Never Say Never

by Tina Leonard

  Jill

  It didn’t sound right. Nothing about her letter felt good. In fact, Jill felt sick and the tears she was holding back felt like they were going to spill any second. Living with the Reeds had healed her in many ways, made her happier than she’d ever been in her life. Her relationship with Dustin was a thing born of unwilling respect and attraction, all the more surprising because it had happened when she had never dreamed it would. Dustin had taught her that she was a desirable woman. That had been the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to her.

  But she couldn’t allow herself to take advantage of the healing the Reeds brought her. Not when she was costing them the child they loved. Jill touched the paper she’d written onto her lips, then crossed into the parlor to lay it underneath the tabletop Christmas tree she had so enjoyed watching Joey decorate. She laid her house key on top of it. No longer able to hold back the tears, Jill closed the front door behind her, making certain the doorknob stayed locked. Then she ran to her car, telling herself she couldn’t leave town without saying goodbye to the woman who had believed in her from the start.

  Eunice opened her eyes, at first thinking her room was empty of visitors. Vera had not left her side, though Eunice figured it was probably killing her not to get to see her grandbaby. No matter how many times she’d tried to convince her to leave, Vera had only smiled and patted her hand. Eunice knew Vera and that they had that strong, stubborn streak in common. She sighed, knowing the truth was that she appreciated Vera’s devotion.

  A voice immediately said, “Is there anything I can get you?”

  “Jill.” Eunice managed a tired smile. “How nice of you to come.”

  “I shooed Vera off. I hope you won’t mind a substitute.”

  “Lord, no. The woman needed a break.”

  “Well, she said she’d be back as soon as she showered and got something to eat.”

  “She will be, too.” Eunice smiled, casting an eye over the beautiful young girl who had come to sit at her side. Life could be so strange sometimes. Here was this lovely person with a huge bruise on her face, and somehow Eunice thought she had never looked lovelier. Maybe it was because Jill was such a strong woman herself, someone Eunice identified with. She’d never heard her complain, never heard her offer anything but a kind word to everyone. She’d earned the Reed gratitude forever with her kindness to Joey and baby Holly.

  She’d earned Eunice’s gratitude for the slow, giving comfort she had shown Dustin. She patted Jill’s hand without speaking, aware that Jill had been patient with her son. Oh, every mother hoped for a woman that would care for and adore a son the way she did; a woman who could overlook most of the man’s flaws and see the best in him. Jill seemed to be built that way. Not that Dustin was a hero by any stretch; Eunice would admit that in a second. But he was a man with heart, a good man who needed a good woman.

  Jill fit the picture, but even Eunice knew there were an awful lot of odds for Dustin and Jill to surmount.

  “Are you feeling better?”

  “I think so.” Eunice smiled self-deprecatingly. “I can’t really tell.”

  “Have the doctors given you a diagnosis?”

  Jill’s concern was touching to Eunice. “Apparently, I had a minor stroke, a not very unusual incident among folks my age. They can come and pass, sometimes without the person noticing.”

  “Will you be able to go home soon?”

  Eunice nodded. “They’re running a few more tests, but I should be free soon. I can’t wait to see Joey.”

  “Um…” An expression of extreme discomfort crossed Jill’s face. “I don’t think he’s going to be home.”

  Eunice was instantly alert. “What do you mean?”

  “I’m not sure…Dustin didn’t tell me exactly. And I wasn’t exactly eavesdropping either, but I heard.” Jill seemed stricken. “A man came to see Dustin this afternoon. I don’t know what they said, exactly, but I did hear him talking to someone on the phone in his room. He was angry. I know he was talking about Maxine on the phone, and how she didn’t like me. Then he left.”

  Jill’s voice dropped to a whisper. Eunice pushed herself up on the pillows.

  “What possible reason could she have for pulling this now? The court date is Thursday.”

  “Maxine came to pick Joey up and I didn’t have him ready.” Jill’s gaze dropped, ashamed. “I was in a bathrobe myself. She said with you in the hospital and Dustin gone so much, she was surprised you would leave Joey in my care.”

