Miss Treadwell's Talent

by Barbara Metzger

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  A precious peace…

  Miss Treadwell’s Talent

  Dedication

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Epilogue

  Miss Treadwell’s Talent

  By Barbara Metzger

  Copyright 2012 by Barbara Metzger

  Cover Copyright 2012 by Ginny Glass and Untreed Reads Publishing

  The author is hereby established as the sole holder of the copyright. Either the publisher (Untreed Reads) or author may enforce copyrights to the fullest extent.

  Previously published in print, 1999.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold, reproduced or transmitted by any means in any form or given away to other people without specific permission from the author and/or publisher. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to the living or dead is entirely coincidental.

  Also by Barbara Metzger and Untreed Reads Publishing

  A Loyal Companion

  A Suspicious Affair

  An Angel for the Earl

  An Enchanted Affair

  Cupboard Kisses

  Father Christmas

  Lady Whilton’s Wedding

  Rake’s Ransom

  The Duel

  The House of Cards Trilogy

  Wedded Bliss

  http://www.untreedreads.com

  A precious peace…

  “Then we have a truce, Miss Treadwell?”

  “Pax,” she agreed, holding her hand out to seal the bargain. Instead of shaking it, as she expected, he brought her gloved fingers to his lips. “And…and thank you for sending over Monsieur Vincente to do my hair this morning. I shall repay you, of course, but it was very thoughtful.”

  “No, I won’t hear of it. I owed you for my boorishness. Besides, it was worth every penny, for the curls are delightful.”

  Maylene colored at the compliment, then recalled that he was still holding her. hand. “My lord, we really ought not be stopping here like this, apart from everyone else.”

  He sighed, but released her hand after pressing a light kiss to the palm. “That’s right. I am not a rake.”

  “And I am not a light-skirt.”

  They both sighed. The earl gave the horses the office to start, then cursed. “Dash it, I am no monk, either.” And he reached over, pulled Maylene closer, and kissed her….

  Miss Treadwell’s Talent

  By Barbara Metzger

  To all my new Internet readers

  Chapter One

  Her mother was a mystic. To Miss Maylene Treadwell’s discomfort, her mama spoke to spirits. Thisbe, Lady Tremont, relict of the late, unlamented Baron Tremont, held discourse with the dearly departed. Or the not so dearly departed. So long as they were dead.

  She did not hold dialogues with her deceased husband, since she’d barely spoken to him in life and saw no reason to disturb an otherwise pleasant widowhood with Tremont’s ill temper. He’d been a curmudgeon for his two score and six years; one could only imagine his mood in eternity. Instead, Lady Tremont examined the afterlife with an entity known as Max.

  This was not, perhaps, the best recommendation a young woman might have upon entering London’s Marriage Mart. In fact, Mama and Max together were some remarkably heavy baggage for a debutante to carry on her journey through a come-out and subsequent Seasons. Maylene had had too many Seasons, thanks to her father’s gambling away her dowry and her mother’s gamboling through the hereafter. Maylene was of average looks, if one discounted her unmanageable, flyaway blond hair, and perhaps above average intelligence. Her mother rejoiced in Maylene’s loyal, caring nature. Her mother despaired that Maylene was one-and-twenty, and unwed.

  Since her mother’s patrons provided the wherewithal for their continued existence on the fringes of Polite Society—nay, for their continued existence, period—Maylene had learned to silence her reservations about Lady Tremont’s pastime. Lud knew Maylene couldn’t silence her mama—or Max.

  Maylene was not sure about Max, but she dearly loved her mother. So did the ton, thank goodness. Eccentrics were the spice in a bland diet of balls and dinners and card parties with the same faces, the same interests, the same conversations. Thisbe, Lady Tremont, was an original. She was also of good birth, bore a respectable title, and was without the least hint of scandal. She was also without two shillings to rub together. If she enlivened—endeadened?—the beau monde’s evenings, they were willing to make generous contributions to the Fund for Psychical Research in return.

  The Fund for Psychical Research was otherwise known as the household account. On account of an empty coalbin, therefore, the little house on Curzon Street was holding another of Lady Tremont’s ghoulish gatherings.

  Maylene shuddered, and not from any spectral force sending shivers down her spine, nor from the chill in the parlor due to the recently lighted meager fire, nor yet the odd trancelike state her mother entered. Maylene trembled because she was forced to hold the flaccid, damp, toadstool-white left hand of Lord Shimpton, without benefit of gloves. Mama had insisted the fabric kept their thoughts from uniting, making the flow less powerful, too thin to reach the otherworld and Max. Maylene wondered if the peer’s perspiration would dilute the aura. It certainly disgusted her. She’d rather hold a dead carp in her hand. Now that she thought of it, that was precisely what Shimpton’s hand felt like.

  Lady Tremont’s eyes snapped open. “Someone,” she hissed, “is not concentrating.”

  Maylene closed her similar blue eyes and tried her best to think of those who had passed beyond, instead of those who merely smelled that way.

