Allie’s little hand is in mine as we walk through the terminal and make our way to the taxis. We don’t have any checked baggage, and she’s wearing her favourite pink backpack that’s almost as big as she is. She squeezes my hand. “I’m excited!â€� She exclaims as she skips beside me. “I always wanted to meet Rosie. She seems nice.â€� “She is. But how would you even know?â€� Allie shrugs. “I saw a message flash on your screen. She was saying hello. She just seems nice, the way she talks.â€� I say nothing, wondering why Allie never mentioned anything. Probably because I never did. We walk the rest of the way in silence, and climb in a taxi. I give the driver the name of the hospital that Harper gave me before staring at Allie. She and I are probably not the gift basket she had in mind when she agreed to give me Rosie’s hospital room. We speed through the streets but it’s somehow too slow. Allie’s nose is glued to the window as she stares at the city. She makes noises and points at buildings as they race by. I smile. Maybe it’s good that I brought her here, took her out of LA to see something different. The cab weaves through the streets and as we get closer my heart starts beating faster. I haven’t seen Rosie in six months, and now I’m bursting in as she’s about to give birth to a child that I’m not even sure is mine. What if the real father is there? What if I’m wrong and I burst in on their intimate family moment? I’ll look like an idiot, and a creep. My career will be over, that’s for sure. I am a creep, asking for her location and then just showing up. That’s the definition of creepy. God, what am I doing?! Before my thoughts can spiral out of control, Allie’s hand finds mine and she gives it a squeeze. She smiles at me and nods slightly. I relax my shoulders down and smile back at her. We’re here now, and there’s no turning back. If the baby isn’t mine, if Rosie has someone else, if she’s alone but she wants nothing to do with me – it doesn’t matter. I’ll have done my best to come here and let her know that I’m available. I want her, I want the kid, I want a family again. We pull up to the hospital and I pay the fare before climbing out of the cab. Allie comes around to stand beside me, once again slipping her fingers into mine. “You ready?â€� She asks. “Not in the slightest,â€� I respond, laughing. “I’m shitting myself.â€� “Swear jar!â€� She says as she pokes me in the ribs and laughs. “It’ll be ok, Dad. I can’t wait to meet my little brother!â€� “What if it’s a girl?â€� Allie shrugs one shoulder and looks at me, pressing her lips into a thin line. “It’s not, but if it is, I’ll be just as happy.â€� I laugh and shake my head. “Ok, kiddo. Let’s go.â€� The glass doors slide open and we step through. The reception desk is just to the left, with hallways shooting off in every direction. There’s a waiting room to the right and a few people glance up as Allie and I walk in. I look at the boards to try to find the maternity wing before giving up and heading to reception. “Hi, here to see Rosie Jackson.â€� The woman stares at me blankly. “Any idea what she’s here for?â€� “Right. She’s uh – she’s giving birth. She’s having a baby. Maternity. Room 213 I think?â€� I stumble over my words and cringe at how awkward I sound. The woman doesn’t seem to notice, she just nods and slides her glasses down to the end of her nose to look at the computer screen in front of her. She taps a few things and then looks back at me. “Just down that hall, to the left. Take the west elevators to the third floor and then turn right. You’ll see another set of elevators with maternity written above them. Take them to the second floor and that’s where she is.â€� She frowns as she looks at the screen. “Looks like she’s gone into the delivery room already. When you get to the maternity floor turn left and ask the reception what room she’s in, I don’t have access to that information here. You’d better hurry or you’ll miss all the action.â€� “All the… action?â€� “Let’s go!â€� Allie shouts as she pulls my arm towards the elevator. “Dad, let’s go!â€� I’m in a daze. Even though I came across the country and found out where Rosie is and brought Allie, it’s just hitting me now. Rosie is giving birth. She might be giving birth right this instant. I might see the birth of my second kid. Something stirs inside me and all the doubt evaporates from me. I know this baby is mine. I can sense it in the depths of my heart, in the depths of my stomach, or my soul, or wherever. All I know is that it’s mine. I don’t know how I know, but as Allie pulls me down those stark white hospital hallways, I know that I’m going to be a father again any minute now. My mind goes blank and my heart starts beating, sending waves of warmth through to every extremity. Allie drags me along and I float down the hallways, feeling like my body belongs to someone else and I’m just along for the ride. We find the elevators, take them to the third floor, turn right, and see the big black words above the second set of elevators: MATERNITY. Allie jumps up and presses the ‘up’ arrow. She squeezes my hand and I look down at her, still in a daze. I’m about to meet my second child. I’m about to see Rosie. I’m about to introduce them both to my other daughter. This is either going to be the best moment of my life or the undeniable, absolute worst. Chapter 44 – Rosie
