by Shae Mills
Dar bristled, his hand tightening on his gun, his temper flaring.
Tarn was well aware of the boundary he had just pushed, and he released her lips. He glared at Dar, and then stepped back, reluctantly pushing Chelan toward him.
Dar's ire abated marginally. "I'm sorry, Tarn," he apologized.
"So am I," replied Tarn tepidly, sheathing his knife.
Dar took Chelan by the hand and pulled her through the throng of security that surrounded him and out into the corridor. As the doors closed, Chelan turned on him, pummeling his chest with her fists. "Damn you!" she screeched. "Damn you," she whimpered, and she fell against him.
Dar hugged her fiercely. "Oh god, Chelan, I'm so sorry. I just want you to talk to Korba."
"Yes, and Fremma wanted me to talk to him also, and I found him with Marri!"
Dar almost cringed. "Chelan," he whispered. "If you can't talk to him or work things out, then you have my permission and my blessing to return to Tarn if you wish. Or if you have forgiven me for this, then I will certainly not turn you away. I will always be there for you. But you must try this first. He sent me to find you, and he is waiting for you now."
"Fremma told him, didn't he?"
"Yes," he answered succinctly, praying that she would not pursue the topic of Fremma. Korba's knife had been deep and true, and Fremma's outlook was bleak at best.
"I'll go," she uttered in resignation, pushing away from him. She turned and began down the corridor.
Dar felt a renewed rage welling up within him. He spoke to himself. "One last chance, my friend, or yours she will never be." Dar clenched his fists and followed Chelan slowly on their long and painful journey back to the Command Center.
Chelan hesitated at the main entrance. She wished that she could just turn and walk through Fremma's doors and into his loving arms. But Dar touched her shoulder, and she moved forward without looking at him. The doors closed behind her, trapping her within Korba's domain. She looked down the Center and found him standing by the consoles, his back to her.
Slowly, he turned and stood motionless, staring at her. Chelan attempted to read his thoughts, but his features were illegible, his mood indecipherable. Suddenly, she averted her eyes as he began to ascend the stairs toward her. Only when he stood within inches of her did she finally looked up at him and dare to speak. "Dar said that you wished to see to me," she stated flatly.
"Yes," came his quiet reply.
Chelan looked to the side. "About what?"
"About us."
"What about us?" she asked under her breath.
Korba was taken aback by the edge in her voice. "I want to know where we stand."
"Where we stand," she repeated calmly. "We stand nowhere!" she erupted. "You never came to see me when I was ill. You never even asked about me. And worst of all, you never even said good-bye!"
Chelan was shaking, and she took a step back from him. Suddenly, her voice mellowed. "And while you were gone, I prayed for your return and pleaded for your safety. And when you stepped through that door, I thanked the heavens for your deliverance." She paused. "But then you discarded me again, finally and ultimately, when you chose Marri over me!"
Korba stood still, his blood foaming with unforeseen anger directed mostly at himself for not having better control of the situation. Finally, his own powerful emotions overwhelmed him, and he walked up to her, seizing her arm and wrenching her to him. "And what was your role in all this?" he shouted. "You made no attempt to hide your contempt for me by stating that you were staying with Fremma. You wanted me to think you had chosen him and him alone!" Chelan tried to turn away, but he yanked her back forcefully. "And now you attempt to bury your sorrow by using one of my men to seduce you!" Suddenly, Korba's keen senses were assaulted by the male scent that permeated her body. "Just where did Dar find you, Chelan?" he asked accusingly. "You charge me with choosing Marri to quench my desire, but at least I did it honestly!"
"Honestly!" she shrieked defiantly. "Did you ever tell her about any of the feelings you once had for me? Did you ever tell her how much you supposedly cared for me? Or did you—" Chelan suddenly stopped. Her chest heaved with anguish as a revelation hit her. "Or did you choose her honestly?" Chelan swallowed hard. She had assumed Korba wished to talk to her about his true feelings for her, and to apologize for being with Marri. But now she felt she had been too presumptuous. Maybe he had called her here to inform her of his intentions with Marri. Maybe he did love the warrior and not her. Her world spun.
