by Toni Aleo
I want to say that I took in everything about the suite Sofia had apparently been saving for since Christmas. That I enjoyed the view of downtown Nashville or even the large bed in the middle of the room, but I’d be lying. The only thing that matters in this room is Sofia.
She undressed the moment we entered the room and then slowly undressed me, her mouth leaving trails of torture along my body. Our kisses were desperate, wanton, but nothing can compare to seeing her on my lap. Her legs are up on the bed, wide open, and her ass is against my cock as we stare at each other in the mirror. I’m trembling everywhere.
“Show me,” she whispers. “Show me how to do it.”
I know she is trying to distract me.
And she is very much succeeding.
I take her hand, bringing it up to my lips and sucking her fingers into my mouth before open-mouth kissing her palm. When her fingers are nice and wet, I guide them between her beautifully parted legs, her pristine pussy glistening at me as I move her fingers between her lips. “The key is moisture,” I whisper in her ear, licking her lobe. “You find this nub, right here. Oh yeah, you feel that?” She gasps, arching against our hands, and I honestly don’t know how I am supposed to make it through this. “And you flick.”
I show her, and her cries are a reward as I watch. I think she has it, so I remove my hand and I watch as she does just what I demonstrated. Her face is flushed, her eyes unsure, yet she’s confident as she moves her fingers along her wet, swollen lips. I’m breathless as I watch her, my cock so fucking hard it hurts. I trail my tongue along her ear, her neck, and then her jaw as she starts to speed up, her body quivering against mine. Her head falls back against my shoulder, and her moans are so loud and energetic, making it hard to see straight.
“That’s right, baby, you’re almost there. I can feel it, see it… Fuck, you’re so hot,” I whisper in her ear as her back arches into me. She’s so sexy, her pussy so wet and glistening as she moves her fingers along it. When she moves her fingers into her entrance, I hold my breath, my heart rising up in my throat. “Oh yes. Baby, yes.”
“Oh, Ryan,” she gasps, and my cock is straining against her ass. I want to enter her, bury myself so deep inside her I can’t see or hear anything. As she finger-fucks herself, her other hand coming to flick herself, I shake my head. She’s going to kill me.
She comes undone with one hell of cry, and she crumples against me. But we aren’t done.
Lifting her out of my lap, I lay her on the bed as I cover her body with mine, pushing her legs out of my way to the sides so I can fall between them. I kiss up her stomach, between her breasts to her chest, getting drunk on her scent and the feelings she gives me. I nuzzle her neck as she lengthens it for me, arching against me, her sweet, wet pussy teasing my cock.
“I liked that.”
“Me too,” I say roughly against her neck. “I almost came watching you come.”
“Mmm,” she moans, grinding against me, like she’s trying to get off once more. “I think I like it better when you do it.”
I chuckle against her jaw as I hiss out, “Well, I know how to make this body sing for sure. You’ll learn.”
I take her mouth, sloppily kissing her as I move her legs back against the bed. I almost enter her; man, I want to, but I need a condom. Reaching for one off the nightstand, I slide it down my cock quickly before returning to the place I need to be. I enter her in one thrust, and she groans, her hands coming to my waist, holding on. I dig my fingers into her thighs as I hold them down, and I begin to move into her with such need. There is nothing on this earth that I want more than to be inside her. To be one with her.
She meets each one of my thrusts, her eyes dark and nearly closing as she holds on. She’s so beautiful, so stunning, and I feel love in her gaze. She loves wholeheartedly, and I feel the same for her. Ten million times over. As my body goes tight and each thrust gets harder and deeper, I’m met with the most beautiful sounds from her. Sounds I’m unable to get out of my head. Sounds I don’t think I can live without. I look down at her. I love her. She respects me. She loves me.
I need her.
