In Her Hands

by Rebekah Blackmore

  If Ronnie was honest with herself, she was just as baffled by the end of the marriage as she was the termination of Andrea's parental rights. Andrea must not have had a single brain cell to think that her life would be better without Amy in it. Hell, Ronnie had only known the woman for a few months, and she couldn't figure out how she had lasted without the woman in her life before they met. She was beautiful, and intelligent, and the best friend that Ronnie had ever had, especially in the short amount of time they had known each other.

  Ronnie's emotions must have been on her face clear as day, because Laci snorted before shaking her head. Ronnie looked at her in confusion, furrowing her brows and tilting her head. “You really are crazy about her, Ron. You need to just come out and admit it.” She took the lid off her coffee cup and swirled the liquid before covering the cup up and looking back at Ronnie. “The quicker you admit it, the quicker you can get back to being that quirky ‘strictly dickly’ girl we all know and－oh, hi, Ms. Vascar, we weren't expecting to see you today!”

  Ronnie jumped, her hands flying up to fix her hair and her cheeks burning as she turned around to look behind her. There was no one there.

  Ronnie started to glance around to see if she had missed Amy, but she stopped when she heard giggles across the table. She slowly turned back around, her eyes narrowed into slits as she looked at Laci, who had her nose scrunched up and her fist over her mouth. “That was mean, Lacianne.”

  Laci lowered her hand and grinned, picking up her cup and hiding behind the lid. “Proved my point, Ron. You're so sprung on her.”

  Ronnie rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She let out a slow breath through her nose and reached out for her phone, tapping the back of the device before flipping it over. She had four missed text messages from Amy, and one photo message.

  She stared at the screen before sliding her phone off the table and sticking it in her pocket. “Okay, well, I better get back to my patients. They are allowed to have an overactive imagination.” She gave Laci a pointed look.

  Laci laughed again and stuck out her tongue. Ronnie shook her head and began to walk back in the direction of her wing. As she walked, Ronnie couldn't help herself and pulled her phone back out of her pocket. She unlocked the screen and opened the messages, ignoring the texts and going straight to the picture, jumping when a second picture message popped though.

  Ronnie opened the first picture. It was of Morrison and Tommy sitting on the couch with a large stuffed dinosaur. Tommy had his arm around the stuffed animal, his cheek resting against the top of the of its head. His hair was freshly cut, and was slicked forward to flip up against his forehead. Morrison was sitting on the dinosaurs other side. She had her fists under her chin and was clearly posing. She was in a new dress with her hair in two pigtails, light pink ribbons hanging in loose bows against her curls.

  Ronnie felt a rush of warmth as she looked at the picture. She was really fortunate to know those two kids.

  She closed out of the photo and glanced at the message that went along with it. [Received 03/10/2020. 14:02. From: Amy] Tommy and Morrie want you to meet their new friend. Come over for dinner tonight?

  Ronnie twisted her lips up to the side. [Sent: 03/10/2020. 15:37. To: Amy] I can't tonight－it's my anniversary. Rain check?

  She thought for a moment before typing out another message. [Sent: 3/10/2020. 15:38. To: Amy]. Morrison and Tommy look adorable. Why are they so dressed up?

  She sent the message before opening the next picture. Once it loaded, she froze in her tracks, her breath catching and her mouth going dry. Amy had sent her a selfie where she, like the kids, was dressed up. Her makeup made her eyes pop, her long bob was curled around her face, and the sweetheart neckline of her burgundy dress was cut low enough to show the beginning swell of Amy's cleavage.

  Ronnie closed out of the picture and closed her eyes, taking a few breaths and counting to ten. She really needed to stop being startled by how stunning her friend was. It made Ronnie feel all sorts of－no, she just coveted Amy's beauty. It didn't have any effect on Ronnie's emotions other than that.

  Definitely. Yeah, that had to be true.

  Ronnie opened her eyes when her phone buzzed again. She opened the message cautiously, biting her lower lip as she waited to see if it is was a standard message or another picture.

