A Soldier in Love

by A. Petrov

  “Hi son,” she said warmly giving him a hug.

  “I’m leaving,” he began. “I have entered into the Baat explorations.”

  Serik’s eyes widened in surprise as his mother began to weep. He had never seen her weep in such a way before.

  “Ma?” he said as he reached for her hand. She gave his hand a sharp squeeze.

  “Son,” she sniffled. “I know things aren’t always easy for you but certainly this will be a death sentence for you. It’s suicide. Please don’t go.”

  “It will be easier on everyone if I just go,” he said softly.

  She only cried harder.

  Serik didn’t know why he remembered it all but he did. It was painful. He realized that was the last time he had seen his own mother. Sure, he called sometimes but he always knew that it was easier on her to have him gone. She would never say such a thing but he knew. She had a husband and another son now, a younger brother he did not know.

  Suddenly, he thought of how much pain Michelle must have been in instead of his own pain. It was horrible reliving the past.

  Serik relaxed as Michelle slept beside him. She slept more than he did since she was still recovering from the effects of the memory fog.

  And being starved to death, he reminded himself.

  He looked down at the beautiful little female. The time that had passed with her was the happiest of all of his life. He felt whole, he felt complete. His face ached from smiling so often.

  I have to do what’s best for her. I have to get her back to her own kind that is what is best for her. I know better than to love someone I cannot have. This is just like when I left Baat. I can’t even consider being selfish.

  He loved her. He had loved her ever since he first laid eyes on her. He loved her with every fiber of his being. He loved her with his whole heart. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her.

  I will do right by you, Michelle. You’ve been through enough. I’ll get you to safety. I’ll get you to your own people. I won’t let you think the worst of me, I will let you go. Maybe you will hate me but not as much as if you knew what I really was.

  He knew it was going to be painful. It was going to be more painful than anything he had experienced thus far in his life. He would miss her small body curled up next to his. Her intoxicating scent. The sound of her laughter, her words, her jokes but most of all he would miss her smile.

  He had always imagined a female that accepted him. She had been a faceless, nameless creature. She was a comforting figment of his imagination that he had kept with him for far too long. Now, Michelle was here to fill that void but he would be alone again. Worst of all, he would be without her. He would know what he was missing. His light and his warmth would be taken away. At least he would always have her memory with him, he told himself. He knew that she would always occupy his mind especially in those quiet times. Her face would be what he saw before he went to sleep.

  ***

  Michelle looked over to Serik as he navigated the ship and studied his face. He was a warrior of course but he was also so much more than that.

  Soldiers do not fall in love, she reminded herself. He’s just lonely, he just needs a companion, she added.

  Then why does it feel real? Why does it feel right? Why do I feel complete? a little voice whispered to her. She tried to push her feelings down as she folded her hands in her lap.

  “We have to stop at Sora in a few days,” Serik’s deep voice interrupted her thoughts.

  “OK,” Michelle replied in agreement.

  “I don’t want you to be disappointed,” Serik started.

  “Why would I be disappointed?” Michelle interjected as she looked into his golden blue gaze.

  “There might be… well it is a rumor,” he began softly.

  “What kind of rumor?” she replied perplexed as his sudden aloofness. Usually Serik was direct and to the point.

  “There might be humans,” he finished.

  Michelle’s heart raced and her eyes widened. “Really?”

  “I don’t want to get your hopes up if there are none of your kind there,” he added gently.

  She rushed to hug him. “That’s great news.”

  He pulled her small body to his cherishing the touch they shared. He felt her arms gently squeeze him as he inhaled her sweet scent.

  Great news… you can finally leave me, Serik’s heart sank as she pulled back flashing another beautiful smile.

  He smiled back weakly. His heart sank even further as he thought about her body close to his when they were dancing or when he held her at night.

  What did you think? Did you really think she would fall in love with you? That someone as beautiful as her would want someone like you? Stupid, stupid, stupid. I am meant to be alone, she was just, well, I don’t know… she deserves better. I’m such a fool, I know better than to fall in love with someone I can never have.

  “I have a trade there but it will probably take some extra time. About a week,” he added.

  “How far away are we?” Michelle questioned.

  “We’ll be there in the morning.”

  Michelle looked down at the book on the tablet Serik had set up for her but she was too excited to concentrate on reading. She smiled to herself. She was finally going to see her people.

  ***

  Michelle had showered and curled up into bed. She felt a wave of sleepiness come over her.

  Where is he?

  She rose to her feet and went to the kitchen but it was empty. The cookware and other utensils were neatly put away. She checked the cockpit thinking that maybe he was doing some sort of navigation or chartering. She looked, but again he wasn’t there.

