? A razor perhaps?” Jennifer stared at me in astonishment. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of me. She followed my every move.

  With the adrenaline fading, my hair began to fade, my fangs and claws too. It surprised me at how fast it faded this time. I felt an unusual calm and relief wash over me.

  “They just go away, huh?”

  “Yeah, as soon as I calm down. Except for last night, of course, during the full moon. Then there’s nothing I can do. I just let nature take over. Surprisingly, I’m actually feeling calm. I mean, I feel relieved. Although now, of course, Jack knows about the little paranormal secret, and losing him makes me incredibly sad.” My heart sank a little just saying the words aloud. “There was no way around it, unless I left the country. I like my life, in spite of this little thing that happens. I don’t want to leave. This is my home. We’ll just have to make the best of things. Jack lives right next door, and I can’t avoid him forever. Although this thing with Lily has all but ruined Get a Mate. How will I pay my parents back? Or pay rent here? How will I live?”

  “Calm down. We’ll think of something. Do you think it’s really over between you and Jack?”

  “Probably. I mean, I’m a werewolf and I’m cursed.” I shrugged my shoulders.

  “I’m sorry. I sorry I didn’t believe you. I let his psychobabble influence me.”

  “I think he meant well, really. I couldn’t expect him to understand. I mean a werewo
lf, for heaven’s sake. That is not believable. I’m not holding anything against him.”

  “I guess you’re right.”

  Jennifer hugged me. And she didn’t cringe when some of my fur touched her.

  “I’m going to take a long hot bath. I spent the night roaming the streets. I did find out who was following me, though,” I said.

  “Really? Who was it?”

  “Would you believe it wasn’t Lily? At least I’m pretty sure she wasn’t involved. Sure, she was picketing me. That we know for sure. But it wasn’t her doing everything else. Turns out Martin wanted to date me and thought if I was scared out of my mind I would run into his waiting arms for safety. How ridiculous is that? It’s like something from a seventies romance novel.”

  “Maybe that’s where he got the idea.” Jennifer winked. Such a simple signal, but I felt relief. She accepted me--hair and all.

  “Might be, he’s warped. I’m calling the pack police and reporting him. I don’t think he’ll bother me anymore. He even pulled a gun on me.” I moved into the kitchen for a much-needed drink of water. Jennifer followed.

  “My gosh, Rylie. You’re lucky to be alive. How did you get away?”

  “Long story, but Martin hired werewolves to follow me around and they turned on him.”

  “I’m really sorry about everything. I’m sorry you had to stay out all night hiding from us,” Jennifer said.

  “I know, Jen. I’m not upset. You only did what you thought was best. I could use a nice dinner to make up for it, though. Now that I know what a good cook you are.”

  “You’re not going to believe this. Come and check it out.” Jennifer had moved over to the back windows, looking out.

  “What is it now?” I moved across the floor, practically dragging my tired body.

  “Come see for yourself. And hurry, you won’t believe it.”

  Reluctantly, I made my way over to the window. One hot guy was all I could handle, look at all the trouble it had caused me. I hoped she wasn’t pointing out another one. When I peeped out the window, I saw Lily and Creepy Neighbor.

  “Who is that Lily is kissing? She’s got her hand on his--”

  “It’s exactly who you think it is.” Lily was swapping spit with Phil, which made me want to rinse my mouth with bleach just at the thought of it. They sure wanted the world to see their undying love for one another.

  “It’s hard for me to see at that angle. If her leg wasn’t draped over the chair like that, I think I’d be able to see his face. I’m not sure who it is…wait…” As Phil turned slightly, that was when she recognized him. “That’s Creepy Neighbor. I can’t believe my eyes.” Jennifer pointed in their direction, her mouth hanging open.

  “Believe it. Actually my eyes are burning and I can’t watch their unsettling public display of affection any longer--it might permanently damage my retinas.”

  “I need to know how this came about.” Jennifer gazed at me a second and then grabbed my arm. “Come on, let’s go see what she’s up to.” She pulled me with her to the door.

  We both ran down the stairs as fast as we could without killing ourselves.

  “I don’t want Lily to get away before getting to the bottom of what led to the pairing of this dynamic duo. Not that it’s any of my business, but curiosity will gnaw away at me until I find out. Plus I need to save all of humankind from witnessing the two of them kissing right out in the open,” Jennifer said.

  They were all over each other and didn’t seem to care who saw them. We ran out the door and turned the corner to where they stood. Phil and Lily still practically made out, they had moved onto the sidewalk. The sight of them made me want to take my eyes right out of their sockets with a spoon just so I wouldn’t have to be witness.

  I cleared my throat to try to gain someone’s attention. They either ignored me or didn’t hear, so I tried again. “Excuse me.” Still no answer. “My stomach feels queasy,” I whispered to Jennifer. She laughed.

  Speaking louder, I said, “Well, if it isn’t Lily Friedman. What are you doing down here on the sidewalk?” That finally caught her attention. She let go of Phil’s lips long enough to let out a giggle and turned to look at me. The smile on Lily’s face beamed. I’d never seen her so happy. She rarely ever smiled, and definitely never that brightly. She had a perpetual scowl. When she saw me, for a split second her smile remained, but when she realized it was her nemesis, she frowned.

