Bittersweet Love

by Cathy Williams

  Natalie laughed slightly. ‘Fate?’ she said drily. ‘My experiences with fate don’t have much of a track record, but who knows? Maybe the tide is turning.’

  Remember, she told herself, give yourself a chance. It’ s the only way to purge Kane Marshall from your system.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  WASN’T it funny the way everyone had their own story to tell?

  From the outside, Eric was the height of staidness. He gave the impression of a man who always thought before he acted, who never did anything rashly or in the heat of the moment. Even his choice of play had been slightly unadventurous. A popular West End musical rather than a lesser known production being staged at one of the fringe theatres.

  But over the meal, a pleasant Italian restaurant which obviously catered for theatre-goers and adjusted their prices accordingly, Eric had confided in her, a little at first, then much more as the bottle of wine lowered both their inhibitions and made them more comfortable with each other.

  Natalie had listened with interest. She had no desire to pry into his personal life, but he had clearly wanted to talk to her about it, and she was adept at being a sympathetic ear. She listened while he told her about his two-year infatuation with a model. He had only just begun his accountancy training course and his parents had been appalled by his choice of girlfriend, but he had adored her. There had been something larger than life about her, maybe because she was so physically exquisite.

  ‘Isn’t it weird,’ he had told her over dinner, ‘how easy it is to lose your heart to someone totally unsuitable?’ and Natalie had nodded with heartfelt agreement. Wasn’t she a victim of the same mistake? At least Eric had emerged from his.

  It transpired, over coffee, that his dream woman had walked out on him without so much as a note after their two-year affair. His disillusionment somehow made Natalie warm towards him, maybe because it created an intangible bond between them, even though she told him nothing about her own foolish love for Kane.

  At any rate, they had parted company shortly after midnight having arranged to see each other again the following weekend.

  ‘Just friends,’ Natalie had reminded him at her front door.

  ‘Just friends,’ he had agreed, and they had looked at each other with mutual, unspoken understanding. He had no love to give her, and that suited her just fine because she had none to give him. But on a platonic level they had ignited from the word go, and she had no misgivings about seeing him again.

  She was still feeling pleasantly content as she let herself into her office the following Monday morning. Kane was already in, and rummaging around her desk. He looked up as she entered.

  ‘Had a good weekend, I take it?’ he drawled. ‘You look as though you’re about to burst forth into song any minute now.’

  ‘Good morning,’ Natalie replied. She approached her desk, doing her best not to be overawed by his presence there. ‘What are you looking for? Perhaps I can help you?’

  ‘The Mallory account.’

  Natalie turned away and fished it expertly out of the filing cabinet and handed it to him with a wry expression on her face.

  ‘I thought I left it on your desk on Friday evening.’

  ‘You did. I cleared it away.’

  ‘Very efficient. Now I know why I pay you as much as I do.’ He remained standing by her desk, the file in one hand, his other hand stuck into his trouser pocket, until Natalie asked hesitantly,

  ‘Is there something else?’

  ‘All ready to start working on those accounts today?’ She nodded, wondering how she could manoeuvre herself to her desk without bumping into him. ‘Good,’ he said, not budging, ‘good.’

  Natalie finally raised one eyebrow questioningly. ‘Do I get the feeling that there’s something else on your mind?’

  ‘What gives you that idea?’

  ‘Normally you barely have time to stand still for longer than five minutes during the day. You must want to tell me something, or else you wouldn’t be by my desk. You’d probably be in your office, shouting orders.’

  ‘Well,’ he smiled drily, ‘there is something I’d like to mention to you. Nothing very important. Could you come into my office?’ He spun round and Natalie followed in his wake, closing the office door behind her.

  ‘Sit down,’ he said, adding, ‘please,’ after a few moments. When she had first gone to work for him, he had been quite accustomed to issuing commands without even the slightest regard for courtesy. Natalie had informed him in no uncertain terms that she had no intention of being treated like a skivvy, and he had wryly acceded to her request for politeness.