  Then it hit her. He was in his own bedroom, not her room. Her room, she scoffed at herself. The guest room, you mean?

  “Serik?” Michelle called out softly.

  “Michelle? What are you doing still awake?” he said turning on a dim light.

  Michelle’s cheeks reddened. “Well, you didn’t come in. Is something wrong?”

  “No, I just thought…” he began.

  “I’m sorry… I’m bothering you. I should let you rest. I’ll see you in the morning,” she interrupted him trying to hide the embarrassment in her tone.

  “No, no it’s OK. Don’t go,” he grinned gently pulling her on the bed.

  “I haven’t been touched or held by anyone in so long, too long. Well, before you,” she added quietly.

  “I haven’t ever touched anyone like this… it feels good to have you in my arms,” he whispered gently into her ear.

  “Mmm,” she murmured as he slipped his muscular arms around her pulling her small body close to his large one.

  Too good, baby, too good, he thought of holding Michelle akin to having one bite of a delicious meal. He was still hungry for more.

  He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head as he tried to shake his intense desire for her

  She looked up at him in the dim light. “Serik?” she questioned quietly.

  “Yeah?” he replied.

  “You wonder from place to place without really having a home besides this shuttle?” she asked. Her voice was soft and unsure.

  “Yeah, baby. I do.”

  “Usually when you do that it’s because you’re looking for something? What is it you’re looking for?” she asked in a small voice.

  She paused looking to him, her eyes sad and unsure.

  Tell her you love her, tell her, his mind raced but his mouth just would not comply with his request. He thought for a moment she could love him that she could accept him. He wanted to tell her that he loved her and he wanted to tell her the truth but something just held him back. The words wanted to come out but they just wouldn’t.

  “I’d be a fool to try and change you,” she added softly.

  “Well, you’re the prettiest little fool I’ve ever met,” he replied.

  She smiled. “I know we haven’t known each other that long but it feels right. I sound s
illy saying all this don’t I? You must think I have a bad case of post traumatic stress disorder.”

  “It feels right because it is right,” he pulled her closer to his chest, feeling her small body relax against his.

  “I’m real happy, Serik,” she said sleepily.

  “Me too, baby, me too. The happiest I’ve ever been,” he replied.

  “Really?” Michelle asked.

  “You’re the best thing that has ever come into my life,” he replied as he watched her drift off to sleep.

  Too happy, I love you baby but I know you’ll change your mind once you see your kind again. If you knew the truth, surely you would hate me.

  He enjoyed the sensation of her warm body against his for a few more moments he wanted to memorize the way she felt in his arms for all the lonely nights he would have without her.

  Chapter Thirty-six

  Michelle looked on the viewscreen to the planet they were drawing nearer to. It kind of reminded her of Earth but it was much, much more blue and a lot smaller. She had never imagined in all of her life that she would be floating above and looking down at other planets. She felt a pang of nervousness in her stomach.

  There might be humans, Serik’s words had stuck in her head. She could only hope it was true.

  “What’s Sora like?” Michelle questioned.

  “Kind of like your Earth except more water,” Serik replied not looking up from the control panels.

  Michelle felt strange looking down to the blue planet. She was just glad it wasn’t Redex.

  “Strap in, were going down soon,” Serik ordered.

  Michelle began to strap herself in. She felt the familiar pull as the shuttle lowered. It was getting bumpy.

  “You OK?” Serik looked over to her.

  Michelle nodded and closed her eyes as the pull became faster. She felt her stomach protest but somehow held down her food. She hated being flung around through different atmospheres.

  The shuttle slowly came to a halt as Serik landed it in the docking bay. Michelle relaxed against the seat. She already knew what he was about to say.

  “Decompress for a minute,” he instructed. “Let your body get used to the atmosphere.”

  “I knew you were going to say that,” Michelle said with a grin.

  After decompressing, Serik led Michelle out of the shuttle. She slowly fumbled forward as her body got used to the different gravitational pull. As she looked around, she was instantly reminded of Earth. The docking zone was near a large body of water. It was a pure blue, untainted by pollution or the inhabitants. As they followed a trail, she could see woods all around her. There were many trees that stood tall. Her eyes wandered from their bases upwards to their limbs that tried to reach the sky. It looked remarkably similar to those of Earth.

  “You!” a voice called out.

  Michelle turned around to see a man about her age. There was no doubt about it; he was human. As he moved closer she could tell he was dark haired and dark eyed.

  “You, you are an Earth soldier?” he shouted excitedly.

