I hadn’t even gotten a chance to tell him about my mother’s wedding invitation. I doubted we would go; it was New Year’s Eve, after all. But it would be nice to hear his opinion, receive some support. I was still shaken up about it, though I didn’t fully understand why.
I tried to stay awake, listening to the sounds of the water running, but eventually lost the battle. Harper liked to get me up early in the morning and between caring for her, getting my schoolwork done and missing Adam, I was exhausted.
Chapter 3
There was a time when I didn’t like going to Bella Vista. It was too full of too many memories, too few of them good. Now I looked forward to the hours I could spend there, away from Ocean Avenue and the life that was leading me instead of the other way around.
I’d had my doubts when Mason and Cynthia got a loan from her father to purchase it after our dad ran off to Las Vegas. It seemed like too much too soon, going from helping to run it to owning it within two years, especially since Cynthia was continuing her career as an elementary school teacher. But it was what Mason wanted and if there was one thing I’d learned about my older brother, it was that he was pretty much capable of anything.
I tucked Harper into bed next to a sleeping Cynthia and ducked out of their bedroom, down the hallway and into the kitchen where Mason was at the table, waiting for me. “All good?” He asked.
“All good,” I confirmed, reclaiming my seat across from him and shooting him a smile. It was our normal Saturday ritual. I’d come over around lunchtime and we’d eat together, then put Harper down for a nap and talk for a while. Usually Cynthia would be with us, but she was nearing her fifth month of pregnancy with twins and tended to nap whenever she could.
“Refill?” Mason offered, nodding towards my mostly empty glass of apple juice. I nodded and slid it across the table to him, watching as he carried it over to the fridge and refilled it. Déjà vu washed over me, the scene so similar to the one two years earlier, right before seeing Natalie that first time.
I shook my head, forcing the memories out. Adam had done what he’d done and he’d spent just about every day since finding some new way to make up for his mistake. I could sit back and dwell on it or I could focus on how his infidelity helped our relationship. Adam knew what he could lose and I needed to hold onto hope that fear of losing us would be enough.
Mason returned to the table with the juice and sighed as he sunk back into his chair. I looked up at him, hoping the concern wasn’t evident in my eyes. I worried about my big brother frequently. There were a lot of big changes in his life, a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. If anyone could handle it all with an extraordinary amount of grace it was Mason, but I still worried. He was too used to being the one to help solve my problems and he often put aside his own.
“A lot on your mind?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he admitted, flashing me a small smile. “Cyn said they might be able to find out the genders at our next appointment.”
I felt my face light up with a smile, more genuine than one I’d had in a while. Cynthia’s pregnancy news had been exciting, even more so when we found out she was having twins. The pregnancy hadn’t necessarily been planned, but Mason admitted it hadn’t been prevented, either. They’d known when they decided to get married that they wanted to start a family and while doing so right after obtaining a bed and breakfast at the start of the busiest season wasn’t ideal, it was manageable. And they were doing pretty well.
“Any guesses?” I asked.
“Nah,” Mason said, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter much. Cyn isn’t even sure she wants to find out.”
“That’s fun,” I said. “What are you going to do about a nursery?”
“Her dad offered to give us the money to break down the wall between the two rooms upstairs, towards the back. Make it kind of a bigger room with a built-in nursery. I’m not sure we’re taking him up on it, though. It would work for a few years but when they’re older they won’t want to share a bedroom inside their parent’s room.”
“Maybe not,” I agreed. “But it would work for now, right? By the time they’re older you might not even have to live here anymore. You did great over the summer.”
“You’re too optimistic,” he said with a strained smile. “We did well but we gave plenty of it back to her dad. The last thing I want is to be in debt to him forever.”
Mason didn’t talk much about his father-in-law and they didn’t seem to have a troubled relationship, but I knew Mason had difficulty with accepting anything from anyone. He liked being the one people leaned on.
“Hear from Dad lately?” He asked, changing the subject. Our father decided to sell the bed and breakfast about six months earlier, out of the blue. He declared there was nothing left for him in Haven since his marriage with Nora hadn’t worked out and he hadn’t found anyone else to share his life with. Mason jumped up with the offer to purchase it before it could even make it to market and our dad left days after settlement, Las Vegas his destination. Our communication had been minimal since and the last I heard he was dating a ‘dancer’ named Serena and it was apparently serious. Considering my father was the type of man that married every woman he dated, I tended to believe this.
“No,” I said. “But I heard from Lila.”
Mason’s eyebrows shot up so far I was afraid they’d never find their way back down. “What?” He asked, astonished.
“Yep,” I said. “She sent me a wedding invitation. She’s marrying some man named Daniel on New Year’s Eve.”
“Are you going?” Mason asked.
“No,” I said, frowning. “Of course not. Why would I?”
“Because she’s your mother.”
“Hardly.”
“Hardly, but she is,” he insisted. “At least think about it, okay? Not for her, but for you. It could be the start of reconciliation.”
“No,” I said sternly, sending him a look that should have ended the conversation right then and there. Mason claimed I was the optimistic one, yet he was the one always insisting my relationship with Lila could be fixed.
