“No thank you, ma’am,” he said. “I was actually hoping I might catch Asa if he’s around.”
“Well, you just missed him.” Mother gave him a smile, but I could tell it wasn’t her real one. “He and Henry had to go into town this morning to get a few things. They should be back by dinner. You’re welcome to come back if you need to.”
He looked around the room like he was sizing everything up. “I reckon I could speak to Miss Ruby then if that’s all right.”
Mother looked over at me and raised her eyebrows. I shrugged and wiped off my hands on my apron. “That’d be fine with me.”
We took a seat at the table, Mother and I on one side and Brother Cass facing us on the other. As he situated himself in the chair, I got the feeling he wasn’t here for a friendly visit. In fact, I got the distinct impression I was in trouble. I wondered if he was going to tell Mother how I’d behaved the last time we spoke.
“I understand you brought your Uncle Asa over to see Matthew yesterday,” he said.
“Yes, sir.” My heart picked up a notch. “He’s all right, isn’t he? Did something happen?”
“Oh, no. He’s better than all right. I’d say those lungs of his are as clear as can be.”
I let out my breath and smiled, but I noticed Brother Cass seemed to be studying me closer. “Well, praise the Lord.”
“Yes,” he said, nodding. “Praise God, indeed. Seems he was at death’s door till you and Asa came along.”
“Well…” I glanced over at Mother who was staring at Brother Cass like she might up and toss him out at any minute.
“Is there something you’re concerned about, Brother Cass?” she asked.
“Mrs. Graves, I don’t have to remind you of Asa’s history. I hope you’re being mindful of his influence on your children.”
Mother’s back stiffened. “Yes, I’m very aware of Asa’s past, more than most. I appreciate your concern, but rest assured, all is well.”
Brother Cass brought his stern gaze back to me. “Be careful, young lady, that you aren’t led astray by a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”
“Excuse me,” I said, “but if I didn’t know any better, I might think you’re disappointed that Matthew’s health has turned around.”
“Not at all! I rejoice when a fellow brother in Christ is healed and returned to good standing with the Lord. I simply would like to understand how it came about.” He paused and leaned onto the table over his arm, like he was suddenly a kind grandpa giving me friendly advice. “You know, maybe you should do some reading in the Book of Acts on the apostles and their experiences with healing. I think you’ll find that there were false imitators in their day—I believe they were even called magicians—who seemed to be able to work miracles themselves. But that power was not from God, and it was always exposed as the reprehensible trickery that it was.”
I pushed away from the table and stood, ready to defend the power of God that had been present. But Mother’s hand on my arm made me pause, and I remembered Asa’s warning not to say anything. So instead, I walked over to the pail of water in the kitchen and dipped myself a glass, trying my best to control the shaking in my hands. Behind me, I recognized Mother’s warning voice, the quiet tone that said you’d better shape up or something awful was headed your way.
“Brother Cass, thank you again for your concern, but I assure you there’s no cause for it here. Asa is temporarily helping out around our farm, and he and Ruby merely went to pray for Matthew yesterday evening. Now, if Matthew is improving, I’d say that’s cause for great celebration and praise. I’ll be sure to make Asa aware of his recovery, so he can rejoice as well. Now, I do hate to run you off, but we have a lot of work to get done around here today.”
I turned back around to see Brother Cass stand and look between Mother and me. He clenched his fists for only a second before plastering his smile back on his face. “I’m sure Asa has been a great help to you in your time of need. It’s such a shame a fine man like Abner had to leave his family to fend for themselves, especially in such hard times as these. I do hope, Mrs. Graves, that y’all are able to hang onto this farm.”
Mother’s face went white, and she pushed her lips together so hard they turned white as well. Brother Cass nodded a goodbye to us both, and then he was gone.
Before the dust even settled behind his car, Mother came to the kitchen and stood in front of me with her arms crossed over her chest. “Ruby, I told you to keep your distance from Asa, but you don’t seem to be hearing me. Now, I mean it. Everywhere that man goes, no matter his intentions, trouble always follows. And we don’t need any more troubles right now. We got plenty of our own without adding Asa’s.”
