A Reason to Love

by Alexis Morgan

  Great, someone else who thought Spence needed help getting his head back on straight. He got up in Gage’s face. “How would you know what I need?”

  Gage stood his ground, his friendly lawman persona gone, replaced with hard-ass cop. Even so, his voice remained calm and controlled. “You might have had it worse than most, but you’re not the only one who’s been through hell and lived to tell about it. Sharing some of it with others who’ve been there, done that, and earned the fucking T-shirt might help reduce the size of that chip on your shoulder.”

  Spence hated to back down, but he did. Then he said the first thing that came to mind. “I get it, Gage. One step at a time.”

  Raising one eyebrow and looking a bit puzzled, Gage said, “Huh?”

  “That’s what the counselor told me to say to myself when things get to be too much.” He brushed some dirt off his helmet. “Despite what you’ve seen, I do try not to be a complete jackass. Maybe things will get easier once the dust settles a bit.”

  Somehow he doubted Gage believed him. He was proven right when Gage said, “Do us both a favor and keep those meetings in mind. And if you need someone to walk through the door with you the first time, give me a call. I still go once in a while.”

  Gage held out his hand for a second time. “It’s good to see you, Spence. Real good.”

  After they shook hands, Spence’s own smile felt more natural. “Thanks, Gage. It sure as shit feels strange being here after everything that happened. Seeing a few familiar faces helps. I could use a good, strong dose of normal about now.”

  He climbed back on the motorcycle. Before he put on his helmet, Gage moved in front of the bike, blocking his way. “One more thing, Spence. If I catch you ripping down the street that fast again, I’ll personally nail your ass to the wall for it. Are we clear on that?”

  Again, some things never changed. Spence had enjoyed the same kind of friendly adversarial relationship with Gage’s predecessor. “Perfectly, sir.”

  Gage waited for him to pull out onto the street before following, which forced Spence to keep to a more sedate pace. When he reached the next intersection, Gage drove up next to him in the right turn lane. He waved one last time and then drove off.

  Just for grins, Spence gunned his engine and tore across the intersection but immediately reined it back in. He could see Gage shaking his head and laughed. Having had his fun for the day, Spence headed for Gary’s Drive-In to pick up burgers, fries, and two of Gary’s amazing shakes. Probably not the easiest meal to carry on his motorcycle, but the shakes should ride all right in his saddlebags. He could prop them up with his clothes for the short distance back to Melanie’s house.

  If not, oh well. He needed to do laundry anyway.

  • • •

  Dinner in hand, Spence knocked on Melanie’s front door. As he waited for her to answer, he spotted an empty beer bottle sitting on the porch railing. There was no telling how long it had been there, but it definitely looked out of place. He tucked the two shakes he’d bought into the crook of his arm and held the bag of food with the same hand. Then he picked up the beer bottle and held it out so it was the first thing Melanie saw when she opened the door.

  Her eyes went right to it. “Come on in.”

  As he walked past her into the house, the flash of worried guilt in her expression told him he was right. The only question was which one of his friends had come calling. On second thought, he knew, because Nick and Callie had no doubt left town on their honeymoon.

  “So, what did Leif want?”

  Melanie glanced back over her shoulder. “He wanted to know how long I’d known you weren’t—”

  She cut herself off midsentence, but he knew what she’d been about to say. “I think the word you’re looking for is ‘dead,’ Mel. What did you tell him?”

  “I told him the truth. That I ran into you at the cemetery. That I thought another member of the squad the three of you served in had come for the wedding. That I was as shocked as everyone else was to find out you were back.”

  He followed her the rest of the way to the kitchen and divvied up the food. “He didn’t give you any grief, did he? Because this is between me, him, and Nick. I won’t have him hassling you.”

  She sat down and reached for her burger. “No, it wasn’t like that at all. When I didn’t show up at the reception, they eventually figured out that I had gone after you. Leif wanted to make sure you were all right. That’s pretty much the sum total of our discussion except that he asked me to tell you that he’d like to talk. You know, whenever you’re ready.”

  Yeah, like that was going to happen anytime soon. What did Leif think they had to talk about? The depth of their treachery burned straight through him. The selfish bastards had no right to be living in his house with his dog and his woman.

  As the ranting and raving inside his head wound down, he realized he’d tuned out while Melanie was trying to tell him something. The only reason he noticed now was that there was an increasing note of urgency in her voice that hadn’t been there only seconds before.

  “Spence, I said put that down and stand still while I get the paper towels!”

  What the fuck was she talking about? Before he could ask, she was back and trying to take something away from him. “Give me the cup.”

  He had to actually look down to see what she was talking about. Holy hell, he’d crushed the Styrofoam cup that had held his shake. Right now what little that was left of it was oozing through his fingers to join the rest on the table and floor.

  “Son of a bitch!”

  He grabbed a wad of paper towels from Melanie and used it to wrap up the broken chunks of Styrofoam. He carried the mess over to the trash and tossed it. Could he look any more like a crazy person?

  Struggling to sound calm when all he wanted to do was howl, he growled, “Sit and eat while I clean this up. There’s no use in letting your dinner get cold.”

