Be My Baby

by ANDREA SMITH

  "My sweet baby," I breathed cuddling her to me.

  She immediately wanted to nurse, tugging at my sweater with her hands. She had not nursed in months. How strange was that that she would still remember?

  "No honey," I said. "You're a big girl now. You drink from a cup."

  "Num-num," she whined squirming unhappily in my arms.

  I looked at Trey and caught his look of disapproval. Oh I guess now I was a piece of shit mom because I couldn't breastfeed on a whim. He was the one that had wanted her weaned as I recalled.

  "Let's go get a cracker and some juice," I offered to appease her.

  "Cacker," she repeated happily.

  I took her off to the kitchen while my father came out to greet Trey. Once there I got her coat, mittens and hat off and sat her in the high chair. I got a graham cracker out and a juice box from the fridge.

  "Have you been a good girl for Aunt Gina?" I asked.

  She smiled up at me showing her dimple.

  "Uh huh," she said, nodding her head up and down chewing on her cracker.

  I could tell that Preston was deep in thought about something. She looked so adorable. Gina had pulled her silky dark hair up into a high ponytail and then braided it. It was getting so long. She had a ribbon intertwined with the braid. I appreciated how well she had cared for my baby girl.

  "Baabby," she babbled.

  I wasn't sure if she was referring to Reese or the one that used to be in my tummy. I presumed it was Reese.

  "Baby Reese is your cousin," I said.

  She was watching me now not really understanding my comment. She finally smiled at me as she drooled cracker crumbs from her mouth.

  "Uh huh," she answered nodding her head once again.

  Her vocabulary was rather limited but I enjoyed our conversation nonetheless.

  Our little mother-daughter chat was interrupted when my father came into the kitchen totally delighted to see his grand-daughter.

  He lifted her from her high chair commenting on how big she had gotten. She put her chubby little arms around his broad shoulders as he carried out to the living room where her huge crate of toys resided.

  “Tylar,” he said quietly to me, “I had Margo prepare the guest suite for Trey. It makes no sense to banish him to a hotel.”

  “Dad, that is fine,” I answered, “I suggested the same thing to Trey myself.”

  “Good,” he replied, “I’m glad that we are on the same page.”

  He went off to play with Preston while I went upstairs to see about Trey. It would be totally strange to have him here in a separate room. I passed Margo in the hallway and she pointed out which room was his.

  I knocked softly on his door.

  “Come in.”

  Trey was sitting on the bed with his I-Pad. He was probably checking his emails. He looked over at me expectantly.

  “Trey I just wanted to thank you for bringing Preston to me.”

  “I believe a child of her age needs more time with her mother. I know that she has missed you. Gina said that she was incredibly fussy while she had her.”

  “I need to call Gina. It seems I’ve been remiss in keeping in touch with her as well. How is Reese?”

  “He is fine. Mom called earlier today. She is going to come down to visit her grandson next week. I guess that Nigel and Tess's baby is due in a few weeks."

  “I bet she is excited to have all of these grandchildren to fuss over now,” I commented smiling at him. "So what did you tell her about our situation?"

  Trey pulled me over to where he sat on the bed so that I was next to him. I felt my heart flutter with his nearness. I knew that I still loved Trey with all my heart. I just didn’t like him at the moment.

  "I told her the truth," he said. "She is understandably furious with me. It doesn't have to mar the relationship that you two have. I hope that it won't."

  He had his arm around me pulling me closer to him. I didn’t turn my head to face him. I was afraid to be that close to him.

  He ran his fingers through my dark shiny locks. He lifted my hair away from my neck. I felt his warm breath on my skin sending shivers up through me.

  “Why did you change your hair to look like Amber’s?” he whispered against my neck softly.

  “Don’t you like the look?” I asked.

  “You are much more beautiful than she could ever be. Don’t you know that?”

  His lips brushed the back of my neck; he started planting soft kisses on my skin. His lips were warm and soft; all I could think about was the memory of watching Trey’s lips and mouth thoroughly kissing Amber’s that day. The memory caused a wave of nausea to run through me.

