More Than Words: Acts of Kindness: Whispers of the HeartIt's Not About the DressThe Princess Shoes

by Brenda Jackson

  He lifted a brow. “And?”

  “And I wanted your permission to invite Heather.”

  She could tell by his expression that he had a problem giving it. His next words confirmed her observation. “We’ve been over this before, Michelle, and I don’t understand why you feel Heather needs a management plan. What happened to her a few weeks ago—”

  “Could happen again, Paul,” she interjected. “Why is it so hard for you to understand that, or better yet, why are you refusing to do so?”

  He frowned. “Mainly because I don’t think Heather’s condition is as serious as you tend to make it.”

  Michelle sighed. And that was the problem. Most people underestimated the seriousness of asthma symptoms until it was too late. “A few weeks ago, you said you wanted us to build a relationship, yet even now you refuse to take seriously something that I know and feel very strongly about.”

  “It’s not that I don’t take it seriously. It’s just I don’t think it applies to Heather. Do you really think I’d jeopardize my daughter’s health?”

  “No, I don’t think that, Paul.”

  “Then what, exactly, do you think?”

  They were doing nothing but going around in circles, as far as she was concerned. “Let’s just drop it.”

  She felt him closing her out again. How could they pursue a serious relationship when he constantly did that?

  She was not surprised when he refused her invitation to join her for coffee and a snack at her place, saying he had a big project to work on. She knew he was intentionally putting distance between them.

  That was fine; she would deal with it...or maybe she wouldn’t. She had hoped his attitude would change once they began seeing each other, but it hadn’t.

  There was more to building a relationship than the occasional dinner together, some heated kisses. There was also that shared sense of connection, the feeling that your thoughts and deepest convictions were taken seriously. And that was what disturbed her the most, knowing that even after all this time, she and Paul were no closer to resolving their differences about Heather’s condition than they had been before.

  * * *

  MS. AMY WAS staring at her.

  “What is it?” Michelle asked.

  “You look rather sad,” the older woman said with concern in her eyes.

  Michelle drew in a deep breath and then slowly exhaled. Ms. Amy had dropped by for lunch and they were sitting in the kitchen, eating chicken-salad sandwiches and enjoying cold glasses of lemonade. They had been talking about the weather, when Michelle’s mind had wandered and she’d begun thinking about Paul. The last time she had seen him was almost a week ago. He had called once or twice to say he was tied up with a major client, but part of her felt he was deliberately putting distance between them.

  “Do I?” she asked now, deciding not to pretend for the older woman. It wouldn’t do any good anyway. She was sure Ms. Amy was fully aware things had cooled between them.

  “Do you want to talk about it, Michelle?”

  Michelle took another sip of her lemonade, knowing it wouldn’t help to talk about it. Things were as they were, and wishing wouldn’t change that.

  Suddenly, an emotion she thought she would never feel again ripped through her, making her tremble so much that she had to place the glass she was holding on the table.

  “Michelle? Are you okay?”

  She glanced over at Ms. Amy and swallowed. How could she explain that she’d just realized she had fallen in love with Paul?

  She was spared from having to explain anything when her phone rang. “Excuse me.” She got up from the table to answer it.

  She recognized Paul’s voice immediately, and another shiver ran up her spine. Regardless of how things were between them, she missed him. But the pleasure she’d felt at hearing his voice suddenly died. “When?” she asked as she tried to calm her racing heart.

  At his response, she nodded. “All right, I’m on my way.”

  She quickly hung up and glanced over at Ms. Amy. “That was Paul. He was calling from the hospital. Heather was taken there from school after suffering another asthma attack.”

  * * *

  MICHELLE ARRIVED AT THE hospital and went straight to the E.R. Paul was sitting in the waiting room but rushed over when he saw her. He pulled her into his arms and clung to her tightly.

  When he drew back moments later, she saw the haggard look on his face. “I should have listened to you,” he said brokenly. “How many times did you suggest that I check into Heather’s condition? I should have taken her to the doctor! Then this wouldn’t have happened. She’s on a ventilator now and I can’t even see her.”

  Michelle led him back to the chair. “What did the doctor say?”

  “She had another asthma attack. I spoke with the school principal and she said she knew it was an asthma attack because of the in-service class you taught a few weeks ago. She followed the instructions in the materials supplied by your organization. Otherwise they don’t know what they would have done.”

  He sighed deeply and then said in a shaken voice, “Twice now you’ve saved my daughter’s life, and I want to thank you and that organization you volunteer for.”

  Michelle didn’t say anything as Paul continued to grip her hand. She could imagine what he was going through. By the time she’d reached her sixteenth birthday she had been hospitalized for the condition at least five times. That was one of the reasons she volunteered for AANMA. There were so many people who assumed that asthma was a way of life and had no idea it was also a way of death if not treated properly.

  “I should have taken her to the doctor,” Paul said again.

  Michelle knew she didn’t have to tell him he should have. He wasn’t the first and, unfortunately, he wouldn’t be the last who would make that mistake. The important thing now was for Heather to get better.

  “Have you seen her at all?” she asked him.

