The Doctor Returns

by Stella MacLean

  Neill reached for her hand.

  Hesitantly, she twined her fingers with his. “What I didn’t realize was that Sam started drinking heavily the night after I lost Patrick, and he never stopped. Before that, he just used to drink socially, or when he went out with the guys. Or maybe it was more often.” She squeezed his fingers. “I don’t know. As far as I knew, he didn’t have a problem with alcohol when I married him.”

  “Alcoholics often hide their addiction.”

  “It got bad enough that we both had to face reality. And I changed, as well. Without Patrick, I went back to finish my nursing degree and then found myself becoming even more restless, more dissatisfied with my life. It was one of the saddest times for both of us. To think that a man as caring and kind as Sam could also be an alcoholic was devastating. Sam’s drinking became the one conversation we couldn’t have with each other. I wanted to leave, but I felt I owed it to him to stay. He helped me out and I had to do the same for him. As much as I tried to get him help, he kept resisting until the day he lost his job and came home to me completely despondent. I should have taken him straight to the doctor, but I didn’t.”

  “And he had a fatal accident on one of the lakes north of Bangor.” Neill searched his memory for his mother’s description of what had happened.

  “And I’ll never know if it was intentional or truly an accident.”

  Neill was speechless with remorse. What Sherri had lived with, how she’d tortured herself over what alcohol had done to her husband, would never have happened if he’d manned up and married her. He’d let his drive to succeed, his plans for his life, determine the fate of so many people. But he could at least attempt to ease her fears that somehow she’d failed Sam.

  “Sherri, you had nothing to do with Sam’s behavior. We all make choices, and he made his when he took that first drink. He could have sought help. He had you to support him through any treatment or therapy needed to put an end to his addiction. He, not you, chose to ignore the warning signs that his drinking was out of control. You couldn’t have changed him. He had to make the changes himself.”

  “But I feel guilty. He’d done so much for me, and I failed him.”

  “You didn’t.” He grasped both her hands in his. “You didn’t fail him or anybody else. What Sam did was his responsibility.”

  “It’s so easy for you to say when you weren’t involved.”

  “And I will have to live with that.”

  She closed her eyes, tears sliding between her lids and resting on her cheeks. She wiped the tears from her face. “I want all these feelings of loss, of lost opportunities, to be over. Sam wasn’t the only one who didn’t take responsibility. You and I didn’t, either. We had all these plans for the future, and yet neither one of us took precautions that night on the beach.”

  “You’re right. But in our defense, we were teenagers in love.”

  “Who didn’t consider the possibility that I might get pregnant.”

  “There’s no going back in life, only forward,” Neill said, wishing with all his heart that from here on in, they would be together as they were now.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  SHERRI WAS STARTLED out of her worried thoughts when the server arrived at her elbow with a plate of food she couldn’t remember ordering. But the sight of the soup and toasted Western sandwich made her stomach growl in appreciation. She picked up her spoon and ate hungrily.

  Neill waited for his plate to be put in front of him and for the server to leave before he spoke. “You’re right about the birth control and our lack of responsibility, but there’s something else here that needs to be acknowledged.”

  She glanced at him over her soupspoon. “What’s that?”

  “After you called my dorm room in Boston, I tried to call you back, but you wouldn’t take my call.”

  “Because I was in Bangor, trying to pull my life together while waiting for my baby to be born.”

  “And I was alone in Boston, trying to figure out what I could do to make up for my mistake.”

  “We’ve been over this,” she said, lowering her voice as she glanced around. The loss of her baby might be old news, but it would be news again if people overheard them.

  “But not like this. Not with both of us willing to take responsibility. If we’re ever going to have a chance at a future together, we need to have this conversation.”

  She didn’t agree, but then again, she’d been the one who’d taken refuge in another relationship in another town. Hardly the history of someone wanting to confront a problem, she reminded herself.

  “Sherri, I couldn’t make my life right, no matter how hard I tried. Being a doctor without you wasn’t how I imagined my life would be when I left high school.”

  “You married Lilly.”

  “Lilly and I started dating a year after you refused to have anything to do with me.”

  “During the same time I was trying to get Sam to stop drinking. When Sam died, my first thought was to find you, to confide my sorrow in the one person I could trust to understand—” The threat of tears blocked her throat.

  “But I was already—”

  “Married.”

  They sat silently staring at each other, their food cooling on their plates. “Timing is not one of our strengths,” Neill said at last.

  “That’s the understatement of the century.” She smiled ruefully, catching the light in his eyes as they stopped eating, aware of how easy it was to talk to him still, all these years later.

  “Somehow, I’m going to make this up to you...to us,” he murmured, his eyes dark with determination. “We deserve another chance at making each other happy. We didn’t succeed last time, but this time it will be different, I swear.”

  She saw the sincerity in the depth of his gaze and was overwhelmed by the thought that if she’d been able to get past her hurt, if he’d been willing to come home to her, to take responsibility for what they’d done together, they would have been happily married for all these years. “We’ve come full circle, haven’t we?”