  I jumped up from him quickly.

  Trey reached for me to pull me back to him.

  "Tylar for Chrissake, I'm your-"

  Just then Trey's cell phone rang with a pre-set tune. It was Carrie Underwood blaring out the song, "Before He Cheats."

  "What the hell?" he asked looking down at his Blackberry genuinely puzzled.

  "Hello?" he answered frowning.

  "Why are you calling me about that?"

  There was a short pause while whoever was on the other end of the phone apparently explained why the call was made. "No - the Motion in Limine was filed the day before yesterday. If you can't locate the file-stamped copies they are on Pacer by now to access. Tonya can get e-copies for you."

  Another pause. I was freaking curious by this time.

  "I can't really talk now. This can all wait until I am back on Monday."

  Trey ended the phone call. I had to know who it was though I suspected that I already knew.

  "Your girlfriend, Amber?"

  "My colleague, Amber," he retorted obviously annoyed.

  "By the way - I really like the personal ring tone you set up for her. 'Before he cheats'? Really Trey?"

  "Hey," he snapped grabbing me once again.

  "I don't even know that fucking song. She must have programmed it to my phone."

  "Really? And when would she have had the opportunity to do that?"

  "Tylar for the love of Jesus, I don't know!"

  He was exasperated by the line of questioning. So what? I would damn well like to know when she would have had access to his Blackberry.

  As if reading my mind he had given it some thought.

  "Hell - I lose that damn phone on a daily basis. It was likely just a prank."

  "If that is true," I countered, "How would she have known your password in order to download the tune?"

  "Everyone knows my password - including you Tylar!"

  "Do you mean to tell me that you have NEVER changed it from 1-2-3-4?"

  "I have too much to remember already. I use that same password for everything provided it doesn't require an alpha-numeric combination. Then I use A-B-1-2-3-4. Everyone in the office is aware of it. I guess I'm the joke of the firm with passwords but I don’t have time for that shit."

  It almost amused me that as intelligent and orderly as Trey was he couldn't manage multiple passwords. That was neither here nor there. The bitch had intentionally downloaded that ring tone for his phone. She knew he was here with me. How? Were they still sharing personal info with each other?

  “I just wanted to make sure that you were comfortable Trey. I have to get down to the stables to help Danny with the thoroughbreds.”

  I made a hasty retreat from his room

  Once I got out to the stables I busied myself with the normal daily chores of caring for the horses to wear myself out. It was how I coped these days. It was how I was able to fall into my bed exhausted every night so that I could sleep.

  Danny came out of the tack room as I was brushing Saratoga Sam. We had gotten to be pretty good friends the past week or so. I had shared with him some of the details relative to my situation with Trey.

  "Hey didn't hear you come in," he remarked. "How are things going with your hubby being here?"

  I shrugged and continued brushing.

  "It's no b
ig deal," I answered. "I'm thrilled that Preston is here now. It's not like anything has changed between Trey and me. He is sleeping in the guest quarters."

  "Wanna bet he tries to sneak into your quarters tonight?" he teased.

  I looked up at him. He was thoroughly enjoying my discomfort at the thought. I wondered if Trey had planned on something like that. Perhaps I would simply lock my door.

  "You're going to lock your bedroom door aren't you?" he asked getting his shit-eating grin on.

  "Maybe," I said smiling. "Hey guess what? I was talking to Trey earlier and his Blackberry goes off with one of those musical downloads. It was Carrie Underwood's song 'Before he Cheats' of all things."

  "No shit?"

  "Guess who the call was from?"

  "Amber of course, right? How the hell did he explain that?"

  "Said he didn't have a clue how it was downloaded. He does misplace his phone a lot," I remarked now brushing the underbelly of the horse.

  "Yeah right," Danny snorted, "You know he's doing her don't you?"

  "He says that he isn't but he doesn't need my permission if he wants to," I shrugged. I was bored with the direction the conversation was taking.

  "Can we talk about something else Danny?"

