The Nurse's Child

by Abigail Gordon

She eyed him in surprise. What was this? A vote of confidence? He knew there was no problem about transport. She had her own Peugeot parked outside. But it was an offer she wasn't going to refuse.

  'Thanks. That will save me any parking problems as I've never been to Cheltenham before.'

  'It's a beautiful town,' he told her as he looked into her eyes and admired the springing gold of her hair, now back to its natural colour.

  Don't start going down that road again, he warned himself, but as his glance travelled to the smooth stem of her throat and the curving globes of her breasts beneath it he knew why he kept asking himself what it would be like to make love to Freya Farnham.

  'Its parks and gardens are superb and the shops, especially those along the promenade, are well worth a visit,' he droned on absently.

  His voice trailed away. He sounded like a travel brochure and Anita was glaring at them as if she'd suddenly got a nasty taste in her mouth.

  'I shall look forward to it, then,' Freya told him, and went on her way.

  Round a bend in the corridor Freya came across a group of girls gathered beside a door that led into the grounds. They were supporting one of their companions who was sagging at the knees with head lolling and mouth hanging open.

  As she hurried towards them she called out urgently, 'One of you fetch Dr Haslett. He's at the other end of the corridor.' To the rest she ordered, 'Get a chair someone... quickly!'

  As they eased the girl down onto it she asked anxiously, 'How long has she been like this?'

  'Er...we don't know, Sister,' one of them said awkwardly. 'We saw Sonia staggering through the gardens and ran to help. She's been vomiting and she's a funny colour.'

  'Yes, I can see that,' Freya said with the concern that was always there when any of them were sick. These children were far from home and family. They depended on her and Richard at times like this and they mustn't fail them.

  'What is it, Sister?' Richard's voice said from behind, and she breathed a sigh of relief. The girl was ill. Very ill, at first glance. Where had she been? Had she taken something?

  While Freya was loosening the top buttons of her blouse, Richard was checking her pulse and lifting her eyelids.

  'No dilating of the pupils,' he said, 'but we've got to get her to the sanatorium. I've nothing to treat her with here. Ring Matron and ask her to bring a stretcher and at the same time phone for an ambulance.

  'It could be one of many things,' he went on. 'Poisoning, kidney failure, heart—though she's not showing any of the usual signs of myocardial infarction.'

  'Sonia had a bad attack of gastroenteritis a few days ago,' she told him. 'It could have caused a potassium deficiency.'

  'Maybe,' he said sombrely, 'but it's rare.' Turning to the girl, who was being supported by Freya and one of her friends, he said, 'Have you been having trouble passing urine?'

  She nodded drowsily.

  'How long since you last did so?'

  'Can't remember,' she mumbled.

  'Could be kidney failure,' he said in a low voice, as Matron came hurrying down the corridor, pushing a wheeled stretcher. 'Her pulse is weak and she's very pale. We need to make sure that they do kidney function tests and that she's treated for shock as soon as she's admitted to A and E. I'm going with her.'

  'I'll come, too,' Freya told him. 'She's in my care. I feel responsible.'

  Richard nodded.

  'You know what it's like to be away from home, don't you?' Before she could tell him fervently that she certainly did, the noise of a siren outside the main entrance of the school wiped all other thoughts from their minds.

  Tests were being done. A urinalysis was being performed and Sonia's blood was being assessed to see what amounts of urea and creatinine were there—substances that would normally be excreted from the body by healthy kidneys, but which would be dangerous if allowed to accumulate.

  No problem with the heart was found or low potassium levels, and when at last the consultant came out to speak to them it was to tell them that as the test results were coming through they were showing that there was a problem with Sonia's kidneys and that he would be prescribing corticosteroid and diuretic drugs to improve urine flow and remove excess fluids.

  'If we feel the need, we may give the young lady temporary dialysis,' he informed them, 'but I'm hoping that won't be necessary.'

