Lizzi Bizzi and the Red Witch

by Stefano Pastor

  Too little, it was already over. Before Indira reached me I had already retract my tongue. Enrico began to fall, still in slow motion. Dried, drained almost like old man.

  Then Indira managed to grab me and I was overwhelmed by her hellish stink. I wanted to step back but she didn’t allow me to do so.

  «No, no! What have you done! What have you done!».

  The magnitude of what I had done overwhelmed me. I killed a child. That child.

  Indira didn’t even try to touch him, he was obviously dead, completely emptied.

  For me it was a cold shower, the hunger was gone, I could think again. «I didn’t want to do it!».

  Indira seemed to age in a single instant. «It didn’t have to go this way! It didn’t have to happen again!». Then he attacked me. «You had to stop when I told you! You don’t have to give her all this power!».

  I looked at Enrico and looked at Franco. He was still lying down, perhaps he had not even noticed. «Wh-at… wh-at sh-ou-ld I do?».

  «I’ve told you this too, only love can control it. Only Shiva has succeeded».

  I didn’t have any Shiva, my husband had already died long time before.

  Indira still had the solution. «Diego, your mother needs you. Come here».

  It was me to step back now. «No, no!».

  I didn’t want to hurt him. Not to him.

  Indira showed a smile, a forced smile. «You will never do it, you really love him. He can be your only salvation».

  Because he didn’t come yet, Indira urged him. «Diego, help me!».

  We had forgotten him, only then we looked at him. He was still sitting on the bed, his eyes set on us. Eyes wide open, huge.

  He condemned me. «You’re a monster! A monster!».

  The blade sank, I couldn’t do anything to prevent it. Indira tried it. «Diego, don’t say that. Your mother only did it for you».

  His eyes were full of tears. «You killed Enrico! You killed him! You’re a monster!».

  When Indira tried to get closer, he stretched out his hand to stop her. «Stay away! You both stay away from me!».

  Indira looked at me. In her eyes I read the defeat. «Yes, go away, it’s better. It’s pointless to have this conversation now. I’ll talk to him when he calms down. I’ll manage to change his mind».

  I was blind with rage now. Real rage. Not against Diego, he had no fault of his own, what he had seen had upset him, his rejection was understandable. Anger against Indira.

  «You want him! You’re ta-ki-ng him a-wa-y!».

  I was sure that she had done it on purpose. She wanted my son and now she had him. She would have taken my place.

  «You don’t know what you’re saying, you don’t think straight».

  For once she was faster than me. She spread her arms, like a wall.

  The stench surrounded me, took my breath away. The tongue snapped, went on, and then back in my mouth. I couldn’t nourish me with her. Immerse her in that poisoned blood. I was disgusted, it was repellent.

  «I warned you», Indira continued. «You knew the risk you were running. A sacrifice was needed and you were willing to take that risk».

  All right, but she was lying anyway.

  «It could work, you could do it. You could control it, if you had been strong enough, Diego would have helped you. But you’re gone too far now, you have been dominated. Now there is nothing I can do».

  She also pronounced her condemnation. «Leave now, please. Go away before someone arrives and sees what you did».

  Where should I go, where?

  Indira was struggling to say those words. «You’ve done enough bad, go now! I can’t help you, no one can help you anymore».

  I couldn’t even see Diego anymore. She covered it with her body, or maybe he was hiding. «Whe-re?».

  Indira shook her head. «Go away. Just leave».

  I did it.

  Many years have gone since then. I traveled the world, leaving behind me a trail of blood. There’s nothing I can do against the goddess, I’m not strong enough. Maybe I don’t want to fight anymore. When she manifests, I disappear, and then the orgy of blood begins. It strikes everyone, indiscriminately, because her anger is endless.

  Only when she’s happy she falls asleep, and I can come back. They are short periods, very short, before blood returns to claim her. We don’t live together, there’s no way to dominate control her.