  There was a small circle this evening, unfortunately. Two petitioners sat on either side of Lady Tremont, with Campbell, the butler, and Maylene’s great-aunt, Regina Howard, making up the numbers at the round table. Sometimes enough aspirants came to seek their dear defunct that Maylene did not have to take part, but could sit in the corner and take notes for future reference, or research, as Mama preferred to term it. She could also figure how many wax candles Lady Crowley’s donation would purchase, if Mama and Max were able to reassure the recent widow that the late Lord Crowley had indeed reached the Light after being lost at sea. Judging from his past behavior, the loutish lordship was more likely dinner for the devilfish in hell.

  Her mother might have one foot in the ether, but she knew as well as Maylene which side their bread was buttered on, and whence came the butter. Max was probably goi
ng to tell them that Lord Crowley could not come hear his young wife’s final farewell because he was too busy learning the harp. Yes, there came the faint sound of strings, so soft no one would have heard it, except for the held-breath hush in the small parlor, which just happened to abut the smaller music room, where Lady Tremont’s faithful maid Nora just happened to be dusting the instrument.

  “Max says he needs practice,” Mama whispered now, her eyes still closed as she swayed in her chair.

  Lady Tremont believed in spiritualism, not starvation.

  Last week she’d convinced Lord Applegate that of course his dead father would forgive him for running off with that actress. Certainly the man’s erstwhile fiancée hadn’t forgiven him, nor had her brothers, who were rumored to be out for Applegate’s blood. Fearing his own imminent mortality, Applegate had sought an ally in the afterlife. Maylene had been able to pay the grocer from his gratitude.

  Maylene would have liked to think that her mother’s patrons wished to commune with their friends and relations out of a great love for the deceased; perhaps they’d forgotten to express that love before it was too late, or hadn’t time for proper farewells, like Lady Crowley. Instead, she’d come to believe that it was fear and uncertainty and loneliness that sent a great many of them to Lady Tremont’s spirit circles. Miss Treadwell found the séances sad, even if they provided her sustenance. But her mama was providing a service, Maylene almost convinced herself: if the soul-seekers left somewhat poorer in the purse, they were rewarded with peace of mind. That way she did not have to feel guilty about accepting the money. Besides, no matter what Maylene thought, her mother believed in what she was doing. No actress could have attained that sublime smile, the look of beatitude that came over the older woman whenever Max was talking to her, like now. She sat straighter in her chair, as if her mind were that much closer to Paradise.

  “Ah,” she said, her eyes still shut as if she could conjure an image behind her lids, “there you are, my dear. Look who else is visiting us this evening. It is Lord Shimpton, come to speak with his beloved mother. Remember, he was here a few days ago, and we asked if you could make contact with the dear woman for us.”

  Max usually needed a sennight or so to find the right spirit. The beyond was a large place, Mama told her clients, explaining why reaching their loved ones often took two or three visits—and two or three donations to the Fund for Psychical Research, which was unobtrusively but unmistakably housed in a Chinese urn on the table in the entry hall. If one of the callers should happen to overlook the urn’s label, perhaps in an excess of emotion, the Treadwell House butler could perform a creditable imitation of a tollgate. Campbell would block the door, clear his throat, stare pointedly at the jar, and neglect to hand over the guest’s wraps. If neither donation nor doucour was forthcoming, neither was Max on the next visit. Lord Shimpton had been desperately eager to ask his mother if he could properly put off mourning after two years. The urn was overflowing.

  “Have you found her, Max?” Lady Tremont asked. “The poor boy misses her so much, surely she will come talk to him.”

  The poor boy had to be perilously close to thirty years of age, Maylene thought. Viscount Shimpton sought his mother’s forgiveness, her blessing, and her guidance. In Miss Treadwell’s opinion, he should have been seeking for his brain, since the dowager viscountess seemed to have taken it with her to the next life. She’d taken his manhood in this one. The viscount’s chin seemed to have decamped at birth, obviously choosing not to spend a lifetime with such a weak willy. Perhaps Max could suggest Shimpton grow a beard—and longer hair to cover ears that stuck out sideways. Maylene would mention it to Mama, if the viscount returned.

  “Is she there?” he whispered hoarsely. “Mumsy, where are you?”

  He’d return.

  “I always knew Mumsy would go to heaven.” Lord Shimpton sighed ecstatically until Aunt Regina shushed him.

  “That’s not how it works,” she told him in an aside while Lady Tremont waited for Max to nudge the old virago of a viscountess out of her eternal slumber. “Only the saints and innocent infants go straight to the blessed beyond. True sinners go to the baser beyond. Everyone else has to wait around for Judgment Day. That’s why the in-between is so crowded. Otherwise Max could find your mother in jig time—if the unincorporated can dance a jig.”

  Maylene’s mother cleared her throat and frowned at Aunt Regina. “That’s incorporeal, not unincorporated, Auntie.” She needed a few moments to redirect her thoughts skyward. Then, when all was quiet again, Lady Tremont shook herself, took a deep breath, and raised her chin, like a bulldog. “Frederick? Is that you?”

