Washed Out

by Safa Shaqsy

  Me: I hope so

  Me: I’m not looking for anything right now

  Me: I just

  Me: I can’t

  Max: It’s okay, take your time

  Jane: Yeah

  Me: Ned and I haven’t started our project yet

  Me: Time is running out

  Max: It’s a good time to focus on your studies

  Me: I know

  Jane: Talk to Ned

  Me: About the project

  Jane: I don’t know

  Jane: Initiate any convo

  Max: Yeah, Jane is right

  Max: He’s a nice guy

  Me: I have to think about it

  Me: Anyways, I gotta go

  Me: I have to attend classes tomorrow morning

  Max: Goodnight

  Jane: Goodnight

  Chapter Nine

  IN THE AFTERNOON THE classes were over, and I took my handbag and got out of the classroom. While I was walking down the campus hallway, I felt someone’s footsteps behind me. Someone was following me. I stopped on my tracks and turned to look behind me. There Ned stood with another nerdy shirt of Minecraft. I took a deep breath, and tried to look at his face and not to get distracted by his shirt. Ned was staring at me again, like he lost his ability to speak somehow.

  “Ned?” I called, “Why are you following me?”

  “Err, sorry,” he said.

  “Is there anything you want to tell me?” I asked him.

  “Oh, umm, I wanted to suggest you to come home with me, so we could work on our project together,” he said and pleaded me with his eyes.

  I thought about it for a moment, and bit my lower lip, “Fine, but I can’t stay too long,” I decided.

  His face lit up, “Alright. Alright. Cool,” He said, “Follow me.”

  We walked to together to the exit and to the parking lot. The sky was clear and I clearly saw a ten-year-old Honda. Great, I don’t have a car and I also have to be punished. I looked sideways to make sure no one was there to see us both getting into an old crapy car. He opened the car doors’ locks, and we got in. The inside was old and the seats were spotted with grease and God knows what else. I looked at the back seats, were a lot of tissues, papers, and junk food boxes were tossed under the seats. The car smelled like an old restaurant.

  Ned grabbed the steering wheel and turned to look at me. He smiled, “I can’t believe Celia Williams is in my car!”

  I rolled my eyes, “Just drive,” I ordered.

  “Alright.” He swallowed. “Alright.”

  I buckled up and Ned hit the gas. While he drove, he kept glancing at me every few minutes, like he couldn’t believe his eyes that I was a passenger in his car. That made me smile a bit. He rolled down the windows and laid his arm on the window edge. I peeked my head out of the window as my hair ruffled with the wind, and looked at the neighborhood. The houses were a bit smaller, but they looked cozier to me.

  Ned pulled into the driveway of a small house, and stopped the car. “Alright, we’re here!” He stated.

  I got out of the car, and walked over the pathway hesitantly. I rubbed my palms on the back of my jeans, and looked at the house from the top to the bottom.

  “You have a nice house,” I said.

  He grinned, “Thank you,” he said, “It’s is our new house.”

  I looked around to see that the yawn had some weird sculptures of metals of some kind. Someone was an artist who made these sculptures. There were moving ones too. I got closer to them and brushed one with a small metal fan on it, and it moved, creating bell sounds with the bells attached to them.

  I grinned, “Who made those?”

  Ned tucked his hands in his pockets, “Actually, my dad made those. He’s a junkie.”

  “You mean like a drug addict?” I asked.

  He chuckled, “No, no, I mean like a person who collects junk.”

  “Oh,” I said as I brushed on every piece, “They’re pretty.” I was so mesmerized by every piece of art in the yard. I saw someone coming out of the front door wearing a suit. I figured that person was Ned’s dad. He noticed that I was there and came up to me, extending his hand to shake. I shook his hand.

  “I’m Roy, Ned’s father,” he introduced himself, “You are...”

  “Celia,” I continued, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Barnes.”

  “Call me, Roy,” He informed, and pulled his hand, “It’s nice to see that Ned has a girlfriend now.”

  I opened my mouth, and looked at Ned’s blushed face, “Um, I’m not his...”

