Through the Wooden Door

by K Carr

  “Connor,” I shrieked but kept it low. “Stop. Stop right now.”

  He shrugged again. “Come on, Jen. Do you really think your mom hasn’t been in a relationship since your dad died? I mean, I think she’s a saint, but she’s not that saintly.”

  “She,” I paused, flustered over the conversation. “Look, stop talking about my mom’s private business and leave Mr Granger alone. He’s a work colleague.” This conversation was too much, bordering on insane to be honest.

  Connor shook his head vigorously before levelling me with a look of sheer determination. “I’m not leaving him alone until I know what his intentions are with Rose. I’m going to make sure he knows she has family members, male family members, who will kick his ass if he steps out of line-”

  “Connor,” I grabbed my forehead. “He’s only a work colleague, and you’re over-reacting. You’re behaving as if you’re her dad, not her son-in-law. Completely over-reacting.”

  “Am I?” he retorted dryly. “Am I, Jen? Or are you under-reacting? I’m reacting just fine, exactly how I should. I’m the closest thing Rose has to a son and I’ll be damned if some smooth talking old dude tries to take advantage of my mother-in-law. That’s what real men do, they protect their womenfolk.”

  I tossed my hands up in the air before stalking over to him and snatching the glass from his hand. “You’re ridiculous. Stop being weird when we get back in the living room.” He mumbled something under his breath as I moved off. I looked over my shoulder. “What was that? Huh?”

  Straightening his shoulder he brushed past me, blue eyes glinting dangerously. “I said, I’m going to have a man-to-man chat with Mr Granger.”

  “Don’t you dare.” I warned as I followed him out the kitchen. “Connor, I am serious. Don’t you act a fool.”

  I had doubts he would heed my command. When we were back in the living room and Mr Granger finally had a drink in hand, I realized Connor was serious in his attempt to protect my mom from what he saw as a blatant attack on her virtue.

  “So,” There he went with that frigging ‘so’ again. “Are you married, Mr Granger?”

  My mom put her food down and folded her arms. Connor better watch it. He had no idea of the consequences he would suffer if he kept on this path. I decided then and there to take myself out of the firing line. I had warned him, if he refused to listen…well, on his head be it.

  “Divorced,” Mr Granger replied in a low voice.

  Anyone could see how uncomfortable the man was. I deliberated in that split second on whether to try and diffuse the awkwardness again but Megan added her two cents to the conversation, embarrassingly so.

  “My mommy and daddy are going to get divorced because we don’t live together anymore,” Megan said then let out a long sigh. “Dr Belinda says it’s okay when parents get divorced.”

  “Oh, Meggie,” Connor immediately halted his questioning of Mr Granger to focus on our daughter. “Mommy and Daddy aren’t getting a divorce.”

  “You aren’t?” she asked, glancing between the both of us.

  “No,” Connor assured her. “We’re not.”

  Megan checked with me. “Mommy?”

  I shook my head, silently confirming Connor’s words. We hadn’t had the talk with her yet. Everything was still up in the air and unsure. Mom was observing me closely, an unspoken question on her face. I shrugged my answer, which was a big ball of uncertainty. The lawyers had been called off…shit. That was a clear decision if there ever was one.

  Connor winked at Megan with a wide beam on his face. That beam disappeared seconds later when he turned back to Mr Granger. “Divorced, eh? Says a lot.”

  I huffed, loudly enough to have all eyes on me. If Connor didn’t stop being an ass, we might just end up divorced anyway. The nerve of him, especially when we had been facing the same prospect a mere few weeks ago. Hell, the day after Boxing day I had freaked out about us reconnecting and called Lala in a panic to discuss whether I was making a huge mistake. She had reassured me whatever choice I made would be the right one, then our discussion had turned to her cracked nipples and lack of sleep.

  “Connor,” my mom smiled sweetly at him. “Are you alright, dear?”

  Oh. I knew that smile. Connor cleared his throat softly. He knew the smile too. It was the same smile she wore when we first started going out and he used to come around here to visit me when I was home from college. It was the same smile she used when we had told her we were engaged and planned to spend the rest of our lives together. It was a perfect rendition of the smile on her face when I had asked for some of the money Daddy had left me to invest in Connor’s business plan – his parents had given him his portion of capital, I needed mine. The world always needed plumbers and electricians, well until it all became automated but that was some years off. Shit. Would trade services jobs become fully automated sooner than we expected? Technology was racing towards a fully automated society…but back to my mother’s smile.