Korba released her abruptly, distressed by the look of shock and horror that drenched her face. She hugged herself and began backing away from him. "Chelan," he murmured gently. "I am sorry. You are right. I was dishonest with Marri. I never told her of my feelings for you. I... until I walked into this room upon my return, I wasn't even being honest with myself."
He took a half step toward her. His voice became soft and low. "And I did ask about you, often, even if Dar never told you. Right up until the day I left..."
Chelan turned her back to him, her ears unhearing. First Fremma, then Dar, and now Korba. And on top of it all, Tarn had been ripped from her. She turned back to him, her voice but a whisper. "Look, we both need a break. We've both had a shock. We both need to think clearly, and we both need to choose our words carefully." Chelan rubbed her eyes, her vision seeming to cloud. Her mind tumbled, her perspective dimming. She looked up at him and straightened, pulling her exterior together. She searched his face and his azure eyes, but she was no longer sure who the man before her was. The gentle man who had cared for her so long ago was gone, and he had not returned. Now she was alone.
"I need some time to think," she muttered quietly. She hesitated as her mind went eerily blank. She looked around the Command Center, its familiarity and warmth lost to her. Suddenly, everything was so alien and unfriendly. She looked back at him. "I need some time alone, so I'm going to take a shower while you stay here. Afterward, hopefully, we can talk like two rational people."
Korba exhaled, the last of his wrath subsiding. He realized that she was right, for he, too, needed time to collect his thoughts. But he was worried about her. Something was not right. She had spoken coherently, yet her eyes were vacant, her tone cryptic.
Chelan looked back up to him and smiled weakly. "Everything will be fine. I just need time." And she walked off into the workout area.
Korba watched her go. He wanted to follow. He took a step forward and then restrained himself. Something told him that she should not be left by herself, but he quashed the thought. He would give her the space and solitude she had requested.
Chelan smiled at the subdued lighting in the cavernous workout room, its dark tentacles embracing her. She had no intention of using the shower. She had finally been tipped over the edge of her ability to cope. She admitted to herself that she loved Korba with every fiber of her being, but too much had hit her, and now she was beyond rationality. Her depression ran deep, and her thoughts were mired in hopelessness. She was entangled within a hideous nightmare, and there was no one to awaken her. Fremma had turned her away, Dar had given her away, and now Korba had quarreled with her.
Chelan walked to the end of the workout area and sat by the edge of the shimmering pool. She peered down into the icy water, her slender fingers producing a succession of tiny, wayward ripples. Their alien culture, their harsh lives, and her burning love had all culminated to snuff the life from her. She felt dead.
Now her calamitous thoughts turned to Earth, her little blue planet so far away. Chelan trembled as unbidden tears formed, her mind spiraling into delirium. With ungovernable torment, she traced through the rape that had occurred so many years ago. Even though the horror of it still assaulted her, the incident now seemed somehow insignificant. Everything seemed insignificant, even her life.
Chelan rocked herself as her thoughts returned to Korba. She loved him so much, but a relationship with him was futile. Marri was his own kind, and that was for the best. She would take Fr
emma's words of love and gift them forward to Korba, releasing him to Marri as he so rightly deserved. It would be her way of expressing her love to him ultimately and forever.
Chelan felt a deep sense of unforeseen calm envelop her. From the mist of her fabricated contentment she saw a way to free the remnants of the chains that had bound Dar and Fremma to her so unfairly. It was so simple, so perfect, and it would be pure bliss.
She rose onto her knees and began removing her gown. She closed her eyes, feeling disembodied, her own touch not quite her own. She slid her hands over her slim, shapely curves and let the garment slither from her form. She hugged herself, mesmerized by the feeling of her silky hair on her satin-smooth skin. Her hands coursed over her shoulders and down her breasts, her own fullness enchanting her momentarily. Then, as though possessed, her hands continued their descent to her firm, flat belly. She leaned forward to look at herself in the mirror of icy blue. She was stunning, she admitted, and she stared longingly at herself through jaded eyes.
