A True Love of Mine

by Margaret Thornton

  Maddy frowned. ‘I s’pose so,’ she muttered. ‘Mam said I had to…to call her Aunty Bella. But I don’t really…’ She stopped, realising she had said quite enough and it would not be very nice to say that she didn’t like Bella. ‘Yes…thank you,’ she said, with a little more of a smile now. ‘I’d like to call you Aunty Faith.’

  ‘Well then, that’s lovely,’ replied her new aunt… What was it you were going to ask me, Maddy?’

  ‘Oh yes… I wondered if you were coming to Scarborough again in the summer. Jessie said you might, in her letter at Christmas, but she wasn’t sure.’

  ‘Yes, indeed,’ replied Faith. ‘All being well we will all be here again. That is to say…myself and the children.’ Maddy thought she looked rather troubled for a moment. Then she smiled again. ‘It will be something for us all to look forward to, won’t it?’

  Maddy nodded. ‘Yes…’ she said, frowning a little. ‘Aunty Faith… It’s not wrong to look forward to things, is it? Mam would’ve wanted us to be happy again, wouldn’t she?’

  ‘Of course she would,’ said Faith.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Bella had been watching the touching little scene of Faith Barraclough comforting Maddy, firstly in the chapel and at the graveside, and later in the family living room. She felt a spasm of resentment, but she also had the good sense to know that it was her own fault that she could not be the one to offer sympathy and support to the little girl. Firstly, there was the antipathy that had developed between the two of them over the years. And now…well, it was not surprising that Maddy would not turn to her, Bella, for comfort after what she had seen in the bedroom…or imagined she had seen. Bella was still determined to win her round by acting as though nothing out of the ordinary had taken place. And if by any chance Maddy should tell anyone about the incident in the sickroom…well then, it would be Bella’s word against hers. That woman, Faith, would be gone by tomorrow; in fact it was likely that she would be departing quite soon. And then Maddy would need a different sympathetic ear.

  Bella had noticed, too, that William had not spoken very much to Faith since they had returned from the cemetery. He was standing talking to a couple of men from the chapel; at least, they were doing most of the talking and he was listening, nodding now and again or shaking his head. She had seen him wince slightly at one point at the sound of laughter coming from a corner of the room. As well he might, she thought; although the laughter was fairly subdued it was certainly not a time for hilarity. Some folk had no sense of decorum or feeling for the bereaved.

  William’s face was grey and drawn, as was only to be expected; but she thought that not only did he look sad and perplexed, but ill as well. He put his hand to his forehead once or twice, then she saw him reach for his handkerchief and mop his brow. William was ill. She was sure of it. It took all her self-control for her not to jump up and go over to him, but she stayed where she was.

  ‘I’m sorry… What did you say, Polly?’ she asked. ‘I was only half listening. I was watching Mr Moon – Mr William, I mean – and thinking he doesn’t look at all well… Were you asking if we would be open again tomorrow?’

  ‘Aye, that’s what I wanted to know, Miss Randall… Oh deary me, yes! He does look poorly doesn’t he, poor man? He’ll be missing her summat awful though, won’t he? They were a lovely couple. Happen that’s what’s wrong with him, eh? Just that he’s sad, like. You don’t think he’s caught that ’fluenza thing, do you, like Mrs Moon had?’

  ‘We must hope not, Polly,’ said Bella with a sigh. That girl didn’t half chatter lately. She had come out of her shell since being given more responsibility in the shop, but she would have to learn her place again. She, Bella, was manageress now. ‘In answer to your question; yes, we will be reopening in the morning and then for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Just to show that we’re in business again. And then on Monday it will be back to normal; business as usual. You will be paid, of course, for today, and for the days when we were closed earlier this week. Mr Moon insisted on that.’

  ‘Aye, he’s a good boss, isn’t he?’ remarked Martin, who was sitting with them.

  ‘He is indeed,’ replied Bella, graciously inclining her head. ‘Although it was Mrs Moon, of course, who was in charge of the shop. And now…’ She could not help a slight smile of self-satisfaction, ‘…I will be taking her place as manageress. We will need to advertise for an under-manageress, although there is no immediate hurry. We will have to be sure we appoint somebody who is suitable.’

