“I heard from Lila,” I heard myself saying as we pulled the blankets back and climbed into bed. Adam stopped in his tracks and stared at me, eyebrows raised.
“What?”
“About a week and a half ago. She’s getting married on New Year’s Eve. She sent me an invitation.” It dawned on me for the first time that I’d been the only person listed. She probably assumed Adam and I hadn’t made it.
“And you’re just now telling me?” He looked annoyed, maybe even angry. I bit back a sigh and nodded as I climbed into bed, waiting for him to follow my lead.
“I didn’t want to burden you,” I replied.
“Telling me important details about what’s going on in your life isn’t burdening me.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
He nodded and finally climbed into bed, pulling the covers up over his chest and staring at the ceiling. I followed his gaze, wishing I could see whatever he saw.
“Are you going?”
“Of course not.” The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind, yet I felt myself tense up, preparing for how I’d respond if Adam offered to go with me. Would I accept? Deep down I thought maybe I would.
“Good,” he said. I swallowed my disappointment and moved closer to him, resting my head against his shoulder and letting his familiarity flow through me.
“I love you,” I whispered. He kissed my forehead as if on autopilot.
“I love you too,” he whispered back. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much lately. I’m still settling in, trying to make a good impression. Once I’ve convinced myself Henry isn’t going to kick me out of the company, I’ll make it a point to come home on time.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I’ve been keeping busy with Harper and school and hanging out with Mason and Cynthia.”
“Do they know yet, what they’re having?”
“Next week,” I replied. “I think Cynthia is kind of nervous to find out, like I was. More nervous than Mason.”
He nodded, a faraway look in his eyes. I studied his face, taking in all of his features as though to memorize them. He still looked the same most of the time. Despite the constant stubble on his cheeks and the tired look in his eyes, he was still Adam.
“Do you ever think about having more kids?” He asked, catching me by surprise.
“Sometimes,” I replied. “Do you?”
“Yeah,” he said, smiling down at me. “Especially now that Harper is older and we’re doing good with money and everything, not getting any help from my parents.”
I raised an eyebrow. It was surprising to me that he would consider extending our family any time soon, considering he was rarely even home.
“What?” He asked. “You don’t think it might be good for Harper to have someone to play with all the time?”
“I guess,” I admitted slowly. “Hannah has two boyfriends right now, so maybe we’ll get lucky and she’ll end up with three cousins instead of two.”
Adam didn’t laugh and things soon started to feel awkward. He turned the light off, filling the room with darkness. I closed my eyes, thinking he was going to sleep without continuing the conversation.
“Lainey?” He said a few minutes later, his voice sounding far away.
“Yeah?”
“I’ll love you forever.”
“I’ll love you forever too,” I promised.
Chapter 11
“I don’t think Declan is interested,” Hannah complained as we made our way down Main Street. It was Saturday again, and a beautiful one at that. Adam was supposed to be off all weekend but was called into the office around seven that morning. Hannah didn’t have plans and after reminding me of this at least twenty-seven times, she decided we should go for a walk downtown.
“Mama, I’m tired,” Harper complained, tugging at my hand to let me know she wanted to be carried.
“It’s Aunt Hannah’s turn to carry you,” I reminded her gently, receiving a glare from Hannah.
“If you’re going to make me lug your kid all around town, the least you can do is pretend to be listening to me,” she whined. She lifted Harper off the ground with a grunt and stomped ahead of me. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I followed her.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” I reasoned. “Did you break up with Jared yet?”
“No,” she said grudgingly.
“Why not?” I pressed. “If you have feelings for someone else, he deserves to know.”
“I don’t know if I have feelings for someone else,” she retorted. “At least, I don’t know if they’re mutual. I’m not going to risk a perfectly good relationship for someone that might not even like me.”
There were a dozen things wrong with that statement, but I opted not to point them out to her. Hannah always needed to make her own mistakes, learn from them.
“Jared’s a good guy,” I said after a few minutes of awkward silence. She turned around and looked at me, a flicker of hurt in her jade green eyes.
“I know he is,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean he’s the right guy for me.”
“Then break up with him.”
“It’s not that simple.”
From where I stood, it was that simple. Hannah might have been with Jared longer than she’d been with anyone, but there was nothing really holding them together. For the briefest of moments I felt envious of her; having the option to leave if she wanted, move on and carve a new life for herself. But one look at Harper’s face and that feeling dissipated.
“I just don’t think it’s fair to him,” I continued, though I knew I was digging myself into a hole. “If you’re not in love with him, maybe it’s better if you end things before he falls even more in love.”
“Why does everything have to be about love all the time?” She complained, stopping when a window display caught her eye. She ducked inside the small boutique, leaving me with the choice to wait outside for hours or follow her. I followed.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “But everything usually comes down to that.”
“Maybe it shouldn’t.” She adjusted Harper on her hip and reached for a dress hanging on a rack, stroking the material in awe. “This dress is awesome. Now all I need is money and a date to go with it.”
“I’ll make you a deal,” I said, speaking before I allowed myself to think through my plan. “I’ll buy you that dress if you either stop pursuing Declan or end things with Jared.”
