Shuttered Affections (Cornerstone #1)

by Folsom, Rene

  “Is this one of your professors at school, Julia?” Dex asked.

  I just nodded, my gaze landing on my hands as I wrung them nervously in my lap. Oh, God. This conversation was going way further than I had ever wanted it to.

  “Damn, guys. I really didn’t want you to know all of my secrets,” I said in exasperation. “A girl has to keep some of her dignity. Shit.”

  With my mini-fit, the guys both began to chuckle at me.

  Glad you find humor in my misery, guys. Geez.

  “Well, I’m not leaving you alone. I’ll sleep here tonight,” Pete said. His demeanor confirmed that there was no arguing with him. “And Julia, I think you should tell your professor what’s up. I know you want to keep your secrets, but if he is half as crazy about you as he appears, he’ll want to know what’s going on. If he is aware of this issue, he’ll at least be able to keep an eye out on things at school, even if he’s only with you for a period or two.”

  I nodded and cringed at the idea of sharing this information with Aiden. He would wipe the floor with me for sure. The last thing he would want was to get involved with a girl who had baggage.

  “Damn. All this shit is likely to end his interest in me for sure,” I mumbled through my semi-dried tears. “Last thing he’ll want is to risk his career over an emotional basket case with baggage.”

  Then a thought came to me and I wanted to clarify a few things.

  “Hey guys. Nothing has happened between Aiden and me yet. We’re definitely attracted to each other, but it hasn’t escalated beyond that. His entire career could be in jeopardy if it gets out that he even shows a minor interest in me. So, please, if you could just keep it under wraps… keep all this shit under wraps… I would be forever in your debt,” I stated as I waved my arm across the evidence-strewn table.

  “Julia, we would never even dream of sharing your private information with anyone outside of our little family,” Dex said with conviction.

  “Agreed, Jules. And, trust me, we will do our best to keep Becky out of it, considering she’s the town’s gossip queen,” Pete added. “But, you might want to tell your boy-toy to tone it down a bit while at the club. A few people knew who he was. Luckily, none of them knew you were a student of his.”

  I just nodded and said, “We actually spoke about that earlier today. But obviously he and I need to have the discussion again if he knows what’s good for him.”

  “Heh, yeah. The kiss made it pretty obvious you’re putty in his hands,” Pete said with a chuckle.

  “Ahh, shit. How many people were watching us?” I asked, rolling my eyes.

  It wasn’t a question I really wanted answered, but Sid piped up anyway and said, “Everyone. There wasn’t a single eye in the club that wasn’t glued to those two gods. Twins. Damn, you have it good, Jules!”

  I lightly backhanded Sid in the arm and said, “Cut it out, Sidney!”

  Dex gave Sid and me hugs and told Pete he would be back in the morning to help him get our cars for us. I thanked Dex for being so good to us and Pete made sure to lock up behind him while I dragged myself to my room.

  As I started to doze, I heard my bedroom door creak open and my heart began to hammer out of my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed silently.

  Please let that be Sid or Pete. Please…

  Chapter 24

  “I would bet my left leg he was about to say he had to warn Coda that I was his.”

  I could smell the odor of alcohol and cigarette smoke. I pretended to be asleep as I tried to relax the grip I had on my eyelids.

  Moments later, the bed dipped beside me. A strong arm snaked around me and pulled me toward a thin, male form.

  My body tensed until my muscles screamed at me. I let out a startled gasp, terror laced in every ounce of my breath.

  “It’s just Pete, sweetheart. I wanted to check on you and let you know I will never let anyone hurt you. We’re a family at H20, a strong family, and I will do anything to make sure you’re okay,” Pete whispered into my ear.

  His words started the waterworks all over again. A silent tear dripped down across the brim of my nose.

  “Shhh. Don’t cry, Jules. Please don’t cry.” He squeezed me tighter as he whispered soothing words into my hair.

  I finally turned to face him and, in the dim light, I could see his sincere concern.