  “It isn’t any of her business.”

  “Dustin hasn’t discussed any of this with me. But I don’t think I misunderstood Maxine’s unhappiness. And he was very upset when he left today.”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake.” Eunice she shook her head, wishing she had her strength back. “This time Maxine’s gone too far.” She thought for a minute, looking at the woman with the shiny blonde hair curling gently at her chin. “Don’t let this worry you. Dustin will take care of everything.”

  Jill raised unhappy eyes. “I have to worry about it, Eunice. I’ve cost Dustin the person he loves the most. It’s terribly unfair, when he and Joey are just now coming to know how much they care for each other. I can’t do that to him.”

  “He didn’t tell you what happened because he knew this was the way you’d feel. He knew you’d feel you had to leave.”

  “I do.”

  Eunice pursed her lips, staring hard at Jill. “Dustin wouldn’t want you to let Maxine run you off. He’s not that way. Once he’s given you his loyalty, he’ll protect you.”

  How different from Carl, thought Jill. She let her gaze drop, unable to let Eunice look inside her soul to see how much she was hurting. “That’s why I have to leave. I can’t let Dustin’s loyalty to me affect his custody situation with his son. It would be a pretty poor way to say thank you.”

  Eunice clicked her tongue. Her hands worried the blanket for a minute. “I don’t know. I see your point, but I also know how Dustin is going to feel. I don’t think he’s going to be happy about this at all.”

  Jill knew that too. He wouldn’t back down; it wasn’t in his nature. She was going to have to do it for him. It was the right thing to do. After all, she’d wished many times there was something she could do to help Dustin get his son back. There was only one thing she could do—say goodbye to the Reeds.

  Slowly she rose, taking Eunice’s hands in hers. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, Eunice. I got the best Christmas present in the world when I came to your home. I have my self-respect back, and for that, I can never thank you enough.”

  Eunice’s eyes welled with tears. “You gave us an awful lot, too, Jill.”

  She shook her head. “No. You gave me your strength, when I didn’t have any left of my own. Now you need it yourself, for you and for your family. I won’t forget you, not ever. I know why Mrs. Benchley trusted you with her grandchild. It’s plain to see why Dustin treats you like his best friend. You are a person with rare honesty and goodness, and if I ever become half the woman you are, it will be more than I ever would have been before I met you.”

  “Oh, Jill. Everyone has weak spots in their life. We needed you more than you needed us, honey. You’re a survivor. Believe me, Jill, you are everything you want to be, and it isn’t because of anything we did for you. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Why, your mother’s going to flip when she sees your face. She’ll never want you to come back to Lassiter again.”

  Jill placed Eunice’s hand back on the bed with a sad smile. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. Goodbye, Eunice,” she whispered, before turning and hurrying from the room. It wouldn’t matter what her mother or anyone else wanted her to do; Jill could never go back to the house on Setting Sun Road anyway, not without jeopardizing Dustin and Joey’s chance for happiness.

  Eunice closed her eyes after Jill left. She had never felt so tired. This latest development didn’t feel right; she couldn’t help thinking the situation was going to be worse n
ow that Jill was gone. Darn Maxine, anyway. All my life she has been determined to get what is mine.

  There was so much more at stake now than a pair of pumps to wear to Homecoming. Their battle had become personal and hurtful. Maxine was never going to forgive Eunice for Nina’s death. Oh, she hadn’t been the reason for Nina’s car accident, but as far as Maxine was concerned, Eunice might as well have driven her off that cliff herself. She claimed her anger was directed at Dustin, but Eunice knew Maxine was really trying to get to her. After all these years, Maxine still hated her. Believing that David and she had conducted an affair had been tinder on an already burning fire. Eunice pressed her eyes together tightly. She had to think. There was something she could do, but her mind wouldn’t give her the answer. She was just achingly tired, but maybe if she rested, the answer would come to her.

