Bent Not Broken (A Cedar Creek #1)

by Julia Goda

  “You’ll have to go back eventually, baby. I’ll be with you. It’ll be okay,” Cal tried to reassure me in his calm and quiet voice. I shook my head frantically.

  “No.”

  “Baby—,”

  “No, Cal. I can’t.”

  Cal had conceded to my panic and had agreed to give me time as he rocked me in his arms.

  But after two weeks, he was done giving me time and took me to see someone to talk about my fears and work through them. I had been mad at him at first, since he had taken it upon himself to find a therapist for me and making an appointment, something I told him I had wanted to do myself.

  “Baby, it’s been two weeks. You’re scared of your house. You haven’t made a move to find someone, so I did. It’s done,” he stated, reminding me of what he had told me the night after my kidnapping. We had been talking about our fight, about how betrayed I had felt when I had found out that he had known about my past and lying about it all along. In a quiet but firm and unyielding voice he had informed me, “I get where you’re coming from, baby, but you gotta get that I’m a man and as a man it is my job to take care of my woman. Your job is to trust that I do that, however that comes about.” He had used that to explain to me why he had kept me in the dark about the fact that he had hired a private investigator to look into me and find Kyle for him.

  “I needed to know why you were reacting the way you were, baby. I needed to understand it, so I could help you through it, while at the same time navigating us through it.”

  “Okay. I get that. But still, you should have told me that you knew. That day at lunch when you came to my house and I gave you my trust and then told you about Kyle, you should have said something, Cal.”

  Cal took a deep breath before he said in a low voice, “I was scared, baby. Scared that you wouldn’t understand and run for the hills. I knew what I had in my hands and couldn’t stand the thought of you leaving. I told myself I needed my hooks in you more before I talked to you. I knew you were still holding something back and thought I should wait for you to tell me about the miscarriage and about your parents. You hinted at your bad childhood, but never gave me more. But you’re right. I was selfish and stubborn and should have at least tried to talk to you about everything. I realized my mistake today when you told me you were trying to figure out how to give it all to me. When you left… Christ, baby, it hurt so much when you left. I was coming after you to explain, to make you listen and work things out. I was fifteen minutes behind you. If I hadn’t let you leave like that, if I had made you stay—”

  “Hey, stop it. I don’t think you could have stopped me even if you had tried harder. I would have just gotten madder at you for not giving me the space I was convinced I needed. What happened today is not your fault.”

  He cupped my face with his big hands, carefully avoiding my bruises and touched my lips with his. “I’m sorry, baby,” he breathed there.

  “Okay,” I breathed back.

  Cal closed his eyes and whispered, “Thank you,” as he kissed my bruises softly, starting at my temple, “thank you for being brave,” moving down my face, “thank you for not giving up,” and ending at the corner of my lip, “thank you for making sure you’d come back to me.”

  My breath hitched at the beauty of all that.

  “I love you, baby.”

  “I love you, too. So much,” I hiccoughed as silent happy tears ran down my cheeks. Cal stared into my eyes lovingly.

  “I need you to promise me something, baby. Next time we have a fight, you don’t run away to lick your wounds. No time away from me to think things through. We talk. We work it out. Then we move on. We don’t run and we don’t give up. Ever. This is it. You and me. Together. Until we die.”

  I nodded and whispered, “I promise.”

  Cal smiled. Then, “And I meant what I said earlier. My ring is going on your finger this Christmas.” He was back to being bossy. My body shook with silent and relived laughter as I said, “All right, honey.”

  “All right.”

  The result of our quiet and gentle, but serious conversation was that we promised each other not to keep any secrets. Unless of course, Cal thought he had no other choice to take care of me or protect me in his way. But I was okay with that since he was doing it to take care of me and only had my best interests at heart. Hence him finding a therapist and setting me up. In time, I learned to trust that and loved that he loved me like that, and now that I accepted that love, the intensity of that it was sometimes overwhelming, but no less beautiful.

