Any Rainy Thursday

by Jessie Salisbury

  ~ ~ ~

  The November rain was much too cold to walk in, mixed as it was with a little sleet, and bone chilling to match the ache in her heart. Even so, early on Sunday evening, Althea decided to go out in it anyway. It was a compulsion she gave into, she had nothing else to do, and walking usually helped clear her mind, let her see her problems in a different way. Her neighbors had rallied, all the part-time help offering their time and their sympathies as well as comfort, and she was grateful. She didn’t think she could have coped alone. Ed’s injury was weighing her down with all its uncertainties, although the doctors said the prognosis was favorable.

  Ed had been moved to rehab and Connie was spending much of her time with him. She provided carefully worded reports for the neighbors. She was trying to keep her own spirits up. Their granddaughter had arrived from the Midwest and taken over the house. But how could Althea manage without them?

  The damage to the stand and the very real suspicion that it could be days before the damage was repaired and she had approval to reopen weighed too heavily, added one more burden she was not prepared to carry. She was almost ready to give up, to close the business and wait until spring to start over, if things had changed by then. She wasn’t hopeful that things would be better.

  Next week was Thanksgiving, and what did she have to be thankful for?

  She contemplated that as she left by her back door, leaving the outside light on to guide her back. She stood still for a moment, watching the sleety mixture swirl around the corner of the house. I have much to be grateful for. I have my health and have always managed to cope. Ed will mend with time. It is only his body and not his mind. My stand can be repaired. So what if I have to close a week or two early? There’s a new year coming, eventually spring, and I’ll start over. Everything will be fine.

  She couldn’t quite believe that, and it did not ease her lonely heart. Althea pulled the hood of her windbreaker around her face and stepped into the icy mist and gloomy not quite darkness, almost overcome again by growing despair. Miles was still missing, gone nobody knew where, and she knew now that he was what she wanted. Had always wanted. He was the fulfillment of her fantasies, in spite of all his shortcomings. She missed his music in her soul and wanted it back.

  The arbor on the opposite side of the lawn beckoned as it always did, and she turned that way, putting the rainy wind at her back, but she was too numb to care where she went. Under the arbor was all shadowy dimness. She hesitated a moment, feeling as if there were something there that shouldn’t be, or maybe what she wanted to be there but knew it wasn’t. It was where they had met too often. Where they had made love, where she had fallen in love with him, and where she had become his Bonny Thea. Her heart ached.

  Miles said from its depths, “You’re late.”

  She stopped, not believing. “What?”

  “It’s raining, even if it is a little chilly. You usually come out much earlier, while it’s still light enough to see.”

  She couldn’t move closer. She didn’t dare believe.

  He stepped into the archway and looked at her. He was wearing a heavy jacket but his head was bare and his hands were thrust into his pockets. He said heavily, “I talked to Ted.”

  Althea didn’t answer, not quite believing, and filled with an anger that suffocated her relief at seeing him.

  “He told me.” Miles hesitated again. “He told me about the damage to the stand and about Ed . . . is he?”

  Althea released a long breath. “He’ll be okay. Mostly.” She looked up, but Miles’ face was still in the darkness. “Come spring he will be out planting his potatoes.”

  Miles stepped out into what light there was left. “Thank goodness. I was afraid . . .”

  She still couldn’t move. At least he had come back, for whatever reason. His hair was wet, and he looked half frozen. How long was he out here waiting? But he’s here with me. He came back to me. At last. She still couldn’t speak, couldn’t get past her suppressed anger at his leaving her, his not calling.

  “You depend on him for so much,” Miles said. “If something happened to him, what would you do? What will you do? About everything that’s gone wrong?”

  She didn’t know, and didn’t answer, but she could now see Miles’ distraught face.

  He took another small step toward her. “When I heard, when Ted told me, I was afraid.”

  She found her voice. “Afraid for Ed? What about me?”

  “Mostly for you. That you would be left alone with no one to help you. Take care of you.”

  She let her bitterness show, and all her hurt. “Alone because you left me. You said you wouldn’t be back, this is not where you want to be. This place, this life, is not for you.” She paused and choked back a sob. “But it is mine. All that I have.”

  “I know.” He stopped moving and looked at her. “I really tried to leave. God knows I tried. Tried hard, but I had to come back.” He caught her hand, and pulled her into the partial shelter of the arbor. “To you.”

  She had her breath back, but her anger had not cooled, the hurt had been too deep. She asked, “Why?”