  Dustin read the note Jill had left, disbelief making it difficult to comprehend what the delicately scrolled handwriting revealed. Reading it through another time, trying to counteract the astonished anger flowing through him, Dustin crumpled the paper into a ball, hurling it into the fireplace.

  “Damn it! Of all times for her to run out on us.”

  Without Joey, without Eunice being in the house, it was pretty clear Jill had run out on him. As if nothing had existed between them, she’d resigned her position as housekeeper.

  Like hell! A frown settled on his face. Had their lovemaking meant nothing to her? Had his lighthearted chitchat about getting married not clearly signaled his strong feelings for her? No, he hadn’t told her he loved her, but it should have been obvious. He had been in no position to talk of love or a lasting commitment with him in the heat of a custody battle. He had known that there was little he could offer her.

  Of course, he had even less to offer her now. Strangely, and perhaps perversely, he felt that was why Jill should have stuck around. He needed her support. With his mother ill, and the possibility of Joey being taken from him a very real specter, he needed Jill’s warmth to keep him from running into the pecan trees and shrieking like the madman inside him wanted to do. Jill kept him sane.

  He was feeling very close to the edge.

  His gaze focused on the ragged tiny tree she had bought for Joey, decorated with cheap, forlorn ornaments. Joey had been so proud of his handiwork. Dustin avoided looking at it, his gaze snagging instead on the big tree he had chopped down for Joey. Hell, that was partially a lie. He had brought that tree home for Jill because he could tell she was homesick, that she missed the Christmas spirit so generously displayed in the McCall household. Instantly, his gaze bounced to the antique, curved-back sofa where Jill had spent so many nights enjoying the tree lights as she fed baby Holly. He could see Jill so clearly, with her precious holiday decorations that he had not wanted.

  He needed her so badly.

  Jill had made her decision. It was something he would have to live with, whether he liked it or not. The anger he felt at her desertion would pass, but he didn’t think the hurt would dissipate so soon. It was worse than he had thought it would be, most likely because her departure was as sudden as everyone else’s he’d cared about had been. His father, Nina, and even Joey, though it wasn’t his fault; all those surprise partings had taken an emotional chunk out of Dustin’s soul. Jill’s choice to leave sliced like a razor, neat and clean, yet unique in its pain.

  Dustin made himself take deep breaths of air. His lawyer had told him to play it cool for now. He could not storm the Copeland house like a renegade father and kidnap his own son, as much as he desperately wanted to do it. Maxine’s trump card was, unfortunately, very potent and full of potential to Dustin if he acted on the anger that filled him. Four days, though they seemed like an eternity, were not the end of the world, the lawyer advised.

  Fancy that piece of crap from a man who had no children. Dustin slammed his fist into his palm. If Marsh were here, he’d have some stupid wisecrack to take the bite out of what Dustin was feeling. If his mother were around, she’d say something about believing in the spirit of Christmas and that everything would be all right. If Joey were here, the two of them could go throw birdseed out for the birds and watch them fly in.

  But none of his family was around, and now Jill was gone. For the first time in his life, Dustin felt the agony of being completely alone.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Wearing jeans and a T-shirt fit for loading boxes she had never unpacked at her parents’ house, Jill looked around the contemporary apartment where she and Carl had once planned to spend their newly married life. Sheets, towels, and other items necessary for starting a home filled the boxes. There was no reason to take them out now.

  She was surprised to see that Carl hadn’t moved out very many of his things. She had told him she was turning in the notice, which she had done the day after he’d paid his surprise visit to the ranch. In some ways, Carl was a strangely motivated person, but getting his possessions out of her hair apparently wasn’t something that motivated him greatly.

  She tried not to think about how depressing it was to have to look at all of his stuff. One phone message at Carl’s office was all she was leaving to warn him that if he didn’t get over here at a prearranged time and move out, everything he had parked in the apartment was going to the charity drop-off.

  After that, she could get on with packing up and removing her things. It was bad enough that she’d had to leave Dustin’s house with her belongings in sacks; it was past time to find a place she could afford and settle into. She couldn’t go on living like a bag lady forever, she told herself sternly.

