Lizzi Bizzi and the Red Witch

by Stefano Pastor

  They always stay with her, they’re close to her. There are many, thousands and thousands. They never leave her.

  The crickets.

  April 2010

  A BOY AND HIS DOG

  Translation by Alfio Loreti

  Kow must have been his name. That was how the boy called him. The first time I saw him I was scared, but Egon wasn’t, he was just having fun. When that huge black dog had jumped over Egon burst out laughing. I started to scream.

  It was many hours since we started working, one shot to another. Lying on that rock, under the sun, with a microscopic bikini that left me almost naked. It had been a spontaneous, instinctive reaction. I had slipped down from the rock, I put my feet in the water and tried to reach the shore.

  Alain went crazy, screaming at the whole world, at least so it seemed to me because I couldn’t understand a single word of French, and when he was upset, he went always back to his mother tongue. Egon, undaunted, kept playing with the dog, he probably forgot what we were doing there.

  Even Teresa, the makeup artist, seemed to be getting upset. «Look at you. What you’re doing? You’re all dirty now! Don’t let it scratch you!». Then she turned to me too. «Why did you get in the water? Now we have to start all over again! Dry yourself, at least!».

  Everybody else was laughing, all of them.

  Yes, it might sound like a funny scene, even though I couldn’t find it funny at the moment. That mountain of muscles and hair burst into our set, in the middle of our photo session. Is it possible that that boy haven’t seen the barricades that demarcate our set? At the end of the day I didn’t really care, I was just a model, it was Alain that had to put things back in place.

  And he was screaming, shouting, and the boy was screaming as well, still on the beach, far from us. «Kow! Kow! Kow».

  But Kow didn’t listen to him, he was playing with Egon, who seemed increasingly happy.

  Then the disaster happened. In the excitement Kow got up on two paws and put the others on Egon’s chest, rasping. I saw eight reddish stripes, and Alain saw them too, who yelled so loud to paralyze all of us.

  «Not bad! Not bad! Good dog!», Egon cried. «Pas rien!».

  In fact, the wounds didn’t bleed, but his perfect skin was ruined anyway.

  They were almost funny, Alain and that little boy, both calling his own dog, refusing to obey.

  In the end, Egon was just like Kow, Alain’s faithful little dog. Everyone knew it, they all laughed at them when they were not around.

  I would have feel sorry for Egon, I was sure he wasn’t gay, yet I only felt relief. We were all relieved. Finally a photo session without having to stand the harassment of the photographer in charge.

  I had no idea how Egon could stand him, for a man it was different. Or maybe not, in our job we are all forced to compromise if we want to break through. And Alain was an important photographer, very important. Working with him could be the opportunity we all were looking for.

  Egon was great. Even me, who couldn’t stand sex anymore, I was attracted to him. He was younger, younger than all of us. Nineteen, Alain said, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was even younger.

  He’s been discovered by Alain, who found him in Brazil and had brought him back. He had tied him with an iron-clad contract, and that union was their luck. They understood each other with a simple glimpse, Egon blindly obeyed Alain, whatever he was asking him to do. During the sessions, Alain never had to repeat an order twice. They always worked together, and pictures of Egon’s statuary body and golden skin filled billboards and magazines of half Europe.

  I was old compared to him, old for that future. It was too late, I no longer had any hope. Twenty-six years old. Yes, it was over. This session with Alain would be the pinnacle of my career. There was nothing beyond that.

  What did I do to get there? What was I able to achieve? What a funny question, I should have asked exactly the opposite: what didn’t I do?

  The hurricane reached the beach. Marcel grabbed me abruptly from my wrist. «Wipe yourself», he pushed me against the dresser, who immediately checked my bikini, as if it was a dummy to wear it. Someone threw me a towel because I had wet my legs and a golden sand had stuck to my skin.

  He must have succeeded it, Alain, because he was dragging Egon on the beach. We could still hear the dog barking, but it was out of our sight. I looked for him around, but immediately the dresser hissed, «Stop it!».