  When I can I write. I’m writing to Diego, even though he will never read it. For myself, not to forget. I write about what I’ve become. A nocturnal creature, a filthy bloodsucker with many arms. A leech from the hungry tongue. I write about the blood, how inebriating it is, the terror that excites me.

  I write about a time when I still had a family.

  Diego grew up, now, probably, he’s already married. Maybe he would have made me a grandmother. I know he’s alive, that nothing happened to him. No one can ever hurt him. Because Indira is there to protect him.

  I wonder if he managed to forgive me.

  I’ll never find out, because I’ll never go back to Genova. It’s unacceptable the thought of hurting him, I will do everything possible to keep myself as far away from him as possible.

  It might save me, maybe, but in any case I would annihilate him. To be a guardian of a monster forever. Maybe Shiva made it, but he was a God.

  No, that’s the right thing to do. Indira was right, I blamed her unfairly. I was aware of the risks I was running. If I wasn’t, if I was skeptical, these are my problems. She warned me.

  For a great miracle, a great sacrifice is needed. Huge, sometimes. Sacrifice a thousand lives to save one. This I never regretted.

  Over time I realized, but only after a lot of time. That sacrifice was not mine. For her husband she couldn’t do it, but for my son she could. It must not have been an easy choice for her.

  Mine was recklessness, but Indira was aware of the danger. She knew that this would bring a demon in the world that would only lead to destruction and deaths. But never less she did it anyway. No, she didn’t fool herself with the idea of controlling her. She knew what was going to happen very well.

  It’s easy for me to live with what happened. When the pain is too much, I let her sweep everything away. I give her control over my existence.

  I wonder how Indira does, instead. To live with the horror she created. How can the night still fall asleep? How can she look into my son’s face?

  But perhaps she was right about this as well: love can everything. And I’m sure she was able to conquer him now that I left.

  I wouldn’t switch it, anyway. I wouldn’t walk in her shoes. The burden I bear is already big enough. I wonder if there will ever be an end to it, if gods can eventually die.

  Maybe one day I’ll find out.

  July 2016

  MIRROR

  Translation by Cinzia Albanese

  She caressed her cheek, then the hand went down her neck. Her eyes were blue, so clear that seemed to illuminate. Her blonde hair fell softly to the shoulders. She was still so beautiful.

  «How many years, Jessica?».

  Her dress green, bright, high wasted, showing off her bosom. She wore a couple of earrings, with upside down silver pyramids.

  «Five years, Eva. Why did you call me?».

  It was incredible, it was five years since they last saw each other, and they were still identical. The same features, the same dress even the same earrings. Nothing was arranged, it was spontaneous from both of them, without even thinking it.

  They were always like that, it was more than twins, their minds were the same, connected in every instant of life, even if years passed by without seeing each other.

  «You were ill in December».

  «A stupidity, you too?».

  «I heard you left each other».

  She shrugged her shoulders. «I’m also divorced like you».

  Essential pleasantries between sisters that haven’t seen each other in some time.

  «Why did y
ou call me?», Jessica asked again. «We didn’t leave in good terms, the last time».

  «We are too similar to what we want».

  «You’re not ok, are you? You’ve got an illness. It’s something serious, I’m sure of it».

  «You felt it?».

  «Of course, I’ve felt it! It’s always happened, and this time even more. It’s something grave, I’m sure».

  Eva considered the greetings finished and pointed to the table. «Sit down, let’s eat, let’s talk more calmly».

  One in front of the other, it looked as if it was the reflexion of a mirror.

  Eva poured some drink for both of them, then she said it. «I’ve got cancer, Jessica. The last stage of cancer. There’s nothing more that can be done».

  «Oh, my god!».

  «Don’t be hypocrite, please. We don’t love each other, we are not even friends, we are too similar to fake».

  «This doesn’t matter. I’m still sorry».

