by Toni Aleo
My mother gasps very dramatically. “Ah, bella! The Lord’s name!”
“Sorry, Mom,” I mutter. But I’m so freaking cold!
“Why are you outside? Go sit in the car.”
“No,” I protest. “I want to be standing here, all excited, when Ryan gets off the plane.”
“Oh, he is coming home today, isn’t he?” Mom asks, and even in the cold, I can’t help but grin widely.
Nine days. He’s been gone nine whole days.
It’s been tough, but it was doable, which I am very excited about. I hope he is too. Now I just need his plane to land and for him to get off it!
“Yup, I’m excited. I wore a dress.”
“A dress? For what?”
“To surprise him.”
“How nice. He’ll like that. You have great legs.”
It’s not my legs he’s gonna like, more the fact that I’m not wearing panties. Which is one of the reasons I’m slowly but surely freezing my ass off. Literally. “Yeah, if I still have legs when this plane lands.”
“You’re crazy. So I guess it’s serious between you two?”
“I’d say so.” I grin as I dance around, trying to get some blood flowing to heat me up. “He’s great, Mom. I think you’ll love him. He’s very kind.”
“Ah, I can’t wait to meet him, bella. Hopefully in Missouri,” she mentions, and my heart drops. “Will he come, maybe?”
“Mom, I told you I don’t want you making that big trip. It’s not good—”
“Ah, bella, don’t worry about me, I want to see my baby perform as a collegiate gymnast. I didn’t get to see you as an Olympian.”
“Because I’m not one.”
“Exactly, so I’m coming.”
I close my eyes. “No, give me a few more weeks. I should be able to get the money together. I’ve been really kicking it hard in the gym, and Mrs. Justice hasn’t had many events lately. Her regular staff takes those.”
“My bella, you don’t have to pay for me to come.”
“I want to. Please let me. Don’t drive to Missouri. Please.”
“Ah, I don’t know,” she says, and then the plane is pulling in. My heart pounds in my chest, excitement rushes through my body, and I almost come out of my skin.
He’s home.
Ryan is home.
“Okay, Mom, I love you so much, but Ryan just got here. Can I call you later?”
“Of course, of course. I love you too, bella.”
I hang up, tucking my phone into the pocket of my puffy jacket, and I wish it were a parka. When the door opens and people begin to file out, I forget about the cold. My excitement takes over as the team starts to deplane. They’re all huge and very well dressed. This Assassins team has some hotties, but I want to see my hottie. Impatiently, I watch as each player rushes to his family, and my heart aches watching them. The kids all jump on their daddies, while the players all rush to kiss their wives. It’s so sweet.
But when my gaze lands on Ryan, I’m glad I’m not in a parka.
His eyes widen, and a grin spreads across his beautiful face. I’m bouncing on my toes, and I can’t believe he’s here. I start for him as he comes down the stairs, his eyes only on me. We meet in the middle, and I knock into him like a ton of bricks, but he stands tall, wrapping his arms around me tightly as our mouths meet. Good Lord, I’ve missed this mouth. I grip his shoulders as his bag hits the ground, and he lifts me off my feet. Man, I’ve missed all of him!
When he pulls back, his eyes are bright and knock the breath out of me. “Fucking hell, I’ve missed you.”
I squeal in delight. Yes, I squeal. “Not as much as I’ve missed you.”
He lowers me to my feet, his eyes still burning into mine. “Jesus, Sofia, did you get even more gorgeous, or have I just missed the fuck out of you?” he asks, taking my face in his hands. My heart sings for him. “And you’re wearing a dress. You trying to kill me?”
“And no panties,” I say with a wink, and his grin turns devilish.
“That’s just rude. We’re going to my mom’s from here.”
I shrug, my eyes twinkling. “Who says we can’t take a small little detour and have some fun? I cleaned your truck.”
He shoots me a deadpan expression, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Of course you did, you crazy person.” He wraps his arms around me, pulling me in close. “Let’s get in the truck. You look like you’re freezing.”