  ‘Aye; somebody as we can get on with an’ all,’ added Martin. ‘Mrs Moon now; she was a real lovely lady to work for. If there was owt wrong she always told you nicely and didn’t go off the deep end.’

  Bella bristled a little, sensing a note of criticism of herself and her exacting standards in his remark. ‘Mrs Moon didn’t always know what went on in her absence though, did she? She wasn’t there all the time. She was quite often out, helping Mr Moon with the other side of the business. But you can be sure I will be keeping a watchful eye on everything. And so will anyone else that I…that we…appoint.’

  ‘So you will be taking over Mrs Moon’s job then?’ asked Polly.

  ‘Of course I will, you silly girl!’ replied Bella. ‘I’ve just said so, haven’t I? I will be in charge of the shop.’

  ‘Yes, I know about that. But what I mean is…t’ other part of it. You know; going out and helping Mr Moon with…with laying out bodies an’ all that? That’s what Mrs Moon did, didn’t she?’

  Bella gave a start. ‘No…no, of course not. That won’t be part of my duties. At least… I don’t think so. Mr Moon will appoint someone else, I’m sure, to help him with that side of things.’

  It really had not occurred to her at all that she might be asked to help William in his undertaking duties. No, of course she wouldn’t… There were already Isaac and Patrick, and if they should need another pair of hands then it would be someone more accustomed to the task. But as she thought about it, it came to her, in that split second, that there could be no better way, surely, of gaining William’s gratitude and friendship than by offering to assist him in that side of his work. She guessed he might need a woman’s help, sometimes, if the deceased person was a female. And who better than herself? She, Bella, was not a squeamish sort of person. Admittedly, she had not had a great deal of experience of death, certainly not of laying out bodies, but she could learn…

  She realised that she hadn’t spoken for several moments. Martin and Polly were looking at her with puzzled expressions. ‘Mr Moon will see to everything in time, I suppose,’ she said. ‘Now, if you will excuse me; I’ll just have a word with Mrs Barraclough before she goes.’

  Faith had stood up and was gathering together her gloves, scarf and bag; Maddy, it seemed, had gone to fetch her coat from the hallway. ‘You are on your way then, are you, Mrs Barraclough?’ Bella asked, smiling at the woman in a friendly manner. ‘Are you going back to York this afternoon?’

  ‘Yes, there is a train mid-afternoon,’ replied Faith. ‘I want to get back before it goes dark. These winter evenings are so dismal… It has been a very sad occasion, hasn’t it, Miss Randall? I hadn’t known Clara very long, and I could scarcely believe it when William wrote to tell me she had died. I felt I had to be here.’

  ‘Yes, indeed,’ Bella nodded understandingly. ‘And I was pleased to see you befriending little Maddy. Poor child! She will need someone to confide in for the next few weeks or so. I will do what I can, of course…Clara and I had been friends for a long time, you know.’

  ‘So I believe…’ Faith’s blue eyes looked directly into Bella’s black ones and, to her annoyance, Bella felt herself looking away from the woman’s searching glance. There was no chance to speak any more as Maddy came back with Faith’s coat, and then William appeared.

  ‘You’re going, Faith?’ he enquired. ‘Of course…you will want to catch a train to get you home before dark, won’t you? Come along then; I’ll see you out into the str
eet and we’ll call a hansom cab.’

  Faith kissed Maddy gently on the cheek. ‘Goodbye, my dear,’ Bella heard her say. ‘Jessie will be writing to you soon…and it won’t be all that long before we see you all again. God bless you, darling.’

  When Bella looked round Maddy had gone over to the other side of the room to talk to her brother. Her back was turned towards Bella, but whether it was by accident or design she did not know. She didn’t feel like talking to anyone else; many of the guests, indeed, were people she knew only by sight. She set about keeping busy by collecting empty cups and plates and placing them on the table.

  In a few minutes William returned, and it was even more obvious now that he was most unwell. He had had the sense to put on his coat and hat and muffler before going out into the cold air with Faith, and now he almost staggered into the living room, flopping down into the nearest easy chair without even taking off his hat.