  “Because you needed me. Ed wasn’t here to protect you.” He swallowed hard. “Nobody has ever needed me. They all deserted me.”

  His hands were on her shoulders, holding her close and she felt herself responding to him in spite of her resolve to deny her love for him. “Why should I trust you this time?”

  “You probably shouldn’t.” He pulled her closer and his lips were close to hers, but not touching. “Away from here, there in the city with the others, I didn’t like it. The way they live. Like I used to. I missed what I had here, what you have. Then when Ted told me, I knew I had to come back. This is what I want. Need.”

  “For how long this time? Until something else, somebody else, strikes your fancy?” She knew her voice was hard, but she meant to hurt him as he had hurt her.

  His fingers tightened painfully on her arms and he didn’t answer.

  She held herself rigid. “Why should I sit around and wait for you while you are off on one of your flights of fancy? How would I know who else you might be with?”

  He pulled her to him suddenly, forcefully, his mouth hard on hers, eager, and she was tempted to give in. Very tempted. “I’m sorry,” he said into her hair. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I wanted to spare you, so I hurt myself.” He shuddered. “I just wanted to stop the hurt.”

  She pushed herself away from him. “I couldn’t stand it again.”

  “And neither could I.” He added softly, into her ear, “My Bonny Thea. I’m sorry. So sorry.”

  She wondered if he would sing to her, seduce her again with his haunting music, but he didn’t. She tried to maintain her stiffness, her resolve, but his nearness was too much for her to totally ignore.

  “I realized, after I was gone, that what I want is here. With you.” His arms tightened around her. “Let me come back, Althea. Give me another chance.”

  “To do what? Leave me again when spring comes and there is work to do and Ed might not be able to be out and about again?” She drew in a sharp breath and asked as coldly as she could muster, “When a young man’s fancy turns to what?”

  “To you.” He added softly, almost crooning, “To planting that row of hops. To making beer. To that patch of pumpkins. To a row of turnips and beets.” He paused a moment and added gently, “Making music on pan pipes under the oak trees.”

  His poetry surrounded her as it had before and she couldn’t answer. It was what she desperately wanted, but she still could not bring herself to trust him.

  “To keep that water system working.” He sighed, still holding her against him. “And to make love to you.” He went on in the same caressing tone, “Warm, sweet, passionate love.”

  She caught her breath to hold back her re
tort and recalled the night in the arbor. It had been all of that and more.

  “I love you,” Miles said. “I guess I have from the time I first met you in the thunderstorm. Rescuing me. My angel.” He sighed. “I tried so hard not to.”

  The cold was seeping through her windbreaker. She shivered, chilled, except where he was touching her, his warmth thawing her heart, easing the pain, and she wanted to believe. She needed to.

  He said urgently, “I didn’t dare trust myself, my heart, to someone else. Not after . . .” He didn’t say her name. Any of their names, those who had hurt him so terribly and left the deep scars on his heart. “Give me another chance. Let me love you, Thea. Let me prove it.”

  She pulled back enough to see his eyes, bright and expressive even in the dimness, and wondered if he had been crying. And so that I can try to heal your heart, to teach you how to trust, how to have faith, and to move on, so we can sing your song together. Our song.

  She said softly, holding his gaze with hers. “But not out here, Miles. Come inside where it’s warm.”

  Also from Jessie Salisbury and Soul Mate Publishing:

  ORCHARD HILL

  Deserted by her husband, Jocelyn fled home to the family orchard to recover and wait for her divorce to be settled. It is harvest time, and among the Nova Scotian apple pickers is Yvon, handsome, virile, devil-may-care, and more than willing to help Jocelyn forget her unfaithful spouse.

  But:

  There is also Adrian, her caring long-time friend and attorney. He could not speak of his love for her while she was married, but now she is free and he is ready to bring her back where she belongs. And willing to combat Yvon for her affections.

  Available now on Amazon: ORCHARD HILL

  A HEART MENDED

  Wilfred has a broken heart. Betrayed years ago by his young wife and severed from his life work by a heart attack, he has retreated to a resident youth camp to hide and impart his love of nature to mostly uncaring campers. Too hurt to ever love again, too much in pain to care, he has retreated from the world to await his inevitable death.

  But Shannon knows better. As the camp nurse, she understands his physical pain, and as she has learned to know, and deeply love, him, she has found the parts he keeps hidden. She knows he is a caring, gentle soul, a good man who could be healed, if he would let somebody help him, but he is rejecting her offered love.

