The Runaway Schoolgirl

by Davina Williams

  Gemma was going to be in court again that morning while further video footage from her police interview was shown. Even though she wasn’t going to have to speak while she was there, she still had to attend and be sworn in as any other official witness would be. Meanwhile, Darcee was again in the public gallery, taking notes so that she could tell me what had happened once I had given my evidence.

  Chloe and I went back upstairs to the witness services area, but we were starting to feel claustrophobic waiting for the hours to tick by and decided to go for a coffee outside halfway through the morning. We went for a little walk and went window-shopping, and chatted about work, holidays, anything to try and take our minds off the time. Mostly, though, we were just clockwatching, waiting for the morning session to end. Every two minutes, one of us would turn to the other and say, ‘What time is it now?’

  Lunchtime came round and Mark Ling told me that Gemma would be cross-examined that afternoon and had asked to sit in the courtroom for the session. Upstairs in the witness room, she would have only been able to see Judge Michael Lawson, QC and the prosecution and defence teams on the videolink, and I knew she would have been desperate to see Forrest. She hadn’t seen him since September, so I was sure that this was the reason she wanted to be in court.

  Normally, if a minor is appearing in court, they give evidence from behind a screen, so it was highly unlikely Gemma would see Forrest while she was giving evidence, but I suppose she would have felt that just being in the same room as him was better than nothing.

  We went to the tearoom to take stock of the situation. I don’t know if the manager had put two and two together and realised that we had been in court that morning, but he said something along the lines of ‘Tough morning?’ and showed us to ‘our’ table in the back of the café. It was quite comforting to go back there every day. He even seemed to have the table ready for us as the days went on.

  Instead of spending the afternoon in the witness services area, Chloe and I decided to sit in the corridor – I wanted to be closer to where everything was happening rather than being tucked away upstairs, out of the way. When the doors of the courtroom were open and everyone filed in, I could only really see where the judge would be sitting, but Chloe had described the layout of the court to me the day before. She had also told me that Forrest had been wearing a grey suit and a lilac shirt, and that he was clean-shaven with a closely cropped haircut. He seemed to be taking the whole thing more seriously now.

  A little while later, after the doors to the courtroom had been closed, I glimpsed through the glass panels. Instead of being behind a screen, I could see that Gemma had been positioned next to Judge Michael Lawson, QC. She looked so small in comparison, so childlike, but I could tell from her body language that she was trying to look assertive and confident. I think she was hoping to come over as maturely as possible in order to show that she could handle an adult relationship with Forrest.

  I suppose I could have lingered at my vantage point to watch how things played out with Gemma in court, but I was mindful about not knowing anything before my turn in the witness box. Besides, it was too upsetting to see Gemma having to give evidence in court. With the videolink, at least I knew she was protected in a secure room, but here everyone’s eyes would be burning into her: she was so vulnerable.

  Chloe and I tried to fill the hours. When we saw a couple of men outside another courtroom we tried to work out why they were there. We were desperate to find ways to make the time go faster.

  While we were sitting there in the corridor, a court reporter came out and made a phone call to his office, describing in graphic detail the evidence that was coming out. ‘And their first kiss was in the classroom …’

  Chloe was furious. She marched straight over to him and asked him to show a bit of respect, as Gemma’s mum was sitting right there. He apologised and scurried off outside to continue his call.

  I obviously looked very different from when I did the press conference, back when Gemma first went missing. I have always taken pride in the way that I look, whereas I looked like an absolute wreck when I appeared at the press conference.

  To be fair, I knew that the reporter was only doing his job but it was still a shock to hear someone talking about my daughter like that, rattling off details about Gemma’s life like it was some sort of shopping list. It was sickening to hear her being treated like a bit of tabloid fodder and it was going to be hard to stomach reading lurid details of what Forrest did to her.

  At 4pm, the court doors opened and everyone spilled out. Once again, Gemma left without saying a word to me.

  The moment I saw Darcee, I could tell something significant had happened during the afternoon session. It wasn’t just Darcee. I could see the looks of hurt and concern on the faces of other people who had been in the courtroom.

  Suddenly, I felt very cold.

  Mark Ling and Neil Ralph came up to speak to me as Darcee took Chloe to one side. I could see them whispering to each other and looking concerned. Sarah came over and said: ‘You should be very proud of your daughter. She was very articulate and she did really well in there.’ Sarah has always said that Gemma was a really lovely, well-grounded child, but the last thing she said to me sounded a bit strange: ‘You need to remember the situation she was in.’

  I didn’t know it at the time, but the evidence that Gemma had been giving that afternoon wasn’t tallying with what she had said at her interview in the police house.

  Darcee and Chloe came over to give me a hug and reassured me that I shouldn’t worry and that it would soon be my turn to give evidence. I stood there looking at them for answers, but I knew I couldn’t ask for any more information. What the hell had Gemma been saying in there?