  It was the smile which said: I dare you to play in my face.

  Connor’s shoulders rose and fell as he took a few deep breaths. Then he shot my mom a defiant stare. Oh. He was brave. “I’m fine, Rose. Thank you for asking.” He looked at Mr Granger. “My mother-in-law is so caring, isn’t she? I adore her.” Connor stretched his hand over to lightly tickle Megan’s neck. She squealed in delight. “We love your grandma to the moon and back, don’t we?”

  “Yes,” Megan giggled then grunted in discomfort. “Daddy, you made me move my arm.”

  “Sorry, sweetie,” he said repentantly. “Daddy will behave.”

  “You should,” my mom quipped as she unfolded her arms and reached for the remnants of her food. “Be more careful, Connor. Someone always gets hurt when people muck around.”

  “Very true,” Mr Granger agreed with a nod. He had some sauce on the corner of his mouth, and a few spots on his pale blue shirt.

  I didn’t want to point it out, plus I had handed him a paper napkin with his food. Shooting Connor one last look of warning, I picked up my food and kept my mouth busy with chewing. The tension did ease in the following hour, slightly, and conversation between us flowed nicely. By us I meant my mom, Mr Granger and me. The suspicion on Connor’s face directed at Mr Granger didn’t abate for a moment, but his responses when pulled into our conversation weren’t as hostile as before. The testy ‘so’ had been put aside and when Mr Granger did take his leave, Connor managed a lukewarm goodbye which came with a tight but polite smile.

  “Do you want to watch a movie, Meggie?” Connor stretched his arms over his head before leaning forward to reach for his drink. The bowls had been cleared away five minutes ago. “Let’s see what’s available.”

  “Can I have my iPad instead, Daddy?” she countered, slyly might I add because it had been taken away by me three hours ago. I was trying to impose a realistic time limit on how long she spent on her devices. It was my own fault for being too lapse in monitoring her overall usage these past months. Sneaking me a mischievous glance, Meg proceeded to pull on the invisible marionette strings she had attached to Connor since her birth. “My arm feels achy,”

  That was all she had to say before Connor jumped to his feet already looking around for the device. “Of course, sweetie. Where is it? I’ll go get it for you.” He couldn’t spot it lying around because I had taken it upstairs.

  “Mom has it,” Megan advised with a charming but expectant smile. Oh she was good. I was fighting my smile. Surprise, surprise, she failed to mention anything about why I would have her iPad.

  Connor looked down at me where I sat. “Where is it?”

  “I put it away,” I explained.

  “Where?” Connor asked impatiently. “I’ll go get it,” He stretched again and pointed to the door. “And you should go see what’s taking your Mom so long.”

  “She’s saying goodbye to Mr Granger,” My unspoken ‘duh’ was made obvious by the look I gave him. “And Megan’s been on her iPad enough today.”

 
Megan’s mouth dipped, the smile she was showing her Dad was gone. Connor hesitated, I could see the words building on his face and I arched an eyebrow.

  “Ah,” he hedged. “I see.”

  Megan and I continued to stare at him. Connor was in a bind and he knew it. He could be a good parent or a favourite parent. Good meant standing by my decision to control Megan’s screen time, favourite meant capitulating to her request.

  He sent me a semi-pleading look. “Half an hour won’t hurt, will it?” The grin returned to Megan’s face. Connor tried to make his expression stern as he warned her. “But only half an hour,” he stressed his point. “And Mom has final say.” Connor turned back to me. He had played it well, putting the ball firmly back in my court after voicing his support for Megan getting extra screen time. He had played it well indeed.

  Megan, trying to fight her triumphant look and affect a pleading one, verbalized her intention to honour Connor’s caveat. “I’ll only play for half an hour, Mom. Promise.”

  I frowned at them both, but it was a fake frown.

  “She promised.” Connor said. He was such a pushover.

  “Half an hour.” I caved.

  “Half an hour.” Connor confirmed as he exchanged grins with Megan.