  Fortunately, the message was just a text, about how Amy and the kids had gotten new family pictures done. Ronnie sent back a smiley face emoticon and put her phone in her pocket before walking into her first patient's room.

  The doctor was already in the room talking to the parents, so Ronnie smiled at the patient, who was a twelve-year-old named Marisa. Marisa had a brain tumor, and she was due to have surgery the next day. The doctor was explaining the surgery, and Marisa looked terrified, her jaw clenched and her eyes wide.

  Ronnie went over to the bed and pulled a sucker out of her pocket, winking at Marisa as she handed it to her. Marisa took the lollipop, staring at it for a moment before pulling the wrapper off and popping the candy in her mouth.

  “Hey, I’m going to take your vitals, is that okay?” Ronnie whispered, unwinding her stethoscope from around her neck and moving it towards Marisa’s chest. Marisa nodded, so Ronnie started checking her heart rate and listening to her lungs.

  By the time that Ronnie had gotten most of Marisa’s information written on her chart, the doctor had left the room, as had Marisa’s father. Marisa’s mother was still standing next to Marisa’s bed, but when her phone rang, she left the room, too.

  Marisa’s face fell as she watched her mother leave. She fiddled with a stray thread and twisted her lips up to the side, staring at the floor.

  Ronnie studied the girl for a moment before pulling up a chair next to the bed and sitting down. “So, what are you working on?” Ronnie asked, gesturing at the sketchbook lying on the night table.

  Marisa picked the book up bashfully and turned it around so Ronnie could see the picture. The drawing was of a girl that looked very similar to Marisa, although the girl’s luscious chocolate curls were missing in the drawing. The girl in the drawing looked thinner, too, and her eyes were more sunken.

  “That’s a beautiful picture,” Ronnie said, taking the book from Marisa and looking at the details. “You’re incredibly talented.”

  Marisa shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.” She sighed and slumped down.

  Ronnie cocked her head at her. “What’s wrong?” Marisa shrugged again. Ronnie shook her head. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

  Marisa bit her lip before saying, “What if I don’t look good without hair? I love my hair.”

  “Hey, consider yourself lucky.” Ronny held out her ponytail, pointing to fried ends. “You get to start fresh. Damage to your hair? Done. Over with. You won’t have to worry about split ends or heat damage anymore.” She leaned forward, putting her elbows on her thighs. “Besides, your eyes are going to pop. They’re already gorgeous, but wow. All people are going to be able to see is your eyes.”

  Marisa giggled, her smile coming back. She twisted one of her curls around her finger. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” Ronnie handed her back the sketchbook and stood up. “If you need anything let me know, all right? Otherwise I’ll be back later to check on you.”

  “Okay. Bye.”

  Ronnie gave Marisa another smile before leaving the room and going back to the nurses station. She sat down at the computer and groaned when she saw the email that one of her patients were getting discharged, and that she had mountains upon mountains of paperwork to complete before they could leave.

  Let the fun begin.

  10

  Two hours later, Ronnie was finally finished with her paperwork. She stacked all the documents and filed them away as she chatted with another nurse. “So how did the first day back go?” Ronnie asked, kicking her feet out and crossing her fingers over her stomach.

  Connie shrugged and pulled out her phone. “It went okay, but I can’t wait to get home. Vincent h
as been sending me pictures of Edie all day. I hate that I’m not home with her.” She clicked a few buttons on her phone before turning it around, showing the picture to Ronnie.

  The infant already had a head full of blonde curls, just like Morrison’s. It made her miss the little girl, and made her even more aware of the heavy weight of her phone in her pocket. It had been vibrating on and off since Ronnie had started her paperwork, and Ronnie had done everything she could to keep herself from checking the messages.

  “She’s absolutely beautiful, Connie. Congratulations.” Ronnie looked down at the desk as her pager beeped, alerting her that one of her patients had hit the call button. Ronnie silenced the pager and shoved it in her pocket, standing up. “Well, at least there’s only a half-hour to go, and then you’ll be home with her. If I don't see you, have a good night.”

  “You, too.”

