In Her Hands

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In Her Hands Page 15

by Rebekah Blackmore


  “Is everything okay?” Yvonne asked, reaching out to touch Morrison's knee gently. Morrison shook her head and raised her legs higher on Ronnie's waist. Yvonne moved slowly to Ronnie's side, looking over Morrison's tiny body to find the cause of her pain. “Is there something wrong with little miss over here?”

  Ronnie shook her head. “I don't know what's wrong, Yvonne. Allison brought her up from the daycare and said that she's been there since early this morning.”

  Yvonne raised an eyebrow. “And she just left her up here?”

  Ronnie shook her head. “I told her to leave her. Yvonne, I need to go talk to Amy, make sure that Tommy's okay. Allison said that she was in a panic when she dropped Morrison off. I'll take my lunch now, drop Morrison back off, and go talk to Amy-I'll be back up here in an hour, tops.”

  Yvonne peered at the large dry-erase chart behind the nurses' station at the end of the hall. She started to walk towards it, gesturing with her head for Ronnie to follow her. “Well, Flora said we need to cut some hours this week anyway, so if you want you can go ahead and just go home, or go be with Amy, I'm fine with that.” She reached the board and picked up a rag, wiping off Ronnie's name and replacing it with the other nurses that were on shift. She looked back at Ronnie and smiled at Morrison, who was peeking out shyly from her hiding spot. Morrison let out a gasp and hid her face again. “You can clock out and I'll let the other nurses know. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Thank you.” Ronnie kissed the side of Morrison's head before going back over to the nurse's station, pushing her chair out of the way and trying to put Morrison down on the desk. Morrison squirmed and shook her head, linking her fingers around Ronnie's neck and pulling herself higher on Ronnie's side.

  Ronnie reached up and pried Morrison's fingers away. She caught the toddler's hands before she was able to link them again and put her down on the desk. “I'll be right next to you, sweetie. I just have to check something on the computer, and then we can go see Mommy, okay?”

  Morrison crossed her arms and pouted, although she was distracted a few seconds later by a pad of sticky notes and a pen that was tucked behind the computer monitor. She grabbed the pen and started to scribble, letting out an excited squeal when she realized that clicking down on different levers on the pen made the ink change to a different color.

  Ronnie shook her head and sat down in the office chair. She clocked out before going to the patient portal and searching Tommy's name, her brows furrowing as she read the entries other nurses had put in throughout the morning. Her stomach curled into knots as she realized exactly what all of the entries were pointing to: Tommy's body was rejecting his new kidney for the second time. He had chills, a fever, nausea . . . all of the typical signs. Even worse, there were notes that he had missed nearly a week of his immunosuppresants, something that Amy was vigilant about. Something must be seriously wrong for Amy to let that slide.

  Ronnie reached over and took the sticky notes out of Morrison's hands, ignoring her sounds of protest as she pulled a sheet off the bottom before handing them back. “There. You can finish your drawing and then we will go see Mommy, okay?”

  “Kay, Ronnie.” Morrison nodded before going back to her scribbling.

  Ronnie wrote down Tommy's room number and closed out of all the screens. She signed out and stood up, taking Morrison's “artwork” off the top of the pad. She tucked it in her pocket and held the pen out to her. “If you're good then you can keep the pen, all right?”

  Morrison squealed and put her fists up to her chin. “I good, Ronnie, I good!”

  Ronnie held her hands out. “Are you ready to go see Mommy and Bubba?”

  “Yeah!”

  Ronnie scooped Morrison up and put her on her hip again. Morrison let out a happy coo before leaning forward and placing a sloppy kiss on Ronnie's cheek. Ronnie smiled down at her, rubbing her back and teasing the ends of her hair. “You're in a much better mood than you were earlier, little miss.”

  Morrison nodded. “Happy,” she said, before letting out a loud yawn and lying her head down on Ronnie's shoulder. She snuggled her cheek against Ronnie's scrubs, sticking her thumb in her mouth and closing her eyes. “Tired.”

  Ronnie held her tighter and started making her way to the daycare to get Morrison's bag before running by her locker and getting her things. She draped both bags over her free shoulder and took the elevator down to the floor that Tommy was on.