  Eva emptied the glass and filled it again. She also poured it for Jessica.

  «Are you scared?».

  «For you? Of course,».

  «No, not for me. Are you scared of what you will feel when I die?».

  Jessica was gobsmacked

  «When you broke a leg, when we were kids, I was really bad, I couldn’t move. And when you had the appendix removed it was horrible, I screamed all night».

  «It’s different», Jessica whispered, but she was scared.

  «Have you ever asked yourself what awaits after? If there is anything there? Isn’t it horrible not knowing?».

  Jessica started to feel more uneasy. «I don’t think about it».

  «Until now nobody has been able to come back to tell the story. This could be the first time».

  «What are you saying?», shouted.

  «When I die, you will see it. You will see what’s in the other side. You will know what I’m going through».

  «It’s absurd!».

  «I’ve been thinking it for a while you know? to know what’s on the other side, what awaits me. I’m not afraid. It’s terrible not to know. To die and not to know».

  «Maybe it’s better, don’t you think?».

  «Well I’m not made like that, I don’t like surprises. I hate going in this way».

  Jessica sighed. «What do you want me to do? Because I know you, you always want something. And stop about these stupid things of the beyond, tell me what you need».

  «Oh, what I need you to do, you are already doing».

  «What do you mean?».

  «I think it’s the only solution. The only way to know. You must tell me. You have to go before me».

  Jessica was horrified. She tried to get up but her head started to spin. She tried to sit down, dazed. «What did you give to me?».

  «I have killed you, I’m afraid, I had no other choice».

  «You are crazy!».

  «When you are over there, I will know. I will know what awaits me».

  «You can’t! You can’t!».

  «Don’t worry, it won’t be painful. In a few minutes, it will all be over».

  «Why?».

  Eva stretched her arm and caressed her hand.

  «Don’t be afraid, I won’t leave you alone».

  Only three minutes was needed to reach death. Three minutes without being able to move or talk because the poison paralyzed her. Only her eyes where alive filled with terror. Then they were not.

  Eva’s eyes also stopped working for a long never-ending minute.

  Then they came back to live, and they were shining more than ever.

  A smile appeared on her face. A triumph smile. She started laughing, while getting the revolver from the bag.

  «I’m coming Jessica, don’t worry. I’m coming».

  Then she pointed to her head and shot.

  January 2011

  LITTLE

  Translation by Chiara Perfetti

  Damn, was he little!

  I was the first one to speak of it. I poked Silvia and whispered not too low: «What do you say, is he a kid?».

  Giulia answered in her place: «Oh come on, can’t you see? He’s a dwarf».

  He might have been, yes, and the one standing beside him surely was, but he still looked like a kid to me.

  That night we all were at least tipsy, not to say utterly drunk. It was our usual Friday night out, no restraints, no rules. I was able to pass them up for a while, but now that I didn’t have a boyfriend anymore I relapsed in that sad habit.

  We went on the hunt, that’s how they used to say, though we rarely caught prey. At most, I was the only one to succeed, for I’m not bad at all. The others, poor souls, had to make do with sighing.

  Not that Silvia and Giulia were horribly ugly girls, but they simply didn’t know how to dress up to show what mother nature gifted them with. Silvia wore those hideous Coke-bottles looking glasses, and Giulia with her sad stringy hair split up in two small braids like a little girl. So pathetic!

  But then why did I hang out with them? Well, because we were friends since forever and because… ok, I’ll admit it, among them I stood out. Damn it, I was a looker! Screw modesty.

  I couldn’t even recall how we ended up in that amusement park. Perhaps we were curious of the novelty, or maybe because it could have been a nice boy-hunting territory. Then Silvia wanted to buy an envelope and we got there.

  It was and old game but it still held its charm. They sold envelopes to the crowd, sealed envelopes. Then some were drawn and the negotiations began. The barker made them offers to buy the envelopes. You could never know what prize was inside them, so it was all a gamble.