  I could sense that something wasn’t quite right, but I understood why there was no way that I could be allowed to know what had been said in the courtroom that afternoon. There were restrictions on what the press could report while the trial was taking place, and I was determined to play everything absolutely by the book so that we could get the best outcome possible. I had to stay strong and have faith in everyone to do their jobs. Of course, I would never be able to stop worrying about it, but at least I knew we had a brilliant team on our side.

  Just before we all left to go home, Richard Barton told me that I wouldn’t be giving evidence after Gemma after all. He had decided to call the teachers at Kennedy High School first as he thought it would be better for the jury to hear what they had to say before getting me on the stand.

  I was gutted – I had so wanted to hear them explain how this horrific thing had happened to my daughter. As far as I was concerned, the teachers held the key to this whole horrendous ordeal and the fact that I was going to have to wait even longer to hear their evidence was yet another endurance test. Richard Barton knew that I really wanted to hear what the teachers had to say, but he felt it was important for the jury to listen to their testimony before mine. I was so disappointed. It goes without saying that I wanted what was best, but I had so wanted to be there to hear them when they started spouting their excuses.

  To make matters worse, I was told there would be no court session the next day as Judge Michael Lawson, QC had to attend a retirement lunch, so there was going to be even more of a delay.

  Richard Barton also knew that I was keen to give my evidence before Forrest’s wife Emily and he confirmed that she would be taking to the stand after me, something I was really relieved about. Firstly, I really wanted to see her in the flesh. I had heard that there was a close resemblance to Gemma and, while I had seen pictures of her in the paper, you can never really tell until you have seen someone for real. More than that, though, I knew that she would be truly honest about what Forrest was like. She knew him better than anyone and I hoped that the expression on her face would tell the true story.

  CHAPTER 33

  DAY 4: THURSDAY, 13 JUNE

  I was frustrated that we had a court-free day ahead, especially when I’d been so psyched
up about giving evidence. As far as I was concerned, the sooner we could get this whole thing over with, the sooner we could get back to living our normal lives. The trial had only been going on for three days, but already it felt like it was dragging on. How were we going to get through it, if it just went on and on?

  Although frustrating, I carried on with the day, getting back to my routine of looking after the kids and doing the housework. Alfie went off to school in the morning as usual and I caught up with the washing and housework. It was good to be able to switch off from court and pretend things were normal, if only for a day.

  CHAPTER 34

  DAY 5: FRIDAY, 14 JUNE

  With Lilly feeling a lot better and Paul’s mum now well enough to look after her, Paul was able to come to court with me on the Friday. While I’d been grateful for the quiet headspace I’d had during my solo car journeys to Lewes, it was only when I had Paul by my side in the car that I realised how much I needed him with me.

  He was relieved to be with me, too. It wasn’t just that he felt bad about not being there to support me during the first three days of the trial, but he also felt guilty about what had happened with Gemma and Forrest. He blamed himself for having provided half the money to pay for the school trip to Los Angeles, when Forrest first clawed his way into Gemma’s life.

  During the drive to Lewes we talked about the morning of that fateful school trip, when I had dropped Gemma off at the coach. I had made her introduce me to the teacher who was supervising her group, and I said to her: ‘This is my little girl and I’m trusting you to look after her.’ Gemma had cringed with embarrassment at the time as if I was being overprotective, but her teacher clearly didn’t do her job.

  Like me, Paul felt so much guilt about what had happened. He has never tried to be Gemma’s father, but he has always been there for her and they have a good relationship. What had happened to her with Forrest had really taken its toll on him, too.

  When we arrived at the court, I checked in with the witness services team to say that I was around, but that I would be downstairs. While there I saw two girls from Gemma’s school there to give evidence and I felt really bad for them. It was so sad that they had to go through all this, especially as it was right in the middle of their GCSEs.

  I managed a quick hello, but I didn’t want to stick around; I knew that I had to keep my distance. To be honest, I don’t really know what I would have said to them and their mums anyway, apart from apologising. Nobody wants to see their children put through the trauma of giving evidence in court.

  Paul and I decided to go for a walk around Lewes – we probably walked back and forth up Lewes High Street a hundred times that day! But we couldn’t think straight and wandered from shop to shop, looking at things but not really seeing them, our minds whirring with thoughts of what was happening in court. We would buy yet more cups of coffee and watch them go cold in front of us – we didn’t have the focus to drink, talk or make any decisions, we just drifted.

  At about 3pm we went back to the courthouse and waited close to the courtroom for the session to end. Mum and Charlotte had been back in court that day, as Gemma had completed her evidence and it was now the teachers’ turn to be questioned.

  I was eager to see the expressions on everyone’s faces when the doors opened. As soon as I saw them, I could sense something significant had happened again.

  Mum could see that I really wanted to know what had been said. Charlotte quickly turned to her: ‘You can’t tell her anything!’ Charlotte was right, I would find out soon enough. I didn’t want to put Mum and Charlotte in a difficult position and so we quickly changed the subject.