There’s shouting and sweating and swearing and grunting and I’m not sure what’s my voice and what’s everyone else’s. The pain is excruciating. I know I’m crushing Harper’s hand, somewhere in the back corner of my mind I register my knuckles turning white and the tips of her fingers turning bright red, but all that I can focus on is the pain. The contractions are coming fast now and they are more intense than I could have imagined. It’s like menstrual pain times a million. The contraction subsides and the doctor pops his head up. “Ok, the next contraction it’ll be time to push like you’ve never pushed before. Do you understand?� he asks. His cheerfulness has been replaced with complete focus. “Get this baby out of me,� I gasp between pants. The doctor grins. “Yes, ma’am.� “And don’t call me ma’am,� I say before leaning my head back. Harper presses a damp towel to my forehead. “You’re doing great.� I close my eyes and feel the next contraction start building in the pit of my stomach. I can sense the wave of pain start to build and build and the nurse beside me lifts my shoulders up and grabs my other hand. “Ready? Three, two, one, PUSH.� I’ve heard of ‘bearing down’, of ‘pushing’, I’ve read about childbirth, but nothing prepared me for the feeling I’m experiencing right now. I’m not sure if I’m pushing a baby out or trying to empty my entire abdomen of all my organs. My body is being torn in half. I hear my self scream as my face contorts, my teeth clamping down and tears streaming out of my closed eyes. “That’s it!� The doctor calls out. “Keep pushing! Just a little bit more!� My vision is going white and I think I’m going to pass out when the contraction starts to subside. The nurse pats my shoulder and helps me lean back. “Deep breaths, now, Rosie. You’re doing great. Deep breaths, in and out,� she models the breaths for me and I try to follow her lead. My heart is hammering against my chest and the tears are still streaming out of my eyes. I breathe in, close my eyes, and blow the air out slowly through my mouth. “That’s it,� she says, patting my shoulder. “Just keep breathing.� Just when my heartbeat feels like it’s starting to slow down, I feel my contraction start again. I groan and open my eyes, lifting my shoulders up with the nurse’s help. “Ok, this is it, Rosie, you can do it.� They say pain is nothing, it’s temporary and it’s in the mind. But right now, pain is real, it’s visceral, and it’s never-ending. It twists through my stomach and sends arrows of a
gony through my veins. It wraps itself around my spine and squeezes me like a huge fist. It burns as it shoots through my entire body and all I can do is scream, swear, gasp, and push. As if I’m under water, I hear the doctor say something about the head. He’s talking excitedly but all I hear is gurgling and many voices around me. Harper squeezes my hand and suddenly the pressure between my legs is relieved. The doctor slides his hands back and I see a glimpse of my baby through my blurry, tear-filled eyes. “What is it? Is it ok?â€� I gasp, not understanding what’s going on. The baby is handed off to a nurse who takes it to the nearby bassinet. The nurses and doctor crowd around and work quickly and efficiently as Harper stands next to me, squeezing my hand. The seconds tick by and I lift my head towards them. “What’s going on?â€� I croak again. The fear starts building inside me when no one answers. Finally, relief flows through me as I hear the screams of my newborn baby. Its cries get louder and louder as the medical team works over it until the doctor steps back, beaming. My eyes are glued on the bassinet, tears still streaming down my face. My hair is plastered to my forehead and all I can do is pant and wait. “Congratulations!â€� The nurse exclaims as she turns around and places the baby gently on my chest. “You have a beautiful, healthy baby boy.â€� The minute my son touches my chest an overwhelming wave of love fills me to the brim. I look at his little scrunched face and start laughing and crying and laughing some more. Harper strokes my shoulder. “He’s beautiful,â€� she whispers. “Just beautiful.â€� “He looks like an alien,â€� I laugh, looking at his lumpy head and wrinkly face. He has patchy, bright red hair all over his head. “But he’s my little alien.â€� I stroke his tiny arm with my finger and start laughing again. I’m completely in love. I’ve never felt anything like it. I’m in a daze, and I don’t know if it’s pain or medicine or love but I have eyes only for my son. It’s not until I hear someone clear their throat that I look up. The nurse steps forward. “Excuse me, sir, you can’t be in here.â€� She puts her hands up towards him to usher him out. Time stops and his eyes meet mine. He looks at me with pure wonder and I notice he has tears streaming down his cheeks as well. “Lucas?â€� Harper says, confused and a little bit horrified. “What are you doing here?â€� “It’s ok,â€� I croak, and then say it a bit louder. “It’s ok.â€� The nurse turns towards me and then glances back at him suspiciously. He takes a step forward, still not saying anything. “Rosie, if you want this man to leave just tell me,â€� the nurse says. I shake my head. “It’s ok,â€� I repeat. “He’s the father.â€� Chapter 45 – Lucas