  “How so?”

  “Well, it was Sam who rescued me when I needed rescuing, and it was you who rescued Charlie. If you hadn’t become disillusioned with your life in Boston, you might not have been here when Charlie had his accident.”

  “And if Charlie can see how lucky he is, how much he needs to believe in his good fortune and turn his life around...”

  “Do you think this means we’re meant to start over, as well? To rescue each other?” she asked, the hope in his eyes easing the air from her lungs.

  “Sherri, there is one event I wouldn’t change, and that’s the arrival of Morgan in my life.”

  Envy made her heart beat against her ribs. What if their son had survived? Grief slammed into her with the force of a hurricane. It had been twelve long years since she’d lost Patrick, and still the memory of him could shatter her in a matter of seconds. “You’re so fortunate to have Morgan.”

  “In so many ways. Morgan has shown me that there is so much more to life than making money and hoarding power. Lilly found parenting difficult, but for me it was rewarding, a natural extension of who I was. When Morgan was diagnosed with epilepsy, I wanted to put my career on hold, at least for a few years until Morgan’s health issues were stabilized and she’d become accustomed to her new life.”

  “And Lilly?”

  “Lilly was already making plans for moving her company to Houston. It was assumed that any change of plans would be mine, not hers.”

  “Why would you let Lilly make decisions for the two of you? You had as much right as she did to your career and your happiness.”

  “That’s the whole point. I saw in Lilly what I wanted to see.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Lilly liked to live life on her terms.” He went on
to explain the call he’d received from Dr. Reynolds and Lilly’s attitude toward Morgan’s care. She could understand Neill’s anger at his ex-wife.

  “Morgan’s been through a lot,” she offered.

  “Yes, but she’s still trying to get her parents back together, to be a family again. She is still convinced that her mother and I will be living under the same roof again someday. When Lilly was here, all she talked about was getting her mother to move here with us. Sometimes I wish that Lilly and I had fought more during our marriage.”

  “Why?” Sherri asked, surprised.

  “Morgan has never understood why we couldn’t go on living together. It might have been easier for her to accept if we’d been fighting a lot.”

  “Do you really believe that?”

  He ran his hands through his hair. Her eyes followed the movement of his fingers. “Not really, I suppose. No, I wouldn’t want Morgan to go through what a lot of kids go through when their parents fight.”

  “And do you think she’ll start to feel any differently now that Lilly lives so far away?”

  “Time will tell, I guess. Meanwhile, I’m a little anxious about the preteen dating scene.”

  “Dating? She’s only nine—she’s not old enough to date.”

  “I know, but she wants to be popular, like any kid, and the kids in her class are already talking about boys, or so Mom says.”

  “Apparently I need to brush up on my knowledge of the lives of nine-year-olds,” Sherri said.

  “Me, too. That’s my point. Morgan and her mother love to talk about clothes and school, which has always left me sitting on the sidelines if not outside the dressing room door.” He shrugged and smiled, a mannerism Sherri remembered from years ago. Whenever Neill was worried, he’d try to shrug it off or smile it away.

  “Does Lilly plan to spend much time in Eden Harbor?”

  “Small towns are not Lilly’s cup of tea, so I suspect that she’ll want Morgan in Houston more often so they can go shopping together.”

  “How will we manage all this?”

  “We?” A grin suffused his handsome features. “I like that particular pronoun where you and I are concerned.”

  She could feel her cheeks beginning to glow. “And you didn’t answer the question.”

  “I had an interesting conversation with Morgan a couple of days ago. Someone in her class told her about you.”

  “They did? How did you handle it?”

  “She wants to meet you, and I told her she’d already met you in the hospital.”

  “But if we’re getting back together, she’ll need to be told what’s going on between us.”

  “She will, but maybe we can let it wait for a while. Maybe we should meet somewhere outside of town for dates.”

  “I’m not sneaking around! If you and I are going to be together, we’re going to be honest about it. Besides, if Morgan finds out that we’re dating from someone else at school, she’ll be hurt. And I can’t blame her. You said she’s already missing her mother not being a part of her daily life, and if she finds out you’ve been sneaking around with me, she might act out.”

  “Act out how? Run away?”

  “It’s a possibility. Morgan deserves to be treated like the smart young woman she is.” She saw the look of surprise on Neill’s face and softened her tone. “I want my relationship with Morgan to start off well. And she’s right. Do you realize that someday we may find ourselves wanting to tell her about Patrick?”

  “Can I ask you something? Did you name him Patrick after my cousin?”

  Patrick Brandon had died of AIDS back when there were very few drugs available to control the disease. “I remember him as a funny, older teenager who we all looked up to when we were in grade school.”

  Neill reached across the table and cupped Sherri’s chin in his hand, brushing her skin with his gentle fingers and driving her desire for him. As he leaned across the table and kissed her on the lips, his mixture of sweat, need and exhaustion fueled the heat rising through her.

