The Edge
of
Everything
The Third Book in the Haven Series
by Kaitlyn Oruska
This novel is a work of fiction. Any names, characters, locations or incidents resembling real persons, living or dead, are entirely coincidental.
Though Hatteras Island, North Carolina is a real location, the town of Haven is not.
The Edge of Everything – 1st Edition
©2013 Kaitlyn Oruska
All Rights Reserved
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Dedicated to everyone
who has ever wanted something more.
December 31st: New Year’s Eve
“Everything is going to be okay.”
There was a time when those words meant something, especially coming from him. I looked into his espresso-colored eyes and tried to make myself feel the same comfort I used to. More than anything else, in that moment I wanted to believe him.
He reached for my hand and I allowed him to, allowed him to lift my hand to his lips and brush them across my knuckles. Comfort washed over me, the brand of comfort only Adam could provide.
The clock on the wall told me we had just fifteen minutes left until the most complicated year of my life was over. I leaned into Adam, feeling the warmth of his body pass through mine and willing him to make everything better. He released my hand in favor of putting an arm around me, holding me securely to his side.
The night wasn’t supposed to end like this. More than that, the year wasn’t supposed to. Nothing that happened in the past few months should have happened. None of it was planned; none of it even seemed possible. And yet here we were.
“Ms. Winslow?” A doctor in a white lab coat appeared before me, his eyes tired and weary.
“That’s me,” I heard myself saying. Adam squeezed me again and I shot him a quick look of gratitude.
“You can come back now.”
I started towards him, Adam by my side. The doctor held up a hand, stopping us. “Just you,” he said. “Family only. I’m sorry.”
“He is family,” I insisted. The doctor shook his head.
I turned to Adam and he let go of me, taking my hand again and placing a kiss in the center of my palm. Memories flooded my mind, affection so strong it nearly left me unbalanced. Looking down at me now were the eyes that belonged to the boy who stole my heart three and a half years ago, not the man he’d become in the time since.
“Go ahead,” he whispered. “I’ll be here when you’re done.”
“Promise?” I whispered back, needing to know that whatever happened after I left his view, he’d still be here when I came back.
“I promise,” he said and kissed my palm once more before letting go. I turned towards the doctor, nodding my head as though I’d been asked a question. I allowed him to lead me down the hallway, turning just once to look at Adam over my shoulder. He stayed where I’d left him, smiling at me sadly.
Everything is going to be okay.
Part I
Three Months Earlier
Chapter 1
The one redeeming quality about the house on 327 Ocean Avenue was the view. The back deck overlooked the ocean, far enough away to assure a certain amount of safety in case of a storm, but close enough to make out all the little details that made Haven beautiful. I made it a point the first week we lived there to see every sunrise and sunset and so far I haven’t failed.
The paper felt heavy in my hand even though it couldn’t weigh more than an ounce or two. I crumbled it slightly and felt guilt overcome me as it wrinkled, forever damaged.
The envelope had already slipped from my fingers, drifted off the deck and landed somewhere in the sand below me. I wasn’t particularly concerned about finding it, seeing the telltale name scrawled across it, the silver sticker keeping it sealed with ‘You’re Invited!’ printed on it like it was advertising something festive.
The paper was the thick kind, card stock, and creamy white with black letters engraved on it. The words it offered were simple. I focused on the view of the setting sun, wishing I could release the invitation and let it drift off to wherever its matching envelope went. But I knew myself a little better than that. My eyes found it again, reading over the words; so simple and straightforward and yet causing my heart to beat more rapidly than a heart should.
You are cordially invited to the wedding of
Lila Dalton and Daniel Lewis
December 31st
At the Lilac Ballroom
San Francisco, California
RSVP by November 1st
No note explaining the two year absence. No quick jotting of an apology. No question as to how Harper was doing. Just an empty invitation to a wedding where she’d marry a man I’d never heard of.
Rage boiled up inside me and I crumbled the paper more, turning it into a sloppy ball and tossing it, watching as it soared through the air and filled me with regret. I was too old, too mature for this behavior. But if there was anyone who could force me to resort to acting more like my two year old daughter than my eighteen year old self, it was my parents.
“You okay?” Hannah asked from behind me. I could feel her presence, comforting in the most subtle of ways. She was always there when I needed her, even during the times I’d rather not admit needing her. I turned my head slightly so we couldn’t really see each other and nodded.
“I’m fine,” I replied, only half a lie. “I’ll be in in a minute, okay?”
“Alright,” she agreed. “Want me to get Harper ready for her bath?”
“Please.”
I heard the door slide shut behind her. Having Hannah move in was the only other redeeming factor of living here. I missed the close quarters of the guest house, strangely enough.
The truth was, we were doing great. Adam had a wonderful new job, more hours but more money. I was in school, though school still meant doing all my assignments on the computer and rarely leaving the house. Harper was as healthy and happy as any two year old girl could be; the light of my life. We had a new house, a rental, but bigger than I could have imagined for us this quickly. We were standing on our own two feet and I shouldn’t have been any happier.