“I am,” I say happily. “But seeing your face when you saw me was totally worth it.”
He flashes me a grin before grabbing his bag, and we head for the truck. Opening the door for me, he helps me in, but before I can sit down, he lifts my skirt.
I cry out, smacking his hands away. “Ah! Cold.”
“Ha, your ass is beet red.”
“I’m cold!”
He chuckles as he throws his bag at my feet. Leaning in, he takes my mouth once more, and I arch into him, missing the feel of his lips. His hand slowly snakes between my legs, cupping me as he continues to draw the kisses out of me. When he pulls back, he flashes me a grin. “Think I can get you off right here?”
“Ryan,” I gasp, pressing my fingers into his chest. His fingers move along my nether lips, and I’m breathless at his touch. “People are…oh, oh my…around.”
His eyes are full of desire. “But I want to watch you come,” he whispers just as his finger slides between my lips, finding my nub. I gasp, holding on to his chest as he takes a step toward me, his body acting as a shield as he flicks his fingers along my clit. “Do you know how hot you make me?” he mutters against my lips. He then runs his tongue over my bottom lip. “I only had a screen to see you on, and you wouldn’t even do this for me?”
I laugh as my head falls back. “I was shy.”
“There is nothing about you that’s shy. You are a fucking tease,” he mutters against the side of my mouth. “You wanted to drive me crazy for the last nine days so that when I got here, the first thing I’d wanna do was get deep inside you.”
I snort, but then I moan. I’m conflicted. “For one… Oh God, oh yes, I like that,” I pant out as he curves his fingers up inside me.
“As you were saying?” he asks wickedly.
I’m too lost to care, though. “You’d want me this bad even if I had masturbated for you.”
“Oh, you’re fucking right, I would,” he says huskily against my lips. “And you are very lucky we’re in a parking lot, or I’d take you right here.”
“See, this has nothing to do with me—”
“Baby, it has everything to do with you,” he promises, and like that, I come undone.
In the middle of an airport parking lot on Christmas Eve.
The Virgin Mary would be so proud.
After getting situated and buckling up, we are finally on our way to Ryan’s mom’s house. She’s hosting Christmas this year, and Amelia is there with Shelli. I was surprised when Amelia said they were talking. I was pretty sure she was gonna kill her cousin, but apparently, I don’t know a thing about cousins. Because they’re back to being best friends.
What I do know is that I am completely and utterly in love with Ryan. These last few weeks have been great. We’ve been busy, but without school, we actually have a lot more time for each other. When I’m in the gym, he sits in the corner and watches videos or sends emails. I work on my reading for my lit class that’s coming up this winter while he is on the ice. Somehow, we found a routine, and I love that about us. Things just work, and I couldn’t ask for anything else.
I’ll admit, I was a little freaked out when his trip with the Assassins was extended by four days. He was originally only supposed to go for five—three games and fly home after the last game—but they wanted him to finish the trip with them. He’s that fucking good, and I am just bursting with pride. The best part, though, was that we made it work. We talked constantly, we texted, we FaceTimed, and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. We just adapted, and that’s what has really got me
thinking.
“DJ was really impressed with me. He had me on the bench the last two games, Sof. On the bench, as an intern! I got to hand out smelling salts, and when one of the players took a puck to the spot under his arm, cracking a rib, by the way, I got to go out there and help him back to the bench. It was like I was a real trainer. It was fucking awesome.”
Oh, I want to cry, I’m so proud of him.
“Ryan, that’s amazing. I watched the last two games, no clue what was going on, and holy crap, they are so much slower than your games.”
He laughs. “That’s ’cause they’re older and wiser and make plays. We just skate around trying to kill each other and score between the killings.”
I giggle along with him. “It was way easier to follow, even though I don’t understand icing, and for once, Google failed me.”