“Whatever you say,” he conceded with a sigh. “But I still think you should consider it. You’re a mom now. Doesn’t that change anything?”
“Yes,” I replied. “I look at Harper and can’t imagine leaving her for a weekend, let alone fifteen years.”
“Not the point I was trying to make.”
“The point you’re trying to make is invalid.”
He held up his hands in defeat. “Okay, okay! I get it. Lila isn’t being forgiven anytime soon and she can get married by herself. Think she’ll have any more kids?”
My eyes narrowed as I considered the possibility. She was about thirty-eight, maybe thirty-nine now, so the likelihood of more children seemed slim. But I wouldn’t put it past her. “I hope not,” I said.
“Same. So is Adam coming home any time this year?” There was sarcasm laced in his words and I opted to ignore it. Mason wasn’t a fan of Adam and I’d accepted that he never would be.
“He’ll be home in a few hours,” I said. “We’re going out to dinner. Julia’s going to watch Harper for us.”
“Hm,” he said. “What’s up with that, anyway? You two seemed pretty close before Harper was born, not so much after.”
“Lila happened,” I said, my tone grim. Understanding dawned in my brother’s eyes, the same sky blue shade as mine. Our father’s eyes.
“Gotcha,” he said. “I guess I can stop trying to offer you advice now, huh?”
“Pretty much,” I said with a smile. “Unless you want to offer some advice on where I should tell Adam to take me tonight.”
“I think I’ll have to pass on that one,” he said with a wink.
Chapter 4
“Don’t you think this is a little much?” I asked, glancing at our surroundings. When Adam pulled into one of the newest and fanciest restaurants in Haven, I’d been both surprised and a little disappointed.
“No,�
�� he said with a calm smile. “Nothing’s too much for my girl.”
“Thanks,” I said dryly, lifting a champagne flute full of sparkling water to my lips and studying him over the brim. He looked good, but that was nothing unusual. Still unshaven, but I was getting used to that. In fact, I was starting to like it.
“What are you getting?” He asked, putting his menu down and focusing his espresso brown eyes on me. “I think I’m going for a steak.”
“Salad,” I replied. “It’s the only thing on the menu we can afford if we want to make rent next month.”
He chuckled. “Quit it, Lainey. I have a confession to make.”
I felt my stomach drop, always expecting the worse. I placed the champagne flute back on the table and waited, hands clasped together on my lap.
“I’m not actually paying for this dinner tonight,” he said, giving me a hesitant look.
“You’re not?” I asked. “Are we dining and dashing?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “Of course not. Henry gave me money for it. He’s thinking about offering a contract to this place, get them away from his rival up north, but you know Henry. He wants to make sure it’s going to live up to the Reeves name.”
“Hm,” I said, grabbing the flute and drowning myself in the rest of the water, wishing it was something a little stronger. I’d never actually had alcohol before, but if my feelings towards Adam’s new job didn’t suppress themselves soon, I might be tempted to try.
“I’m just trying to make a good impression,” he said, his voice slightly wounded.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Fair enough. The waiter returned, looking like he belonged as a butler in a TV show more than a restaurant in real life and took our orders. I got chicken cordon bleu, almost as expensive as Adam’s steak.
“I think Harper’s going to be potty trained within the month,” I announced when the waiter walked away. Adam blinked.
“What?”
“You know Harper, right? She’s two years old, dark hair, looks exactly like you?”
His eyes hardened and I knew I’d taken it a step too far. I was happy for Adam. Happy he’d found a job he actually liked, happy he’d become more of a man than a boy. But while he was growing as a man, he was fading as a father and supposed husband-to-be.
“I know what you’re talking about. I just don’t know why you’re talking about it here.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled, staring at the tablecloth and wishing I could be anywhere but there. I wondered what Hannah was doing, on a date herself, probably at a pizza place or burger shop. It was funny how I knew if given the opportunity, we would switch. Hannah longed for nights out at fancy restaurants while I longed for normalcy, something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Then again, I wasn’t sure I’d ever experienced it.
“Let’s not do this tonight, okay?” He reached across the table for my hand and I allowed him to take it. It had only been three and a half months. He was still adjusting. He wanted to make a good impression on Henry and his coworkers and once he felt more permanent he’d let up on all the hours he was working. He’d be around more.
“I’m not doing anything,” I said. “So are you working tomorrow or do I get to keep you for the entire day?”
“I’m not working,” he said, giving my hand a quick squeeze before pulling away. He touched the collar of his dress shirt, fixing it though there was nothing wrong with it. A nervous habit. My mind came up with at least twelve different reasons why he would be nervous right now.
“Can we do something, then?” I asked. “As a family?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. We could go to the beach? The park? It doesn’t matter. I think Harper needs a day with both of us. I’m pretty sure I get boring after a while.”
“We’ll see,” he said. “Not so sure about the beach, though. It’s October. It’s probably cold as hell down there.”
“Hell wouldn’t be cold,” I corrected him and was promptly greeted with another blink followed by a blank stare. We needed to work on our communication.