Hannah shot me an annoyed look, but I could tell she was considering my offer. “Why do you care so much?” She asked. “If I remember correctly, you’ve been torn between two lovers half your life.”
“I have not,” I argued, grabbing the dress off the rack and raising my eyebrows at it. It was definitely Hannah, knee length and a shade of red only she could pull off. I admitted to myself she would look amazing in it and it could be worth the ridiculous number printed on the tag.
“I know.” She sighed and shifted Harper again. “It’s just that neither option sounds great. I mean, on one hand Declan is new and mysterious, but he’s a writer and he spends entirely too much time at his computer. Jared isn’t exactly Mr. Excitement either, but at least he takes me places.”
“He said he isn’t that guy,” I said absently, shifting through the rack and trying to find something I might want to wear at some point. Nothing caught my eye and even if it did, it wouldn’t matter. The dinner two weeks before was a rarity with Adam and me. I had no way of knowing when he’d get around to having time for a date again.
“What?” Hannah asked, looking confused. “Who said that?”
“Declan,” I said. “He told me he knows you have a boyfriend and he’s ‘not that guy.’ I’m assuming he means he isn’t going to cheat with you or steal you from Jared.”
Hannah made a face and for a second I wasn’t sure I’d made the right decision in telling her. Then she sighed and shook her head, looking at Harper. “I guess that makes my decision a little easier,” she said with a small smile.
Harper beamed at her and she laughed softly, kissing her on the forehead.
I carried Hannah’s dress to the front of the store, satisfied that she’d made a decision and yet feeling guilty. All of that flew out the window when I saw who was behind the counter.
“Well, what a surprise,” Maggie Whittingham said sarcastically, sneering at me from underneath half a pound of makeup. “Fancy meeting you here.”
“Shut up Maggie,” Hannah said, coming up behind me. She grabbed the dress out of my hands and pushed Harper into my arms, stomping towards the counter. “Just ring this up and don’t say a word, okay?”
“Are you sure you can afford this?” Maggie asked, widening her eyes with fake innocence. “Last I heard Miss Hannah Gordon was working at the movie theater, not even enrolled in school.”
“I have a famous writer boyfriend, if you need to know,” Hannah snapped. “Declan James, have you heard of him? Oh, I forgot: that would require knowing how to read.” She shot Maggie a sickeningly sweet smile. Maggie glowered at her.
I sighed and stepped up next to Hannah, struggling to hold onto Harper while reaching into her diaper bag for my wallet. I pulled the debit card out and slid it across the counter. “Just ring the dress up, Maggie.”
She rolled her eyes but swiped the card, handing me the receipt and sliding the dress towards us, not bothering to bag it. “How’s Adam been?” She asked. I noticed she was careful not to look at Harper. I couldn’t blame her, really. Harper was living proof of what she’d lost and who she lost it to. I allowed myself to be an immature eighteen year old girl long enough to enjoy the feeling that came with that.
“He’s great,” I said with a smile. “I’ll be sure to tell him you were asking about him.”
“Oh, please do.” She smiled brightly, her eyes locking onto mine. “After all, I did hear rumors that he has a thing for ex-girlfriends.”
I felt my entire body freeze and Harper moved closer to me, pressing her cheek against mine. It was something she did whenever she sensed I was upset, like she could transfer her own happiness into me through our skin. I felt my face grow pale despite her warmth and watched in alarm as Hannah began to ball her hand into a fist.
“Hannah, don’t,” I whispered. “She’s not worth it. Let’s just go.” The last thing poor Harper needed to see was her aunt punching some random store clerk in the face.
Hannah seemed to consider her options for a moment, finally picking up the dress and shooting Maggie one last glare before storming out of the store. I managed to find the strength to follow her, feeling my arch enemy’s eyes burning into my back as we left.
“Ignore her,” Hannah said with a sigh once we were a few feet away from the store. “She’s just jealous Adam picked you over her. Pretty pathetic that it’s been three and a half years and she isn’t over it yet.”
“Yeah,” I agreed softly, though I wasn’t so sure ignoring her was the best way to handle this. Her words jarred me and I couldn’t very well avoid the feelings that followed what she’d said. After all, I did hear rumors that he has a thing for ex-girlfriends.
I had to believe we could go back to the beginning, end this story the way it was meant to end. More than anything else, I had to believe Adam was still the same person I’d fallen in love with, that I was still the same girl. I had to believe in us because if I stopped, I had no idea where my future was headed.
Chapter 12
Adam came home around five and just as he was getting in the shower, Jared arrived.
I had to admit it was good to see him. He brought pizza, a nice gesture though I suspected he might be using it as his foot in the door. Hannah had been avoiding him since Declan moved in next door and I was sure he suspected something.
Hannah and Jared’s relationship was by far the healthiest and most normal one she’d ever involved herself in, but it hadn’t exactly started off that way. Jared had gotten a student teaching job the second semester of our senior year and was in one of Hannah’s classes. It was love at first sight, she used to claim. Their attraction was undeniable and there was nothing keeping them from each other. They began dating and somehow managed not to get caught.