  She counted the room numbers until she found Tommy's room. The door was wide open and a few personal things were scattered around the room, but the bed was gone, as was any life-saving technology or medical equipment. Amy wasn't in the room, either: the only sign of Tommy's presence in the room was his name on the door.

  Ronnie fought to keep her stomach from dropping as she left the room and went to the nurses' station. There was a girl sitting there pigeon-typing on the keyboard and slouching in the chair. She had glasses, and her light-brown hair was pulled into a ponytail. She looked like a child in adult clothing, from her fresh-face to her incredibly petite frame.

  The nurse, whose name tag said that her name was “Paige,” looked up at Morrison and raised her eyebrows. “That's an interesting way to transport a patient to our floor. What's her name?”

  Ronnie shakes her head. “She's not a patient. Her brother is, though, and he's not in his room-Tommy Vascar?”

  Paige nodded and started typing on the keyboard. She scoured the screen for moment before saying, “It looks like he's down in 2b getting an ultrasound of his abdomen done. The notes say that they're checking for any issues besides his kidney.” She looked back up at Ronnie.

  Ronnie sighed and shook her head. “So his body is really rejecting the kidney, huh?”

  Paige shrugged. “There's issues with it, at the very least.”

  “Is his mom with him?”

  “She's in a private waiting room down the hall. Do you want me to show you where it is?”

  Ronnie held Morrison closer to her side, stroking her hair and adjusting her rumpled clothes. “I know where it is, thank you.“ She tapped her fingers on the counter and gave her a tight smile before turning and walking away. “Okay, baby girl, let's go find Mommy.”

  21

  Ronnie made her way down the hall, Morrison still fast asleep against her shoulder. She adjusted her hold on her so that the toddler was better propped on her hip, making sure that she didn't have her nose or mouth pressed against any of the fabric. She looked at the private room numbers until she found the one that Paige had said Amy was in.

  Ronnie knocked lightly with her knuckles before opening the door and going into the room. Amy was sitting on one of the sofas with tears running down her cheeks, rocking back and forth and tapping her feet against the floor. She looked up at the sound of the door opening, and when she saw it was Ronnie she shot up and crossed the room in mere seconds. She threw herself at Ronnie's chest, her shoulder knocking into Ronnie's arm and knocking the diaper bag and her purse to the ground.

  Ronnie let the bags drop completely and wrapped her arm around Amy's shoulders, moving her so that she wouldn't wake Morrison up. She kissed Amy on the forehead, shushing her quietly. “It'll be okay, sweetheart. Tommy is going to be fine.”

  At the mention of her son's name Amy began to cry harder. Ronnie moved her to her other side and led her to the couch, gently pushing her down with her hip before nodding at the other sofa. “I'm going to lay Morrison down and then I'll come sit with you, all right? I'm not going anywhere.”

  Amy nodded and sat down, grabbing the box of Kleenex off the coffee table and blowing her nose. Ronnie leaned down and kissed her on the head again before going to a chair in the corner of the room and lying Morrison down. She grabbed the bags from the doorway and shut the door, putting the bags down next to the chair and pulling out her jacket to cover Morrison .

  Once Morrison was tucked in, Ronnie wedged herself between Amy and the arm of the sofa, pulling the other woman close and stroking her hai
r. “Shh, it’s okay, sweetheart. Go ahead and get it all out. Shh, everything is going to be okay.”

  Amy didn’t respond, choosing instead to bury her face in Ronnie’s shoulder and sobbing. Ronnie rubbed her hand on Amy’s back in circles and toyed with her hair, shushing her every few minutes in an attempt to soothe her. She hummed songs to her, something that seemed to work well to calm Amy down.

  Eventually, Amy’s tears ran dry. She sat up and looked at Ronnie, wincing when she saw the long wet strip of tears and mucus that dripped down from Ronnie's shoulder to the chest pocket in her scrubs. She sniffed and blew her nose before shaking her head and looking at Ronnie again. “I'm sorry for . . . that.” She waved her hand at the dark spot.

  “It's fine, really.” Ronnie reached out and took Amy's free hand. She intertwined their fingers, rubbing the back of Amy's hand with her thumb. She kicked her legs up onto the coffee table and pulled back Amy to her, doing her best to keep her breathing slow and steady so that Amy, hopefully, wouldn't notice the racing of her heart as Amy shifted and rested her head against Ronnie's chest.