As much as I felt neglected and maybe even unwanted lately, I never let myself forget how lucky I was. When Harper celebrated her second birthday we celebrated three years together. Sure there were a few months when we weren’t so sure we were going to make it, but those months felt like a lifetime ago.
Our food came and I poked at mine while waiting for it to cool down, watching as Adam immediately dug into his. With the way he ate you’d think I never fed him, which was partially true. I couldn’t remember the last family dinner we’d had.
I opened my mouth to tell him about Lila’s invitation but stopped myself before the words could escape. Adam would side with me on my decision not to attend, but he wouldn’t understand my confliction over it. There was no way I would actually go or even contact her to let her know I wouldn’t be going, but that didn’t mean the decision was necessarily an easy one. In fact, it hurt.
“So what’s the verdict?” I asked as I cut my food into tiny pieces.
“I think we’ll go with this place,” he declared, looking up at me with the closest thing to a genuine smile I’d seen from him all night.
Chapter 5
“He’s a writer,” Hannah announced, plopping down across from me at the kitchen table. I didn’t glance up from the paper I’d been trying to write all morning.
“Who?” I asked, uninterested but obligated. I added another sentence, pulling it from the depths of my mind, before saving the document and closing the laptop. The paper was due Friday. It was already Wednesday and there was little chance it would actually be good.
“Our new neighbor,” she said with a sly grin. I knew that grin all too well. It said ‘I’ve met someone and he’s interesting and maybe interested.’ She had a boyfriend, had been dating him for the past eight months, but that didn’t matter much to her. Hannah refused to settle that easily.
“We have a new neighbor?” I asked, the light in the house next door flashing through my mind. I’d completely forgotten about it until now.
“We do,” she confirmed. “And he’s hot, Lainey. Like seriously hot. If I didn’t already have dibs on him I’d tell Adam to be worried.”
I rolled my eyes. “Okay, Hannah. Good to know. How did you meet him?”
“I knocked on his door,” she said with a shrug. “I noticed the lights were on and there was a car – a classic sports car, by the way – in the driveway so I went to investigate. He’s single and a few years older so I’m thinking of going for it.”
“And Jared?” I prompted, resting my chin in my hand and studying my stepsister’s face. A flash of hurt crossed her eyes briefly, but disappeared before I could think too much about it.
“Jared wants me to move in with him,” she said. “I think that pretty much sped up our impending breakup.”
I was only a little surprised. Jared loved Hannah; adored her, really. And he treated her well, better than anyone else had. She’d dated pretty frequently after moving back to Haven the summer before senior year, not stopping until she met him. There was a period of time where I’d believed she’d finally met her match, but I could see her interest fading over the past few months. Jared wasn’t the one for her and even if he was, she wasn’t ready for the one.
“Just be careful,” I advised. “What’s his name and what does he write?”
“Declan James and mysteries.” She grabbed my laptop, opening it and typing something before spinning it around again. “Isn’t he hot?”
The picture she presented me was of a young man, Adam’s age, maybe a little older. He was clean shaven with light brown hair, a little longish and falling into his eyes, which were a surprising shade of light blue. He was cute, I had to admit.
“Sure,” I replied and she made a face at me. Hannah wanted me to approach life with the same passion she had, something I wasn’t sure I was capable of.
“Forgot you�
��re practically married,” she mumbled, taking the laptop back and continuing to read the page she’d found the picture on. “He’s twenty-three, not married, and the author of two books. Apparently he’s working on his third.” She looked up at me, her eyes wide. “What if I inspire him to create his best character yet?” She asked excitedly. “I could be famous!”
“You’re a character alright,” I agreed with a grin. She stuck her tongue out and turned her attention back to her cyber stalking. I shook my head and leaned back in the chair, surprised by how tired I was. It was just four in the afternoon.
“Mama?” I turned around to find Harper standing in the middle of the living room, rubbing her eyes sleepily. I winced as I realized I’d let her oversleep for the third time that week. I silently cursed my paper for being due and my attention span for not being what it used to be.
“Yeah baby?”
“I’m hungry.”
“Okay,” I said, standing up and walking over to her, kneeling so we were eye level. “What do you want for dinner?”
“Cookies?” She suggested, flashing me a small smile that reminded me so much of Adam it made my heart ache. I swallowed against a lump in my throat and smoothed her hair away from her eyes. You would think looking at Harper would be painful at times, her looks a combination of the person who’d hurt me the most and the person most capable of hurting me, but it wasn’t. I saw both of them in her on a daily basis but more than that, I just saw her. My beautiful little girl.
“After dinner,” I promised. “Hot dogs and macaroni and cheese?” It was her favorite, a surefire way of receiving a yes.
“Okay,” she agreed and wrapped her arms around my neck, indicating she wanted to be carried. I lifted her and took her to the kitchen, holding her against my hip in one arm while I got the pots and pans out and ready with the other. Sometimes I amazed myself with how much I was able to get done at once.
“Make that two orders,” Hannah called over her shoulder, still focused on her research. “I kind of skipped lunch.”
The Edge of Everything (The Haven Series) Page 2