  Robbie is a sad reluctant camper. Left by his parents while they vacation, bullied by his bigger cabin-mates, he can’t swim, hates baseball, but likes butterflies. His love of the outdoors catches Wilfred’s attention, but Robbie is the son of Wilfred’s ex-wife.

  Robbie stands between Wilfred and Shannon, pulling them together and driving them apart, until Robbie is trapped in a burning barn with only Wilfred to get him out.

  Available now on Amazon: A HEART MENDED

  15 TALES OF LOVE

  Love comes in many forms: first sweet love, second chances, seniors seeking quiet companionship, and it faces many obstacles:

  Beth-Anne must decide if her journalistic integrity is more important than capturing that intriguing lawyer.

  Rose-Ellen has faced too many tragedies in her life to easily accept an offered love, especially since he, too, has many injuries.

  Arlena has a sometimes gift of being able to see events occurring near by, and it turns most men away. Will she use her knowledge to help a lost child, and lose that handsome EMT as well as her reputation?

  Naomi has been abandoned too many times in her life to believe Tom when he says he will return. Can she find faith?

  Candace is a new forest ranger finding peace but still bitter from lost love. Logan awakens her desires, but he is cool and distant, too involved in his work to notice. Until she puts on a pair of gold sandals.

  Available now on Amazon: 15 TALES OF LOVE

  LEAVE ME MY CONVICTIONS

  It is 1973.

  The Vietnam War is dividing the country, college campuses are being disrupted, and families are being torn apart by dissension. Even love is being questioned.

  Earl, totally against the war and tired of arguing with his traditional-minded family, wants to stay in school and pursue his degree, but he can’t. Shortly after their last heated argument, his father died of a heart attack, and they are all blaming him because of his involvement with the campus unrest.

  Seeking to find peace, and settle the doubts and conflicts in his mind, Earl has taken on his father’s job of logging with a team of horses–a job he knows well but hates and has vowed to never do again. It seems to him to be the only way he can prove himself, to himself and to them, especially his brother who has served in the war, that he is not what they think.

  But there is Davida–beautiful, coolly blonde, and dedicated to campus takeover and a new constitution. She is urging Earl to come back to school and what she believes in; to love her and free himself from outdated traditions.

  And there is Marty–the quiet girl from his past. Her openly offered love has no strings attached. She is telling Earl to do what he believes is right for him, for them, and his family, to be true to himself.

  To do that, he must conquer a recalcitrant horse, convince those around him he is as patriotic as they are, if in a different way. And he must face the storm in his own heart and choose between two loves.

  Available now on Amazon: LEAVE ME MY CONVICTIONS

  NO COMING BACK

  Rich, deeply embittered, is recovering from an accident he blames on his stepfather Jim. The injury has left him in pain, unable to play baseball, and may prevent him from ever returning to teaching physical education, a profession he loves.

  Laura, now a nurse, knew Rich in high school and they reconnect in the emergency room. She knows how he should be, could be again, but is her growing love enough to get him there? Will he accept her help?

  Ken, Rich’s stepbrother, has always known he would one day take over the family business, but will his father ever allow him to do so? And Ken can’t free himself from a teenage infatuation with his stepsister Wendy who has married someone else. And now Wendy’s marriage is in trouble and she is looking to Ken for support.

  Susan, Laura’s cousin, saw Ken at a ballgame and fell instantly and hopelessly in love. But how can she meet him, and if she does, can she free him from his past and make him see he is an independent person?

  And Jim, who has always controlled everything in his life, is watching his family disintegrate, as much because of his pride as anything else. Is there any way that he can let go in order to keep them?

  Available now on Amazon: NO COMING BACK

  THE SCENT OF WHITE LILACS

  Charlotte has been left alone. She spent years waiting for Kevin to propose marriage, but then Kevin died in a car crash. Now she has nothing left but her position as manager of an art supply store, and that may soon be for sale. What will she do then?

  Malcolm, a well-respected attorney, buried his heart when his wife Rosalie died a lingering death from cancer. Now he has to cope with his teenage daughter, Leah, who blames him for her mother’s death, convinced he could have done more for her.

  When Leah's need for art supplies takes Malcolm to Charlotte’s shop, the attraction between them is obvious from the beginning. But there are many obstacles, including Charlotte's need for a lawyer to deal with a lease, the purchase of the store, and vandalism.

  But if she retains Malcolm, what are the ethical questions that arise if they develop a relationship?

  Available now on Amazon: THE SCENT OF WHITE LILACS

 

 

 
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