  The women for silent for several minutes until Amy whispered, “Ronnie, I'm scared.”

  “I know you are, sweetheart, but Tommy's in good hands. You and Andrea don't need to be scared.” Ronnie kissed her on the forehead. “Where is she, anyway? She should be here with you guys.”

  Amy snorted and shook her head, her expression changing to one of disgust. “Andrea and I done, Ronnie. I never should have let her come back into our lives; I should have known she wasn't good for us.” She tilted her head up and met Ronnie's eyes. “I'm sorry.”

  Ronnie's brows furrowed in confusion. “What are you apologizing for?”

  Amy started to tear up again. “I should have waited for you. Tommy's kidney would be fine if you were my girlfriend instead of Andrea.”

  “Amy, there's no way to know that. Transplants are tricky business, especially in kids. You could do everything 1000 percent correctly and Tommy's body could still reject it.”

  Amy shook her head. “No, I know so. She's the reason why he's so sick again-she wasn't giving him his medications.” Amy's eyes hardened, and angry tears began to fall instead of sad ones. Her cheeks turned red as she squeezed Ronnie's hand nearly hard enough to break it. “I started opening at the cafe because Andrea said that she could get the kids ready in the morning, and I trusted her.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “She apparently decided last week that Tommy was doing so well that he didn't need to take his medication any more.”

  Ronnie's eyes went wide. “Amy, he needs to take those every day! Even missing one dose can be detrimental to the transplant.” Amy glared at her. Ronnie laughed nervously. “Right. You knew that. Well, how did you find out she wasn't giving them to him? Did she tell you?”

  Amy's features softened. “Tommy told me after he missed three days. He knows how important they are, too. I confronted her about it as soon as she got home from work, and we got into a fight about it. I told her what would happen if Tommy didn't take his medicine, and she said she didn't come home to raise a sick kid. As soon as she said that, I knew it was over. I told her to get her things and leave”

  Ronnie's jaw dropped. She couldn't believe that Andrea could feel that way. Sure, Tommy was sickly, but his sister and he were two of the best things to happen in Ronnie's life, and they weren't even her kids. “I'm so sorry, Amy. You shouldn't have had to go through that.”

  Amy shrugged. “It's better off this way. Besides, we both knew that it wouldn't last. She even said it when she left-I'm too in love with you to be with anyone else.”

  Ronnie opened her mouth to respond, but before she could say anything, she was interrupted by a knock on the door.

  Amy and Ronnie looked up, moving apart and lowering their legs to the floor. Ronnie sat back against the sofa while Amy moved up to the edge of the couch, tightening her grip on Ronnie's hand and wrapping her other hand around their joined ones. She looked up at the physician, Dr. Bursten, with fearful eyes, worrying her lower lip between her teeth and tapping her foot against the floor.

  “Is my baby all right?” Amy asked after a moment of silence, her voice quivering. “Is he rejecting the kidney?”

  Dr. Bursten didn't say anything, moving over to sit on the adjacent couch. He rested his elbows on his knees, his hands dangling between his legs. He nodded at Ronnie before looking back at Amy. “Tommy is back in his room, but before you go to see him, Ms. Vascar, I wanted to talk to you about a few things. May we talk in private?” He looked at Ronnie again.

  Ronnie got the message and immediately went to get up, but Amy tightened her grip on her hand and pulled her back down. “I want Ronnie to stay.”

  “All right.” Dr. Bursten adjusted how he was sitting again, his shoes squeaking against the linoleum floor. “Tommy has a bladder infection, he is dehydrated, his potassium is low, and he is anemic.” He leaned forward again, checking his watch before looking back at Amy. “Ms. Vascar, it's really not a good idea for Tommy to miss any more doses. We were lucky this time, but there is no way to know if the kidney will hold up in the future, especially without the aid of immunosuppressants.”

  Amy nodded. “I understand.”

  Ronnie squeezed Amy's hand. Dr. Bursten put his hands on his thighs and pushed himself up. “You can go back to the room whenever you want, although it might be a while before Tommy wakes up. We gave him something to help with his nausea, and it made him extremely tired. Do you have any questions?” Amy shook her head. Dr. Bursten nodded. “All right then. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call for one of my nurses.” He gave the women a tight smile before turning on his heel and walking out of the room.