I had no idea what to say. To defend Asa would betray his confidence. To stand by silently would mean that people would keep thinking he was a fraud. What could I do? I managed to nod, and I tried to reassure her that everything would be all right. After all, God had worked a miracle right in front of me. Nothing could spoil my joy in that.
I finally made it to the Doyles’ house right before dinner. Seeing Matthew sitting up in his bed with a huge smile on his face washed away all the anxiety from Cass’s visit. Dr. Fisher leaned over him with a stethoscope to his chest, listening intently as Mrs. Doyle and Mary stood around the bed like nervous hens. Of course, I didn’t have to wait for Dr. Fisher; I knew he was better, and it was clear he did too.
Dr. Fisher straightened and bunched his eyebrows together. “Well, your lungs sound stronger than I’ve heard ’em in a very long time. But I still think caution is best. Make sure you rest.”
“So no more basketball?” Matthew winked at me, and my face flushed hot.
“No, nothing that could get your heart rate up, at least for a while. Probably a good idea to get you back to that specialist in Atlanta for an x-ray soon too.”
“Come on, Doc. Lighten up.”
Dr. Fisher tried to smile, but it looked more like a frown. Mary and Mrs. Doyle both hugged him and lavished him with thanks. Then Mary turned to me. “Oh, Ruby, it’s the most wonderful day!”
I laughed as she took my hands. “Really? Why is that? Is old grumpy pants over there actually being sociable?”
“Even better. He’s barely coughed since you left last night, and he’s been able to eat real food. I think he’s eaten twenty biscuits this morning!”
“Hardly twenty,” Matthew said. “But maybe ten.”
I walked over and stood next to Mrs. Doyle, looking down on him with all the joy in my heart. “Still just as much trouble as always, then?”
He grinned, and the new light in his eyes made them shine. “You just thought I was trouble before. Now that my mind ain’t on dying, I can come up with all kinds of things to keep you busy.”
Mrs. Doyle put her hand on his. “Now you heard Dr. Fisher. You have to rest and take it easy.”
“I heard him. Don’t worry, Mother. Ruby’ll take good care of me and keep me out of trouble. Won’t you?”
I glanced down at Mrs. Doyle and caught her quick glance up at me. We’d never discussed what might happen to my job if Matthew got better. It hadn’t seemed important before. She stood and patted me on the back as she spoke.
“Well, I see you’re in good hands. I’ll walk Dr. Fisher out and go make sure dinner is ready. You feel like eating again?”
“Yes, ma’am! I’m starving!”
Mary went downstairs with them, and I was thankful to have a few moments alone with him. I had no idea how much of the night before he remembered, and my curiosity was killing me.
“So, how are you feeling?” I asked.
“Better than I ever have, honestly. I think I could run a mile right now if Doc would let me.”
“Probably best to hold off on that for now.”
“Probably.” He folded his hands in his lap, and the air felt pregnant with all my questions.
“Do you, uh, remember much of last night?”
He rested his head against the headboard and sighed. “I wish I could
remember more, but most of it seemed like a dream. Kinda hard to tell what was really happening and what part was my mind playing tricks on me.”
“Well, what do you remember?”
His face relaxed into an easy smile. “I remember seeing you, being glad you were here. I remember the man you brought with you.”
“My uncle, Asa.”
“Yeah, I remember his face, and it seemed almost like it was glowing.” He laughed and shook his head. “I guess I’s out of it.”
“A little. What did it feel like, you know…could you feel God healing you?”
“I panicked when I couldn’t breathe, but then right after I felt this cool, soothing sensation wash over me, like water running all through my body. And then, slowly I guess, I could tell my coughs were moving that muck out of my lungs, till I didn’t feel nothing in ’em anymore. Then I just fell asleep. It was the best night of sleep I’ve ever had.”
“What about when Asa was praying? Did you feel anything, in the room I mean?”
“In the room? I don’t know. I can’t say I knew exactly when y’all was praying. I just remember that cool, refreshing wave, and I remember being at peace.”