  In true Lily style, she said, “Glad to see you’re wearing clothing, thunder thighs.”

  She was lucky she was on the balcony and I couldn’t reach her. But what happened next truly astonished me.

  I’ll never understand it, but Lily eased her expression and said, “We’re in love. And we’re getting married.”

  Oh, for joy. The mere thought of them procreating made chills charge up my spine. The world wasn’t ready for what they would produce. Although, now that I thought of it, possibly their marriage would last when others failed. There was no denying the fact they would make the perfect couple with a capital P. Like I said before, why I hadn’t thought of fixing them up, I’d never know. My inner matchmaker’s ego was bruised. “Congratulations,” I managed to sputter. “Um…where will you two live after the wedding?”

  Please, don’t let them say next door. Anywhere but next to me.

  “At Phil’s place, of course. Where else would we live?” A smirk packed with satisfaction spread across her face.

  Fantabulous. Now Lily would be a permanent fixture in my life. I certainly could tell her where I thought she should live, but that would only cause a fight.

  “Congratulations,” Jennifer said through gritted teeth.

  Lily flashed her a disgusted look as if to say Who the hell are you?

  “Don’t worry, I’ll leave you alone now. I’ll even tell my lawyer to cancel the lawsuit we planned. Maybe business will pick up.”

  Lily grated on my nerves.

  “Come on, let’s get out of here.” Lily grabbed Phil’s arm and marched him in the opposite direction, leaving Jennifer and me standing in astonishment. Her short legs carried her swiftly, and Phil struggled to keep up the pace. Lily reached up and wiped something from Phil’s face. Ketchup or mustard, I didn’t know. Perhaps it was something much worse. They vanished around the corner, never turning to look at us. Jennifer and I marched back to our apartment, away from the train wreck known as Lily Friedman.

  * * * *

  The click-clack from high heels echoed in the foyer. With my elbows on my desk and head resting in my hands, I wasn’t sure how long I’d been in this position. My door burst open. I raised my head.

  “What are you doing? You’ve got to snap out of this,” Jennifer said, placing her hands on her hips.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Why don’t you talk to him?”

  I didn’t answer.

  “How long have you been sitting there like that?”

  “Is it still morning?” I looked at the clock.

  Jennifer sighed. “Come on? What about your business? You can’t let customers see you like this. You’re not a great role model for dating at the moment.”

  “At the moment? Try never.” I leaned back in my chair.

  Jennifer walked over, wrapped her arm around my shoulders and squeezed.

  I patted her on the back. “Thanks for everything, Jen. I’m all right, really I am. As a matter-of-fact, I’ve been thinking…maybe what you said about researching the curse isn’t such a bad idea after all.”

  “Now you’re talking. Did you ever finish the voodoo experiment?” She stepped back and watched me.

  “No. I figured, what’s the use?”

  “Now that’s not positive thinking.” She tapped her foot. “If you’re going to research the curse, you might as well do the voodoo.”

  “So you’re trying to say if I’d done the magic weeks ago, I could have avoided this whole mess?” I frowned.

  “Well, I do think you should listen to me. I k
now what I’m talking about.”

  I coughed.

  “I was right about the underwear, no?” She tilted her head and a blond curl bounced out of place and landed across her forehead.

  “Jack never did get a chance to see any of it,” I said in a faint voice.

  “He will. Besides, you knew it was there. Anyway, you’re not showing the right attitude. It’s worth a shot, remember.”

  I shrugged my shoulders.

  “What have you got to lose?” She paused. “You didn’t answer me. Have you even talked to Jack?”

  “No. If he doesn’t want to talk to me, then I don’t want to talk to him.”

  “Stubborn ass. Go get the voodoo stuff. We’ll finish it.” She gestured toward the door.

  “Don’t you have to be at work?”

  She looked at her wristwatch. “Not for another forty-five minutes. Now scoot.”

  I forced myself from the chair and into the hall. I’d stopped even looking at Jack’s door. What was the point? After a couple of minutes, I returned with the paraphernalia in hand.

  Jennifer snatched the amulet from me. “I can’t believe you haven’t worn this necklace. The priestess said to wear it all the time. For heaven’s sake, Rylie, do you want this curse gone or not?”

  I sighed. “I do, I do. I guess I’d resigned myself that nothing would take it away. But you’re right, I’m ready now.” I held my head high.

  Jennifer slipped the necklace around my neck. I lifted the pendant for a closer look, then released it. The red crystals sparkled in the light.

  “What about the bathing part? You know, for the voodoo?”

  “Well, I did just take a bath this morning. That’s close enough, right?”

  She nodded. I placed the velvet pouch, powder, oil and instructions on the desk.

  Jennifer leaned over my shoulder and read. “So you did all of this? You know, put the powder and oil in the bag?”

  “Yeah, I put some in, but before I finished, Martin called and I think it ruined the trance or whatever I had going on.”