  “I saw her briefly when I first got here. She was gasping for breath, could barely breathe. The doctor asked me to step out while they connected her to a ventilator. That was over an hour ago. What’s happening to her? What is the asthma doing to her?”

  That, at least, was something Michelle could explain. “When asthma occurs, usually three things happen. The lining of the airway swells. Cells overproduce mucus, which starts clogging the passageways, and the surrounding muscles tighten.”

  “What do you think brought it on?” he asked.

  She inhaled deeply. “It could have been caused by a number of things. The doctor should be able to give you more specifics when you talk to him.”

  Paul glanced around nervously. “Why is it taking so long? When will they give me an update about how she’s doing?”

  Michelle understood his frustration. “I’m sure they will soon. For now let’s just give them time to do what’s needed.”

  Paul nodded and squeezed her hand again. “Thanks for being here with me, Michelle.”

  “Under the circumstances, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

  And she meant it. Paul and Heather had become part of her life. She looked forward to Heather’s after-school visits, and when the teen had mentioned she would love to learn how to bake, they had discussed the possibility of Michelle starting a cooking class on Saturday mornings for some of the young women in the community.

  “Mr. Castlewood?” It was Heather’s doctor, Paul quickly told her.

  Paul quickly got to his feet, pulling Michelle with him. “How is she?” he asked, sounding on the verge of panic.

  “Heather will be okay. We’ve sedated her and she’s resting comfortably now. We’re not sure what brought on this attack but we’re doing a series of tests to pinpoint the cause.”

  “I thought she had outgrown her asthma,” Paul said, sounding defeated.

  The doctor nodded in understanding. “A lot of parents think that, especially if an attack hasn’t taken place in a while. Asthma attacks can be separated by years. Tha
t doesn’t mean the condition is gone. You and Heather are new to this area. The attacks could be caused by her body getting used to the air she’s now breathing. There are a number of paper mills down the road in Brunswick.”

  “I’ll do whatever I have to. Even move away if that will make my daughter better.”

  “I don’t think you have to go that far,” the doctor said wryly. “We just need to establish Heather on a solid asthma management plan. Pretty soon she’ll be leaving for college. You’ll want her to be able to live a fulfilling life anywhere in the country she wants to go, not someplace that’s dictated by her condition.”

  Paul nodded. “When can I see my daughter?”

  “You can see her now, but you need to know what to expect. She’s sedated, of course, and on a ventilator to help her breathe, and there are a lot of tubes connecting her to the machine. If her condition continues to improve, we’ll be able to remove the ventilator so she can breathe on her own by tomorrow.”

  Moments later, walking hand in hand, Paul and Michelle followed a nurse through the E.R. doors to the intensive care unit. Michelle felt Paul’s fingers tighten on hers the moment he saw his daughter, and standing so close to him, she could feel his body tremble.

  “Remember what the doctor said, Paul. Heather is going to be okay.”

  Instead of answering, he pulled her into his arms, as if he needed whatever strength she had to pass on to him.

  “I let my little girl down,” he said moments later when he released her and glanced over at the bed.

  “No, you didn’t,” Michelle said softly. “You didn’t fully know or understand her condition. But you do now, and organizations like AANMA can help out. The important thing is for us to get Heather well and to keep her that way.”

  Paul lifted Michelle’s hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “Us,” he said softly, meeting her gaze.

  She smiled, not wanting to read more into the word, not exactly certain what he was implying. But for the moment, she wanted to reassure him. “Yes. Us.”

  * * *

  NOT WANTING TO LEAVE Heather alone, they both remained at the hospital for the rest of the day. In the wee hours of the night, they rotated watch duty so each of them could go home to shower and change clothes.

  Jason visited the next morning, and Michelle could tell how shaken up he was about what had happened to Heather. She was appreciative when Paul took Jason downstairs to talk to him, to reassure the young man that Heather would be okay. She knew Paul’s respect and admiration for Jason had gone up another notch.

  The doctors decided that, since Heather was breathing comfortably on her own, they would remove the ventilator. However, it would be a few hours before the sedation wore off and she opened her eyes to acknowledge their presence.

  Michelle and Paul were in the room when she came to, and she smiled at them before quickly dozing off again. Paul, overjoyed at seeing that his daughter was doing a lot better, pulled Michelle into his arms and kissed her, letting her feel all the happiness that was a part of him at that very moment.

  “Wow! I liked that,” Michelle said, smiling up at him when he ended the kiss.

  He chuckled. “Glad to hear it, because I happen to like you.”

  A few moments later, when a nurse came in to take Heather’s vital signs, they decided to go downstairs to the coffee shop. They were about to get on the elevator when Rachel Summers stepped off.

  “Hey, Rachel.” When Michelle saw the stricken look on the young girl’s face, she quickly asked, “Are you okay?”

  “I wanted to see how Heather is doing. I wasn’t at school yesterday, and when I got there today, everyone was saying she was in a bad way and they had to call an ambulance.”

  “Yes, but she’s doing better now,” Paul said reassuringly.

  “Do you think I can see her? Heather has been a good friend to me.” Rachel wiped away her tears.

  “Well, I’m sure she’d be glad to see you,” Michelle said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “But you’ll have to check with the nurse. I think visitors are limited in Intensive Care.”