  A few weeks after I started seeing my therapist, Cal and Tommy and I moved into my farmhouse together, just before Christmas. I had a few sleepless nights, but Cal’s strong arms and gentle words helped me put that behind me. Then, two days after Christmas, the whole family flew to Vegas, where Cal and I got married at a fancy resort. When we got there his mom and I went on a shopping spree so I could find my wedding dress and all the trimmings, Cal rented himself and Tommy a tux and four short hours later we were married. We stayed true to ourselves and kept it easy and casual. It was beautiful.

  Everyone involved in my kidnapping was locked up in a penitentiary. Gina was charged with conspiracy to commit kidnapping. Her stupidity of falling for Kyle’s lies didn’t help her much at all. Kyle had hooked up with the bitch weeks before he had taken me. He had been smart and had gone for the easiest target when he had found out where I lived and had come to Cedar Creek to get his revenge. Gina had believed Kyle’s lies to the nth degree, going so far as to take turns with him to watch me and figure out my schedule to find the right time to get to me. That was how they knew I would be alone at my house that day, since it had been a Monday. That whacko bitch confessed that she had wanted me out of the way. She was so delusional that she thought after Cal realized she had protected him from me, he would be grateful and jump into her waiting arms. Stupid bitch. When Cal heard, he had curled his lips in disgust and had shaken his head in disbelief.

  Kyle was charged with kidnapping, assault, attempted rape and attempted murder and was going to spend the next twenty or so years of his life in jail. Since even criminals don’t think too highly of rapists, I was hoping that he didn’t exactly get to enjoy his stay.

  My father was also in jail and would probably die there, since he hadn’t been in his best state at the time of my kidnapping. Why he partnered up with Kyle and came after me, I would never know, but I also didn’t care. Every single one of them got what they deserved, and I wouldn’t let them take any more from me.

  As for me, I had not only claimed back all the pieces that had been taken from me in that cabin, but all the pieces I thought I had lost forever. And I was determined to keep them. I felt safe and happy in the knowledge that Cal had come after me, and even if I hadn’t fought for my life tooth and nail, he would have come to my rescue and saved me from the worst thing that can be done to a woman. But fighting Kyle and winning had helped me getting my own back, not just from him, but from my father as well. I had been a victim of violence all my life, but in that moment when I realized I couldn’t let them take from me again, I had finally found my strength and stood up for myself, stood my ground and fought.

  So for me, things were good.

  No.

  They were great.

  Life would always throw us bumps and twists and turns in the road, but there was no doubt in my mind that Cal and Tommy and Sophie and Stella and all our future children would be happy through it.

  One of those bumps in the road had been Tommy’s mother Stacy. The reason for Tommy’s strange and quiet mood after the phone calls with his mother became evident when he was about to talk to her again the day before Thanksgiving for the first time after I had been kidnapped. It wasn’t like him to procrastinate and make excuses for not returning her phone calls, so Cal and I sat him down that morning to talk.

  “All right, son. What’s going on?” Cal went straight tot the point. Tommy stared the plate in front of him and shrugged his shoul
ders.

  “Tommy,” Cal prompted.

  “It’s nothing, dad,” Tommy grumbled as he kept avoiding eye contact. Cal looked at me and clenched his teeth, telling me it was time to get to the bottom of this. I leaned towards Tommy and reached for his hand on the table. When our hands touched, I gave it a squeeze and he looked up at me in surprise.

  “Talk to me, honey. What has got you so worried?” I waited patiently as I held his eyes. He didn’t make me wait long, as I knew he wouldn’t.

  “Stacy asked me to stay with her for Christmas,” he said. I saw and felt Cal go tense beside me. This was news to him, too.

  “When did she ask you this?” I asked.

  “A couple of weeks ago. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with it and that I didn’t want to miss your first Christmas with us.” That was incredibly sweet of him and made my heart melt.

  “What did she say?” Tommy glanced at his father, then looked back at me.

  “She got upset,” he mumbled.