  Casting a critical eye around the apartment, Jill wondered about leasing a new place this close to Christmas. Hopefully, something would be available. Of course, she could move the sofa and furniture that wouldn’t fit into her folks’ garage into storage and lodge with them until Christmas was past, but that option seemed worse than unpacking boxes by herself on Christmas Eve.

  Wandering into the kitchen, Jill sat down at the table. Her parents would want her to come home. For the second time in two months, her life had drastically altered, but it would feel so much like she was running home to escape her problems and she was too old to do that now.

  The real problem lay with her heart, though. Jill put her chin on her hand, realizing the only place she wanted to be for Christmas was at the Reed Ranch with Dustin. And Joey, and Eunice. It wasn’t going to be Christmas without them.

  Suddenly, she saw the newspaper lying on the table. It was the same one she’d circled ads in just after Thanksgiving, leaving it behind as she’d gone to Lassiter: Reading the ad over again made her heart clench.

  WANTED: HOUSEKEEPER FOR RANCH HOUSE. Cleaning and meals for a man, young boy, and an elderly woman.

  Memories washed over her in a flood. She had been so worried, so afraid of what those strangers might be like. Now there were faces to go with the description. The Reeds had been so much more than just a man, a boy, and an elderly woman.

  They had become her family. Their home had felt like hers. For just a little while, she had belonged.

  She would give anything to be in Dustin’s arms right now.

  “When can I spring you out of here?” Dustin asked, automatically sending a glance toward Marsh’s injured leg. Though the gun the thug had shot Marsh with had been small caliber, enough blood had been lost that the hospital had kept him overnight for observation. Dustin was itching to get his friend out of the hospital and his mother, too. Jeez, it was bad enough that Maxine had pulled a fast one on him, leaving him without his son. Having his mother and best friend in the hospital at the same time was too cruel. Shoot, he might as well check out a room for himself, Dustin thought sourly.

  With Jill doing a vanishing act on him, he had no reason to get home. Hell, if he didn’t get everybody he loved out of this disinfectant-stinking hospital, he might find himself hanging candy canes from their bedrails.

  Marsh chuckled. “Didn’t say anything about letting you spring me.”


  “I am, though. As soon as I get the nod from the doctor.” It was his responsibility to take his friend home. Marsh had been wounded on his behalf—and Dustin knew his carelessness had been the reason Lynch had managed to get a shot off. He should have made certain the hood wasn’t packing hardware before he’d let go of him.

  “Nope.” Marsh shook his head. “Can’t let you do it. But I’m already okayed to go home.”

  Dustin jumped to his feet. “Well, hell, man! Why didn’t you say so? Let’s get out of here.” He grabbed Marsh’s boots from the corner they were occupying.

  “Dustin, China’s going to be here, to take me home.”

  He stopped in the act of stuffing Marsh’s boots into a bag. “China?”

  “Yeah.” The grin on Marsh’s face was telling. “But I appreciate the thought, dude.”

  “Ah, yeah. Okay.” Dustin put Marsh’s things down as if they were hot. For some reason he felt let down, maybe even left out. He’d been so wrapped up in his own misery that he hadn’t considered Marsh might have someone in his life. Dustin didn’t have anyone right now; perhaps he’d assumed Marsh didn’t, either. They could share their down times together, the same way they always had. Maybe not playing pool and hiding out in his parents’ rumpus room the way they’d done as teenagers, but sharing a beer and that wordless understanding that men were good at. Lord, he needed that.

  Now Marsh seemed to be moving toward a relationship he’d been wanting for a long time. Dustin dredged up some happiness for his friend. “Jeez, Marsh, I didn’t think China was ever going to let you within a foot of her.”

  “Me neither.” His smile was huge. “She must have changed her mind when she realized I was the only decent single guy left in Lassiter.”

  Dustin sat down heavily in the hard chair beside Marsh’s bed. “Ah, no. Actually, now there’s me, too.”