  “Thank you, Pete. You all mean the world to me and I couldn’t ask for a better family.” I muttered my words as I sucked up my tears, determined to stop blubbering.

  I reached up and hugged his neck as he placed a kiss on my forehead.

  “Well, Sid made me feel very comfortable on the couch. Of course, I could stay in here if it will make you feel… better.” He meant the word safer—I could see it lingering on his lips.

  “That’s sweet of you, Pete, but I’m okay. I will be anyway. I’m just looking forward to this day being over.” I grabbed his hand and gave it a quick squeeze.

  Pete looked at me for a long, lingering moment, as if he had more to say. His face hovered over mine, his left arm propped beside my head, his right hand smoothing back an errant strand of hair.

  Unexpectedly, I felt uncomfortable. It was as if things suddenly shifted and I could finally see what was causing my unease. He felt more for me than just simple friendship.

  I closed my eyes briefly and let out a labored breath. The last thing I needed was to hurt my friend’s feelings. I knew he was only acting this way because he felt sorry for me.

  Pete placed a gentle kiss on the puffy center of my cheek, just below my eye, likely tasting the salt from my tear-stained face.

  After placing a few more gentle pecks on my cheeks and forehead, he hugged me one last time and eased himself off the bed. I sat up and braced myself with my hands as he began to walk out of my room.

  “Okay, Jules. Feel free to holler if you need anything. I’ll be just outside this door. Goodnight, sweetheart.” And with those words, he shut my bedroom door.

  With utter physical and emotional exhaustion taking over my body, I scrambled back under the covers and sunk into my pillow.

  My head throbbed as my alarm went off the next morning. Sid had mentioned I should skip class today. Since my spring photo project was almost complete and wasn’t due for another week, I didn’t mind skipping photography in order to sleep in a little longer.

  But I wanted to see him. I craved him. Even though we weren’t on great terms and he had a hell of a lot of explaining to do, I still wanted to be next to him and feel safe in his arms.

  Since I was up talking with Pete, Dex, and Sid, I didn’t get to bed until close to three thirty. As tired as I was, you would think I would’ve fallen asleep right away, especially knowing Pete was standing guard on the couch in the living room. But, alas, I ended up lying there for at least another hour before finally letting go of my anxiety and falling asleep.

  My dreams were nothing short of terrifying.

  Deciding I definitely needed more sleep, I chose to stay home, at least until Art History.

  I picked up my phone and began to text Aiden. I didn’t want him to think I was skipping because of him.

  Late night. Barely managed 3 hrs sleep. Head hurts. Gonna stay in bed for a few more hours. I don’t want you to think I’m avoiding you.

  I didn’t leave any sort of greeting as I pressed the send button. Pleasantries were for schmucks.

  Moments later, my pillow vibrated.

  I’m sorry you’re not feeling well, Angel. You worked hard last night. Your project is going well, so you can afford to skip today, although I already miss you terribly.

  I smiled and responded right away with something I knew would haunt me later.

  Lots to talk about. I miss you too. I plan to be there in time for Art History around 11:30, then lunch after.

  “Julia!” I heard Pete yell from the living room just as I pressed the send button.

  Worried something was wrong, I immediately sprang out of my bed and ran to him, my h
ead pounding in protest and my feet almost tripping me up on the way.

  “What? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” I scrambled as I approached him while wearing only a t-shirt and panties.

  He was standing at the island in the kitchen and didn’t say anything as he handed me a small piece of ripped paper.

  My heart clogged into my throat and my hands became a clammy mess. I grabbed the paper from his hand and stared at it…

  So, I scare you? I like it when you’re afraid. You know it excites me when you fight.

  The paper slipped from my shaky fingers and I began to spiral out of control. Everything went dark and I could hear Pete curse several obscenities as his protective arms went around me.

  I woke up minutes later to water splashing my face. I was on the couch, tangled in the sheets Pete used the night before. Both Pete and Sid hovered over me, concerned looks on their faces.

  “He was here,” I said in a weak voice.