  "Sure. Want to go dancing tonight?"

  I removed the bridle from the horse and lightly slapped his bottom to get him to go into his stall. I hung his bridle on the hook outside the stall as I closed the gate. I turned to face Danny.

  He was watching me and waiting for an answer. He was handsome in a different way than Trey. He had a rakish charm and magnetism. Trey was more refined and charismatic.

  "Danny," I said as if I was about to scold him. "I told you I am not dating. Period."

  "Hey," he grinned, playfully grabbing me from behind and lifting me up in the air as if I was a sack of potatoes. "Who said anything about a date? I like my women with more meat on them anyway. I just thought you might like to get out once in awhile."

  "Put me down," I laughed squirming around in his arms. "Put me down and I may consider it."

  He gently set me down so that I was facing him. We were standing close - too close. I backed up a bit turning to open the gate on the next stall. I had to groom 'Runaround Sue.'

  "So where is this place where they have music and dancing?"

  "Not too far from here. It's a place called 'Jackass Flats'. It's a converted barn that has music on the weekends. They book some decent bands. They serve drinks and food. Hey - ask Trey to come with us if you want. I promise I have no ulterior motives Tylar."

  I looked at his face and it was brimming with sincerity. Yeah, he could pull sincerity off pretty well. He reminded me of that character on the old 'Leave it to Beaver' shows I had watched as a kid on TV Land channel. Eddie Haskell - that was the guy. I smirked out loud.

  "What?" he asked innocently.

  "Nothing, Eddie," I smirked.

  He looked puzzled.

  "What time are we leaving?" I asked.

  He immediately grinned taking my question as confirmation that I was going. Hell, I had already decided to go when he had first asked me. He was right. I needed to get out every now and then and enjoy myself.

  "How about I swing by the big house about 8:30 to pick you and hubby up? It's casual dress."

  "The time works fine but I'll meet you out here. I'm not inviting Trey. Trust me Danny that would not be a good move on my part."

  He nodded then took off down the gangway toward the door to the arena.

  "See you then 'Little Bit," he called out. That was quickly becoming his pet name for me.

  "Don't call me that!" I hollered after him. I heard his chuckle just before the door closed behind him.

  I took a leisurely bubble bath when I got back to the house a little after five. Dinner was at 7:00. Edie had put Preston down for a nap. I heard her babbling in her crib as I was dressing after my bath.

  I went into the adjoining nursery and watched as she was sitting up in her crib babbling to her stuffed animals in a language only she understood. Her voice was soft and melodic like Trey's I thought to myself. She spotted me as I got close to the crib.

  She scrambled up to stand at the rail. She was wearing just a diaper and tee shirt. Her chubby little legs were so cute as she bounced up and down holding her arms up for me to lift her.

  "Hey baby girl," I cooed to her, lifting her out of her crib.

  She gurgled and smiled at me, her thumb finding her mouth as she sucked on it.

  I got a clean diaper and the baby wipe dispenser taking her into my room to change her. Once she had her clean diaper on she rolled onto her stomach and crawled to the edge of the bed. She wanted down. I lifted her off the bed and she went scurrying back to the nursery to get some of her toys.

  I went back to the bathroom and blew my hair dry. I applied some eye make-up. I was wearing a new pair of skinny jeans with a new pair of boots I had bought last week. I wore a black v-neck sweater. I looked at my reflection. The dark brown hair had to go. I was going to have it re-colored I decided. I certainly didn't want to pay tribute to that conniving bitch. What had I been thinking?

  I dressed Preston in corduroy bibs and a long sleeved cotton tee shirt. Purple was definitely my girl's color. I brushed her baby hair out of the braid and it fell into soft waves. I put a couple of little baby barrettes in her hair.

  "There sweetie. You look so pretty today."

  Dinner was cordial. Most everyone's attention was focused on the baby. I felt grateful for that. I had a feeling of guilt about going out this evening to have some fun. I had to remind myself that Trey was here to spend time with Preston and not with me. We were separated for right now. My change in appearance from earlier had not gone unnoticed by Trey. I saw him studying me over the rim of his wine glass.