“What are you doing here! Is this your idea of a fucking gift basket!?� Harper exclaims, but I hardly hear her. I had to push past Zach’s shocked face outside and I know I might not have a job after this, but it doesn’t even matter. All that matters right now is that little baby boy resting on Rosie’s chest. The nurse moves closer and I watch her cut the umbilical cord and then swaddle the tiny baby in a cloth. Harper says something else but I don’t hear her. I don’t hear anything. All I can see is Rosie and the baby. “Just a little bit more work to do, and then we’ll be all clear,� the doctor says. I don’t know what he’s talking about, but I walk up to the bed as Harper slides out of the way. She looks at me in shock but says nothing as I slip my fingers into Rosie’s. “You look beautiful,� I say. She laughs. “Liar.� The nurse gives Rosie a questioning look and she nods. Before I know what’s happening, there’s a tiny baby in my arms. He’s so light and so small and all of a sudden I’m terrified of hurting him. I remember how I felt twelve years ago, when Allie was born. That fierce, overwhelming protectiveness washes over me and I look at the little boy, bringing my lips down to his forehead. My son. I know he’s mine. “Ok, Rosie, just a couple more little pushes, we’ll stitch you up and you’ll be ready to go. Mr Dad, you stand out of the way.� The nurses and doctor work quickly to deliver the afterbirth and stitch Rosie up. I stay near her head, and sit down so she can reach over and touch our child. “I wanted to tell you, Lucas. I just… How… how did you know it was yours?� She asks, her face drawn with worry. I kiss our son’s forehead again. “The timing. I don’t know Rosie, I justknew. You’d told me you hadn’t slept with anyone.� “And you believed me?� I frown as I laugh. “Is that a bad thing? Should I not believe you?� “No, I mean, of course. But wouldn’t you feel better getting a paternity test? So you can be sure?� I look back down at the baby in my arms and am so full of love for him that all I can do is chuckle. “I don’t need one, Rosie. I know he’s mine. Ours.� I look at her just in time to see her eyes starting to mist up. “Still,� she says. I place the baby back in her arms and she nuzzles her face into the bundle of cloth. Both of us turn towards the door when Allie speaks up. “I knew it was a boy!� She’s peering around the corner shyly with a huge grin across her face. Rosie stiffens and I put my hand on her arm. “Uh, Rosie. This is my daughter, Allie.� Rosie’s eyes widen and she looks from me to her. “Allie…� Allie marches forward and sticks out her hand. “Nice to meet you,� she says, shaking Rosie’s hand gently. “Congratulations.� “Daughter…� Rosie says, looking from me to Allie. “I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid you wouldn’t be interested in me and then I thought I wouldn’t come back to New York, and I… I don’t know. I’m sorry Rosie.� Allie takes a step forward and looks over towards the baby in Rosie’s arms. “He’s wrinkly,� she announces. “Allie!� I say, but Rosie laughs. “I know. He looks like a tiny old man,� she replies, stroking the baby’s cheek with a soft, motherly touch. She kisses his forehead and Allie laughs. “A cute tiny old man. Dad, this is my brother, right?� My throat tightens. “I, uh, yes. Half-brother.� “Brother,� Allie announces. She squints at the little bundle. “I think he looks like me.� I laugh. “I thought he looked like a wrinkly old man?� Allie shrugs. “He also looks like me.� “Alright kiddo, go wait for me outside. I’ll be a couple minutes.� Allie scrunches her face but says nothing, instead leaning over and giving Rosie a kiss on the cheek. She turns around and skips out the hospital door and I turn back to Rosie. “That wasn’t the introduction I had in mind,� I say. I’m sheepish, hardly daring to look at Rosie. “Well this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind either,� she replies. “What are you doing here?� “I went to your hospital room and they said you were delivering the baby here.� She laughs. “No, I mean, what are you doing HERE. At the hospital. With me. In New York.� The weight of the question hangs between us. It’s hard to swallow as I try to think of something to say. “I heard you were due and I did the math. I know it’s crazy. I didn’t even know you were pregnant, Rosie. I would have called.� She shakes her head and the nurse comes to take the baby. “Alright Dad. It’s time to give her some space. We’ll get you cleaned up and then back in your room in no time and you guys can talk some more then.� Rosie looks at me and I get up. “I should go see Allie. Do you want anything?� She shakes her head. “I’ll see you back in the hospital room.� All I can do is nod and step outside, closing the door softly behind me and letting all the air out of my lungs. I lean against it with my eyes close and don’t move until I hear Harper’s voice. I open my eyes to see her standing in front of me, arms crossed with one eyebrow raised. “Now, Mr. Thorne. Are you going to explain to me why the fuck you
thought this was appropriate?â€� Chapter 46 – Rosie
Knocked Up by the Single Dad: A Secret Baby Office Romance Page 14