Everything goes tight, and then I explode. White lights fill my eyes as my body feels as if it’s shattering. My gut is tight, I think my balls have blown up, and my vision is full of spots. I fall on top of her, and she holds me in her arms, her lips trailing along my jaw, my cheek, my mouth. I move to the side of her so I don’t smother her, and she comes with me, her limbs wrapping around me. I close my eyes and nuzzle her hair, inhaling her scent as she holds me close, the silence surrounding us. I feel her arm move, and then the room goes dark. Her hands tuck under my chin, and I am at home.
Her hands, my chin, our hearts pounding…
I’m safe.
“What are you thinking?”
Her words are soft, quiet, but what she wants to know comes through loud and clear. “I’m thinking about what I want.”
“Which is?”
I move my lips along her scorching skin and inhale deeply. “I know I can make it in the NHL, but Ontario will be a lot of work, and I could still not make it. What sticks with me is that when he said he couldn’t get me anything here, that Ontario was my only option, I didn’t get upset. I wasn’t sad or bummed. I didn’t feel this overwhelming sense of failure like I thought I would. I just thought, shit, do I want to try or do I want to stay here?” I exhale as I grip her tighter. “I don’t want to go to Ontario, but I want to play.”
“I understand all of that,” she says, threading her fingers through my hair. “But what does your heart say?”
It says Sofia, but she doesn’t want to hear that.
“Because, no matter what it says, know I’m right here. I’m freaking out, waiting to know what you want to do. But whatever you choose, I’m with you, Ryan. Always. I can wear a snow hat, or I can be home when you come back from every road trip. Whatever you want, I am in it to win it. With you.”
My eyes burn as I look into her sweet face. “You deserve—”
“You. You, Ryan. Only you. You just gotta figure out where we’ll be at the end of the game.”
I want to be with her. I don’t care about anything else because she’s my end game.
My eyes burn as I hold her close. “I’m just confused.”
“Okay,” she says softly. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Hold me?”
“Done,” she says, holding me closer before she places a kiss to my jaw.
“Love me, even though I drive you insane?”
She giggles against my skin. “Been doing that.”
“Maybe a blow job in a bit?”
“Already planned it.”
I smirk against her cheek, and I feel her smile against mine. “I love you, Sofia.”
“I love you more, Ryan.”
“If you say so,” I say, because she doesn’t.
There’s no way.
I love her more than I love myself.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Ryan
I wore her out.
Or she wore herself out by working the hell out of me. I’m unsure, but Sofia is passed out in the bed.
Sitting in the big fluffy chair in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, I gaze out at the Nashville skyline. I’m naked as the day I was born, but in the pitch black, I don’t care.
I just need to think.
For some reason, I’m taken back to the first day I picked up a hockey stick. I was maybe three, and Shea was so excited. He bought me all my gear, and he taught me everything. I was so hyper and ready to go. I was going to be a hockey player like Unky Shea. Fast-forward ten years, and I was in my first tournament. We got our asses handed to us, but we were a brotherhood. To this day, I’m still friends with those guys. It’s one of my favorite things about hockey, the brotherhood. None of those guys made it to the NHL. They all lost interest, but I didn’t. I was determined. I was going to make it, make my uncle proud—and my dad.
I’m pro
ud of you no matter what, Ryan. You’re my boy. Do what makes you happy.
I close my eyes, hearing my dad in my head on the day he died. He held my hand, he looked me in my eye, and he uttered those words to me. It shattered me, but his words have been my constant companion. For the last three years, I’ve been pushing to make him proud. Or maybe I was killing myself to make myself proud. If I’m honest with myself, I don’t love being coached. It puts too much pressure on me, and I’m entirely too hard on myself.
I should take the training job. But will I be happy watching other guys live their dreams? I can’t help but think that Shea would be disappointed in me. That Amelia would think I’d failed. I’m supposed to be the example for her and my cousins. If I take it, I’m giving up on my dream.
Damn it, why is this so hard?
And why is the pressure so fucking stifling?
I hear movement beside me, and then I see her sashaying my way.
My girl.
“Baby?”