  “Erm, how long is half an hour again?” Megan asked sweetly.

  I sucked my teeth before grunting in amusement. She knew damn well how to tell time. Before I could make a cheeky retort, my mother sauntered into the room. Mom glanced at the three of us, her gaze lingered on Connor for a few extra seconds and I wondered how she would get back at him for embarrassing her with Mr Granger. Oh boy. Connor didn’t know what he had done, but he would soon enough.

  “Everything ok, Mom?” I queried. She had a little smirk thing going on with her mouth.

  Instead of answering me, she walked over to the couch where Megan sat. “Megan,” Mom held a hand out to her. “Why don’t you come upstairs with grandma and I can help you get all your stuff together?”

  “Why?” Megan pushed the cushion aside and gingerly edged off the seat. She took my mom’s offered hand. “I was going to play on my iPad. Mom said I could. It’s upstairs. Do you know where?”

  I tilted my head at my mom. Why indeed? Did she mean tidying up? “If it’s a mess, leave it, Mom. I’ll tidy it up later.”

  “I didn’t make a mess,” Megan protested, looking up at my mom. “I didn’t, grandma.”

  “I know,” My mom levelled me with a cool, no, a clinical gaze, before telling Megan. “Your mommy and daddy aren’t getting a divorce so that means you need to live together again. Right?”

  Megan nodded, immediately seeing the logic. All thoughts of playing on her iPad were gone. “That’s right, grandma! You only get a divorce when you don’t live together.” Megan turned towards me. “Daddy said you’re not getting a divorced so we can live together again.”

  My mouth was hanging open. What. The. Fuck.

  Connor’s blue eyes were wide as saucers. His gaze jumped between my mom and me.

  “Excuse me?” I asked shrilly. “Mom?”

  Oh no, that very particular smile of hers had returned. The one which said she was the supreme boss and everyone would be toeing her line. Everyone. “It’s time, Jen. You and Meg should go back home.”

  “Yay!” Megan yelped with joy.

  “You’re kicking me out?” I yelped with shock and jumped to my feet.

  My mom sucked her teeth and waved her free hand through the air. “Don’t be silly. This will always be your home, but Megan needs her old space back-”

  “Mom,” I stood there, wringing my hands in disbelief. Connor sat there, silent and with a growing smile on his face, it was somewhere between flabbergasted and thrilled luck.

  “And I need my house back too, Jennifer.” She blinked a few times. “You’re going to have to leave at some point and Megan’s off school tomorrow, now will be the perfect time to get everything sorted and you back at home.” She smiled again then began to herd Megan out the living room.

  “Mom,” I called out to her back. She didn’t turn around.

  Connor lightly cleared his throat to get my attention as mom and Megan left the room. “She’s kind of right, hon. You-”

  “Got me kicked out. I don’t believe this.” I finished his sentence. What the fuck?

  “You,” Connor repeated as he stood up. “Were going to have to move back home anyway.” He reached over for me and nabbed my hands. “Yeah? That’s the end game. You, me, Meggie; the three of us back home together.”

  I nodded slowly, reeling from the sudden turn of events. It shouldn’t have been this surprising. Meg and I would’ve resumed living with Connor eventually. But like this? I wasn’t expecting this. “You made my mom kick me out.”

  Connor grinned then a look of disquiet started creeping up his face. “You don’t think it’s because of that Granger clown, do you? A sort of ‘you need to leave because you’re cramping my style’ thing? Fuck,” he hissed.

  “Yep,” I arched both eyebrows at him and made a sound of reproach. “And now I won’t be here to keep her on the straight and narrow. Now Mr Granger can stop by any time he wants,” I bit the insides of my cheeks, fighting the grin as Connor worriedly rubbed his chin. “With more flowers. Who knows? What if he proposes? Can you imagine that? Him marrying my mom?” I frowned.

  Ok, it had started out as me teasing my over-protective husband, but jokingly saying those words did make me feel some type of way. A strange, anxious sort of feeling. My mom definitely was a beautiful woman. And everyone had needs. My chest felt slightly constricted as my mind instinctively veered away from thoughts of my mom having her needs met. This was weird and I couldn’t help my unease. It wasn’t as if I was being childish. Yes, we were all adults now but my mother had never brought any other man into my life after my father had died. When I was younger it hadn’t crossed my mind that she might’ve wanted to get remarried. She loved my Dad, Dad was then gone, and she would always love him. Daddy, although he was no longer with us, had remained the most important male figure of my life growing into adulthood. My mother made it so. There were no other men around during my formative years.