  Silvia’s was yet to be drew so our attention to the game dwindled. We stood watching the others negotiate and we grew increasingly bored. What was before us was a simple bandwagon, packed with all sorts of prizes, and in front of its opened backdoor was a little stage. The barker was a dwarf and his voice was so incredibly stentorian that he had no need for a microphone.

  Except he wasn’t the one we were interested in. That would be his assistant.

  Clearly, he was the barker’s son, but was he a kid or a dwarf like him?

  «Let’s ask him», I proposed.

  The chicks started giggling, which only strengthened my curiosity.

  «I’ll do it», I said, and waited not for an answer. I pushed through the crowd and shoved my way to the makeshift stage.

  «Hey you, little man!», I shouted.

  The little man knew right away that I was talking to him and gave me a rather uninviting look.

  I kept going, unwavering: «Are you a kid or what?».

  He pretended to ignore me.

  By now I was on a roll, blame the alcohol for that. I chugged three beers in a row and my alcohol tolerance was also low. «Oh, come on, don’t make me beg. How old are you?».

  He probably only answered to avoid trouble. A squawking drunk like me could compromise the whole game. So, he left his father and walked up to me. «Nineteen», he answered.

  I was flabbergasted: that little fellow was my same age. Yet he looked like a child, just a child. His body did not appear to be affected by any kind of deformity, only its proportions where reduced.

  Since I kept silent, he ignored me and went back to his father. I let myself get lost in the crowd once again and I was back with my friends, who had been following that quick exchange.

  «You believe him?», Silvia asked.

  «Why shouldn’t it be true?», Giulia argued. «That’s how they are».

  «Do you think that… will it work? Can he do it like everybody else?».

  The two burst out laughing.

  «My gosh, that should also be to scale!», Giulia added. «It’s nasty to even just think about it. I would feel like I were doing it with a kid!».

  «I would like to see him naked», continued Silvia, undeterred. «To see what he’s like».

  «Such a perv! How can you even think something like that?».

  �
�He’s cute».

  The chicks squawked and I couldn’t take my eyes off the small man. He looked efficient, almost like he could anticipate his father’s commands. Perhaps he had been doing that job for so long that he always knew what to expect.

  I don’t know why I said what I said. At that time, I blamed it on the alcohol. «I’ll do it».

  «You’ll do what?», Silvia asked me.

  «I’ll fuck him. Then I’ll have your answers».

  Once more, they burst out laughing. «Are you crazy?».

  I shrugged. «What does it matter? If he can’t get hard then I’ll get nothing. If, on the other hand, he gets hard… then it can’t be that bad!».

  «But he’s like a child!».

  «He is our age, haven’t you heard him?».

  «Yes but…».

  «I wonder if he has ever done it».

  «Wait, are you serious? Do you realize what you want to do?».

  Truth be told, the little man didn’t turn me on at all, I was simply curious. It was the appeal of the forbidden, of the impossible, that turned me on.

  «You think I can’t do that? That he would reject me?».

  «You are nuts!», Giulia rebated in a tone that implied she had more than enough with this matter.

  It ended there. We talked about other topics, all of them more or less petty, and kept on exploring what was left of the amusement park.

  Still, the idea lingered. We hung out for another hour or so amidst the different attractions, then the clock struck midnight and we had to start heading home.

  «You go first», I said. «I’m staying a little bit more».

  Giulia figured it out right away. «You really want to do that!».

  «Just go!», I snapped. «If something happens, you’ll be the first to know tomorrow morning».

  At first it wasn’t easy to persuade them, but after a few minutes they left me. They were still giggling.

  I went back to the dwarfs’ bandwagon.

  The show was over and the little man was dismantling the stage. His father was nowhere to be seen. «You got it?», I asked. «Do you need some help?».

  He shot me an enraged look, but still he answered politely. «No thank you».

  «My name is Chiara», I introduced myself.