But something was missing, something I couldn’t quite place. It was like I was waiting for tragedy to strike, for something bad to happen to make up for all the good we’ve been experiencing. Mason laughed it off and insisted the good was simply making up for the past bad, but I didn’t buy it.
A light went on in the house next door and I nearly jumped out of my skin. 329 Ocean Avenue had been empty since we moved in nearly three months earlier, at the beginning of July. My first thought was that a homeless person snuck in and took over, but Haven barely had any homeless people. The light turned off and my nerves slowly calmed. I was making something out of nothing.
I turned back to my house and stepped in through the sliding glass doors, trying to ignore the feeling of discomfort as I took in my surroundings. The open floor plan greeted me; the living room, dining room and kitchen all blending into one. Adam had been so impressed by this house.
The bedrooms were all upstairs, four total. The smallest one was the size of the closets in most
Haven homes and Adam used it for an office. The biggest bedroom was ours, equipped with a bathroom inside. Hannah’s room was second biggest, also with a bathroom, though hers didn’t have a Jacuzzi tub. And then finally there was Harper’s, smaller than ours but not quite small. We’d painted it pink even though her favorite color was blue. I walked up the steps for what had to be the thousandth time since we’d moved in.
I ducked into the hall bathroom where Hannah was struggling to put a flailing Harper in the water. “I’ll make it quick, I promise!” She was shouting, desperate and panicked. I leaned against the doorframe, watching the scene with amusement.
Hannah lived with us rent free with the agreement she’d help out with Harper. It was an agreement that worked for all of us, since she only had part-time hours at the local movie theater and couldn’t afford to live on her own.
“I’m glad you think this is funny,” she snapped, glaring at me. “Why does she hate water so much?”
“Why don’t you ask her?” I asked, rolling the sleeves of my shirt up and stepping into the bathroom. “I’ll take over.”
“Damn right you will,” Hannah grumbled, handing me Harper and stomping out of the bathroom. We watched her go with our heads pressed together, strawberry blonde mixed with dark brown, letting out similar laughs.
“Aunt Hannah is silly, huh?” I asked, kissing her temple and turning back to the bath. “Let’s get this over with so we can get a snack and go to bed, okay?”
“Mama, no,” Harper whined, shaking her head. She started to pout and I prepared myself for the inevitable waterworks that would follow. She hated bath time and all the toys and bribes in the world didn’t change that.
“Baby, yes,” I said, my voice loving but stern. “If you don’t get a bath, you can’t have a snack.”
Her pout deepened and she let out a scream of protest as I lowered her into the water. She looked up at me with wide violet eyes full of sorrow and betrayal. I grinned at her through my heartbreak and gently wiped her head with a wet washcloth, our compromise to wetting her hair.
Harper hated water and I didn’t know why. She didn’t even like swimming at the beach. All summer it had been Adam and I in the water while Hannah and Harper stayed behind on the beach towel, sleeping or building what they claimed to be sand castles. I smiled at the glimpses of memory, wishing they didn’t feel like a lifetime ago.
“This isn’t so bad, huh?” I asked soothingly as I rubbed some lavender scented baby shampoo into her hair. She continued to pout, not willing to give me the satisfaction of an answer. I smiled at her and continued with the shampooing, using a cup of water to rinse it out when I was done.
I finished bathing her in five minutes, doing everything as quickly as I could to eliminate as much grouchiness as possible. By the time I was done her eyes were drooping and she was left with little interest in a snack. I kissed her forehead and carried her to bed, tucking her in and hurrying out of the room before she could notice my absence.
“I’m never having kids,” Hannah reminded me as I stepped off the last step into the living room. “She’s cute, but she’s such a terror when she has to do something she doesn’t want to.”
“She’s not that bad,” I insisted. “And besides, she gets that from her aunt.”
Hannah smirked. “Whatever. I’m hungry. Can we order pizza?”
“Why are you asking my permission?” I asked, walking to the cabinets and opening them up, searching for food. I’d fed Harper dinner hours ago but decided to wait for Adam before I ate, only to receive a call half an hour later saying he was working late and didn’t know when he’d be getting home. Harper liked to play between dinner and bedtime, so I hadn’t gotten the chance to eat anything since noon.
“Because I need your money to make that pizza happen,” she replied with a sly grin. I rolled my eyes but felt my lips tugging into a smile. Hannah was a trip if nothing else.
“What happened to yours?”
“Gone.” She made a ‘poof’ motion with her hands. I wasn’t surprised. Hannah was the worst with money.
“Go ahead,” I said, closing the cabinet and making a mental note to go grocery shopping the next day. Hannah would gladly live off of pizza, but I wasn’t too keen on the idea. I plopped onto the couch while she dialed the number, turning on the TV and trying not to stare at the clock. It was fifteen after eight.