  “Uh hmm,” Connor had been peering intently at my face. “You don’t like how that sounds, do you? Told you.”

  “Shut up,” I groused. “This is all your fault anyway.”

  “Do you want to come home, Jen?” he asked with a sudden bluntness which belied the uncertainty I saw building in his eyes.

  I nodded because I was too scared to verbalize my desire to return to our family home. This was a major step for us as a once warring couple, and a part of me remained racked with doubts. Everything felt as if it was moving too fast, as if. I had no control, and control was something I had gained a new appreciation for over the past year and a half.

  Connor studied me for a few seconds. “You don’t have to,” he forced out. “I mean, I want you and Meggie home, god, I want that so much, but we can take it slow, hon.” His throat bobbed up and down. “There’s no rush.”

  I managed a small smile, then leaned in to kiss the corner of his mouth as a distraction tactic. My mom was right. It was time. Leaning back, I forced my cheek muscles to widen the smile on my face. “Can you put the last of the Christmas decorations up in the attic for me? Mom and I were going to do it later but since you’re here,” I stepped back with a nonchalant wave of hand. “I can go pack my stuff while you do that.”

  Connor grinned. “Will do.”

  I watched him waltz out the room and the smile vanished off my lips. Fuck. I had to go home.

  * * *

  Was it strange being in the house? Not for Megan. She had immediately gone to her room, made me pack away her stuff we had brought back from my mom’s, change her bed sheets – well, I elected to do that. Who knew when last Connor had changed the sheets in here. She then sent her dad to get her donuts because her arm was aching again, and he rushed to do it no questions asked. Megan, who was current
ly fast asleep in her own bed, had needed no adjustment to being back home. I, on the other hand, did.

  “You didn’t need to do that.” Connor advised as he sauntered into our bedroom. “I put fresh sheets on last week.”

  I finished tugging the satin case on the last pillow and neatly placed it on the bed with its counterparts. “Last week?” I pointed out. “Then they’re not fresh, are they?”

  Connor shrugged with a wide grin on his face. “You can be as cheeky as you like, Jen. I’m just glad both my girls are home.”

  My return smile wasn’t as wide as his, nor as bright. “Me too.” I bent down to pick up the old sheets and Connor hurried over to help.

  “I’ll take these down to the laundry room,” he offered helpfully, still beaming at me.

  “It’s fine,” I declined his offer but he insisted and there was a short tug-of-war over the sheets before I relinquished the pile. “I’ll get a shower before bed.”

  He started heading out the bedroom, dropping a couple of pillow cases behind him which I snatched up and handed over. Continuing to smile, he said, “Thanks, babe. Enjoy your shower.”

  “Will do,” I replied, watching him balance the armload of sheets as he walked away.

  How did I feel about being back home? It was certainly different from the night I had rescued Connor from those idiots. Walking over to the closet, I thought about that night and the fact my worry for Connor had overridden my dread at being in this house…our home. Unfortunately I couldn’t go through every day with an emergency to keep my mind focused on anything but the fact this was now a household of three. It used to be four.

  I was home.

  It hadn’t taken long to pack most of my stuff away. There was only a few things left in the case. A memory of me standing right here months ago while frantically shoving clothes into this same suitcase shimmered before my eyes. I quickly sorted out some undies and sleepwear then went to get a shower. Everything was where it should be in the en-suite. My soaps, lotions, hair stuff; everything could be found in its allocated spot. I was a bit shocked Connor hadn’t moved things around during the months I’d been staying with my mom. Huh. He used to complain all the time about how much space my stuff took up in our bathroom. I stripped off and jumped into the shower after pulling my shower cap over my hair. The door swung open when I was in the middle of my third lathering up session, the first two had been focused on cleanliness, this one was for pure enjoyment. Connor edged into the bathroom. Grinning, he closed the door behind him and started pulling his t-shirt off.