  'What has caused this. Do you know yet?' Richard asked.

  'We are doing scans to see if there's a tumour in the bladder. That would create an obstruction which could result in acute kidney failure. Should that be the case, once it's removed the kidney function will return to normal, as long as the tumour is benign.'

  Freya turned away. This was awful. She hoped that Matron had been able to contact Soma's parents and that they didn't live too far away.

  'Can we see her before we go?' she asked.

  'Yes, of course. She looks poorly at the moment, but once the treatment starts to work she'll perk up.'

  Sonia's parents had arrived and once they'd been put in the picture and established themselves beside their daughter's bed, Freya and Richard left them to their vigil.

  It was seven o'clock and Matron had rang to say that she was coming to pick them up and that Amelia had stayed at school for her evening meal rather than going home to an empty house.

  Richard had rung Garth and asked him to do the late afternoon surgeries and now all that remained was for them both to return to their own surroundings until the next day when hopefully the hospital would be able to tell them the results of the scans.

  'We make a good team, don't we?' Richard said as they waited for Matron to turn up.

  Freya's expression was sombre. Sonia was only fifteen, the age when children did foolish things, and she knew that they'd all thought she might have taken some harmful substance when in truth it had been her kidneys that weren't functioning.

  He was waiting for an answer and she managed a smile.

  'Yes, I suppose we do,' she agreed, knowing that he was referring to their involvement with Marchmont and nothing else. It was too much to hope he might have those feelings about any other aspect of their lives.

  The news the next day was that a tumour had been found, but a biopsy had shown that it was benign and Sonia was to be operated on that afternoon for its removal.

  When Richard called in at the sanatorium for a fleeting visit after a meeting of the governors, he found Freya bandaging. a girl's cut finger.

  'How are you after yesterday's trauma?' he asked when she looked up.

  Her smile had relief in it.

  'Happy to be dealing with nothing more serious than this,' she told him.

  'Yes, it's good news about Sonia, isn't it?' he said. 'We must be thankful for that. It could so easily have been very different. And with regard to our next joint venture, are you still all right for Saturday?'

  'Yes, of course.'

  'Amelia and Alice are looking forward to it.'

  'So am I,' she told him and thought, More than you could ever know.

  When she got into Richard's car on Saturday morning Freya wasn't at ease. She knew that the harmony and closeness they'd experienced when Sonia had been taken ill wouldn't have changed anything, but as she listened to Amelia and Alice chattering in the back and took note of Richard's calm profile, she started to relax.

  She wasn't to know that beneath his calm exterior he was just as tense as she'd been. But before setting off he'd told himself that Amelia was short of the company of an older woman and had thought with bitter irony, Who better than her blood mother?

  How Jenny would have reacted if she'd been around at this time he didn't know. He only knew that he'd been left to sort it and prayed that he'd done the right thing.

  If the chance came to make things right, he would grasp it with both hands, but there didn't seem much likelihood of that until Amelia was older.

  'So, what have you planned?' he asked her as they sped along. He was eyeing the two back-seat passengers in the rear-view
mirror. 'The girls' tastes will be different to yours...and mine, for that matter.'

  She smiled across at him.

  'Yes. I do know that and I'll go along to wherever they want to spend their money. I have no special requirements today. You said that you have some shopping to do. Are you going to drop us off, or stay with us?'

  A quick slanting glance from those dark eyes told her that he'd sensed something deeper than just a casual question in what she'd said. Did he think she was asking if he trusted her?

  If he did, he was ready to provide reassurance.

  'I'm going to park in the town centre and leave the three of you to your own devices. I'll take you all out for a meal when we meet up again, if you like.'

  Freya smiled and, looking over her shoulder at the two girls, said, 'Your dad wants to take us for a meal when we've done our shopping, Amelia. Would you both like that?'

  'Yes,' they agreed, and as she turned to face the front, and the girls continued chatting and giggling in the back, Richard said, 'Alice will be good for Amelia. No tantrums or mood swings with that one.'