  Roy laughed, “Don’t worry, I’m joking around.”

  “Oh,” I nervously laughed, “That’s a good one.”

  “Well, I’m leaving now. You two have a good day.” He walked away, and got into his red car. When he turned the car around, he waved at us. Ned and I waved back. After Roy left, Ned scratched his head, “So, you want go inside?”

  “Sure,” I replied.

  Ned opened the front door, and we went inside. In the small living room, there were three guys playing Cluedo together. They all wore some costumes that went along with the game they were playing. I looked at Ned, and waited for him to introduce me to them.

  The guys stopped playing when they noticed my presence and stared at me.

  “Guys, this is Celia, our new friend,” Ned announced.

  Their jaws dropped.

  “Um, hi,” I said.

  Ned pointed at the dark-skinned handicapped guy, who looked like a black American, “This is Tyler.”

  “Haw you doin?” He flirtatiously asked.

  “I’m Paul,” The guy with Down syndrome said.

  There was the last guy, who smoked something from a pipe, and looked high. “And that is Lucas,” Ned said.

  “Hola, bella dama,” The Spanish guy said, and winked.

  “What?” I asked.

  “It means, hey, beautiful lady,” he explained.

  Ned came closer to my ear, and whispered, “Sorry, they haven’t seen any hot girl up close in a long time.”

  I nodded, “No wonder why they’re acting creepy!” I whispered back.

  “I’m going to get some notes from my bedroom, so we can start discussing our project,” Ned said, “Be back in a moment.”

  He walked down the hallway.

  I walked to where the sofa was, and sat down. There were lots of comics and magazines all over the coffee table. I took one and browsed through the pages. Ned was a comics nerd, no doubt. No wonder he had a bad sense of style when it comes to clothing. It was new to me to meet someone as nerdy as Ned, but I accepted that we had different hobbies, and he was a good guy anyways. But he wasn’t my type of a guy.

  Ned came back with notes and some pens. He sat beside me. His arm brushed mine, and I felt a surge of pushing him away. But I smiled and pushed those thoughts away. Maybe I couldn’t accept that another guy would like me, and I wasn’t ready for anything other than friendship.

  “So I have the basics of what our project should be,” Ned started.

  “Great,” I said.

  “Any thought from your side?” Ned asked, and looked at me with his intense blue eyes.

  “I think your plan would work. Whatever you think is best,” I answered.

  “Alright,” Ned said, and opened his notes, “I wrote down what each of us should do in this project. I do the comic drawing and you do the book printing, so you’d need to contact printers who would agree to do this with our book.”

  I nodded, “Absolutely,”

  He looked at me, “You cool with that?”

  “Yes,” I said, and averted my eyes.

  “We need to finish this project by the end of this week, so we can hand it over,” He explained, “Do you have the time this week?”

  “I can’t say that right now,” I said, “I’m a bit overloaded with Mom’s illness and everything.”

  “What’s up with your mom?” He asked.

  “She... has had dementia for a few years,” I replied, “We�
�ve been back and forth with her medications recently, and she isn’t getting any better.”

  He rested his hand over mine, but I pulled it away, “I’m sorry about your mom,” He said.

  “It doesn’t matter,” I shook my head.

  “I kind of know how you feel. My mom’s not living with us anymore,” Ned started.

  “What happened?”

  “She ran away with her new boyfriend last year,” He explained, “She just took her stuff, and never looked back.”

  “I’m sorry,”

  He snickered, “We’re all sorry for each other more than to ourselves.”

  “I guess so,” I said.

  WHEN I GOT HOME, I got upstairs to my bedroom, and texted my friends.

  Me: HEY

  Jane: You seem happy

  Max: Oh, I sense good news!

  Me: You’d never guess what happened today!

  Max: OMG

  Jane: Oooh

  Me: After class, Ned took me to his house

  Max: I see

  Jane: :D

  Me: We talked about our project

  Me: And our moms

  Me: We were both sad and grieving

  Me: He even touched my hand

  Max: No shit!