  Rachel’s features brightened. “I’ll go find out. Thanks.”

  Paul and Michelle watched as the girl quickly walked away, and then Paul punched the elevator button again. “Do you know what I think?” he asked Michelle when Rachel was no longer in sight.

  “No, what do you think?”

  “I think that somehow Heather has been a positive influence in Rachel’s life.”

  Michelle smiled. “Yes, I think you’re right.”

  * * *

  “I HOPE I NEVER have to go through anything like that again,” Heather was saying as she sat up in bed in her hospital room. Paul and Michelle had returned to find that Rachel was there and Jason had returned. Heather was anxiously awaiting her first meal in over twenty-four hours.

  “Michelle and I are going to make sure you don’t,” Paul said, pulling Michelle to his side and placing his arm around her shoulders. “There’s this asthma network that Michelle is affiliated with, and they’re going to help us set up an asthma management plan for you. We spoke with your doctor earlier and he will be working with the team on it.”

  “Cool. And do you know what would be even cooler, Dad?”

  “No, what?”

  “If you and Ms. Chapman could get a little serious.”

  Paul looked confused. “About what?”

  “Each other.”

  He couldn’t help but laugh out loud at his daughter’s candidness. “Michelle and I are serious about each other. We’re just taking things one day at a time and getting to know each other better. When we think the time is right to make any kind of commitment, you’ll be the first to know.”

  “Promise?”

  Paul took Michelle’s hand in his and held it up for his daughter to see. He smiled at Michelle before turning back to Heather. “Yes, we promise. But the most important thing is for you to get well so we can get out of here and back home.”

  * * *

  HEATHER, DRIVEN BY the belief that her father’s happiness hinged on her good health, worked hard at recovering. On the fourth day she was overjoyed that the doctor released her from the hospital. Once back home, she was her old self again.

  “Not so fast, young lady,” Paul had to say when she immediately wanted to get on the phone to call all of her friends. “The first thing you’re going to do is subscribe to that Allergy and Asthma Today magazine. I borrowed a copy from Michelle and it’s very informative reading.”

  Heather rolled her eyes. “I’m taking your word for it, Dad.”

  Later that day, Paul went over to Michelle’s place. She was busy taking a batch of chocolate-chip squares out of the oven, and invited Paul to eat a couple with a glass of milk.

  “Thanks,” he said, sliding into a chair at the table. “But first...” Reaching out, he snagged her elbow and pulled her down into his lap.

  She grinned at him. “Is there a reason you’re keeping me from my work?”

  He smiled. “Yes. This.”

  And then he captured her mouth with his, kissing her thoroughly. She moaned, aware of the intense desire that consumed them both. When Paul finally ended the kiss, he pressed his forehead against hers and sighed deeply.

  His heart was pounding rapidly in his chest and he knew now was the time. She had been there for him. And for Heather. He enjoyed her company, but most importantly, he loved her. This strong emotion he was feeling, that he had been feeling for quite a while, just had to be love.

  “I need to explain something to you.”

  She looked at him. “What?”

  “The reason I didn’t want to accept that Heather hadn’t outgrown her asthma.”

  “Okay, what’s the reason?”

  “Emma, my ex-wife. She never wanted children, and Heather was not planned.... She never let me forget it. She tried convincing me that we weren’t ready for a baby and she should get an abortion. I was totally against it. The day
Heather was born, Emma looked at her and had the nerve to say that she would be nothing but trouble for us. And each time Heather got sick for any reason, I always got an ‘I told you so’ glare from her mom. It wasn’t that Heather was a sickly child. She had the normal childhood illnesses, but Emma would use any reason to try and make her point. And after our daughter’s first asthma attack, Emma left. She walked out of my life and Heather’s.”

  He sighed. “I’ve been protective of Heather since then, probably overprotective. And when you kept bringing up the possibility that she had this condition that could come back, instead of taking your warning in a positive way, I took it as a negative.”

  Michelle nodded as understanding dawned. “The last thing you needed was another woman dwelling on the issue of your daughter’s health.”

  “Yes. And that’s why I always went on the defensive about it. I was wrong in doing that and I apologize. You have been the best thing to come into our lives. We love you. I love you.”

  He took her hand in his. “Marry me,” he whispered, feeling the words coming straight from his heart. “If you want we can have a long engagement, but I want to know you are promised to me and one day our futures will be entwined. Will you marry me?”

  Tears clouded Michelle’s eyes. She didn’t need any additional time to think about it. When Paul had told her about his ex and that she hadn’t loved the child they had made together, Michelle’s heart had gone out to both Paul and Heather. She knew that she was willing to step in and be the woman they needed in their lives, and to love them unconditionally.

  “Yes, I’ll marry you,” she said, her voice quavering with all the emotions she felt. “And it doesn’t matter what the state of Heather’s health is. I will always love her. I promise.”

  And then she leaned in and gave him a kiss that sealed their love and the promise she had just made. He was everything she could want in a man, and Heather was all that she wanted in a daughter. Her life was filled with more happiness than she thought possible. And she was ready to move toward the next stage of her life. With Paul.