  Maylene marveled at the change in her mother’s voice. Suddenly, Lady Tremont sounded as if her mouth were full of lemons and her heart was full of limestone. “Sit up, boy. And straighten your neckcloth. How many times have I told you not to slouch?”

  “Mums! It is you!”

  Maylene prayed Mama didn’t overdo the shrew, but Viscount Shimpton was nodding happily. His eyes screwed shut, he was squeezing Maylene’s hand so hard she’d have watermarks, like stationery. “Ask her about colors,” he whispered. “Can I have that new puce waistcoat?”

  “You’ll look like a filleted salmon,” his fond parent replied, through Lady Tremont’s lips. “But pearl gray might be nice, with a tracing of embroidery. And none of those yellow Cossack trousers, Frederick. Do you hear me?”

  “Yes, Mumsy. No, Mumsy, I wouldn’t.”

  Maylene was hoping her mother didn’t intend to oversee the nodcock’s new wardrobe or they’d be here all night. Besides, Maylene’s army of information gatherers had discovered details about the viscount’s household that he ought to be told, in fair trade for his largesse to the research fund. Aunt Regina knew her Debrett’s inside and out, while Campbell knew the inside of every pub and tavern that catered to those who catered to the nobs. Treadwell House’s two young footmen, Campbell’s nephews, had contacts among fences and flash houses about which Maylene never inquired too closely, and the abigail, Nora, was privy to every scrap of gossip passed in a ladies’ retiring chamber, dressmaker’s fitting room, or companion’s corner. If the War Office had such an efficient squadron of spies, the Corsican upstart would have been long vanquished.

  “You have more important things to think about than your clothes, sonny,” Mama rasped, remembering her lines, or Lady Shimpton’s. “That housekeeper you hired is cheating you blind, Frederick. She makes the merchants pay her for your business, and then she doubles the accountings. She feeds you inferior foodstuffs, while you pay for the finest. Her staff is underpaid, despite the enormous payroll she presents to you. You’re being fleeced, you gudgeon.”

  “I am?” Shimpton was still regretting the yellow Cossack trousers. His lip was quivering. “What should I do, Mums?”

  He should grow a backbone, Maylene thought to herself. Then she shrugged. They’d given him the facts; it was up to the viscount to act on them. But through her lashes, she could see that tears were coursing down the clunch’s cheeks. Added to his sweaty palms, the humidity would make Maylene’s hair curl even worse than usual. Still, how could she not feel pity for the poor fool, who’d never had a thought in his brain box that his mother hadn’t put there? She and Campbell would go have a talk with that housekeeper in the morning.

  Her mother must have noticed the viscount’s distress, too, and her tender heart led her to reassure him: “But you’re not alone anymore, sonny. These nice, honest people will help you.”

  Maylene groaned. Mama was forgetting Lady Shimpton’s character and letting her own sweetness come through. She coughed to get her mother’s attention. Her ploy worked, for Lady Tremont’s voice returned to a harsh screech. “You’ll never amount to anything, Frederick, the way you moon around. Why, you’d have been swindled out of your inheritance if I hadn’t made all the arrangements with the solicitors. What you need, boy, is a wife.”

  Maylene’s eyes snapped fully open. Oh, dear, her m
other was improvising. She shook her head, but Mama was warming to her theme.

  “That’s right, Frederick, you need a wife who will look after your household and go with you to the tailor’s, the way I used to. Why, the right wife can help you find your way about in Society, without offending all the hostesses by arriving late or without an invitation, or not showing up at all, the way you did at Lady Bricechurch’s dinner, leaving her numbers uneven.”

  “I did? I do? A wife? But…but I ain’t in the petticoat line.”

  “A man has to settle sometime,” Aunt Regina informed him. Campbell, the equally ancient bachelor, nodded vigorously.

  “A wife? Where would I find the right wife?” Shimpton asked with a whimper.

  “Right under your nose,” Lady Tremont snapped at him.

  The only thing under the cabbage-head’s nose was the perspiration on his limp upper lip. Maylene glared at her mother, who pretended to go back into her trance, consulting with Max. “Yes, Max agrees,” she said in her own normal tones. “The perfect wife for you is quite near to hand.”

  Maylene dropped that damp hand so fast Lord Shimpton’s wrist hit the table with an audible crack. He rubbed the injured member against his cheek, and whined, “I could never find the right woman without Mumsy’s help.”

  “Nonsense,” Lady Tremont told him, realizing that subtlety was wasted on a gentleman with spun sugar for brains. “My daughter will help you find a wife.”

  “Mama!” Maylene yelped, but her mother merely patted the viscount’s much-padded shoulder. “Max reminds me that dearest Maylene is excellent at finding things. That’s her talent, don’t you know.”

  If Max wasn’t already dead, Maylene thought, she’d strangle him.

  Chapter Two

  A wail pierced the silence in the Treadwell House parlor after Campbell had gone to show the guests out, past the Chinese urn. Aunt Reggie had sought her bed, and Lady Tremont sat slumped in her chair, exhausted after the evening’s efforts. This was no spectral keening, a shade moaning from the netherworld, nor a spirit protesting its disturbed slumber at the baroness’s meddling.