She giggled unexpectedly, and then pressed her fingers to her lips in embarrassment. In a way, it was too bad that she was never going to experience a man in the ultimate act of love. And in a way it was a waste, and she giggled again at her arrogance. But suddenly she sobered. No, it was not a waste. Not with these men. Their women were their equals in every way, beautiful, brilliant, and sexually free. But most importantly, they were Iceanean... and she was not.
Chelan looked at the water, its long, frozen fingers beckoning to her. She sat and lowered her legs into it, its frigid arms caressing her soft, white skin. It sent an alien surge of warmth through her desolate mind, and she drew a deep, comforting breath in response. At least it would not reject her, and its all-consuming embrace would take her unquestioningly forever.
Chelan pushed off from the pool's edge. She slid slowly and silently below the blanket of blue, her mind and body finally at rest in the most peaceful bed of all, the bed of oblivion.
* * *
Korba paced about the Command Center, trying to chain his temporarily undisciplined mind and forcing it to work for him. This whole episode was idiotic and absolutely unnecessary. The facts were clear and simple, and only unrestrained emotion had kept the two of them from the love and ecstasy they both sought. She had been overwhelmed by his unexpected return, and he was still battle fatigued. Neither of them had been thinking coherently.
Then Korba thought of Dar, the blonde Warlord constantly chiding him about his choice of abstinence, accusing him of holding a torch for Sabina. But that was not it at all. He had been afraid of loving another and of being beset by another tragedy such as Sabina's death. But that was now absurd. He was the most powerful man in the galaxy, save from Ticees himself, and nothing could stop him from protecting Chelan. No one would touch her, for no one would dare to and hope to survive. Today was not yesterday. Instead, it was the beginning of his new future. Now, all he had to do to obtain the ultimate in happiness was to release himself to the purity of his heart. His happiness was Chelan.
He entered the workout area, his heightened senses picking up on her absence. His catlike eyes scanned the vastness. His mind and body instantly sprang into action. His powerful legs catapulted him down the length of the pool toward her discarded gown. His heart raced as his eyes scoured the pool's depths.
"Chelan!" he yelled as his body sliced through the water, surging into the icy abyss. Clutching her with one arm, he surfaced and hoisted her cool body from the pool in one fluid motion. He worked with astonishing swiftness, his regimented mind keeping his emotions from interfering with his desperate work.
He knew that she had not been submerged long, but every second was still critical to her complete recovery. He felt for her pulse and found it. Flipping her over his knees, face down, he pressed into her chest, forcing the excess water to drain from her lungs. Then he rolled her to her back on the floor. He tilted her head, opening her airway, and pinched her nose. His warm mouth surrounded her arctic lips, and he blew his life into hers. He watched her chest rise and fall as he continued for what seemed to be an eternity but was only moments.
Finally, she convulsed and began to cough, bringing up fluid as her chilled body contorted. Korba drew her to him as he stroked her face and waited until she was still. Then, with relief, he witnessed the color returning to her flesh as her lungs heaved to replenish her body's oxygen.
She rose up slightly, slipping away from his arms. She groaned and clutched her chest as another wave of coughing overtook her. She felt ill, and her stomach retched.
Korba sat quietly by her until she could move no more. Soundlessly, she slumped to the frigid floor, her eyes shut. He reached for her again, raising her limp and unresponsive body to his. Releasing his jacket, he pressed her flesh into his chest.
Her eyes remained closed while shivers assaulted her weakened frame. Korba stretched forward for her gown and laid it over her. He buried his face in her wet, tangled hair and inhaled her sweet scent. "Oh, Chelan," he whispered, "Oh, my Lady." His voice caught. "Oh, woman, I love you so much." He kissed her head, pressing her closer still and imparting his warmth to her.
Chelan remained still, his words lethargically penetrating her nebulous thoughts. Suddenly, she was wracked by more bone-jarring coughs. Rolling away from him again, she hung her head as her lungs banished the final droplets of offending water. She drew in several gulps of air, and then was finally still. She tugged her gown to her breasts as her mind battled for coherency. She felt him stroking her back, and she closed her eyes, her body dissolving under his soothing touch. Then his hand receded from her.