  Egon was handled like a dummy too, while Alain and Teresa controlled the red marks on his chest. He probably could see the dog, because he had his famous smile painted on his face, the one that had made millions of women around the world wonder.

  «Can you hide them?», Alain snapped.

  «I don’t know! I don’t know! I can try!».

  I saw them for a moment, going away: the boy and his dog.

  He was a strange boy, as strange was the dog. He was all dressed in black and he was wearing a jacket with the hood raised, even though it was summer. He never turned back.

  The dog was half-breed, a mix of too many indefinable breeds, and it was huge next to the boy. He always turned around, and barked.

  Then they disappeared and it was over.

  «That’s it, a little lower. Move the hand slightly to the right. And raise that leg, damn it!».

  I felt the need to sniff some. A desperate need. That beach looked like heaven, but for me it was turning into hell.

  Egon was above me, our lips almost touching. His body touching mine, his skin was soft. It had a strange scent, but perhaps it was the make-up they used to hide the scratches. Our oiled bodies glitter in the sunlight.

  We looked like the night and the day, us two. I’m pale and translucent, with long blond hair, he was tall and muscular, with dark skin and curly hair. He was smiling at me.

  He had never spoken to me, had never spoken to any of us. He never did. Maybe he wasn’t able to do so. He only knew few words of French and Italian, there was no way to communicate. Perhaps he was just that, he couldn’t do anything else, just a beautiful body to show off.

  «Move! Slightly higher! Lower down now! Lower down a little bit more!».

  The rock was full of sharp edges, it was a torture to be leaning over there.

  «Hug her! With one arm only! Put a hand in her hair!».

  What did that guy think? What did he think of me? Did he consider me a doll also? Why couldn’t I read anything in his eyes?

  «Kiss her! Kiss her now!».

  They took off my costume and I was naked on the beach. I waited.

  Someone started to whistle and I felt vulgar appreciation behind me.

  «Send them away!», Alain cried. «What are they doing here? No public! I said no public!».

  And to me: «What are you doing standing there still, punk? Get dressed, we’re done!».

  Have we finished? I didn’t realize it. Then I noticed the clouds that were darkening the sun and realized that we couldn’t shoot anymore.

  «Is it over?», I asked the dresser.

  «For today», she said.

  No, it wasn’t over, not yet.

  The drug was getting in my body and a strange peaceful state was taking over. Yes, I could do it, I could still hold on.

  Another day, another session.

  In the hotel’s lounge there was only us, the crew. It was low season and we were probably the only customers. We were twenty, including models. The fact that for that session I had been chosen as Egon’s partner didn’t change anything, I remained nobody as all the others.

  There was Barry, our agent. I don’t know when he showed up. He was already drunk, lying on the couch and surrounded by Jacqueline and Rita. He had chosen the freshest meat, the most ambitious girls. It was really long now since last time he looked at me.

  «Miss… I wanted to tell you… you’re beautiful! How much I wish to be like you!».

  I didn’t even see her, that awkward waitress. It must have been hard to force herself to come forward, It
must have been really difficult in her unlucky body. I was just looking at the mirror behind her, the stranger I was staring at. That porcelain doll so fragile, so perfect.

  Barry pulled my arm as if it was a bell. «Wake up, fool! Bring me another drink, do you understand?».

  The waitress was shocked. To her it was a sacrilege that I was treated like that. She stepped forward. «What do you want, sir? Can I bring you anything?».

  Barry didn’t even noticed her and gave me a slap on my bottom. «Move, bitch!».

  Maybe I didn’t have enough of it, it wouldn’t have been enough. I didn’t have enough cocaine to hold another two days. I sniffed more and more of it. Where else could I get it? I didn’t know anyone there. Barry would have given to me if I had asked him, but the price to pay would be too high.

  Alain and Egon were seated at the bottom of the room, away from everybody else. Facing each other. Alain was old, to strangers they would look like father and son, but they weren’t. Alain was talking to him and in the meantime caressed his hand, Egon never answered.