I didn’t know what I should say. Maybe Asa meant for me to keep quiet around Matthew too, but I didn’t understand why. Seemed to me a person should realize when God’s worked a miracle in their life. But I was content at the moment to simply share in his joy. I figured as long as he knew God had healed him, it didn’t matter if he knew who else was in the room praying at the time.
“Brother Cass came to our house this morning asking all kinds of questions,” I said. “Did he come to see you too?”
“Yeah, he was here earlier. You should’ve seen the look on his face when he realized I was getting better. Pure shock!”
“I can’t believe he’s acting like that. It’s like he wanted you to suffer.”
“Nah, I don’t think that’s the case. Once the shock wore off, he seemed pretty pleased that I was feeling better. We had a nice little talk actually, and he thanked God for my deliverance. I can’t really argue with that.”
“He didn’t seem too fired up about it when he came to see me. Seemed like he blamed me and Asa for your healing, like we worked some kind of magic spell on you or something.”
He laughed and shook his head. “He’s a strange kind of man sometimes. I can’t quite figure him out. But I know, and everyone else around here knows, it wasn’t you and Asa. There were lots of folks praying for my healing last night, including old Cass himself. In fact, I been thinking Brother Cass might have been right all along, even if it did put me out of sorts.”
“What?”
“I just mean that once I was at peace with God, you know, once I accepted things as they were, that was when my heart was open to being healed. I was washed of all my sins, and He washed away my sickness too.”
“Wait, so let me get this straight. Now you believe God made you sick so that he could bring about your faith, and then heal you?”
“Oh, stop making this so complicated. I believed God, and you too as a matter of fact. You were the one hollering at me about having faith God would heal me all this time. Who cares about anything but that he did it?”
I sighed and went over to the window. He was right, and I should just move on, but I wanted him to know about Asa’s gift without me having to spill it. Who else in the world was I going to talk to if it wasn’t Matthew? I’d hoped for someone to share my joy and even my confusion with, but I felt more alone than I had in a while. I needed to talk to Asa again. Somehow he was going to have to do a better job of explaining to me what all the secrecy was about, cause I didn’t think I could keep all this bottled up inside me for long. In situations like this, I had a tendency to explode when it was least convenient.
That night I went to bed early cause I was so exhausted, but I couldn’t get my mind quiet enough to fall asleep. I reached over and took Daddy’s Bible off the nightstand and scooted as close to the candle as I could to read. I had no idea what I was looking for, but I needed something to help me make sense of all that had happened. Brother Cass had suggested I read Acts, and even though I’d never give him the satisfaction of knowing I was following his advice, I had to admit it was a good idea to read about the disciples healing people.
I skimmed through the first couple of chapters till I found the part about Peter healing the crippled beggar in chapter three. Seemed to me there was nothing secret about that healing. It was out in front of everyone, and that beggar went around telling anybody that would listen about the miracle. In fact, I found nothing about Peter’s healing that I could say I saw in that room with Asa. So I kept looking. In chapter five, I came across something else that seemed odd. The disciples were performing so many signs and miracles, that people started bringing their sick out and laying them on the side of the road hoping Peter’s shadow might fall on them. Then at the end of this part it said, “and they were healed, every one.”
I was confused to say the least. Why was it all right for the disciples to heal in public as a way of glorifying God, but I had to keep it a secret? I was going to have to find a way to get Asa alone and talk this through before it drove me crazy. In the back of my mind, I could still hear Brother Cass implying in his snide voice that the power flowing through Asa wasn’t from God, and I was determined to prove it was, even if it was only to myself.
Noises in the living room brought my attention back to the present. Mother would be coming in any second to go to bed, so I set Daddy’s Bible back on the table and curled under the quilt. I heard the small creak of the door, and I expected to feel Mother climbing into bed beside me, but the door returned closed, and the room remained quiet. I heard heavy footsteps, boots shuffling across the living room floor over to Daddy’s chair. Then there was talking—low voices that teemed with secrets. I couldn’t resist sliding out from under the covers and pushing my ear up to the crack under the door.