  'For a very good reason,' she told him in a low voice. 'Alice has never had anything unpleasant happen to her in the whole of her life. She's the cherished only child of wealthy parents.'

  His face was sombre.

  'And you think Amelia isn't.'

  'What?'

  'Cherished.'

  'Yes, of course she is, but like some of us she's had to face a great loss at a very early age. Though, unlike me, she's fortunate to have a loving father who is always there for her.'

  Some people might have thought she was asking for pity. He knew better. She was just stating a fact and once again his guilt surfaced.

  He would have liked to have stayed with them but Freya had already questioned his motives in bringing them, and he did have some shopping to do.

  It was going to be a bleak Christmas when it came, and although it was still some weeks off he had this feeling of urgency inside him. It was essential that he made the best of it for his daughter and himself, and he didn't think Anita's invitation to spend Christmas Day with her would bring much joy for Amelia...or him.

  So it was to be early Christmas shopping for him, gathering together all the things that Jenny had seen to before her death. He would decide where and who they were going to spend it with nearer the time.

  The tranquil Alice and the woman seated next to him would, no doubt, go home to London for the holiday, so he couldn't put them on his guest list and was amazed to think that he was even considering it.

  It being Saturday, the town was busy, with crowded pavements and the constant grind of traffic. But it didn't prevent Freya from taking in the beautiful architecture of the buildings, the gracious parks and treelined roads.

  There was something regal about the place. She could imagine the rich coming in their carriages to take the waters of the famous spa town, and the elegant social gatherings inside the tall houses that seemed to line every street.

  Richard had done as promised and had left them to it, and it wasn't the ambience of the place that Amelia and Alice were concerned with.

  A loose pink top with glittering thread running through it had been Alice's choice for the Christmas disco and Amelia had bought herself a purple halter-neck vest that did nothing to disguise her thin young arms. They were glowing with satisfaction at their purchases and Freya hadn't the heart to tell them that both were hardly suitable. She'd been their age once and remembered how easily confidence could be shattered and feelings hurt.

  What Richard would say when he saw Amelia's choice she didn't want to dwell on, but she hoped that she wouldn't be there when she took it out of the bag.

  Choosing a present for Richard was a less hazardous matter. Amelia had only so much saved up, so the choice was limited and a leather-bound photograph album was eventually gift-wrapped and paid for.

  As they came out of the shop Amelia said, 'I thought that Dad could collect all the loose photographs of Mum that are lying around and put them in there. What do you think, Freya...um...Sister Farnham?'

  She smiled.

  'I think that's a lovely idea...and so will he. And, Amelia, by all means call me Freya when we're away from the school. Sister Farnham is such a mouthful.'

  CHAPTER FIVE

  When Richard came back to the car park they were waiting for him and the sight of the woman and the child side by side made his heart beat faster.

  They were so alike, especially now that Freya's hair was its natural colour. Yet it was a resemblance that would only occur to those who had cause to suspect a connection.

  Seeing them together made him feel more guilty than ever. If Freya had made a fuss or demanded proof, he wouldn't have been feeling so bad, but she'd accepted what he'd told her, trusted him completely on short acquaintance—and that was exceptional, to say the least.

  Yet people usually did trust him and in the past their confidence had never been misplaced. But in this one thing, with this one person, he hadn't been honest. And though he'd had good reason, it wasn't making him feel any better.

  'Hi, there,' he said easily, as if he hadn't a care. 'How did the shopping go?'

  'Very well,' she told him with a vision of Amelia in the skimpy top in her mind's eye.

  As he opened the boot of the car so they could stack their parcels inside Richard turned to Freya and said, 'I thought I'd take you to eat at the Queens Hotel.'

  Amelia pulled a face.

  'We'd rather go to McDonald's, wouldn't we, Alice?'

  When Alice nodded in agreement he smiled.