  I’ve heard of it, it was almost a year everybody talked about it, but I had never met him until the morning before. Egon, the most famous model in the world. I was excited as a little girl when they told me I would have worked with him. It could be the right opportunity, the miracle I was waiting for.

  I was ready to sleep with him, to do anything. I wonder what I imagined, that he was the knight in shining armor, who came to take me away from all that squalor.

  But for him I didn’t exist. He had looked at me, yes, but he had not seen me. For him I was an ornament, a dress, a total nothing. There was something that separated him from the whole world, making him an unreachable idol, void of any humanity.

  A statue. Yes, that’s how I imagined him. A perfect, loved and venerated, but soulless statue. I had been in his arms, but it was not me that held him tight. Our lips had touched, but he was as dry and cold as the marble. Who was he, what did he do? Why would he let Alain use him that way?

  Yet he was alive, for one moment he has been alive. Not with us, but with that dog. For a moment it was different, wonderful. Just a moment.

  Barry had chosen. He would fuck Jacqueline. She followed him giggling, pretending to be excited, although we all knew that Barry’s love was just a curse and he was nothing but a vicious and flabby, perverted middle-aged man.

  I should have been sorry for her, but I was relieved. That night I wouldn’t have to fuck him.

  The boy and his dog were by the sea, right in front of the hotel. I saw them clearly, even though the night had fallen. The moon lit them. They were sitting a few feet from the water and the dog looked even bigger. They weren’t doing nothing.

  There was something I was attracted to, which pushed me out of the hotel to reach them.

  The beach was deserted, and I was high. At that moment my perceptions were distorted, but I didn’t feel pain. My blood pulsed at the rate of the tide.

  Everything seemed blue to me, the sand, the boy’s eyes, even the dog’s eyes. The sea wasn’t, it looked to me like a whole lot of blood.

  «It’s a private property», I said. «You shouldn’t stay here».

  And a moment later I was crawling next to them. The dog gave me just a glance. The boy was looking at the sea.

  I saw it clearly, because the air was blue and lighted him. Full lips and curly hair, hidden under the hood. It was bigger than I thought, at least thirteen or fourteen.

  «Who are you?», I asked.

  He ignored me. Him too like everyone else. Even the dog continued to look at the sea.

  I wondered if I really existed if I really walked amongst the men, if I had not completely turned into a show doll.

  «Kow! Kow! Kow!», I shouted at the dog, as if barking.

  He looked at me bored.

  I chuckled. «You really don’t want to tell me why you’re here?».

  The boy continued to look in front of him in silence.

  Alain was behind Egon and he was massaging his neck.

  I looked at Egon, his motionless, frozen look, and I would have wanted him to come back alive, to play with that dog again.

  Alain’s hands moved lower and lowered into Egon’s shirt.

  «Stop drinking! You’re drunk!».

  I didn’t listen to him. Marcel was just jealous. He was jealous of Ergon, who had taken Alain away. Poor idiot, he thought he wasn’t like us, he thought to be special. Instead it was just meat, cannon fodder.

  «Outside there’s a guy looking at the sea», I murmured. «With his blue-eyed dog».

  «You’re done! Finished!», he hissed. «Drug addict and alcoholic! We’re fucked up to here of you!».

  You’re nothing, Marcel, I wanted to say. You can pretend to be the master, but you’re only a slave. Instead I shut up and continued to drink.

  Jacqueline came in the hall, and it was almost midnight. She was crying, sobbing actually and she wasn’t acting. There were still Rita and Silvia in a corner, and she ran towards them. Barry followed her screaming. «Bitch! Useless whore! You don’t know how to do nothing!».

  They had drunk too much, Rita and Silvia, and they didn’t know what to do. They only hugged her, trying to calm her down. Rita even kissed her on her forehead. They didn’t realize that by doing so they were just getting that perverted old fart more excited.

  Barry looked around and his eyes pinned over me.

  It was at least three months that we didn’t have sex. He didn’t like me anymore, I knew it, especially when I was under the influence of the drug. Just like that moment.

