by Toni Aleo
A real, adult job.
With the Assassins.
My favorite hockey team.
Holy shit.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
I blink to see Shea looking at me like I’ve lost it. Maybe I have. I can’t even answer him, I’m dumbstruck. “You okay?” he asks, coming to me and gripping my shoulders. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”
“DJ offered me a job,” I somehow get out, and Shea’s face shifts from concern to excitement.
“No shit!”
“Yes shit,” I answer, and he slaps my back before pulling me into a tight hug. I tremble in his arms. I can’t believe this. This is amazing. Holy shit. Oh, wait, I already said that.
Pulling back, he grips my shoulders once more, shaking me a bit. “Ryan, this is a fantastic opportunity.”
“What is?”
We both turn to see Elli standing there, looking every bit the fucking owner of a professional hockey team. Her dress is formfitting, but I doubt anyone notices with how high her heels are. She’s almost as tall as Shea and me, when really, she’s the size of Amelia.
Shea hooks a thumb to me. “DJ offered him a job as a trainer on the team.”
Elli’s eyes light up as she grabs me for a hug, and I go limp like a noodle. She squeezes me tightly, squealing as she pulls back. “Ryan, that is amazing! That’s insane, and to think, you haven’t even graduated!”
I swallow, and then I laugh. This is craziness. “I wouldn’t start until rookie camp, but he wants to lock me in now so that he doesn’t have to start interviewing people. Before I graduate. He wants me. I’m awesome.”
They’re both shaking with excitement, as am I. This is a huge deal. I just got offered a job with a professional hockey team. I won’t have to start at the bottom like most people. I would be working like a real adult, and goddamn, I’d be an adult.
This got real really fast.
“So, what did you say? Did you take it?” Elli gushes, holding out her hands. “Or do you want to tell your mom first?”
I shake my head. “I told him I had to think about it.”
Elli cocks her head, and Shea nods. “To see what’s going to happen with the draft.”
I swallow hard as I nod, my stomach twisting. “Problem is, he needs an answer by Monday. I have a solid week, and damn it, I don’t know.”
Elli looks to Shea and then back to me. “I say take it.” Shea and I both look at her, wide-eyed, and she holds her hands up at us. “I believe in you a billion percent, Ryan Justice, and I love you. You know this. But this is an amazing opportunity most people don’t get—”
“But the NHL isn’t something to shake a stick at, baby. That’s what he wants.”
Yeah, it’s what I want.
Right?
Because this job looks pretty damn great.
She locks eyes with Shea. “And I understand that. But unlike other draftees, he hasn’t heard anything. It’s the beginning of February, and the season for the Bullies is over at the end of the month. He should have heard something by now.”
She looks back to me, but I’m watching Shea’s face. He doesn’t want to accept that she’s right. Hell, I don’t want to either. “She could be right, but the jury is still out. I say you ask him if he can give you till graduation.”
But Elli is already shaking her head. “No, he can’t. DJ has to interview people, and that’s a lengthy process when you don’t know them personally. You have to be able to mesh with your assistant trainer. He can’t just pick someone out of a pile. DJ isn’t stupid.”
“I get that, but he can’t expect the kid to abandon his plans for the NHL for a trainer job. That’s like smacking him in the face that he gave up his dreams,” Shea throws back, and I feel like I’m watching a tennis match.
But instead of a little yellow ball, they’re playing with my heart.
“I agree, but we have to be realistic about this. Not everyone gets into the NHL. It’s a dog-eat-dog world. But this is a guaranteed job. He will be one of the only students to graduate with a high-paying job waiting on him. Shea, he can’t give that up.”
Okay, if this were a game, Elli would be winning.
Shea holds his hands up, a smirk on his face as Elli glares up at him. “I hear you, baby, I do. But he wants to be in the NHL, he’s got the talent—”
“And I don’t doubt that even in the slightest. But if he were a strong contender for the NHL, he’d already have a spot, Shea, and you know it. Do not tell this boy to give up an excellent job for a ‘what-if’ situation.” She looks back at me. “You know I love you.”