  It wasn’t a question… I knew he was here. He left the note.

  Believe it or not, my first thought went to Aiden. Would his hold make me feel better? Would telling him any of this drama make me feel better?

  As much as it hurt to drag anyone into my circle of terror, I knew if I wanted anything with Aiden, I needed to tell him. But what was I hoping for? A relationship with my teacher? At this point, I didn’t see him as my teacher. In my mind, he was a sexy, mystery of a man who I wanted to get to know better. And with that realization, I knew I wanted… no, needed, to get to know him better.

  I brought my hands up to my head and gripped both sides as if I needed a vice grip on my skull to keep it from splitting in two.

  God, I’m a mess!

  At this point, both Sid and Pete were still standing over me, talking to each other as if they were formulating a plan.

  “Guys?” I said in a weak voice.

  They both just looked at me, startled about something.

  “I need to take something. I woke up with a headache and I don’t feel good. I’ve already told Aiden I’m not going to be in class. I just…” I didn’t finish as I began to sit up.

  “Okay, not to scare you, Jules, but we’re calling the police. They need to investigate this nut job. So, go take something for your headache and lay back down. They may want to talk to you when they get here, but since it won’t be an emergency, that’ll likely take them a while.” I just let Sid drone on while nodding in agreement.

  There was likely nothing I could do to change her mind and I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to. Although I knew one thing, I didn’t want to relive the nightmares that consumed my sleep.

  After taking some Tylenol and water, I padded back to my bedroom and plopped on my bed. I felt completely defeated.

  After lying there, praying for the sweet release of sleep to overtake me, I decided it was useless.

  I thumbed through my phone and began reading the text messages I missed from Aiden.

  Maybe we could do lunch together and talk then? I really enjoyed yesterday’s lunch date and wouldn’t mind doing that every day for the rest of our lives.

  I’m guessing you have fallen back asleep and I do hope you feel better soon. Text me when you get to campus and I’ll let you know if I’m available.

  Sweet dreams, Angel.

  The rest of our lives? That was a bit of a bold statement to make. Maybe he didn’t mean it the way I took it though. Women did tend to over-think everything.

  I braved a message to him, knowing class wouldn’t be starting for another hour.

  I might not make it at all. I don’t know. Things are so messed up. It’s the kinda shit I can’t even talk about at school, lunchtime or not. I’m wide awake and can’t sleep, even though my head is pounding and my body aches with exhaustion. I know you’re probably starting class soon, so I will leave you be.

  The message didn’t come out the way I had planned. But, I felt my body slowly drifting as I stared at my phone.

  Just as I began to slink further into dreamland, my phone rang with Highway Robber flashing on the screen. A second wind caught my sails and my heart leapt from my chest.

  God, I craved to hear his voice.

  Pressing the green button, I answered, “Aiden!”

  “Julia. What the hell is wrong? You’ve got me tied in knots with worry over here. Are you okay?” he asked. The concern was evident in his voice.

  “Aiden, I’m so sorry. The last thing you need to worry about is a mess like me. This week has been hell. Everyone around me is trying to make me feel better, and all I want is you. Yet, I feel so wrong for wanting you. You barely know me. I know it’s not your job to comfort me, but it feels like your arms are the only thing that will make me feel better right now.”

  My words spilled out of me like an acidic waterfall, likely to corrode the little bit of attraction he currently had for me. I cringed at the thought of him turning me away.

  I heard a dramatic sigh through the phone and dread overtook me as I realized I had pushed him too far. I wouldn’t be surprised if he never wanted anything to do with me after this emotional breakdown.

  I prided myself on being so strong. But life was determined to beat down even my strongest defenses this week.

  “I’m sorry…” I began to apologize, but he cut me off.

  “Julia, don’t be sorry. I’m just sorry I’m not there to help you. I wish I knew what you were going through so I could fix it.”

  His words touched me deeply. New tears, tears I didn’t realize I had left in me, began to spill out, and I sniffed.