  Michelle nodded bearing her Earth Army tattoo to him as if her uniform wasn’t enough. She had put it on that morning for the first time in a very long time but it felt right to do so. If there were others like her, she would still be a soldier.

  He grabbed her hands and looked into her eyes as he squeezed them tightly. “You are appreciated here, soldier.”

  Michelle felt awkward in his embrace.

  Serik gave a stern glance to the male who was touching his mate.

  Not your mate. You have to let her go. Do what’s best for her… don’t let her hate you, Serik reminded himself.

  “I’m Ethan,” he said with a smile. His dark eyes were filled with both excitement and confusion.

  “I’m Michelle, A3343Z,” she said looking to Serik.

  “And I’m Serik,” he grumbled.

  “Is this, is he… is he your mate?” Ethan questioned.

  Before Michelle could answer Serik growled, “More like her body guard.”

  “Well, I don’t know what your plans are but there are some others from Earth that I know would like to meet you. I saw your shuttle coming in and I ran over. I feel like I’ve been running forever to get to you guys,” Ethan beamed ignoring Serik’s roughness.

  Michelle looked to Serik and he nodded.

  “Are you sure it’s OK?” Michelle whispered to Serik.

  He nodded.

  “Sure,” Michelle replied warmly. As much as Michelle had enjoyed spending time with Serik, she wanted to see other humans. She wanted to see if any of them had any information about the Earth wars. She wanted to go to a place where she wouldn’t be the alien, where she would be normal.

  “Great, it’s not too far from here,” Ethan said as he led them down a paved path.

  Michelle and Serik followed him in silence.

  Michelle watched as a small dark haired woman came running up to them.

  “Look, see I’m not as small as you think,” Michelle whispered to Serik and grinned.

  He grinned back and shook his head.

  “Who are they?” an older man pointed with a sneer.

  “Michelle and Serik. Michelle is an Earth soldier,” Ethan replied warmly.

  “We have to throw her a party,” the petite woman exclaimed loudly.

  “Uh, wait,” Michelle said as she waved her hands up in front of her chest in an effort to protest.

  “Yes, yes we have to— you’ve been out fighting for us!” the petite woman cheered.

  “No, no it’s really OK,” Michelle stammered.

  Michelle was a little uncertain about why the small woman that stood in front of her was so

  peppy. She really didn’t understand why she wanted to throw her a party. The whole thing made her uncomfortable.

  “Nonsense! You are American? I can tell from your accent,” the petite woman continued.

  “Well, yes,” Michelle began.

  “Great! We will have a barbeque, just like we did back home. You deserve it. Only a few of you guys made it back,” the woman interjected. Her voice was high and excited.

  Only a few made it back? Michelle’s mind raced. Almost everyone healthy on Earth was an Earth soldier, what did she mean only a few made it back?

  Before Michelle could ask, Serik spoke up, “Michelle does deserve it. I saw her risk her life to save her fellow soldiers. She is strong, loyal, and fierce.”

  “You are truly hero, soldier,” Ethan exclaimed. The others cheered in response.

  I didn’t even kill any Cabaka, what is wrong with these people.

  Michelle shot Serik an annoyed glance.

  “Why did you tell them that?” Michelle quietly hissed to Serik as the woman and Ethan began to chat excitedly about the party plans.

  “Because you did and you deserve it,” Serik whispered back and shrugged.

  “I’m only going if you go,” Michelle said with pleading eyes.

  Serik sighed. “Baby, I can’t I got business.”

  “Serik, please. I don’t deserve a party I didn’t kill one Cabaka, not one.”

  Serik shook his head. “No, it’s your party, with your people. You do deserve it and I’ve got to leave once I get you somewhere safe.”

  “But you’re coming back, right?” Michelle felt her heart suddenly race.

  Serik was quiet for a moment then nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be back, baby.”

  Just then Michelle was surprised to see they were coming up on about twenty other humans a long with a few children.

  The petite woman came forward. Upon getting a closer view she could see the woman’s swollen belly. She was pregnant.

  “Do you want to stay with me?” the woman offered.

  “Uhm,” Michelle stammered.

  “The Baat can stay with us too. My husband is Baat as well. I’m sure he’d love it,” the woman smiled.

  “Mom,” a voice called out at the woman.

  To Michelle’s relief the woman tu
rned around and focused her attention on the young boy.

  “I can’t stay at their house. Especially if her mate is Baat, he will think it’s bad luck. I’ve got to make this deal. I’m sorry, baby,” Serik forced himself to say. His heart raced as he felt nervousness wash over him. He was going to have to force himself to walk away. He put one foot in front of the other and did exactly that.