“I do,” I say, and her eyes are full of such passion, they’re scaring the shit out of me.
“Take the job, Ryan James. You will not get an opportunity like this ever again, I can promise you that. Also, just think, honey. You won’t leave, and you and Sofia can be together—”
“Whoa! Now I gotta shut you down. Don’t use Sofia for this,” Shea roars, and I back up slowly. I haven’t known my aunt and uncle to come to blows, but when they’re heated, sometimes things start flying. “I love the girl, but I refuse to let him give up his dreams and just settle for his current girl. How do we know she’s in this for the long haul? She’s eighteen fucking years old!”
“Um, I wouldn’t be settling,” I try to say, but neither of them hears me.
“Well, she’s a hell of a lot more mature than you were at thirty, Shea Adler, so I’d say she’s pretty much in this for the long haul, in my opinion!”
“I was in it for the long haul!” he yells back, and I’m starting to think I should leave. “I loved you from the moment I met you.”
“And it’s the same for them. Age is just a number. You can’t deny the heart what it wants. Her momma was telling me Sofia still wants to be with him when he’s gone. They’d never see each other, but Sofia wants to try. That says something about her character!”
“Yes, that she’s an eighteen-year-old girl in love. You’d do the same thing.”
“You’re right. I wasn’t just eighteen, and I did for many years, waiting for you to come home and loving you when it was hard, Shea. You were gone more than you were home, and people loved writing about how Captain Shea Adler was sleeping with anything with tits. But I still loved you—”
“That’s beside the point, Elli. It’s about Ryan, not our marriage—which is fucking great, by the way.”
“Oh, it is. I love you more than I love myself, Shea. But my point is, do not doubt her love or the fact that this boy can be a damn fine trainer. Yes, he won’t be on the ice as a player. But he will be with the girl he loves and making kick-ass money while doing something he’s not only great at but that he also loves. I see it as a win-win.”
Another point for Elli.
“Well, I think he should turn it down. I would.”
She covers her face before yelling, “Because you had nineteen fucking teams wanting you, Shea. The situations are so damn different. And damn it, Ryan, I’m not saying you aren’t talented. You know that, right?”
They both look to me, and I’m just gawking at them, my mouth hanging open, unsure what the hell to say. “Yes, ma’am.”
“But you don’t have what he did. And I’m sorry, I’m not trying to hurt your feelings. But, baby, this is an amazing opportunity.” She glares at Shea when he scoffs. “It’s not our decision, though. It’s his.”
“You’re right. It’s his.”
They both look at me once more, and I just stand there. “Yeah, I got nothing.”
Elli’s face fills with compassion as she comes to me, cupping my face in her hands. “And that’s fine, sweetheart. You have a week to make a decision. At the end of the day, it’s what you want.”
“She’s right, Ryan. It’s your life, and you have to be happy with it.”
“Yeah,” I say slowly. “Sorry, information overload over here.”
Shea chuckles as he pulls Elli into his side, looking down at her. “Yeah,
we’re kind of passionate.”
Elli’s lip quirk. “Just a bit.”
They stare at each other for so long, it becomes very uncomfortable. Clicking my tongue, I hold up my hands. “I’m gonna go.”
They both nod, yet they continue to gaze into each other’s eyes like Sofia and I do right before we rip each other’s clothes off.
That’s my cue to leave.
Even though I have no clue what the hell I’m going to do.
I didn’t expect Sofia to be at the gym after she went to drop her mom off at the airport with my mom. I was supposed to take them, but DJ called about the meeting, so my mom offered. I thought Sofia would be at her dorm, all upset, and I’d come in to comfort her, but that girl keeps on amazing me. She seriously trains all the time. It’s all she knows, but she’s already so focused on her path to getting what she wants. Meanwhile, I have no clue what the hell I am going to do.
I just want her to make it better.