  He smiled as he kissed her again. “As your doctor, I’m prescribing bed rest for you, with a little extracurricular activity on the side during which you don’t have to leave the bed.”

  “That sounds perfect. There’s only one tiny little problem.”

  “What’s that?”

  How much she wanted this man, how easily his touch could leave her wanting more. “With the news of Charlie’s accident making its way around town, my mom’s probably got one of her pals posted on my street watching for me so she can pry information out of me.”

  “Your mother would have made a great detective.”

  “I couldn’t agree more. Remember how she always seemed to know the exact second we reached the veranda at my house?”

  “I do.” He kissed her again quickly. “It’s time for us to make tracks to my house. There’s no one there, only unpacked boxes.”

  Her control was slipping with each inviting touch of his hands. “Where’s Morgan?”

  “She’s going to her grandmother’s house after school. Mom’s going to bring her back later. Those two are thick as thieves, and Mom is so happy to have her granddaughter in the same city.”

  Her heart pounding in delight, Sherri checked her watch. “We’d better get a move on, then.”

  * * *

  THE DRIVE TO Neill’s house on the edge of town passed in a blur. He drove with one hand on the wheel and the other in hers, his fingers tracing circles on her palm while his gaze flicked from the road ahead to her face, an eager smile on his lips.

  Once in his house, he gathered her in his arms and started for the stairs. “I’ve wanted this ever since I signed the purchase agreement for this house.”

  “Only that long?” she teased.

  He hugged her close to his chest, his eyes locked on hers. “A man spends most of his natural life wanting a woman, and she makes light of his ardor?”

  She nuzzled his neck, pressing her mouth into the soft skin in front of his ear. “I’d be more than happy to show you my ardor,” she whispered and was rewarded with his arms forcing her body closer to his.

  He nearly dropped her on the bottom step in his eagerness to get up to his room. “Got to pay more attention,” he said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. How long had she waited for this feeling of connection? A feeling she’d only ever had with Neill.

  At the landing, he turned and strode down the hall toward the bedroom at the back of the house. He nudged the door open with his shoulder and let her slide down the length of him. Her feet touched the floor just as he kissed her lips, his tongue pushing into her mouth. Her fingers slid over his muscled chest as she reached up and pulled him down to her, kissing the soft skin of his throat as her lips moved up his heated skin.

  A lifetime had passed since she’d held him, touched him and reveled in the thought that he was hers.

  “Kiss me,” he ordered, his voice a soft rasp.

  Leaning her body into his, she kissed him, arching toward him as she undid the zipper of his jeans to his thunderous groan of pleasure. Without a word, he lifted her up and placed her on the bed, his hands palming her breasts as he eased down beside her. Making love to him again would be different from any other experience she’d ever had. She gave a catlike stretch, pulling her T-shirt over her head and tossing it to the floor. His fingers working quickly, he undid the front fastening of her lace bra. He looked at her through eyes darkened with lust and need, the moment stilling between them.

  The air was quiet, the room warmed by the afternoon sun streaming through the windows. Neill lowered his head to hers, kissing her neck, the bare skin of her shoulders, freeing her mind of all concerns except for the man who was driving her crazy with his touch. All the while he whispered his need for her, his longing. She drew his words into h
er heart, into the secret place that had held all her pain for so long.

  His hands moved down her body, undoing her jeans, working his fingers beneath her panties. His fingers traced their heated advance over the narrow width of her pelvis while his mouth teased her lips. Her body writhed beneath his as he pulled her closer, his jeans barely containing his erection.

  Eagerly, Sherri returned his kiss while she frantically raised her hips and pushed her jeans down her legs, then kicked them off. She breathed a moan swallowed by his kiss—a burst of need, raw and urgent, rushed past her lips as his fingers found their mark. “Don’t stop!” she whispered, pulling him on top of her.

  He raised his head up, his breath coming in short gasps. “Damn!”

  “What?” Sherri asked, her words scraping past her throat.

  “We need protection,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “In the bathroom,” he said, climbing out of the bed.

  She watched his lithe body with all its angles, the length of his powerful legs as he moved toward the bathroom door, her mind going back to another time, to the night they’d first made love, the night Patrick had been conceived.

  As she waited for Neill, memories of that night flooded her. The prickling sand beneath her hips, the unbridled lust, the awkward joining of two bodies in the night. And, afterward, the sweet entwining of their limbs as they lay together beneath the night sky.

  She watched in wonder as Neill came out of the bathroom, his eyes searching for hers as he moved to lie down beside her once again. “Sherri—”

  “Dad?” Morgan’s excited voice rang out from somewhere below. “Dad, I’m home. Gram’s with me, and I’ve got great news!”

  They gasped in surprise. “Oh, no!” Neill grabbed his jeans. “What’s she doing here?” He glanced at his watch. “Damn!”