  That was five years ago. What, she wondered, must he have thought of that plump, plain girl telling him off in the confines of his own office?

  He began fiddling with his fountain pen and chatting to her about details of some of the workload she was about to inherit, but Natalie had the oddest feeling that he was merely skirting around what he really wanted to say.

  She couldn’t imagine why but she was suspicious enough to think that if he couldn’t get to the point without a ten-minute preamble, then whatever he wanted to tell her wasn’t about to fill her with glee. It was unlike him to tread carefully. So why, she thought nervously, the sudden attack of sensitivity? Was she about to get the sack? She searched her brain for what she might have done but came up with a blank.

  Finally, when there was a lull in the one-way conversation, she looked at him squarely in the face and said, ‘You mentioned quite a bit of this when I saw you the other evening. Is there something else you want to say?’

  ‘Do I conclude from that that I’m being repetitive?’ He grinned at her and she reluctantly smiled back, relaxing.

  ‘It’s been known to affect people as they grow older,’ she suggested seriously, and he burst out laughing.

  ‘Thank you very much,’ he said. ‘I’m a way off collecting my pension yet, though.’ His eyes gleamed. ‘In fact, some would say that I’m in the prime of my life.’

  ‘Would they?’ It was an effort to meet his stare without blushing, but Natalie managed it, knowing that he would find any embarrassment on her part highly entertaining.

  ‘Wouldn’t you?’ he asked curiously, and Natalie ignored the question. Responding to that one definitely was over and beyond the call of duty.

  ‘Is there anything else?’ she asked pointedly and he sat back in the swivel chair, surveying her from under long, dark lashes.

  ‘Just one thing,’ he murmured, and Natalie thought, At last, the reason why I was asked in here in the first place. ‘It’ s of a personal nature,’ he continued, his eyes not leaving her face, and she felt a wary tingle race down her spine.

  ‘Is it?’

  ‘There’s no need to look so worried.’ he informed her and Natalie frowned. ‘It’s about your boyfriend.’

  ‘Eric?’

  Kane nodded slowly. ‘I’m not in the business of offering advice to other people on how to handle their love lives, but we’ve worked together for a long time, and I wouldn’t like to see you get hurt.’ He paused, then continued before she could open her mouth to speak, ‘He’s not your type.’

  There was a long silence while Natalie stared at him incredulously. ‘I beg your pardon?’ she finally said. ‘I don’t think I heard correctly.’

  ‘Now, now,’ he murmured soothingly, with a little half-smile, ‘there’s no need to be offended.’

  She gritted her teeth and wondered how long she would get in prison for manslaughter. ‘Offended?’ she offered with heavy sarcasm. ‘Because the guru on love is offering me advice on my love life? Why on earth should I be offended?’ She gave a high little laugh. ‘I should be flattered.’

  ‘I’m glad you see it that way,’ Kane agreed lazily. ‘As I said, I’m not in the habit of giving advice, but you’re not terribly experienced, and I shouldn’t like you to become involved with a man when really you’re not suited to each other at all.’

  ‘And you’ve managed to deduce al
l this from a casual meeting?’ Natalie asked coldly. ‘How clever.’

  Kane shrugged. ‘It’s quite obvious. The man’s as dull as dishwater. He’s probably after a woman who will marry him, give up her career, have two point two children and settle comfortably into mediocrity.’

  ‘And what makes you think that that’s not precisely what I would like to do?’

  ‘Because I know you.’ He shot her a crooked smile.

  ‘You don’t know me at all,’ Natalie informed him, wishing that there were some depths to which she could allude, some secret and highly exciting facet of her life which she could carelessly toss in his face to wipe that smug smile away. But there wasn’t.

  ‘Of course I know you,’ he refuted, in that same, implacably calm voice. ‘We’ve worked together for five years. I’ve seen all different sides of you. Do you re-member how nervous you were when your sister got married? You were convinced that you’d make a fool of yourself as chief bridesmaid.’