  ‘William… Hey, what’s up, lad?’ His father hurried across to him. ‘You’ve gone a funny colour… Tek yer hat off and loosen yer coat.’ Isaac popped the trilby hat on the nearby sideboard and felt at his son’s forehead. He nodded solemnly. ‘Aye, you’re boiling up, aren’t you, lad? Why didn’t you say you were feeling poorly, like? I knew meself as you weren’t too grand, but I thought it was happen…well, you know…because it’s a sad day, for you more than for any of us.’

  ‘I thought I’d be all right,’ said William. ‘I knew I had to keep going for our Patrick and Maddy’s sake. But now, I’d best face up to the fact that I’ve got what Clara had.’

  ‘Well, we don’t know that, do we, but we must get t’ doctor right away,’ said Isaac. He turned round to see his grandchildren standing there staring at their father, both of them looking worried and frightened. ‘Go and phone for t’ doctor, Patrick, lad,’ he said. ‘Quick sharp now. Dr Metcalfe; his number’s in t’ little book on t’ hallstand.’

  But Bella was there too, standing behind them. ‘It’s all right, Mr Moon,’ she said. ‘I’ll do it.’ She put a hand on Patrick’s arm, who looked too petrified to move. ‘I’ll phone the doctor, Patrick. I can see you’ve had a shock. But your father will be all right, I’m sure. You stay and look after your sister.’

  ‘Thank you, Bella,’ said Isaac Moon. He did not smile, but he gave her a look which, she thought, was one of gratitude. ‘Tell him it’s urgent, won’t you? We’d best get him into t’ bedroom. Here, Jack…’ He called to one of the men from the chapel. ‘Come and give us a hand, will yer? We’ll get our Will upstairs and sorted out a bit afore t’ doctor arrives.’

  William gave a wry sort of smile as he got to his feet again. ‘I can manage to walk a few steps, Father. And get meself undressed an’ all. I’m not helpless. I’m not going to argue though.’ He gave a deep sigh. ‘It seems as though it’s my turn now.’

  ‘What does he mean, Patrick?’ asked Maddy, clutching hold of her brother’s arm. She had heard her father’s last few words as he went out of the door, leaning on his friend for support. ‘He said it was his turn now. You don’t think he means that he’s going to…to die, do you, like Mam did?’

  ‘No, of course not,’ said Patrick, although he, too, looked pretty pale and scared. ‘He meant it was time that he went to bed, like Mam had to do. But just because Mam died it doesn’t mean our dad’s going to die an’ all. He’s strong, isn’t he? He’ll be all right. Everybody knows that men are stronger than women.’

  Maddy didn’t comment, as she might have done, at the slur on her sex, except to say, ‘Mam was strong too, but she didn’t get better. And we know why, don’t we, Patrick? I told you what I saw.’

  ‘And I told you to forget about it!’ said her brother in a harsh whisper. ‘You could cause a lot of trouble if you start going on about something you imagined you saw.’

  ‘I didn’t imagine it! I told you…Bella had a pillow…’

  ‘Shhh!’ Patrick looked round anxiously, but no one seemed to be taking any notice of the two of them. ‘You’ve got to promise you won’t say another word, not to anybody. It’s too late now anyway. And you can see, can’t you, that Bella’s trying to be helpful.’ The woman had just re-entered the room after phoning the doctor. She came across to the brother and sister. It was Patrick to whom she spoke.

  ‘Don’t worry, Patrick. Dr Metcalfe will be here just as soon as he can. He has no doubt but that it’s influenza, and he’ll bring some of the same medicine that your mother was taking.’

  ‘But it didn’t do her any good, did it?’ said Maddy sullenly, looking down and kicking at the hearthrug instead of looking straight at Bella.

  ‘No, dear,’ said Bella, shaking her head sadly. ‘I’m afraid it didn’t, and that’s all I can say. But your father will get better; I feel sure of it. Now… I’ll just go and say goodbye to Martin and Polly…’

  Most of the guests had departed now, not wanting to linger when they could see that their host, too, had been taken ill. Bella carried the remaining crockery into the kitchen and, without anyone inviting her to do so, picked up a pot towel and started to dry the dishes, along with the chapel ladies who had been in charge of the catering. They smiled vaguely in her direction but, by and large, they worked in silence. Bella was only killing time whilst awaiting the arrival of the doctor. She intended to offer to help in looking after William, as she had done with his wife.