  “Shit. Angel, don’t cry, please. I’ll come over as soon as I can. I promise. Since class is not due to start for another forty-five minutes, I will just stay on the phone with you until you fall back asleep. You’re tired, I can tell.”

  A binging sound came through the phone, as if it sounded like he was getting into his car.

  “Are you on your way to school now?” I asked.

  “Yes, although I wish I was on my way to see you. I don’t think they’ll be able to find a substitute this soon before class though.”

  “Oh, no. You must go to class. Don’t jeopardize your job because of me. Please,” I begged.

  “Julia, don’t you get it? I would give up anything for you,” he said, with a sigh in his voice.

  “As much as I love to hear you feel so deeply for me, I don’t want to be a burden. What I’ve wanted more than anything in life is for equality. Someone to feel for me the way I feel for them. I have that with Sid, thank God for her. My parents have practically been nonexistent in my adult life. I don’t want someone to have to sacrifice for me…” I trailed off, not exactly sure why I was babbling like an idiot.

  “Angel, you have no idea…” he sounded exasperated. “You have to realize, I don’t feel any obligation to sacrifice for you. It’s so much more than that. It’s as if… as if I want to show you how I feel. It’s more for selfish reasons than anything else. I want to be there for you, not only to make you feel better, but to make myself feel better, too. It would feel so wonderful if I were able to hold you right now,” he finally added.

  It made perfect sense.

  “Thank you, Aiden. You don’t know how much better that makes me feel,” I said honestly.

  “Good. I’m glad. Now, Julia. Would you like me to distract you? I’m sure I can easily make your thoughts wander to something much more pleasurable,” he chimed with desire oozing from his voice.

  “Mmm… that sounds like an excellent idea,” I admitted. He was definitely good at distraction.

  “Last time we spoke like this, I let you tell me what you wanted. Now, it’s my turn,” he said in a low, sultry voice. “Tell me, Julia. What are you wearing?”

  “Ahh. I’m wearing a small, white t-shirt and white, cotton panties.”

  A grunt came through the phone just as he said, “Damn. Maybe doing this before class isn’t such a good idea.”

  His admission made me giggle as my bravery increased. “Oh
, no, Mr. Stone. You can’t stop now,” I said with a grin, finally starting to feel the effects of the headache meds I took.

  “Tell me something, Angel mine. Can you see your nipples through your shirt? Are they hard for me?”

  “Yes, Aiden. Yes, I can see the darker color through the thin fabric… and yes, they’re very hard now that you’ve been talking to me in your fuck-me tone,” I said. Pride swelled in me as I spoke.

  I had no idea I could be sexy over the phone. He brought so many new things out in me and I loved it.

  “Fuck, Julia. Okay…” he paused and took a few deep breaths. “Will you do me a favor?”

  “Anything,” I said with sincerity.

  “Touch them. Pretend it’s my fingers, my lips, and touch your nipples through your shirt.”

  “Oh, God. I’d give anything for it to be you touching me instead,” I breathed.

  “Me too, Angel. More than anything.”

  “Aiden?”

  “Yes, love?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you had a twin?” The question had been nagging me since meeting Coda last night and popped out of my mouth uninvited.

  “It never came up and you were so mad at me when I left your apartment, I…” he sighed and continued. “Shit, I feel like such a douche for this but… I wanted to do something to get your attention. I figured pulling out the twin-card would at least get you to talk to me.”

  I laughed at his game plan. It was absurd and cute.

  “I wasn’t mad at you when you left, Aiden. I was embarrassed. But I know we don’t have time to talk about it now, just know, I wasn’t mad at you,” I admitted.

  To change the subject slightly, I added, “So, are you and Coda close?”

  “Yes, very close. Twins usually are though. He knows… well, I tell him everything. He knew about you and how I seemed to have lost my ever-loving mind over you. He probably laughed at me for several hours straight over the revelation that I’m tied in knots over a girl.”

  I smiled. “Does he know that I’m one of your students?”