  When he softened his order with a “Please,” Melanie silently handed him the roll of towels and retreated to the other side of the kitchen. He didn’t blame her for wanting to put some distance between them. Maybe he should just leave. She hadn’t signed on to put up with his rapid-fire mood swings.

  Kneeling down to wipe up the melting mess, he fought to keep his voice low and soothing. “If you want me to leave, don’t be afraid to say so.”

  Please don’t be afraid, Mel, he added silently. He couldn’t stand it if the war had changed him to the point that he couldn’t trust himself to be around innocent civilians like her.

  Her feet appeared in his peripheral vision. Good. She set the trash can down within his reach. “Did you have a chance to check out the cottage?”

  Bless her for changing the subject. This was embarrassing enough without having to discuss it. “I did. It’s perfect for what I need.”

  He looked up when she snickered. “Really, Spence? You like doilies, not to mention that lovely pink and white tile in the bathroom? Maybe the war did more damage than you thought.”

  Holy crap! Did she really just tease him about the war? Maybe he hadn’t screwed up things completely. He finished wiping up the shake and tossed the towels in the trash. “Okay, so maybe I’m not much into doilies, and the three identical sets of cat wind chimes are a bit over-the-top.”

  When she laughed, he added, “However, I have to admit that the shower curtain with the pink poodles on it is a perfect match for the tile. I can’t pass up a chance to live surrounded by such excellent taste in decor.”

  She held up her hands in surrender. “Okay, if you’re sure. We can hammer out all the details later. I’ll call the woman who cleans house for me and ask her to give the place a quick polish.”

  Spence sat down at the table and unwrapped his burger. “No need. I’m actually pretty handy with cleaning supplies.”

  “Fine, but for the sake of your reputation, yo
u should at least let me spring for a new shower curtain.”

  As she talked, she got a glass out of the cabinet and dumped half her shake in it and slid it across the table toward him. “What if your army buddies found out you were showering surrounded with all that froufrou?”

  Spence didn’t know which he wanted to protest more: that he didn’t have any buddies left who were likely to see the inside of the cottage or that she’d shared her shake with him. In the end, he settled on saying, “I think you’re just jealous of the poodles, but I’ll pick up a new one since I have to shop for a few essentials anyway. Most of my stuff is still in storage, but I don’t want to send for it until I know how long I’m going to be staying in town.”

  “Just deduct the cost from the first month’s rent.”

  The cost of a stupid shower curtain wouldn’t break him, but he didn’t want to argue the point. He held up his glass as if offering a toast to thank her for sharing. “So, what fun things did you do with your day?”

  Melanie’s smile melted away. Obviously that wasn’t the right topic of conversation. “I’m sorry. I guess I hit on a sore subject.”

  She toyed with one of her fries, using it to draw a circle in her ketchup. “No, it’s fine. I spent part of the afternoon at the office when I’d rather have had more time out in the sunshine.”

  That last part sounded like an excuse and not the real reason why she’d hated going into work on a sunny Sunday afternoon. He’d bet good money on that.

  “It must be tough dealing with your father’s death and having to take over the company at the same time. At least you grew up around the business.”

  She finally ate that poor fry. “Yeah, it’s been rough. The main problem is that I grew up around the business. I didn’t grow up in the business, if that makes sense.”

  Interesting. “But you used to work there summers just like I did.”

  Melanie’s answering sigh was filled with pure frustration. “Yeah, Dad let me work there, but the job didn’t teach me anything about running the business. All I did was file work orders and things like that. He wouldn’t even let me answer the phone.” She shrugged. “To say that he was old school when it came to the roles women should play would be to put it mildly. Dad saw it as his job to take care of Mom and me, which meant making all of the financial decisions for the family. That way we didn’t have to worry our pretty little heads about things like paying the bills.”

  Spence leaned back in his chair and studied the woman across from him. Back in high school, she’d been one of the top students. Mel had always been on the quiet side, but she’d still been a leader in their class. He seemed to remember she’d won full-ride scholarships to two top-rated liberal arts colleges, one here in Washington and the other somewhere in the East. Everyone had been surprised when she’d chosen to accept the second offer. Based on what she’d just said, maybe they shouldn’t have been.

  “I’m guessing that’s why you moved to . . . Spokane, wasn’t it?”

  She nodded. “Yes, I wanted to be close enough to visit but far enough away that I could live my own life.”

  Melanie paused to sip her shake. “I don’t mean to bad-mouth my father. He meant well, but it was a major fight when I finished my master’s degree and decided to take the job in Spokane. Both of my parents expected me to come right back here and become a clone of my mother.”

  “I’m sure he was proud of you, Melanie, even if you didn’t always see eye to eye on things.”

  “I know.” Not that she sounded convinced of that fact. “But I’m having to learn the business from the ground up. It doesn’t help that all of the bookkeeping and accounting methods he had in place are hopelessly out of date. One of the things at the top of my list is to transfer all the records to an accounting system that’s more current. I also think a lot of the machines in the plant need a major overhaul, if not actual replacement. The trouble is that we can’t afford to take any of them offline long enough to work on them. The company is barely scraping by as it is.”