  “How upset?” Cal asked.

  “Very.” Tommy was biting his lip. I gave his hand another squeeze of encouragement. “She said it should be more important to me to spend Christmas with my real mom.”

  “She said what?” Cal hissed. Tommy looked at his father.

  “And she wants me to call her mom, but I don’t want to. You said I didn’t have to. She doesn’t feel like my mom, not like—” he stopped and looked at me from under his lashes.

  “It’s okay, honey.”

  Cal reached across the table for Tommy’s other hand. “Ivey knows, bud. I told her and she was happy about it.”

  “You are?” he asked me in a surprised and hopeful whisper.

  “Of course, honey. I’d be honored if you called me mom,” I whispered through a smile with tears in my eyes. Tommy’s return smile was bright and happy.

  “Awesome,” he whispered. Then his smile died and he looked back at his dad. “But what about Stacy?”

  “Don’t worry about her. I’ll deal with it.” Cal told him.

  Uh oh.

  “Cal—” I started, but he interrupted me.

  “No Ivey. What she did was not cool. She should have talked to me before asking my son to spend Christmas with her. She is still practically a stranger to him. I will not tolerate her attempt at blindsiding and trying to manipulate him like that. I warned her not to pressure him, to take things at his pace. She’s decided to ignore that warning and be selfish. That is not happening.” With that he pulled out his phone and dialed her number.

  “Stacy. Cal here. Tommy just told me you want him to spend Christmas with you.” Cal’s tone of voice was very abrupt and tense. It should have been a warning to her and would have been to anyone who has ever known him, but apparently she ignored it for what it was, since his voice was even harsher when he spoke again.

  “Yeah, he told me. He also told me you want him to call you mom.” Cal clenched his teeth as he listened to Stacy.

  “No. He doesn’t. It’s his choice, Stacy, not yours. You lost that right when you abandoned him when he was a baby, when you left him without looking back. You know whose right it is now? It’s Ivey’s. Ivey has been more a mom to him in the last few months than you have been his whole life. She loves him and doesn’t mind showing it, and Tommy loves her and doesn’t mind showing that either. I’m sorry you feel like you should be more important to him than she is. But you are not. And if you don’t get your head outa your ass real fast I doubt you will ever be. Tommy’s mom just went through something awful and she needs her family around her, which means I, her fiancée, and Tommy, her son will be there for her.”

  Pause.

  “Yeah, you heard right. Ivey and I are getting married. This Christmas. Which is another reason why Tommy will not be staying with you for the holidays, not that that was ever an option.”

  Another pause. This one longer.

  “Listen, woman. You do not ever disrespect the woman I love like that. Think real hard about that before you completely blow your chance here, Stacy. There is no way I’ll let you try and fill my son’s head with that shit. You have one chance to make things right with him and if you’re not careful you’re gonna blow it by being a stupid and selfish bitch. Advice, do not ever insult a woman a man loves, no matter the kind of love. Tommy is his father’s son and neither of us take kindly to bitches.”

  He listened for second then burst out laughing.

  “That will never fucking happen. You lost that chance when I came home one night and you were gone. Vanished. Disappeared. Walked out on your man and your son. Leaving a stupid ass note saying you weren’t ready to be a mother. But even if you hadn’t left, you and I both know that even if you had stayed, you still wouldn’t be in my bed today. We didn’t work. I was willing to try for our son’s sake, but it became pretty fucking clear real fast that we were not getting along. So safe your tears and get that out of your head.”

  Pause.

  “Yeah. That was me not thinking and being stupid. Was so happy for my son that his mother finally got her head outta her ass and wants a relationship with him, I didn’t see your game for what I now know it was. But that was the last touch you will ever get in, the last smile that will be directed at you. The only woman who’s allowed to touch me in any form of intimacy is Ivey. Now, if you’re smart, you’ll find a way into your son’s heart. No matter what it takes you’ll do it or I will cut you off and you won’t talk to him until he is eighteen and can make that decision himself, which I doubt will be in your favor. You’ve been a shit mother his whole life and lost big. Tommy is the best son any parent can wish for and you have missed out on all that entails. If you’re even a fraction of the kind of person you told me you wanted to be, you’ll think hard about what I just said and change your tactic before you’ll lose any chance of ever being a part of his life.” With that last shot, he hung up on her. His eyes came to mine and I could tell how incensed he really was.