When I walk into the gym, Sofia’s on the beam. She’s wearing a solid black leo, unlike her warm-up one or her team ones that are both teal and black. Her hair is up in a no-nonsense bun, and she’s focused. Amelia stands at the end of the beam, her camera up and recording as Sofia does a flight series without even the smallest of bobbles. She looks determined and a little angry, which I find totally hot.
When she runs down the beam, back handsprings off before doing a lot of twists and sticking it to the mat, I slow clap as I come toward them. She whips her head toward me, and a smile covers her sweet lips.
“That was cool.”
“Yeah, I want to compete it next week,” she says as I come up to her, kissing the side of her mouth.
“Did your mom get off okay?”
She smiles. “Yeah. She made you some food, loads of rice and beans. Told me to tell you that you should have enough for months.”
I grin. “She rocks.”
“And she made you some coconut pudding and a cheese flan.”
I moan, letting my head drop back. “She loves me, doesn’t she?”
“She does.”
I kiss her once more. “I love you more, though.”
“More than coconut pudding and cheese flan?”
“So much more, ’cause I’ll just smother you with all of that and eat it off.”
Amelia groans before doing an obnoxious gagging thing as Sofia snorts. “Mm, that sounds like fun.”
“And really messy,” I say with a wink.
“Sticky for sure,” she teases as she pulls me with her and heads to Amelia. “Come here. Watch the video.”
I go willingly, wrapping my arms around her as we watch her murder the beam. I don’t even understand how judges give her anything less than a damn ten. She’s brilliant. “Ten,” I say, and she beams up at me.
“I wobbled during that triple back.”
I wave her off. “No way. It was the camera.”
Amelia laughs at that. “Ryan wears ten goggles when you go, Sofia. And he’s like, eh, my sister is okay.”
I make a face, pulling Amelia into my side. “Whatever. I have ten goggles for both of you. My favorite gymnasts ever.”
They both like that, hugging me from each side, until Amelia looks up at me. “So, why are you stalling? Did you get the A?”
“Oh, yes! I’m so sorry,” Sofia says, smacking my chest. “I’m a dingbat. I cried the whole way home, which embarrassed me ’cause your mom was fussing over me. And then I got here, ready to burn off my emotions. I didn’t forget. I just wasn’t thinking. What happened? I’m sorry.”
I laugh as Amelia makes a face. “You didn’t need to tell him all that. Just a simple, ‘Yes, what happened?’ would have worked.”
“Shut it, Amelia,” Sofia snaps at her, but they both smile as I roll my eyes.
Leaning into the practice beam, I nod. “Yeah, I got the A. All high marks.”
They both grin with excitement as Sofia says, “That’s so wonderful. Though we all knew it would happen.”
“For sure. You’re, like, the best,” Amelia gushes with a grin. “So proud of you, bro.”
“Thanks.” I shrug, my face twisting with surprise, I guess. I don’t know what I’m feeling. I’m still so shocked but then super pumped. Don’t get me wrong, I knew I could be a great trainer, but I always thought I wouldn’t need to be. Or that I’d want to be. But I kind of want to be now. It’s weird. Shaking my head, I look over at Sofia. “Yeah, I guess so. Um, apparently Mikey, the assistant, is leaving the team, and DJ offered the job to me.”
Amelia’s eyes widen as Sofia’s jaw drops. “What?” Amelia roars. “Shut up! That’s insane! That’s, like, a really big honor. So cool. You’re so badass.”
“That’s amazing, Ryan. Congratulations.” Sofia hugs me tightly, kissing my jaw. “I’m so proud.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Too bad you said no,” Amelia laughs. “With the NHL and all.”
I press my lips together as I look at my sister. “Actually, I didn’t say anything yet. I have to decide by Monday.”
“Oh,” she says, her eyes searching mine. “But don’t you have some leads with Chicago?”
“Yeah, but I don’t know if I’ll get them, and Elli was saying I shouldn’t turn this down. That it’s a big deal.”
“I’d say so,” Amelia says, holding my gaze. “I guess it’s whatever you want.”