  No wonder she looked a bit fragile. “Is there anything I can do? I worked part-time during the school year and full-time in the summer with old Mr. Cosgrove, the maintenance guy at the plant. Early on, I mostly handed him screwdrivers and listened to him cuss at the machines, but eventually he trusted me to do the routine stuff on my own. I’d have to read the manuals first on the newer equipment, but then I could help whoever is in charge of maintaining the machines now.”

  She laughed. “I hate to tell you, but old Mr. Cosgrove is still in charge of maintaining all of our equipment.”

  Spence was stunned. “That man was older than dirt fifteen years ago!”

  “I wouldn’t tell him that, not unless you want him to come after you with one of those big wrenches he leaves lying around the place. A year or so ago, my father hired an assistant for him, maybe in the hope the guy would eventually take over for Mr. Cosgrove. But the guy quit after only a few months, and I can’t afford to replace him right now.”

  Obviously all was not well at the Wolfe Millworks. “I don’t mean to butt into your business, but I really wouldn’t mind helping out. If Mr. Cosgrove is willing, I’d be glad to show up and give him a hand evenings or on the weekend.”

  “Don’t you have enough on your plate right now? You’ve barely gotten home.”

  “True, but it’s not like I have a lot I need to be doing. I’ll probably have to spend some time with my attorney dealing with a few things, but otherwise my schedule is pretty much wide open.”

  He stood up. “I should get going. I need to pick up a few things at the store. Thanks again for hanging out with me last night, Melanie. Tonight, too.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  He glanced down at the floor. “And I’m sorry about making such a mess. My control isn’t what it used to be.”

  Melanie came around the table to put her hand on his arm. “Cut yourself some slack, Spence. Accidents happen.”

  But it wasn’t just an accidental spill, and he knew it even if she didn’t. In his head, he hadn’t been squeezing the shit out of a cup. That had been Leif’s neck in that viselike grip. That fool should never have bothered Melanie.

  “Well, like I said, I have to hit the store to pick up a few things for tonight. I’ll do a bigger shop tomorrow after I figure out what all I need.”

  When they reached the front door, Melanie asked, “Do you want to borrow my father’s car for your shopping expedition tomorrow? I’m guessing the space in your saddlebags is pretty limited.”

  “Melanie, you’ve already done enough for me. I can make several trips if I have to.”

  The stubborn woman wasn’t having it. “What are friends for? Just let me know what you decide.”

  The offer was tempting. “Since I haven’t had a chance to make a shopping list yet, how about I call you at the office if I need the car?”

  “That’ll work. Since I’m your new landlady, you should have my cell phone number anyway.”

  After he entered the number on his cell, he gave her his in return. “I’ll leave you in peace. Don’t forget to talk to Mr. Cosgrove. I’d actually enjoy hanging out with the old coot for a while. He never let me get by with anything back when I worked there, but I learned a lot about machinery from him.”

  “I will.” She followed him outside. “Let me know if there’s anything at the cottage that needs fixing. As far as I know, all of the appliances work, but they’re pretty old.”

  That was the last thing he would do. It was obvious she was already carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She didn’t need to add him and his problems to that burden.

  “I’ll be fine, Mel.”

  At least he hoped so. Then on impulse, he leaned in to give her a quick kiss. He meant to aim for her cheek, but at the last second he couldn’t resist the temptation of those full lips. He kept it quick and fri
endly, but that didn’t lessen the impact it had on him. Melanie felt it, too, judging by the way her eyes flared wide in surprise.

  “Good night, Spence. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  There was a husky note in her voice that he hadn’t heard before. He liked it. He brushed a lock of her silky red hair back from her face. “Yes, you will.”

  Before he could do something stupid like kissing her again, he ran down the steps to where he’d parked his Harley. Giving in to the impulse to show off a bit, Spence gunned the engine and roared out of her driveway.

  He was still grinning when he arrived at his new home. For the first time in nearly a year, he had a reason to be looking forward to tomorrow.

  Chapter 8

  Leif ignored the crowd milling around him on the lower level of Sea-Tac Airport while he waited for Nick and Callie to find him in the baggage claim area. He’d volunteered to meet their flight when they returned from their honeymoon, but he hadn’t counted on their flight being over an hour late. He watched a trio of soldiers making their way through the crowd, laughing and talking as if they didn’t have a care in the world. God, had he, Nick, and Spence ever looked that young?

  He couldn’t remember.

  Unable to watch them, he did an abrupt about-face and made yet another trip down the concourse to check the list of incoming flights. Good, Nick’s flight had finally reached the gate. He and Callie should make their appearance soon.

  He hoped they’d managed to put the fiasco with Spence’s reappearance behind them long enough to enjoy their time alone. They deserved that much. Even now, a week after the wedding, Leif wanted to punch Wheels for showing up with no warning and no explanation. That effing idiot should’ve known better. Wheels could be thoughtless sometimes, but he’d never been cruel.