  It was the same with Darcee and Chloe: they both stood firm. Chloe said, ‘You know we can’t tell you anything, but we don’t want you to worry. Trust us, it’s going to be OK.’

  One thing made me feel a lot more positive about the situation, though. It was when Chloe turned to me and said: ‘I can’t wait for you to have your say.’

  Whatever the teachers had been claiming had gone on, I knew the truth.

  CHAPTER 35

  THE WEEKEND: SATURDAY, 15 JUNE AND SUNDAY, 16 JUNE

  After a very quiet night on the Friday, an unbelievably long weekend stretched ahead of me. Paul’s father had come to stay with us and it was Max’s weekend to have Alfie staying with him, so there would be just the five of us, including the newly one-year-old Lilly, who was now bouncing around again almost like her old self.

  We decided that we would try to do some nice things as a family, but we were all feeling pretty emotionally drained by the events of the week before. Paul went out and bought all the newspapers, but we just filed them away for later as I was under strict instructions not to read them. It wasn’t a problem – we wanted to put the court case on hold for a while and try to act like a normal family.

  To be honest, though, there was too much on my mind. We would put the TV on and start to watch something, but I would just drift off. I couldn’t concentrate on anything.

  I texted Max to check that everything was OK with Gemma and he replied, saying she was fine. I wondered whether he was just saying that to put my mind at rest, but he told me she was spending some time with friends and that she had been OK.

  I had been finding the whole legal process mentally draining and harrowing. I was a whirlpool of emotions. My brain was like a mad pinball machine pinging around fragments of conversations, images of the courtroom and ideas about how it all could play out.

  I was like a zombie. I kept falling asleep in random places and would then wake up with a shock and start fretting all over again; I was a mess.

  Paul felt absolutely useless, but just a reassuring hug from him meant so much to me. He kept saying, ‘I’m so proud of you.’ I didn’t feel like I’d done anything to be proud of. Again, I was just doing what I thought was right.

  CHAPTER 36

  DAY 6: MONDAY, 17 JUNE

  It was time for Louise and Ben to testify in court. I wasn’t in as much of a state as I had been when Gemma was in the witness box, but I still felt so sad that they had to be there. They were lovely young people and had both been wonderful friends to Gemma. It was such a shame that their special friendship had been destroyed by this whole awful Forrest affair.

  Gemma, Louise and Ben had tried to continue their friendship after Gemma got back from France, but there was too much water under the bridge. Louise and Ben had been manipulated into thinking that Forrest had genuine feelings for Gemma, but over time they came to realise that it wasn’t all hearts and flowers after all.

  They were both very loyal to Gemma and had done everything they could to support her, but they would have said things that she didn’t want to hear. Naturally, Gemma would have been upset about this, but the fact that Louise and Ben kept quiet about what had been going on for so long proved what wonderful friends they had been. Like Gemma, I think they were in love with the idea of being in love. They were kind-hearted, good-natured kids from good homes who got swept up in the romance of it all. It just showed how well Forrest had seduced them as well as my daughter.

  It was with a heavy heart that Paul and I set off for court again that Monday morning. As usual, we parked in the car park at the bottom of the hill and met the others in the team for a quick coffee before making our way to the courthouse and battling through the ranks of reporters outside. I remember noticing Forrest’s dad was outside, talking to the press. I had seen him doing this before; it seemed to me he was almost the ‘spokesperson’ for the family. Meanwhile, his poor wife just looked lost – she looked how I felt.

  Paul and I went to the coffee bar in the courthouse. We no longer felt like we had to keep ourselves hidden away in the witness services area. Forrest’s family were there, too, but we all knew our boundaries.

  Soon after the morning session began, Paul and I went for a walk in Lewes to buy some gifts for the kids. As he and I wandered around, we started to try and second-guess the kind of questions I would be aske
d when it was my turn to take my place in the witness box the next day.

  I was really panicking about remembering the dates that everything happened. I’ve always been rubbish at timeframes – I expect I have probably made one or two errors while writing this book, although I can assure you that I have tried my very hardest to get it right!

  Mark Ling had reassured me that I would be able to read the statement that I had given to the police when Gemma first went missing in September, so I knew I would always have that to fall back on. But I also knew that I was going to have to answer questions about Gemma’s health – in particular, the fact that the school thought she had bulimia and was self-harming.

  I knew all the facts, of course, and I was confident about remembering all the details, it was the dates to go with them that I was worried about. Also, I was concerned that I would lose focus and start waffling under pressure, going off the point of what I had been asked. I really wanted to be crystal clear about what happened.

  Paul and I recalled the days leading up to Gemma running away – the call from Miss Shackleton on the day that Lilly was born, the day the police came round, asking about the incriminating pictures on Gemma’s phone and so on – when it suddenly struck us that we were doing all this preparation work without really knowing what we were preparing for.

  I honestly had no idea what I was going to be asked. All that Richard Barton had said to me was: ‘You know what happened, you just have to answer the questions.’ He was right, of course; it wasn’t as if I had to research the case. His reassuring words really boosted my confidence.