  Ronnie walked down the hall and entered her patient’s room, hitting the call light next to the door before going over to the bed. The patient, a six-year-old boy named Eli, was lying on the bed, both of his legs propped up on at the end of the bed and his hips supported by a pillow. He had been hit by a car that was speeding down his street, and his entire lower body had been shattered by the force of the crash. He dealt with the pain like a champ, and was in good spirits more often than not.

  Ronnie smiled as she knocked on the door frame. Eli stopped humming and lowered his Hotwheels, his face lighting up when he saw the nurse. “Hi, Ronnie!” he said, waving one of the cars in greeting.

  “Hello, Eli.” Ronnie walked over and sat down in the chair next to the bed. “Did you need me for something?”

  Eli nodded, holding out one of his cars. “I wanted to give this to you! My mom promised me that she’d bring me a new car after work, so I need to get rid of some of mine to make room for that one.” He pointed to a shoebox that was sitting on the table next to him. “She said I can give some of those to some of the other kids here, but that car is special.”

  “Well, I promise I will take great care of this.” She pretended to drive the car on the bed, making car noises. Eli giggled and started to drive his car, too, pretending to chase Ronnie’s car around the bed.

  After a few minutes of playing, there was another knock on the door frame. Ronnie and Eli looked up to see Eli’s mother, Wendy, standing there with a bag from an antique toy store. She had a tired smile on her face, and looked like she was about to fall asleep standing up. She held a jumbo-sized coffee cup in her other hand, her three-carat diamond engagement ring sparkling in the florescent hospital lights.

  “May I interrupt?” Wendy said, coming over and putting the bag down next to Eli’s other cars.

  Eli let out an excited squeal and started tearing into the bag. Ronnie got up and held the chair out for Wendy to sit down before handing her car back to Eli. “Can you hold on to this for me while I’m working? I don’t want it to get lost.”

  Eli nodded, but he was too interested in his new toy to formulate a response. Ronnie turned back to Wendy, who was pulling her jacket off and fidgeting in the chair. “Is there anything that you need before I head out?”

  Wendy shook her head. Ronnie squeezed her shoulder in comfort before leaving the room and going down the hall to the recreation room, where her other two patients had spent the majority of their day. The two girls, Penny and Allie, had met each other in their many sessions of chemo, and could often be found together whenever one or the other was in the hospital. They were working on an art project together while their parents sat at a table in the corner of the room, talking and laughing while their children played.

  Ronnie went to the table and squatted down in front of the girls. “Do you two need anything before I leave?”

  Allie nodded, her eyes lighting up. “More glitter!”

  Ronnie chuckled and stood up, going over to the cabinet and grabbing a bottle of silver glitter and a bottle of gold glitter. She took the bottles back over the the table. “Anything else?”

  Penny and Allie shook their heads. Ronnie went over to the parents and asked the same thing. She was once again told that they were fine, so Ronnie made her way back to the nurses station and signed into the computer. She checked her email and made sure there weren't any updates for any of her patients’ care before signing out. She went to the employee lounge and grabbed her purse and her sweater from her locker.

  Her phone vibrated as she walked down to her car. She looked down at the screen to see that Kenny was calling her. She hit the “answer” button and raised her phone up to her ear. “Hello?”

  “Hey, baby. Have you left yet?”

  “I'm walking out now.”

  “Cool, cool. Hey, I was thinking pasta for dinner. Maybe Fazollis? I've got a mad craving for their spaghetti.” Ronnie could hear the smile in his voice. “Besides, I have a surprise for you.”

  “I can't wait.” Ronnie unlocked her car and got inside. She started the engine and tilted her head, trapping her phone between her cheek and her shoulder. “I'm leaving now.”

  “Okay. Drive safe.”

  “I will. Love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Ronnie let her phone fall to her lap. She ended the call and put her phone in her bag, zipping it closed and putting the bag on the seat. Before she pulled out of her spot, she remembered how crazy her phone had been going while she was working.

  Ronnie pulled her phone back out and unlocked screen. She went to her messages, unsurprised to see that she had six messages, three of which were picture messages. She opened the normal texts first, chuckling when she saw what Amy had said.