He scoffs. “Babe, come on. It’s easy. It’s when the player on the defense clears the puck because he’s under pressure.”
“Yeah, but why do both teams’ players run toward the puck?”
“Because if the team that clears it gets there before the other one does, they can call off the icing.”
“Well, that’s just too much,” I announce, waving my hand. “Hockey is hard.”
“But so fucking fun.”
“It is,” I agree, leaning into him. “Was it fun skating with the guys?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t get to play. I just warmed up with them for shits and giggles. You don’t get to do that as a real trainer.”
“Still, I bet it was cool,” I gush, and he nods, a grin pulling at his lips.
“It was great.”
I love the smile on his face and the way his eyes are just blazing today. I reach out, taking his hand and squeezing it. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you,” he says and quickly leans over, pressing his lips to my jaw in a smacking kiss. “Way more.”
He looks back out at the road as I hold his hand in my lap. I turn in my seat, crossing my legs as I gaze up at him. “So, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Hit me.” So I do, and he shoots me a dry look. “Jerk.”
I smile innocently at him. “So this trip wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“How so?” he asks, puckering his brows.
“For us. I think we did great.”
“No way. It was terrible. I was lost without you,” he says dramatically, and I grin up at him.
I lace our fingers together. “No, really.”
He doesn’t look at me as he shrugs. “Yeah, it wasn’t too bad. I missed you, but we talked constantly.”
“Exactly,” I say excitedly. “So here’s what I’m thinking—”
“Should I brace myself?” he teases, waggling his brows at me. “Shit, is this something off Google?”
“Hush!” I protest, but I can’t help but laugh when he flashes me that grin that warms me all over. “But, really, I know we haven’t talked about it because we don’t want to think of this ending. But maybe, if we are still together come the end of the year, we should try to stay together when you’re gone.”
His grin falls from his face. “Gone?”
“Yeah, whatever hockey team you go to, I want to stay together.”
Ryan glances at me but only for a beat before looking back at the road. “Oh.”
“I mean, it will be harder I’m sure, but I think we can do it—” Before I can even finish, he’s shaking his head.
“Sofia, I’m not doing that to you.”
“But—”
“No, you are here, you are building something fucking great, and I’m not gonna keep you to myself when you deserve so much more.”
“Well, shit, do I get a say in that?” I demand, and he glances back at me.
“I’m saying this for you. It wouldn’t be fair—”
“I feel that’s something we should both agree on. Do you want to be with me?”
“Yes, Sofia, but—”
“But no. I want to be with you.”
“Fucking hell,” he groans, shaking his head. “This is why I don’t want to talk about this. We don’t even know where we’ll be in a couple months. Why are we deciding this now?”
I stare at his profile for a long time. My heart is beating out of control, and I want to shake him. Doesn’t he see that he means the world to me? That I don’t want to have a life without him in it? Doesn’t he realize I love him? The only reason I haven’t said it is because I don’t want to come off as some stupid girl in love with someone who is leaving. But if he agreed we could try to stay together, or if he took this seriously, then I would tell him. I would scream it in his face.
But then, it’s things like this that make me think he doesn’t love me.
“Fine,” I say, dropping his hand and turning in my seat.
He tries to grab my hand, but I tuck them under my arm. “Sof, don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad.”
“Oh, you’re pissed,” he laughs, shaking his head. “I don’t want to fight on Christmas. I don’t want to fight at all, really, and I don’t understand why you’re so upset over something we honestly don’t even have to worry about till I get picked up. Just let it be. Let us be.”
I don’t say anything. I sit there, staring out the window as I fight back my tears. I’m not a crier, but when I get pissed, they sometimes find a way out.
When the truck suddenly goes off the road, I hold on and look over at him wildly. “What in the hell are you doing?”
He doesn’t answer me. He just puts the truck in park and gets out. I watch him, my eyes wide and my mouth parted as he walks around the hood, coming to my door. He pulls it open with force, and before I can say anything, he takes me by the waist and pulls me into his arms. I try to fight him off, but he not only outweighs me, he towers over me too. I press my hands into his chest, glaring at him, but he isn’t letting me go.