  'All right, then. McDonald's it is for you. But once you've eaten, you come to find us. No wandering around the town as it will be dark soon. You know where the Queens Hotel is, don't you, Amelia?'

  'Yes,' she told him. 'It's that swish place at the end of the promenade.'

  'Correct. So off you go. Stay together and don't speak to any strangers. All right?'

  'Yes, Dad,' she said obediently, and off they went.

  'We could all have gone to McDonald's,' Freya said when they'd disappeared from sight.

  He shook his head.

  'No, Freya. You've had them both all afternoon. The least I can do is take you somewhere decent.'

  'Yes, but am I dressed for it?' she questioned.

  'Of course,' he said immediately, observing the long black skirt and beige cashmere jacket she was wearing. 'You look good in whatever you wear.'

  It was a strange moment and as their glances held she felt a stirring of her senses. Was it possible that for a short time they could blot out the disturbing realities of their lives and succumb to the pleasure of being together, just the two of them?

  As Richard took her arm and guided her towards the hotel entrance, Freya smiled up at him and what she saw . in his glance told her that he read her mind.

  'Shall we pretend for a little while that we're just an ordinary couple out together?' he asked softly.

  She glowed up at him. 'Why not?'

  Why not, indeed?

  They were too early for dinner so Richard ordered high tea, and as they faced each other across a low table in the hotel lounge those around them became a blur.

  This was what it was about, Freya thought. The attraction they had for each other had been inevitable from the start.

  It didn't stem from what she'd thought had been her connection with Amelia. They would have been drawn to each other no matter what the circumstances. It was as if they'd been destined to meet.

  'So, tell me what you're thinking,' he said in a low voice.

  'It may not be what you want to hear.'

  'Tel me just the same.'

  'All right. I was thinking that you and I could have something special if we wanted.'

  Freya watched his expression close up and thought dismally that they weren't as in tune as she'd thought. She was rushing him and he wasn't ready.

  Reaching across the table, she took his hand in hers.

&
nbsp; 'I'm sorry, Richard. I wasn't intending to make less of your grief over Jenny, but I do feel that if I hadn't been fortunate enough to find my daughter out here in the Cotswolds, I might have found something else that is precious.'

  She could tell that she was making matters worse. He was eyeing her with a granite-like gravity that she wasn't to know came from guilt.

  'You were right to think I mightn't want to hear what you had to say,' he said slowly. 'Forgive me, Freya, but I do feel that this isn't the moment for baring our souls.'

  As he watched her colour rise, Richard wished it was. Wished he could tell her that Amelia was hers, that he'd lied, and that, as a completely separate thing, he was so entranced by her he ached to do something about it.

  But all he could do was grit his teeth and get on with it, behave as normally as possible, and make sure that she saw Amelia at every possible opportunity.

  His own needs he would have to put to one side. He'd been desperate to have Freya to himself for a little while and should have known better. In future he would remind himself that there was safety in numbers, and as if to prove the point, at that moment someone from the hotel reception came to say that his daughter was in the foyer.

  As the two girls led the way back to the car, with Freya and Richard bringing up the rear, she was about to tell him that she understood how he felt. That there was no one more accustomed to the waiting game than herself, but he forestalled and amazed her by saying, 'You never did get around to dining with us, did you? How about us giving it another try?'

  She swivelled round to face him.

  'Are you serious? After what you said at the hotel? I would have thought it was the last thing you would want after what happened when you invited me round before.'

  'That was then. This is now. Freya...there's no reason why we can't be friends. You get on well with Amelia, so why not?'

  'Yes, I suppose I could,' she agreed doubtfully, 'but only if you're sure.'

  He'd never been less sure of anything in his life, Richard thought dismally. Yet he hadn't been able to resist asking after making such a hash of things earlier. There Was something about her that made him want to see more, to hear more, to know more. He was fascinated by her, and knew it was asking for trouble.