  Tommy’s eyes were big as he looked at his father.

  “Lesson, son. Don’t let anyone disrespect the people you love and care about. They do, they’re not good enough to be a part of your life. They try to play games with you, try to manipulate you into doing things you don’t wanna do, again, they’re not the type of people you want in your life. I hope your mother will think on that and come to her senses. But if she doesn’t, I’ll tell you right now, I will interfere like I told you I would. I will not let anyone hurt this family.”

  Tommy stared at his dad and nodded. “Okay, dad.”

  Cal’s voice gentled as he squeezed his son’s shoulder. “Don’t take that on, bud. This is on your mother. She is the adult and should know better. None of what just happened and none of what is going to happen is your fault.”

  Tommy nodded again and again said, “Okay, dad.”

  “You all right?” Cal asked him.

  Tommy was silent for a few moments, thinking about it. Then he said, “I’m all right.” I squeezed his hand once again and his eyes came to me.

  “So you’re getting married this Christmas?” he asked me. I smiled at him. We hadn’t told anyone, yet. The plan had been to tell everyone during Thanksgiving dinner.

  “Yeah.”

  “Cool.”

  “Yeah, cool,” I replied.

  And that was that. Stacy had called since then. Regularly. At first, neither Tommy nor Cal answered or returned her calls. They left her hanging, but she didn’t give up. Eventually Tommy started taking to her again and slowly they were getting to know each other. I was glad that Stacy came through and got her head out of her ass, as Cal so eloquently put it, because Tommy was worth it. Any child was worth fighting for, and if it were me, I would move heaven and earth to stay in contact with my son. But then again, if it were me, I would have never left my son in the first place. But the important thing was that Stacy was making a solid effort to be a part of her son’s life.

  Tommy has called me mom ever since that day, which still brought tea
rs to my eyes from time to time, resulting in both my boys shaking their heads at me. And Tommy was my son. Blood or legalities didn’t matter. He was my son.

  I felt Cal’s arms wrap around me from behind. I leaned into him and sighed contentedly. Letting the beauty of standing in my husband’s arms, watching my son and daughter wash through me, I gently rested my hands on Cal’s that had settled on my stomach and smiled to myself.

  I did it.

  I finally found my happily ever after.

  The End.

  About the Author

  Julia Goda has been writing stories in her head since she can remember. Much to her teachers’ dismay, given the task of writing a short essay she would always come back with way too long and detailed stories. Many discussions (she has always been somewhat of a smart-aleck) and bad grades were the result, so that for most of her life she thought she couldn’t write worth a damn and pursued other careers. But the dream of being an author wouldn’t be ignored and kept lingering. With a little help from her fantastic husband, who gave her the necessary kick in the behind, she was finally brave enough to start writing her first novel. Since then she has enjoyed giving herself over to her stories and making them come to live.

  Her novels jump genres and touch on all kinds of different topics, but the things she tries to focus on no matter what are romance, strong women, and a good sense of humor.

  Now, when she is not in her writing cave, spinning the tales that have been prodding her or editing, she enjoys reading, drinking coffee, eating good food, and listening to rock music.

  Julia Goda has lived in Germany, Virginia, and Colorado (where she fell in love with Boulder and the Rocky Mountains). Her current home is Southern Alberta, Canada, where she lives close enough to the Rockies with her husband and chocolate lab to enjoy the beauty and excitement that is mountain living.

  Connect with Julia Goda:

  www.juliagoda.net

  www.facebook.com/juliagodaauthor

  Twitter: julia_goda