She stumbles toward me, pushing her hair off her shoulders. “Hey, what are you doing?” she asks, crawling into my lap and cuddling closer into my chest, perfectly naked. As she tucks her hands under my jaw, she yawns loudly. “Can’t sleep?”
I shake my head. “No, too much to think about.”
“Oh,” she says softly, and silence stretches between us.
With emotion suffocating me, I ask, “Remember when I asked you if you’d love me even if I was a failure?”
“Yeah,” she whispers, tipping her head back, her lips grazing along my jaw. “I told you you’d never be a failure, though.”
“You did,” I agree, my hand moving up and down her back. “I’m sitting here, and I’m thinking about my cousins and Amelia. How if I don’t go for the Ontario gig, that I would be giving up on my dream and letting them down.”
She slowly moves her head up and down. “I disagree, but go on…”
“No, tell me why you disagree.”
“Because they all love you. Anyone who loves you would never see you as giving up on your dreams or being a failure. Ryan, you’d be doing what makes you happy. They’d admire that and want to do the same.”
I chew on her words for a moment, going over and over them in my head. My family loves me, and they’ve always said no matter what I do, they would be proud of me. I almost want to call Shea and make sure he wouldn’t be disappointed if I didn’t go to Ontario, but I don’t want that pressure. But then again, would I care? When he told me earlier that he wanted me not to take the job with the Assassins, I was with Elli. I wanted to take it. Even now, I think I want it. I just don’t want to let anyone down.
I inhale deeply as I move my lips along her hair. “Sofia.”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want to go to Ontario.”
I feel her still in my arms. “Okay…”
“I want to take the job with the Assassins, and this is why,” I say as she sits up, looking down at me. The moonlight is spilling over her skin and her face. “When I was offered the job, I was shocked and so fucking proud of myself. I was torn because I wanted to be in the NHL, but I was stoked. I had done something not many people can do, you know?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
“But when Mick told me about the Ontario gig, I wasn’t excited. Not even a little bit. If this is my dream, I should be ecstatic for it.”
“I agree.”
“And I know you aren’t going to like this, but one of the main reasons I wasn’t even the least bit excited was because I knew I wouldn’t truly be with you for a really long time, and I’m not okay with that—”
“Ryan—”
“No, Sof, let me get this out.”
Her eyes bore into mine, and I reach out, taking her sweet face in my hands. “The NHL isn’t my dream anymore. I think the NHL stopped being my dream when I realized I couldn’t just land on my aunt’s team right off the bat. It stopped being my dream when I came to terms with the fact that I’m not my uncle and I’m never going to be. Just like my dream, I’ve changed. And, Sofia, it’s all because of you.”
“Ryan,” she says breathlessly, and my heart stops dead in my chest.
“I know you don’t want to hear that. I know you want me to do what I want, what I love, or what makes me happy. But what makes me happy is being here with my family. Being a part of the Assassins, the team that, for the last four years, I thought I couldn’t be a part of. But above all, being with you is what makes my day worth a damn. I want to be with you.”
“Are you sure, Ryan? I mean—”
“I have a new goal.”
“I don’t want to come between you and your goals, but Ryan, you have to be confident in your choice and promise you won’t resent me.”
I hold her gaze. “Do you want to hear my new goal?”
I can see her eyes filling with tears as she nods. “Yes, of course I do.”
I swallow hard as I run my thumb along her jaw. “I want to be the youngest athletic trainer the Assassins have ever had. I want to help my uncle coach my baby cousins. I want to be there for my mom since Amelia is leaving. I want to wake up every morning and see your face.”
A sob leaves her lips, and she shakes her head. “Oh, Ryan.”
“I want to make love to you every night. I don’t want to miss all the tens you’ll get, and I want to be there when we move your mom here. I want to push you to live your dreams, and I want to help make them happen. I want to be there to open the gym, and I want to help you set it up. I’m strong, and you know I can carry shit.”
Her lips quiver as she leans into me, her nose brushing against mine. “You can.”