“Can you stop so I can tell you something?”
I glare. “What?”
“Do you think I like talking, or even thinking, about leaving you? ’Cause I don’t. It guts me, Sofia.”
“It does me too, which is why I’m trying to make a plan.”
“But your plan has flaws, baby,” he stresses, his eyes burning into mine. “It seems like a grand idea—call when we can, stay true to each other. Believe me, I could do it, but—”
“So can I. I would never cheat on you.”
“I know, but that’s not fair to you. If I get picked up, I’ll never live here again, not until I retire. So what does that mean for us? Do you see what I mean? I don’t want to stress about that right now. I want to kiss you, make love to you, and hold you in my arms and think we’re great,” he says, his eyes full of such sorrow it takes my breath away.
“But—”
“If the time comes, then I will say goodbye. It won’t be easy, and I’m warning you now, I’ll probably be as dramatic as Amelia, but I’ll leave.”
My lip starts to quiver, and my eyes burn with tears as I stare into his. That doesn’t sound like something I want or even could handle. Before I can say that though, his words bring me back to him. “And every day I am away from you, I will pray and hope that one day I’ll be able to come back to you. That some lucky bastard hasn’t already stolen you from me by the time I can get to you. But the great thing about that being in the future is I don’t have to worry about it now. Right now, I get to worry about making you happy and getting in your pants every chance I get.”
I know he says the last part to make me smile, and damn it, I do. “I don’t want any of that. I just want you.”
His arms tighten around me. “And I just want you.”
“This is stupid.”
His lips curve. “I agree. Wanna break up and hate each other?”
“No,” I say sadly as I look down at his chest.
He drops his head lower so he can look into my eyes. “Good. I wasn’t going to let you.” He presses his nose into mine, squishing it hard un
til, finally, I smile once more. “I don’t want to upset you.”
“I know.”
“And believe me, when I told you you were going to ruin me for the female gender, I wasn’t just feeding you a line. It’s the truth.”
My heart skips a beat or six as I stare into his blue eyes. “Then what do we do?”
His eyes are so sad as he gazes into mine. “We enjoy what time we have, and then we figure out our new normal.”
“I don’t want a new normal. I like our normal-normal,” I say with a pout, and his lips quirk.
“Me too, but hey,” he says, moving his face closer to mine. “Whenever I am in town, I’ll call you, and we can hook up.”
When he waggles his brows at me, I laugh. “Oh, so I’ll be your Tennessee booty call?”
He snorts before he nods eagerly. “Yes, and I am so making you a shirt that says that.”
I smack him as our laughter mingles into one sound. I let out a thoughtful sigh as I stare into his eyes. I don’t want to fight with him. I don’t want to worry about a future that doesn’t involve him, because I’ll go crazy. I’ll hate myself for ruining what we have now. “Fine.”
“Fine?”
“Fine, as long as you wear a shirt that says ‘Sofia’s booty call.’”
“No way,” he says, his eyes staring into mine. “It’ll say ‘Sofia’s man.’”
My heart aches in my chest as he smiles. “Lies. You’ll move on.”
He scoffs at that, shaking his head. “No, remember? I’m coming back for you. But knowing my luck, you’ll have moved on.”
“I won’t,” I say without even the slightest hesitation. I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him tightly to me. “I’ll get a dog or a cat or a plant for companionship, and I’ll learn how to get myself off.”
I can feel him smile against my neck before kissing it softly. “Please let me help you learn.”
My face breaks into a grin, but soon the tears are rolling down my cheeks. I thought I had such a great plan, but I didn’t, and he’s right. We knew going into this that we only had a short time together. Problem is, my heart wasn’t listening to that. Or even my head. No part of me was listening because I was under the spell of Ryan’s beautiful and stunning gaze.