  ‘You try being chief bridesmaid at your sister’s wedding!’ Natalie defended hotly. ‘You’d understand how I felt!’ She wished now that she had been more circumspect in her dealings with the damn man. Trust him to drag up a detail like that and use it against her.

  He drew a circle on the notepad in front of him then patterned it with vague, concentric doodles, his eyes not on her face.

  ‘What I’m trying to say here is that I know you better than you think. There was a time,’ he said accusingly, ‘when you would have confided in me, instead of treating me like the enemy.’

  So that was it, Natalie thought suddenly. He was jealous of the fact that he could no longer feel in charge of my life. The thought hurt and thrilled her at the same time.

  ‘I’m not treating you like an enemy,’ she responded automatically.

  ‘You act as though I’m prying into your affairs.’

  ‘You care prying into my affairs!’

  ‘There you go again.’

  Natalie sighed wryly. And they said that women were illogical? Right now she was finding it difficult to keep up with this man’s thread of reasoning.

  He gave her a sly look. ‘I’m sure you like him, but I can’t imagine that you feel passionate about him.’

  Natalie’s mouth dropped open. ‘Th-that’ s none of your business,’ she stuttered angrily. ‘Thank you so much for the advice, I’m sure you meant well, but I can handle my own love life, thank you very much. And for your information,’ she threw at him, ‘I happen to feel very passionate about Eric, as he does about me.’ So there, she wanted to add.

  An expression of surprise crossed his features, and Natalie rushed on triumphantly, ‘We’re extremely passionate about each other. Now, is that all?’

  ‘It is,’ Kane said tautly. There was insolent disbelief in his eyes and Natalie turned away, feeling drained. Her hand was on the doorknob when he said as an after-thought, ‘What are you doing over the weekend?’

  ‘Why?’ she asked cautiously.

  ‘Business, actually,’ he said drily, looking up from his papers. ‘I’ll be entertaining a few clients on Saturday evening at my country house and I need you to be there. You can get there about six and make sure that every-thing’s all right in the kitchen. No need for caterers. Josie’s going to do the lot and O’Leary will be giving her a hand.’ He winced. ‘I have to say something about being on best behaviour. I can’t have prospective clients being shown the door by O’Leary because he doesn’t happen to care for the cut of their suit. You know how unpredictable he can be.’

  He returned to his paperwork, effectively dismissing her, and Natalie remained where she was.

  ‘I’m afraid I can’t come,’ she said finally and his head shot up.

  ‘Can’t come?’

  ‘I’ve made other arrangements.’

  ‘This seems to be becoming a habit,’ he snapped, staring at her. ‘I thought I made it quite clear when you were given that promotion that working overtime was not debatable.’

  ‘I have no objections to working overtime,’ Natalie said with a sigh, ‘you know that. It’s just that this is very last-minute and…’ Her voice trailed off and his eyes dropped a shade cooler.

  ‘Well, I do beg your pardon,’ Kane said acidly. ‘Next time I’ll do my level best to arrange important meetings to fit in with your free time.’

  ‘Can’t you get a replacement for me?’

  ‘You know I can’t. You know most of these people personally. Two of them will be dealing with you directly from now on. You’ll just have to cancel whatever you arranged. What did you have planned anyway?’

  Natalie wondered whether she should tell him quite bluntly that that was definitely none of his business, then she erred on the side of caution. ‘Eric and I had arranged to spend the weekend together,’ she confessed.

  ‘Hardly what I would call an irrevocable arrangement,’ Kane pointed out and Natalie’s eyes flashed rebelliously.

  ‘I was looking forward to it,’ she said tightly. ‘I know that work comes first with you, but other people don’t work along those lines.’

  ‘It was never a problem before,’ he pointed out coldly, ‘and if it’ s a problem now, then you’re in the wrong job.’

  ‘Are you trying to tell me something?’

  He stood up and raked his hands through his hair, looking as though he could shake her.

  ‘Don’t be a little fool. Look,’ he said, ‘why don’t you bring him? That way I could have you where I need you and lover boy could be in the background as well.’