  [Received 03/10/2020. 16:20. From: Amy]. Tommy and Morrie's new friend isn't that dinosaur. I sent the wrong picture.

  [Received 03/10/2020. 16:23. From: Amy]. Meet Tadpole! He's a weimaraner, and he's eight weeks old.

  [Received 03/10/2020. 16:37. From: Amy]. Tommy named him－apparently they are doing a BIG unit on the life cycle of frogs at school. Morrie's vote was for 'Morrison Elaine.' Silly little girl.

  Ronnie smiled at the messages before going to the pictures, which made the text messages make a lot more sense. The first picture was of Morrison and Tommy sitting in the back of Amy's car with a tiny gray puppy with light-blue eyes. Both children were in their car seats and leaning towards the middle, where the puppy was lying in-between them and chewing on a green-and-white rope. The second picture was of the puppy sitting on Amy's bed, his head tilted as he looked in the mirror that hung on the wall adjacent to the bed. The third picture was Ronnie's favorite: the puppy was still on the bed, but Amy was lying next to him with her hair spread out on the hunter-green comforter, their heads pressed together while Amy took the selfie.

  Ronnie stared at the picture for almost a full minute with a small smile on her face before responding to the message. [Sent 03/10/2020. 20:02. To: Amy]. I can't wait to meet him. She hesitated before putting a heart at the end of the message and clicked “send“ before she could talk herself out of it.

  Ronnie stomach growled loudly, distracting her from what she had just sent. She put her phone back in her purse and started to drive, barely paying attention to the road as she made the familiar drive to Fazolli's. She hadn't eaten at the pasta place in quite some time, but when Ronnie had first switched to the pediatric ward, she had picked up dinner for Kenny and her almost every night. Kenny always got spaghetti with broccoli, and Ronnie got Alfredo-fettuccine with wheat noodles.

  By the time the smell of dinner had filled the car, Ronnie had all but forgotten about her final text to Amy. She made the rest of the drive back to her apartment and went inside, ready to relax after a long day and spend the evening with her fiancé.

  She couldn't think of a better way to spend their anniversary.

  11

  When Ronnie woke up the next morning, she felt like she had been bathed in a bucket of ice. Her nude body was covered in goose pimples from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet. She pulled the blankets up to her sho
ulders and rubbed her face against her pillow, her forehead brushing against something that was noticeably not her pillow case. She glanced up to see Reagan lying next to her, purring like crazy and fast asleep. Ronnie leaned up and kissed her on the nose before putting her head back down and closing her eyes again.

  She had almost fallen back asleep when she heard a noise behind her. She glanced at her watch before rolling over to see Kenny standing in front of the closet. He held his hand up in apology. “Go back to sleep, you don't have to be up for another couple of hours. I'm just going to head to the station for a bit.” He pulled out a tee shirt and a pair of jeans before leaning down and grabbing his tennis shoes.

  Ronnie shivered. “Are you going to be home before I go to work?”

  “What time is your shift today?” He walked over and kissed Ronnie on the head. “I'll turn the heat on for you.”

  “Eight-to-eight.”

  Kenny shook his head. “I doubt I'll be home by then. I'll see you tonight though, all right? Get some more sleep.” He scratched Reagan behind the ears, waking her up. Reagan blinked at him sleepily before retreating beneath the covers and heading towards the bottom of the bed. Kenny shook his head before leaving the room.

  Ronnie reached over, barely checking her alarm before she was fast asleep.

  ***

  When Ronnie’s alarm went off two hours later, she groaned and pulled the covers up over her head. She counted to ten before getting off the bed, pulling the comforter with her and wrapping it around her shoulders like a cape. She went into the bathroom and urinated before going over to her medicine cabinet to grab her toothpaste.

  When Ronnie opened her medicine cabinet, she cocked her head to the side in confusion. Next to Ronnie’s toothpaste was an open box of condoms, which wouldn’t have been unusual had they been having sex more than once every few months, but Ronnie knew that the box hadn’t been there a few days previously. It made sense that Kenny had wanted to be prepared for their anniversary, but they hadn’t used one the night before, and the box looked like there was at least three or four packets missing.