Chapter 2
I was just drifting off to sleep when the bedroom door opened, a sliver of light coming in from the hallway. “Are you asleep?” Adam whispered.
“Yes,” I murmured, snugging deeper into my pillow and wishing for the heavy feeling of sleep to return. It had to be close to midnight. I’d waited up until eleven and when it was clear Adam wasn’t coming home anytime soon I’d relented and gone to bed, leaving Hannah on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and a movie that didn’t catch my interest.
“You are not,” he said with a chuckle. He shut the door, making the light disappear. I blinked, my eyes once again adjusting to the darkness. I pulled myself up on my elbows and tried to make out his shadow in the dark.
“Are you just now getting home?”
“Yeah,” he said with a sigh. “We had about three meetings today, so I had to keep putting off a lot of the stuff I needed to get done. Then around seven Henry ordered some food and we ended up having a sort of office party.”
Adam had been approached by Henry Reeves about six months ago with a job offer. Henry had been planning on expanding his seafood business, shipping nationwide instead of just local, and he thought Adam was the perfect person for the job of figuring out the shipping details. Adam had to take a few classes and get his freight broker’s license and in June he started work for Reeves Seafood. The pay was almost double what he’d been making at his uncle’s company and although he worked longer hours than he had before, he seemed to enjoy it. I was happy for him, though frustrated with his frequent absence.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said, sounding tired and weary. “You can call anyone from work and ask them about it.”
“I wouldn’t do that,” I said, though the thought had crossed my mind. I hated being that way. Adam’s infidelity had been two years earlier and most of the time I was over it. It was on the nights he worked late and couldn’t always contact me that got me back to worrying he was out somewhere with someone else.
“I wouldn’t mind,” he said, but I could tell by the tone of his voice that he would. I leaned over and turned on the lamp next to my side of the bed, covering the room with pale yellow light.
If Adam had been good-looking before, he was close to breathtaking now. Henry insisted he wear a suit to work every day even though he rarely had to deal with customers directly, and I had to say I didn’t mind. He’d taken his jacket off and now stood before me with a white shirt and a loosened red tie, his short hair messy and a few days’ worth of stubble on his face. His dark eyes met mine, a hint of amusement in them.
“Why do you look at me like that?” He asked, tilting his head to the side and studying me.
“Like what?”
“Like you’ve never seen me before.”
I laughed and leaned back into the pillows, continuing to watch him as he loosened his tie more and took it off, tossing it onto a chair in the corner. The house had come fully furnished. It was a little weird at first, knowing we were sitting and sleeping on furniture that had been used by dozens of people before us, but I got over it quickly. It beat having to pick out and purchase new furniture.
“You mean checking you out?” I asked.
“Is that what you’re doing?” He asked, shooting me his signature smile. “I don’t think you’re doing it right, if it is.”
“Yeah? Well I don’t exactly have a lot of experience.”
“That’s true,” he remarked, unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it on top of his tie. “I only had to corner you on the beach at night to get you to talk to me.”
“Come here,” I said, stretching
my arms out. He walked over to the bed, practically collapsing beside me. I put my arms around him, kissing the top of his head. He closed his eyes and sighed.
“I’m so tired,” he murmured. “I don’t even feel like getting a shower.”
“Then don’t,” I said. “At least you don’t have to play with the fish all day.”
He let out a small chuckle. “You got that right. I’d be back to fixing and building houses in no time.”
“Do you miss it?” I asked, feeling my heartbeat race a little. I missed it, but not enough to tell him in fear he’d react badly. He was on edge a lot of the time, something I attributed to the stress of having a brand new, very demanding job on top of the added expenses of renting our own house. There were times when I wasn’t sure any of this was worth it, but Adam seemed dead-set and I didn’t want to rock the boat.
“Construction?” He asked. “Hell no. I’ll take my office job over that any day.”
“You just work a lot more is all,” I said softly. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” He lifted his head and kissed me quickly on the lips. “I only have to go in for a few hours tomorrow. I’ll try to get home in time to take you out to dinner, okay? If Hannah has plans I’ll get my mom to watch Harper.”
My heart slowed enough to sink. Adam working weekends was becoming part of the normal schedule, another aspect of his new job I didn’t like. I knew Henry had given him an amazing opportunity and was more than fair when it came to his pay and benefits, but I still hated having him gone so much. The fact Henry was treating him like a replacement with Nolan didn’t help, either.
But we didn’t talk about that. Nolan was a name that was never mentioned under this roof, regardless of the situation.
“Promise?” I asked weakly. He flashed me the smile that stole my heart more than three years ago.
“Promise,” he confirmed and I had no choice but to believe him. He slid out of bed and walked towards the bathroom, our conversation apparently over. I watched him disappear behind the closed door and sighed to myself.
The Edge of Everything (The Haven Series) Page 1