  Natalie stared at him helplessly. Didn’t the man ever give up?

  ‘Don’t tell me that you’re embarrassed to bring him along,’ Kane drawled, when she didn’t immediately respond to his suggestion, and she glared at him.

  ‘Of course not! It’s just that…’

  ‘A weekend entertaining clients isn’t the height of romance?’

  That thought had actually been the furthest thing away from her mind, but she decided that it was as good enough an excuse for her hesitation as any other, so she nodded.

  Kane looked at her, amused. ‘You can see it as a challenge. I have managed to find romance in far less prepossessing situations.’

  Natalie didn’t want to hear this at all. It set her mind whirring far too feverishly for its own good. She met the amused green eyes blankly, and realised with resignation that there was no point in fighting him. He had made his plans, to include her, and there was no way that he was going to allow her to get out of them.

  And she could see the way he was thinking. She had always been able to fit in with whatever he had asked of her in the past. As far as he was concerned, the presence of Eric was a minor technicality, nothing that couldn’t be resolved, certainly nothing that should intrude on the far more pressing business of work.

  ‘Besides,’ Kane said to her, ‘Anna will be there. As will the other halves of the people I’ve invited. He won’t be a fish out of water, if that was concerning you.’

  ‘Not at all,’ Natalie denied quickly. ‘Eric could handle himself in any situation.’ Good grief, she thought, this is getting beyond a joke.

  ‘Very loyal.’

  ‘How many people will be there?’ she asked, changing the subject.

  ‘Twelve in all,’ he told her. ‘Hence the fact that I’m not calling in the caterers.’ He listed the people invited and she made a face when he got to one of the women, a married lady who made no pretence to hide the fact that she was attracted to Kane. He correctly read the expression on her face and grinned.

  ‘That’s why Anna’s coming.’

  ‘Sorry?’ Natalie said, flushing at the ease with which he read her mind.

  ‘Protection from Mrs Jarvis. I can see from your face that you’ve noticed her lack of tact, shall we call it, on the past occasions that we’ve met.’

  He didn’t look in the slightest bit flattered or surprised by the unwanted attentions of a married woman, but then he wouldn’t, would he? Natalie thought iron
ically. He was quite accustomed to attention from all quarters.

  ‘I thought it might have been in my imagination,’ Natalie lied awkwardly. It was this empathy with him that undermined her most.

  ‘Hardly. She invited me to sleep with her the last time we met. I don’t think she was too impressed when I refused. I told her I had made a prior arrangement to wash my hair.’

  Natalie looked at him, incredulous, until he laughed out loud.

  ‘Horrified? I’m surprised. I thought you were highly versed in the realms of passion.’ There was a thread of laughter in his voice and the stony look on her face amused him even further. There were times, she thought, when she positively hated him. Now was one of those times.

  It was clear from the look on his face that he didn’t believe a word about her passionate affair with Eric. In fact, the thought was so ludicrous that it made him laugh. Beneath the anger at his response there was a well of hurt which she refused to acknowledge. She waited in silence until his amusement subsided, then she left the office, still fuming.

  The man was unbearable. How could she ever have fallen in love with someone who was so unbearable?

  It was a rhetorical question, of course. She knew why she had fallen in love with him. He might be infuriatingly self-assured but he was also clever and witty and had a sense of humour which had edged its way under her skin until the thought of ever having to live without it made her go cold.

  Still, that didn’t mean that she was looking forward to a weekend at his country house entertaining clients, with the delightful Anna swanning around and making sly, derisory comments at her expense.

  It was funny but when she had been overweight and not particularly appealing she had managed these dos without any bother at all. She had slotted herself comfortably into the background and had happily fulfilled her duties, observing Kane from a distance, knowing that she was virtually invisible to him. Now something had changed. Perhaps it was all in her mind, but an element of sexuality had entered their relation-ship which disturbed her, made her all the more aware of how dangerous her position was. She was playing with fire merely by continuing to work for him, and playing with fire inevitably involved burnt fingers. Hers.