“Have I done something wrong?” Asa asked.
“No.” Mother’s voice was steady, but quiet. “It’s just time.”
“I can handle Cass.”
“I’m sure you can. But I don’t want anything to do with what’s happening with you. I said I’d never let this mess back into my life again, and I meant it. I know you mean well, but you can’t change the past, and I won’t risk my children getting hurt.”
“Lizzie, I’d never hurt them, you know that. They’re great kids, and Ruby is—”
“Please don’t talk about Ruby. I know what you believe. But I won’t allow you to drag her into a war with Cass. And I don’t want her messing around with anything shady.”
There was a loud thud, like Asa had slammed his boots down, and his voice rose. “I’ve paid dearly for my sins, and I realize it wasn’t half the cost that you and Abner paid, but I have sought to make amends in every which way I can. There ain’t nothing shady about a boy on the mend from tuberculosis, especially when an actual doctor has verified it.”
“Please keep your voice down,” Mother pleaded. “You’ll wake Ruby, and then she’ll have her ear all up in everything.”
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
“What have you told her?”
He let out a long sigh. “Nothing of any consequence. Just about my gifts, and about throwing them away.”
“So nothing about us, or about Abner?”
I couldn’t hear his answer cause my heart suddenly beat louder in my ears. I took in a deep breath to slow its pace, and I could hear Mother still talking.
“It would be best for everyone if you went on your way. James and Henry can bring in the crop. We’ll be fine.”
Asa was quiet for a good two minutes. I still wasn’t sure what was going on, but I was now absolutely sure there was mysterious history in this family. My mind was starting to put some pieces together, but I couldn’t figure out how they fit into the larger picture of my parents’ lives. Then I heard Asa moving, walking toward the door that went out
to the dog run and the boys’ bedroom.
“I won’t overstay my welcome. Thank you for your hospitality, Elizabeth. I’ll be gone by sunup.”
“I didn’t mean you had to leave immediately. At least say goodbye to the kids. They’ll miss you.”
“It’s best if I don’t. Give ’em my love, won’t you? They are fine boys, you know. James is a lot like his daddy, and he has a heart of gold. Grace would be real proud.”
“Don’t. Please don’t speak that name.” Mother’s voice shook. “I have forgiven you, and we’ve tried to move on. But you may not speak of her. Understand?”
All was quiet for what seemed like several minutes. Then I heard the side door open and close. I scrambled back into the bed as quietly as possible, where my head swirled with names I didn’t recognize and implications I couldn’t reconcile. I knew Mother would never tell me anything, and Asa was as good as gone. So I was going to have to come up with another way of figuring out the truth.
Chapter Ten
I spent the first couple of weeks of June trying to think up ways to go after Asa and get him to tell me everything I needed to know, but I had no way of knowing where he went after that last night he spent at our place. So whenever I wasn’t tending to my chores at home or my duties at the Doyles’ house, I’d slip off to the creek that ran along the edge of our property and old Mr. Martin’s place to do my deep thinking. Really the creek was on his property, but seeing as how he didn’t have any children or grandchildren, he was kind enough to let me and my brothers play and fish there. It was my favorite place to go in the summer cause there was this particular spot where a small kind of waterfall dropped into a pool that would swirl around before babbling on down further. That pool was deep enough for me to slip all the way under the water if I sat on my bottom, and I’d listen to the gurgle of the water from underneath for as long as I could hold my breath.
My work at the Doyles’ seemed to be dwindling each day as Matthew’s health improved, so I found myself at the creek pondering things more often. If I’d felt trapped in this little town before, it was nothing compared to how I felt after Asa left. How could he just drop into my world, tell me God was going to do all kinds of wonders in my life, and then disappear before he told me how the whole thing worked? I started to think I’d misunderstood him. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to have a gift for healing people at all. Or worse, maybe he’d realized I didn’t have the right kind of faith to do miracles. After all, I’d failed miserably when Matthew needed me most. Of course, the only way to find out would be to talk to him, so I was just going to have to figure out a way to find him.
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