“I want to run with you every morning and not hate every moment because we’ll be together. I want to hold you when you cry. I want to kiss you because I fucking can. I want to love you, every second of every day, and I want you to see it, feel it. What is the point of a life if it’s not what you want?”
“Exactly, Ryan. That, that right there. Will it be what you want if you’re not in the NHL?”
“It’ll be more than what I want. More than I could ever dream of, because I’ll have you.”
“Are you sure?” she asks, her voice breaking.
I close my eyes, emotion taking over as I hold her close. “You told me that forever isn’t enough time for us, and you were right. I have everything I want here, everything that makes me happy, plus a crazy awesome job offer. Above all that, I have a smoking hot girlfriend, one I really love.”
“But what if you stop loving me? What happens then?”
“First, not happening. But if for some stupid reason that does happen, it would be all your fault,” I accuse, and she snorts, her lips curving up in the most gorgeous way ever. “Then, yeah, after I got over you, after I picked up the pieces of my broken heart, I would be good. But that’s all what-if bullshit ’cause it isn’t happening.”
She doesn’t say anything for a whole minute; she just stares at me, her tears running down her cheeks as she gazes into my eyes. “I didn’t want you to leave,” she cries, wrapping her arms around me tightly. “I wanted you to stay, but I needed you to do it on your own. I honestly think you’re making the best choice. You love training, you love the team, and you love being in control. I don’t think you have that as a hockey player. I think you get too much in your head. You need to be able to think freely without the pressure of making everyone else happy, making people proud because, Ryan, everyone already is. You’re freaking amazing. I don’t know how you don’t see what I see.”
“I do, Sofia. I do when I look in your eyes.”
“Yes, because I see you for you,” she cries, kissing my lips over and over again. “You are going to be the best trainer, and I’ll be there every morning and every night cheering you on, because I want the best for you.”
“I want the best for you, and not to sound too conceited, but I think it’s me.”
She laughs, the sound so beautiful in this dark room. “No, it’s perf
ect because it’s true. We fit, we work, and as long as you want me, I want you.”
“Which will be forever,” I promise, and her face lights up, her arms squeezing me tightly.
“Good. I want it. I want it all with you, because the thing is, Ryan, you’re my perfect ten. I never thought I’d meet anyone like you, and you came out of nowhere. I swear it, Ryan, you’re mine. I don’t want anything but the best for you.”
I let out the breath I was holding, hugging her close to me as I whisper, “You’re mine. I feel it everywhere, and I just know this is it.”
“It is.”
“So, we’re doing this.”
“Oh, Ryan, baby, we were doing this before you decided to take the trainer position. Now we just get to do it together.”
I shake my head as I gaze into her cloudy eyes. I keep trying to figure out how I got this girl, and I decided it’s all my dad’s doing. It has to be. She was handpicked for me. Made for me.
“I was made to love you. Do you know what I’m saying? Shit, Sofia. I love you. Completely.”
As her lips meet mine, she stares into my eyes. “I’ve never heard a truer statement in my whole entire life.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, and damn it, I love you. I love you so much it physically hurts me.”
Capturing her lips, I get lost in the feel of her, the taste of her. When she pulls away, I go for more, until her hand comes up to stop me.
“We’re going to have an amazing life.”
“The best,” I promise. “I hope you’re ready.”
She chuckles, her eyes burning into mine. “No, I hope you’re ready.”
I’ve never been so ready for something in my life.
A life with Sofia Castilleja is the only thing I always knew I wanted.
Epilogue
Sofia
Five years later…
Standing in the middle of the teal floor that my gymnasts will use in a matter of hours, I fight back the tears.
I did it.
I graduated with my 4.0, mostly thanks to Ryan. I don’t remember a night when we weren’t either on FaceTime or in my dorm and he wasn’t helping me with homework. It was hard, but I was going to get the grades I needed to get my bonus. What I didn’t realize was that when I got it, Ryan would be the one to give it to me.