  No…not in exactly the same way, of course. The wickedness of what she had so very nearly done came to the forefront of her mind again – although it was never far away at any time – and she almost dropped a cup. There had to be some way in which she could make amends, not only for the sake of her own guilty conscience, but to William as well for the loss of his wife. If she was given the chance she would look after him diligently and lovingly. Her love for him must not be allowed to show, though, until such time as William recognised himself that the two of them belonged together.

  But supposing…supposing William were to die, as his wife had done? Then that would be God’s judgement upon her, she reflected, for her wickedness. But could God really be so cruel as to punish her in such a way; a way which would cause others to suffer; Isaac, Patrick and Maddy as well as William? No, of course not. She was allowing her imagination to run riot. Hurriedly she hung up her pot towel and left the kitchen.

  The other women glanced at one another and smiled secretly as she went. One of them put a finger to her nose in an eloquent gesture. ‘Hoity-toity madam!’ she said.

  ‘Aye; far too big for her boots is that ’un,’ said another.

  ‘We don’t want her looking after our dad,’ said Maddy to Patrick, when Bella had left them. ‘You don’t think Grandad would be silly enough to let her nurse him, like she was supposed to be doing with Mam, do you?’

  ‘No, I shouldn’t think so,’ said Patrick. But he guessed that Bella Randall would never let anything happen to his father. If – and it was a very big ‘if’ – Maddy had been right in what she had seen; if Bella really had been trying to do some harm to their mam, then Patrick knew what the woman’s motives must have been. She must have wanted his father for herself…

  The enormity of what that meant struck him forcibly now. Bella…and his father! He remembered, now, little instances that had not meant very much at the time. How he had seen Bella smile at his father in a secretive sort of way, and how she looked at him, sometimes, when he was not aware of it. Patrick recalled, too, some of his grandfather’s remarks; hints of something that had gone on in the past between the two of them; and he knew, of course, that Grandad had never liked her.

  Bella…and his father… As he thought of the two of them now he almost cried out in horror. No! No…that was something that must never be allowed to happen. Maddy might not have realised the significance of what she had seen; if, indeed, she had seen anything at all. And he, Patrick, was not going to put any further doubts into her mind by telling her that Bella might well have designs on their father. No…Maddy was too young to know about such things.r />
  She was looking at him questioningly. ‘No,’ he said again. ‘Don’t be silly, Maddy. It wouldn’t be right for Bella to nurse Dad, would it? She’s not a relation or anything. Grandad’ll probably get a nurse in while he’s poorly.’

  And that was exactly what happened. Bella lingered, trying to occupy herself until the doctor had been and gone. She went back into the kitchen, which the catering ladies had already left in apple-pie order, and started to re-tidy it, straightening the pots in the cupboards and making sure that the remnants of food in the pantry were covered up. She wanted to keep out of the sight of Patrick and Maddy; she imagined that the girl was still eyeing her malevolently. All the mourners had gone now apart from Louisa, who seemed to regard herself as one of the family; and Jack, a friend of William’s from the chapel who had helped to get him into bed.

  Normally she, Bella, would have departed by now. There would have been no reason to hang around; and she knew that by doing so she was really drawing attention to herself. But she had as much right as anyone, hadn’t she? – certainly as much as Louisa Montague – to wait and hear the doctor’s verdict. After all, she was now officially the shop manageress, a post which she had been doing for years anyway, and William’s condition was as much her business as anyone’s. Isaac might want her to help out again in other ways; she thought he had been rather more polite to her of late than he had used to be.

  She ventured into the living room when she heard the doctor’s voice. He had examined William and was talking to the family members – and Louisa – who were all hanging on his words. But they did not appear to be too anxious, which was a good sign.

  ‘It’s influenza, as I thought,’ said Dr Metcalfe, steepling his fingers and tapping them together. He shook his head bemusedly. ‘It’s certainly got the upper hand in the town right now; one wonders how long it’s going to continue… But I’m pleased to say that Mr Moon does not appear to have been affected too badly. He feels pretty groggy at the moment, of course. He is running a temperature and aching all over and his throat is sore. However, I’ve given him a dose of the new drug they’re calling aspirin, and the rest of it is there, to be taken regularly. I realise it didn’t help Mrs Moon very much in the end, but I have every confidence that William has a much better chance of recovery.