  Amy and Ronnie sat in silence for another few minutes before Ronnie stood up. Amy was still sitting in a daze, her mouth slightly ajar and her unblinking eyes staring blankly at the floor. Ronnie shook her gently before grabbing her hand and pulling her off the sofa. “Come on. I'll take Morrison for a few hours so you can have some alone time with Tommy. I'll bring her back up later tonight.”

  “All right.” Amy wavered on her feet for a moment before steadying. She let go of Ronnie's hand and rubbed her face. She sucked in a large breath, blinking slowly. “Do you still have the car seat?”

  “I do.” Before their falling out, Ronnie had kept Morrison's spare car seat in her trunk, and she hadn't been able to convince herself to remove it after.

  “Okay.” Amy hesitated for a moment before pulling Ronnie forward into a hug. She linked her hands around Ronnie's lower back, and Ronnie did the same around Amy's neck.

  Amy looked sad, her eyes dull and her lips scrunched up at the corner. Ronnie ran her fingers through Amy's hair before putting her hands on either side of her jaw and leaning in to give her a quick kiss. “Hey, everything is going to be fine, okay?.”

  Ronnie let go of Amy and took a step back, turning towards Morrison. Before she was able to move more than a step away, Amy pulled her back towards and gave her another kiss, although this time, it was more intense. Amy wrapped her hands in Ronnie's hair and pulled on it, letting out a quiet sound when Ronnie put her hands on Amy's hips and pushed their hips together.

  Ronnie had just darted out her tongue to the to deepen the kiss further when a cry from the sofa made the women pull apart. Ronnie reached up and squeezed Amy's hand. “Text me later, okay?” She gave her another peck before going over and scooping up Morrison, shushing her as she fell back asleep against Ronnie's shoulder. She grabbed the diaper bag and started towards the door, giving Amy a small wave as she walked out.

  ***

  Ronnie held Morrison's hand as they walked through the lobby several hours later. Morrison was holding her new toy, a stuffed unicorn that Ronnie had purchased for her, in the crook of her arm and licking a lollipop. Ronnie was holding a bag with a stuffed dinosaur in her free hand for Tommy.

  Ronnie adjusted her grip on the bag as Morrison and she got on the elevator, bending down and showin
g Morrison the correct button so that they didn’t have to make a stop on every singe floor. Once she had clicked it, Morrison looked up and gave Ronnie a smile before asking, “Go see Mommy and Bubby now?”

  Ronnie ruffled Morrison's hair. “That's right, sweetie.”

  Morrison's smile grew. She leaned in and hugged Ronnie's leg before swinging their linked hands. When the elevator came to a stop, she dragged Ronnie into the hallway and started to lead the way to Tommy's room, making up her own directions and following along whenever Ronnie corrected her.

  It took longer than expected, but eventually, Ronnie and Morrison reached Tommy's room, Morrison’s excitement to see her brother growing by the second. She immediately ran up to her brother's bed and tried to jump up, only to be stopped by Amy.

  “Don't jump up there, sweetheart,” Amy scolded, picking Morrison up and setting her nicely on the bed. “Your brother is sick, remember? You have to be gentle with him.”

  Morrison grumbled and pouted before climbing up the bed and curling into her brother's side, sticking her thumb in her mouth and cuddling her unicorn. Amy leaned up and kissed both of her children on the head before coming back over and standing in front of Ronnie. They stared at each other for a moment before Ronnie went over and pulled Amy into a hug. Amy relaxed into her almost immediately, and Ronnie kissed her on the forehead before taking a step back and holding her hand out for Amy to sit down.

  Amy looked at the chair before shaking her head. “You're the one who needs to be sitting, not me,” Amy reminded her, crossing her arms over her chest and lifting an eyebrow.

  Ronnie rolled her eyes. “Sit down, Amy. I'm fine.” Amy didn't move. Ronnie sighed and went to grab a chair from the hallway. She put it down next to Amy's and sat down, putting her elbows on the arms of the chair. “There. I'm sitting. Happy?”

 

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