"You know," he began wearily, "you are worthy of a Warlord, my beautiful woman." He hung his head. "But the only Warlord worthy of you is Dar."
Chelan remained inert as his words inched their way to her crippled soul. She clutched the gown tight, wondering if she had the strength to move. Her lungs began to protest once again, and Chelan hunched over, her chest burning. She looked at the floor, her eyes watering.
Suddenly, the mist of her mind lifted. She looked to him and gasped. He was gone. Chelan frantically drew the gown over her head and pushed herself to her feet. She groaned and bent over, her lungs rebelling yet again. Her world spun. She wavered and then straightened. Squinting against the blackness, she could see him receding into the shadows. Chelan wiped the cobwebs of her hair from her face. Then she ran after him as quickly as she dared. "Korba," she called quietly.
He appeared not to hear her. Chelan grabbed his arm and stepped in front of him, forcing him to stop. "Korba," she whispered softly.
"Please, Chelan," his voice a deep rumble. "I asked Dar to take care of you for me while I was gone, and he has done that well. And now you should go to him. I know he will always look after you, protect you, and cherish you."
Chelan held his arms tightly, empowering herself to be strong. "And what of you?" she queried. "If I asked, would you not take care of me?"
Korba stopped breathing. Chelan reached for his face. "I heard your words before, and I will never leave you, if you will have me. I love you, Korba, more than I could ever put into words."
The moment stretched so long that Chelan felt as if time itself had ceased. She didn't know if he was measuring his words, or hers, but she needed to fill the stifling void of silence. Her fingers brushed along his jaw. "You saved me when others would not have. You cared for me personally and lovingly, though the act flew in the face of all that is your culture. You took a chance on me, allowed me access to all that is your world, and welcomed me to it. Neither of us anticipated Izan's or the graveness of the situation that took you away for so long. Circumstances conspired against us both, but all of that is in the past."
She continued to look up into his azure eyes, and to her relief she saw him take a breath. He raised his hand to her face and touched her tenderly, yet tentatively, as if to see if she was real. Chelan swallowed hard. She stretched up and kissed his firm lips, his long-lost yet familiar male scen
t sending ripples of longing throughout her physical being.
Slowly, and cautiously, he began to respond. His hands grazed her shoulders as his kisses became more urgent. Finally, he released himself to her reality, and his powerful arms flew around her slim body, crushing her to him. His kiss was long and passionate.
Chelan finally withdrew from his mouth and looked up into his warm, loving eyes. "I've waited so long..." she uttered, "I've waited so long to be with you. I love you so much." Her voice began to break and her eyes filled. "I was so empty when you left, and I died inside when I thought of your death."
"Oh, Chelan, I too, died within my heart when I left. There were times when I prayed that I would be killed just so I did not have to return only to find you gone or lost to me forever."
A small whimper escaped her lips. Korba stroked her moist, silken hair and cradled her beautiful face in his hands. "I will never leave you like that again, Chelan, and you will come to no harm on Iceanea, as I have the forces of the Empire to protect you."
Chelan closed her eyes and pressed the side of her face into his chest. She erased the thoughts of him dying from her mind and luxuriated in his strong embrace. She remained in his arms a long time, her tears of pain slowly evolving into the tears of indescribable joy. Then she took a deep breath, her body beginning to quiver with anticipation. Steeling herself, she looked up at him. "Will you make love to me?" she asked in a timid whisper.
Korba's eyes were alive with adoration and desire. "I've wanted to make love to you since the day you arrived, my Lady. I was simply too afraid to admit to the love that accompanied that desire." His fingers traced her fine features. "When Stose and Manza told me about you, about your time with them, I knew you were special. When Marri told me that she felt you were brilliant, I was utterly and indelibly hooked. And in my heart I knew, even if you didn't accept me as anything more than your friend, I knew that I wanted to be with you, to teach you, to train you, and to be with you in whatever capacity you allowed. Nothing in the galaxy would make me happier now than to make sweet love to you."