  This time he didn’t care, he came to me and grabbed me abruptly. «Come with me!».

  I dropped my glass.

  He tied my hands and feet before he started, because he liked it that way. But then he slapped me, because he was angry and just wanted to make me scream. But the coca protected me, I didn’t feel any pain. Then he got angry even more.

  And it hurt.

  The sea was no longer red, but black. Everything was black.

  The doll broke, I could see it in the mirror. The doll was broken.

  There was silence because it was night.

  Barry had kicked me out, He could no longer tolerate my presence.

  The door in front of me was smooth, lacquered. Stroking it gave me the feeling of touching a snail. I myself felt like a snail. My fingers left a mark on that wood, a light trail. I knew Egon was there, beyond that door. I wanted to see him, I felt the absurd desire to look at him. Would it be closed?

  I lowered the handle and pushed it, just a few inches.

  It was a nice room, much more than mine. With a large double bed. And they were two on that bed. I knew it, I’m not a fool.

  That didn’t stop me. I pushed more, careful not to make any noise. Alain was the closest to me and was sleeping belly down. He snored, really drunk.

  Egon was lying on his side. Naked. A perfect body lit by the moon.

  I made another step forward because I felt the need to do so. That body glittered, palpitated, seemed to release a strange heat. It attracted me like a moth to the fire.

  He appeared from the nothingness, he emerged from the darkness that surrounded the windows, and immediately his silhouette stood against the moon. I recognized him instantly: he was the boy with his face hidden from the hood.

  I froze because he had not seen me.

  Everything was so strange, I wondered if it wasn’t just a drug-induced hallucination.

  The boy approached the bed and stood right next to Egon. He looked at him.

  Then he stretched out a hand, stroked his cheek, his neck, slid to his chest until he stopped on his heart.

  My heart was pounding. It was the caress that I wanted to give him, the one I came for. Egon was still sleeping and his face was quiet and relaxed. He seemed happy.

  Then the guy took something I couldn’t recognize and lifted it with both hands over his head. For a moment I saw the silhouette and I understood.
<
br />   I pushed myself forward before he planted that knife in Egon’s heart. «No!», I shouted.

  It all happened in an instant, the boy was already gone. The window was wide open. Egon was still sleeping and there was no trace of the boy anymore.

  Was it real? Had I dreamed of it?

  I turned around the bed, I stopped beside Egon, just where I saw the boy before. His glossy skin reflected the moon, he was drinking it’s rays. I couldn’t stop, I caressed that face, then lowered myself down and met his naked chest. I leaned over and joined my lips to his.

  He was sleeping and he was happy.

  They were in the water, the boy and his dog. Although it was night and the water would be cold. The boy was dressed, his hood raised.

  It was a strange game I couldn’t understand. The dog seemed to want to escape him and the boy pursued him.

  Then I saw that shimmer again and realized that the boy was still holding the knife. I understood it wasn’t a game but a death dance.

  I knelt on the beach, few meters away from them.

  I said: «If you have to kill someone, here I am. It doesn’t matter to me».

  He turned to look at me.

  The dog came to me, and I called him: «Kow! Kow! Kow».

  Again I crawled to look like a dog that barked. He stopped almost in front of me and answered me. He wagged his tail.

  I rolled to the ground, then I stood motionless to watch the moon while I waited for the boy to come. The sand seemed to disappear and there was a green meadow beneath me, a soft and fluffy meadow.

  It was great to be there, everything was beautiful. I found that to be a perfect moment, I wanted it to last forever.

  His shadow was on me now.

  «I have to kill her», he told me. «I can’t take her with me. Now she is no longer necessary».

  He was holding the knife, but his arm was lying, kneeling beside me.

  I raised my arm and took off his cap.

  His skin was shining in the moonlight, and it seemed blue. I caressed a cheek, and it was as soft as Egon’s.

  The dog kept prudently the distance from us.

  He had a strange accent, the boy, and realized he was coming from far away. Yet I could understand him the same.