I think that disappointed Hannah to some degree. Her interest in Jared started to fade as summer progressed, with no risk of being caught and little chance anyone would care if they were. They’d once had the possibility of being the biggest scandal to hit Haven in ages and now they were just a normal young couple having fun and hoping for the future.
“This is a surprise!” I said when I opened the door and found him standing there, two pizza boxes in hand. I was relieved Hannah had vetoed her idea of going to Declan’s and giving it ‘one last try.’
“I figured it’s a Saturday night, no chance of you guys doing anything,” Jared said with a wink. “Where’s my girl?”
“Around here somewhere,” I replied, taking the boxes from him and carrying them into the kitchen. “I’m always losing everyone around here.”
“I meant Harper,” he said with a grin. I was reminded of why Hannah hadn’t been able to resist him in the first place. Jared had dark hair, hazel eyes and a contagious smile. He was a few inches shorter than Adam and in decent shape, though he didn’t have the surfer physique Hannah tended to look for in the guys she dated.
“She’s wherever your other girl is,” I said, taking plates out and arranging them around the table. “They’re inseparable lately.”
“Mind if I go look?”
“Not at all.” He disappeared through the sliding glass doors just as Adam came down the steps, his hair wet and messy, wearing a pair of lounge pants, shirt in hand.
“Are you talking to yourself?” He asked, looking partly amused and partly concerned.
“No,” I laughed. “Jared’s here and he brought pizza.”
Adam looked anything but happy. He didn’t dislike Jared, just had little interest in him. “Aren’t you hungry?”
“Yeah, but I was also hoping we’d get a chance to be alone for a few seconds,” he muttered, sliding the shirt over his head and running a hand through his hair, smoothing it. He’d gotten it cut again and barely even needed to brush it to keep it in place. Unlike Declan’s hair, which was somewhere between long and short and seemed forever messy.
The sliding glass door opened before I could respond and Harper came running in, throwing herself around Adam’s leg. Hannah followed close behind, holding Jared’s hand and beaming. Jared must have found the right words to win her over again.
I put pizza on plates and poured soda into glasses and eventually everyone gathered around the table, Harper on Hannah’s lap. I cut her slice into tiny bite-sized pieces and sat across from her so I could monitor her carefully and make sure she didn’t choke. Hannah was always claiming I was paranoid, but with the way she was, Harper could get away with nearly anything.
“Good to see you again, Adam,” Jared said once we were all settled.
“You too,” Adam said with a tight smile. “Been working a lot?”
“Yeah, it looks like I might be getting a full-time position in the next few months. I’m hoping it pans out, this substitute stuff sucks.”
“Yeah,” Adam agreed, staring at his slice of pizza with disinterest. There was something on his mind, but it was getting harder for me to read him. I reached under the table and squeezed his knee, getting little more than a glance in return.
“Well today was interesting,” Hannah announced, taking over the conversation before anyone else could add a thing. I shot her a warning look but she ignored it, grinning at me instead.
“Oh?” Jared looked genuinely interested. I couldn’t remember the last time Adam looked at me like that.
“Guess who works at that new little boutique downtown?”
“There’s a new little boutique downtown?” Adam asked.
Hannah rolled her eyes. “Yeah. And thanks for the dress, by the way.” She winked at Jared. “You have to take me out for a proper date soon so I can get some
use out of it, by the way. But anyway, Maggie Whittingham. I was so shocked when I saw her. She like, disappeared after she graduated.”
Maggie had been a year ahead of us in school, meaning Hannah’s senior year had been pretty uneventful. I think she’d missed her in some way.
Adam glanced over at her, surprised and a little intrigued. My stomach twisted in knots and I longed for something to distract me, take my attention away from the conversation. After all, I did hear rumors that he has a thing for ex-girlfriends.
“I thought she went away to college,” Adam said. The knot tightened and I glanced away, hoping no one noticed.
“Yeah, like any college in the universe would accept her. I have no idea, but she was there and bitchier than ever.”
“She’s not that bad,” Adam said and that was the last straw for me. I jumped up from the table and hurried towards the sliding glass doors, relieved when no one followed me. I closed the doors behind me and leaned forward on the deck railing, closing my eyes and trying to force myself to be calm.
“You okay?” Someone asked. I glanced up to see Declan a few feet away on his own deck. He held a cigarette in his right hand, tapping it gently against the railing. I watched as he lifted it to his mouth and took a drag, releasing it back into the air, his eyes squinting.
“You smoke?” I asked instead, receiving a chuckle in response.
“New habit,” he admitted. “I started writing about a character that smoked and decided to give it a try myself. Hopefully it won’t be a long lasting one.”
“Hopefully,” I agreed. “That’s so bad for you.”
“Most enjoyable things in life are.”
I smiled despite my inner turmoil, feeling a comfort shared between us. I was really beginning to like Declan. He was still a mystery to me, but that was part of the appeal. “Can I have a drag?”
“No way,” he replied, tapping the cigarette one last time before crushing it and tossing it into the sand. “I don’t think your daughter would approve of that.”
The Edge of Everything (The Haven Series) Page 5