  "Do you have plans this evening Tylar?" he asked point blank, cocking an eyebrow.

  My father looked over at me from where he had been cutting up some cooked carrots for Preston.

  "Nothing major planned," I replied, "Just going out for a bit with a friend."

  (That was not a lie!)

  Trey continued to gaze at me at me quizzically. I so knew that he wanted to know more. He had too much pride to dig any deeper. My father apparently did not.

  "What friend?" Dad asked not taking his eyes off of Preston.

  She was smashing the soft cooked carrots into her mouth faster than my father could continue slicing them.

  "Dad," I moaned giving him the evil eye, "It's a friend okay?"

  Now they were both watching me making me totally uncomfortable. It was if I was a teenager being grilled by both of them - one silently; the other one not so much.

  "I certainly didn't mean to pry Tylar, though your behavior is rather surreptitious this evening." my father said. "It is Preston's first day here. I thought you would want to spend it with her."

  I saw Trey give a silent smirk as he waited for me to reply.

  "Dad I fully intend to bathe her and get her ready for bed. She'll be asleep when I leave. Besides that, this is really Trey's weekend with her. I will be with her all week long now, caring for her as a good and fit mother should."

  "I didn't mean to imply that you weren't a good or fit mother Tylar," he responded with an edge of sternness creeping into his voice. "I was merely expressing my opinion I suppose."

  "Your opinion is always welcome Dad. I will ensure that Preston is tucked in before I leave. Perhaps you and Trey can watch Sport Center or something since you both seem to be fans of the same channel."

  I got up from the table, tossing my cloth napkin onto my half full plate. I was a bit ticked off that my father had taken me to task in his own subtle way about my going out for the evening. He had practically accused me of acting sneaky. The fact that he had done it in front of Trey had plainly pissed me off. I went over and lifted Preston from the high chair to take her up for her bath.

  I turned with her in my arms as I was departing the dining roo
m. They were both watching me as I knew they would be.

  "By the way Dad, do I have a curfew?"

  I left the room hearing my father mumble something inaudibly followed by Trey's chuckle.

  Preston enjoyed her bath with the bath toys I kept in a basket in my bathroom for her. She played while I brushed my teeth and touched up my hair and make-up.

  I proceeded to bathe her and wash her hair - something that she was not particularly fond of. I toweled her dry and put baby lotion on her skin. She loved that part of her daily ritual. I got her diapered and in her pajamas.

  We sat in the rocker in her room and I read her three storybooks. She seemed to enjoy being read to immensely. I would point out the pictures to her and identify them: doggie, kitty cat, and monkey. I was trying to get her to say the words. I guess it was all about repetition. I decided I would continue to re-read these same three books to her and see if she would start trying to mimic the words.

  I was rocking her now. I looked over at the clock. It was 8:30. She was dozing off. I placed her in her crib and placed her blanket on her. She rolled to her side and put her thumb in her mouth and drifted to sleep.

  I turned her baby monitor on which had listening units in the family room, my dad's room, and Edie's room. I went and put the mobile one we had into Trey's room.

  I threw my jacket on and went out the back door of the mansion towards the stables. Danny was waiting for me when I got there.

  "You're late," he commented opening the door of his truck for me to climb in.

  "Geez, sorry. I had to get my baby tucked in for the night."

  Just as promised, Jackass Flats was just a couple of miles from my dad's estate. The parking lot was pretty much full when we got there. We could hear the band playing from the parking lot.

  Danny and I sat at one of the two long bars inside.

  "What'll you have Tylar?" he asked me.

  "Hmm - I want a 'Grateful Dead," I replied wondering if the bartenders here were as astute as making them as the ones employed at Tristan's and Gina's club.

  The bartender didn't bat an eye when Danny ordered my drink. Danny ordered a bourbon and water for himself. I looked around. The place had appeal. I liked the old barn siding that the owners had left in place. It gave it a rustic look. The dance floor was huge and the acoustics were pretty good.