  Jane sent a surprised face sticker

  Max: Then what?

  Me: He’s different

  Me: I never felt so at home before

  Jane: You likie ;)

  Me: Shut up

  Max: oh, someone’s crushing

  Me: We’re just friends

  Me: He’s a good friend

  Max: Yes, I see

  Max: Maybe even more

  Max sent a married couple sticker

  Max sent a baby sticker

  Jane: Ned and Celia, sitting on a tree!

  Max: K I S S I N G

  Me: SHUT UP

  Max: Then comes babies

  Jane: someone’s mad :D

  Me: You two are crazy!

  Me: LMAO

  Max: K I S S I N G!

  Jane: hahaha

  Max: What we mean is

  Max: Try and get to know him better

  Max: You never know

  Max: He might be your knight in armor

  Max sent a winky face sticker

  Celia sent a poop face sticker

  Jane sent a couple sticker

  Me: I don’t know

  Me: I’m not ready for anything yet

  Max: I know, honey

  Max: Take your time, but don’t lose him

  Max: Good guys are hard to find

  Me: I mean

  Me: He’s not even my type!

  Jane: Says the girl who’s crushing ;)

  Celia sent a glaring face sticker

  Me: Stop it

  Jane: Let us know when you start to like him :D

  Me: Don’t get your hopes too high

  Me: I might not

  Max: okay ;)

  Jane: We believe you

  Celia sent a laughing face sticker

  Me: You girls are unbelievable

  Chapter Ten

  MY DAD AND SIBLINGS were sitting in the living room in the afternoon. My dad came home early that day, which allowed me to relax and unwind after taking care of Mom, and doing the chores. My siblings did their homework on the floor, on the Turkish carpet, while my dad sat beside Mom, who was talking to herself. He held a mug of coffee, and watched a show on TV not minding her interrupting his show. I noticed how he held her hand in his lap with gentleness. He still cared about her, even when she wasn’t mentally present. Dad noticed me staring at him, and that made me flinch and turn my eyes to the TV screen.

  “Anything interesting happened today?” He tried to open a conversation.

  “Just a few suborn stains on the dishes,” I mockingly replied, “Other than that, no, nothing new happened today.”

  I knew he meant about Mom’s progress, but I had little faith about her condition getting better. I couldn’t imagine that a miracle would happen and magically heal my mom. I didn’t believe in miracles, and prayers haven’t helped me so far. Deep inside, I knew that I gave up on hope. I gave up on fake expectations, and pretending that everything will get back to normal. But Dad on the other hand, still fights to get her normal self back.

  He nodded slightly, like to assure himself. “She’ll get better,” he said.

  I saw the sorrow in his eyes; like he was clinging to the last bit of hope he had in life, to get my real mom back. To get his wife back. To get a beautiful mind back, and impact lives of other people. I couldn’t tell him that it won’t happen, because he loved her so bad, and his eyes proved it. I couldn’t let him in the dark side. My side.

  “Yeah,” I nodded, “She might.”

  I felt my phone buzz, and pulled it out of my pocket. Ned had texted something on Bubblechat.

  Ned: Hey :)

  Me: Hi

  Ned: You feeling better today?

  Me: I guess

  Me: I don’t know

  Ned: Okay

  Ned: Just wanted to ask you something

  Ned: But before you brutally reject it, please think about it first

  Ned: I have good intentions

  Ned: And I’ll prove it to you

  Me: Ned, what are you talking about?

  Ned: What I mean is

  Ned: I want to take you somewhere tonight

  Ned: Don’t get me wrong

  Ned: I’m not trying to be your rebound or something

  Ned: I know you’re struggling with your emotions right now

  Ned: But it’s better if we got to know each other, other than through a project

  Ned: Celia?

  Ned: You there?

  Five minutes went by and haven’t texted him back. I didn’t know what to feel then, and I was really confused about getting closer to another guy. It seemed like a lot of work. I didn’t want to go back to square one. There were a lot of risks after a heartbreak, which is another possible heartbreak, and I didn’t think I had the inner strength to deal with another pain. I should just reject him, that’s what I thought. But my heart told me to take the risk, and because You Only Live Once bullshit. I opened a chat in the Cheetahs group.