“I should probably wait, huh? Don’t you think so?”
Amelia shakes her head. “It’s whatever makes you happy, Ryan. It doesn’t matter what I think. I love you no matter what.”
“Yeah, I guess,” I say, looking down at Sofia, and she’s watching me. “What do you think?”
She shrugs. “It’s not my choice, Ryan. It’s yours.”
“But what do you think I should do?”
She moves out of my arms, looking up at me. “It doesn’t matter what I think you should do. This is your decision.”
“But I want to know what you think,” I say sternly. I don’t get why she can’t just tell me one way or another. It’s not a hard question.
“I’m sure you’re aware of this, but this is your decision. Not anyone else’s,” she says, a tad snarkily.
I narrow my eyes at her. “I am aware, but I want to know what you’d do.”
She holds my gaze. “I wouldn’t take it.” My eyes widen as Amelia gawks at her. “You say your dream is the NHL. You want it, and if you take this, you’ll be settling.”
That’s the second time someone has said I would settle, and it’s starting to piss me off.
“I honestly didn’t think you’d say that,” I say, completely shocked.
“I didn’t either,” Amelia says from the side, but I don’t think either of us is paying attention to her.
Our gazes are locked as Sofia shrugs. “Why wouldn’t I? I want what you want.”
“But I thought you’d want me to take it. I can be here with you.”
She rolls her eyes. “Okay? And then in six years when your buddies are in the NHL, or even your cousins, you can resent me? No way. I’d rather see you once a month, make that the best damn time of our month, than have you hate me in the future.”
“I wouldn’t hate you…”
“You don’t know that,” she says, shaking her head. “Ryan, this is all you. No one can make this decision but you, and I’m sure you haven’t been told that just once today.”
I don’t understand why she is making this so difficult. “I haven’t, but I want to know what you want me to do.”
“It doesn’t matter!” she yells, holding her hands out at me. “I have no place in this decision—”
But before she can say anything more, I step toward her. “It matters to me, and I don’t believe that you want me to wait it out!”
“I can’t help you,” she says, her voice sharp and her eyes wild. “You need to go and figure this out. This is your decision. And yours alone.”
I run my hand through my hair, blowing out a brea
th. “I thought we were in this together.”
“Oh, don’t you dare,” she sneers, glaring at me. “We are in this together in the sense that whatever you choose, I am behind you, cheering you on. But I will not be the reason for you giving up your dreams and settling for something you aren’t sure you want.”
I shake my head. “Whatever. Thanks for nothing.”
“Go home, Ryan.”
I’m surprised how pissed I am as I look down at her. “What?”
“Go home. I’m not going to sit here and be guilt-tripped for wanting to support you in whatever you want to do. That’s not right.”
“Well, I think that’s all bullshit. I want your help. You claim to love me, want to be there for me, but can’t help me make a huge choice?”
“It’s not my fucking choice to make!” she yells, her hair starting to come loose from her bun. “And how dare you question or even think I don’t love and support you? You know what? Fuck it. I’ll go.”
With that, she turns on her toe and heads for the exit.
“Seriously?” I yell at her, and she shrugs, not looking back at me.
“Call me when you want to talk about anything but this.”
She’s gone, and I’m floored. “What the hell just happened?”
“You’re dumb as fuck.”
I look to my sister with wide eyes. “That was out of nowhere.”
“No, she told you from the rip, this is your decision and she’s there for you. You accused her of not loving you and not supporting you. To me, it seems you’re in the wrong and sort of a dumbass.”
I don’t feel any of that. I expected Sofia to help me with this. Really break it down and we’d make a decision together, but she’s basically saying to hell with that and making me do it all. We’re supposed to be a team, and this bullshit about it not being her choice is crap. What the hell? “And you’re ruining your life by going to Philly with that fuckface Drew. So really, who’s the dumbass in this family?”
She says something, but I ignore her, leaving the gym in a huff.
Well, this day went to shit real fast.
Chapter Forty-Six