  Me: GIRLS

  Me: AHHH

  Max: SHIT!

  Max: WHAT’S WRONG?

  Jane: What? :O

  Me: NED JUST ASKED ME OUT

  Me: OMG

  Max: OKAY THE FIRST RULE IS

  Max: TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN!

  Me: HOW?

  Me: HOW!!

  Max: BY REMOVING THE CAPS

  Me: Sorry...

  Jane: Rotfl

  Jane: Just go out with him

  Me: As simple as THAT?

  Jane: Pretty much

  Max: Girl, say YES to Ned

  Me: I can’t

  Me: I can’t!

  Max: Okay, calm down, and listen to me!

  Max: I mean, read my texts, okay?

  Me: Okay

  Max: Read carefully

  Max: Kent doesn’t want you in his life

  Max: Remember what we talked about last time?

  Max: That you’re a broccoli to him?

  Jane: Eww

  Me: This is weird

  Max: You ARE a broccoli to him

  Max: Say it!

  Me: I am a broccoli...

  Max: Write it with pride!

  Me: I am a broccoli!

  Max: Now say it out LOUD

  Me: Okay, that’s enough

  Max: But you get the point, right?

  Me: Yeah, I’m stinky as a broccoli

  Me: Thanks for letting me know

  Max: No problem

  Jane: LMAO

  Jane: Take a chance with him

  Me: Fine

  Me: What should I wear though

  Max: You’re shiniest dress

  Max sent a red dress sticker

  Jane: I like the purple one that you used to wear

  Me: I think I have
just the dress for it

  Me: Okay, I need to chat with Ned now, and let him know that I agreed

  Me: I’ll let you girls know what happened with us, okay?

  Max: Sure, have fun

  Jane: Tata!

  I opened Ned’s chat, and sent my reply.

  Me: Yes

  Ned: YES?

  Ned: I hav jus tha palce t’go for

  Ned: Correction: I have just the place to go for

  Ned: Be at your house in 10min

  Me: Cool :)

  (Ned types.....) and it went on for a few minutes, like he was trying to tell me something, then changed his mind a few times. Then he went offline.

  I WAS WAITING OUTSIDE, with my simple makeup, and a short purple mermaid dress. The Honda was parked outside, and Ned was standing beside the open car door, with a goofy grin on his face. I smiled, and went to the passenger side to open the door, but Ned sprinted swiftly to the other side, and opened the door for me. “Beautiful ladies first,” He said as he held the door for me.

  I got in and buckled up. Ned got in and we drove off. I had no idea where he was taking me, but it felt good to do something new, with a new guy. The ride wasn’t long before we reached an old building. He parked the car and we both got out. The building was newly painted, but the structure was like an old mansion. There were gardens in every corner, and a pathway to the front door.

  “This is the Alderman Library,” Ned said as we walked side by side to the front door.

  I knew that library existed, but I was never interested to go there. I couldn’t believe that I over dressed for a library visit. People walked on the grass and turned heads at me. We walked in the entrance with other people passing by us, and Ned showed me where the books were. When we reached the bookshelves, I looked around where people sat at table and desks reading books.

  “Come on, let me show you my favourite books,” Ned said, and went to the first shelf.

  He browsed around with his fingers over the books’ covers, and pulled one old book with a couple on the cover. It was, “Romeo and Juliet” by William Shakespeare. I knew of Shakespeare, but never read any of his plays.

  Ned opened the book, to a page, “This is one of my favorite classics,” He said, “This is the best tragic, love story between two souls.”

  He read the page and became immersed in his own thoughts for a moment, then turned to me, and said, “Did my heart love till now?”

  My heart skipped for second. Maybe even less, just a click. And I felt myself blushing. He kneeled down and looked into my eyes, engrossed in his feelings, “forswear it, sight, for I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.”