“Thanks for the rescue, babe. I’ll try to return the favor some time. See you tonight.”
I blush from head to toe and walk back to my room in a happy daze. Ianna is sitting on her bed listening to music when I walk in. She takes one glance at me and smiles, waving her hand in a circle at me.
“What is this all about? Is that a...smile? Who is responsible for this madness?”
“Kai’s roommate,” is all I say, sitting on my bed with a sigh.
A huge, knowing smile appears on her face. “So, you met Silas?”
I tell her about meeting Silas and our group date later, which, in true Ianna form, causes her to jump up and down and squeal, and then she starts to obsess about what to wear to see Kai. I shower and throw on my comfiest yoga pants and a green tank top—the exact shade of Silas’ eyes. Ianna roll her eyes at my frumpiness, but I refuse to dress up for guys. I can’t slip back into that life again. So, I am a good girl. I will keep Silas in the friend-zone.
The night is effortlessly fun; we all laugh and talk into the wee hours of the morning.
The four of us quickly become the best of friends and spent every free moment together. We start running together most mornings, I nearly died the first few times, but he is patient with me and before long, keeping pace with him is easy. I am becoming stronger and faster every day. We make a standing date Saturday’s to go hiking in the woods. We slip into an easy friendship, Silas and me. This will work; I can be friends with a guy without falling in love with him.
Chapter Twelve
One year later…
My name is Phoenyx Ember and I am in love with Silas Gage. In love with his shaggy blond hair always falling into his grass green eyes that see into my soul. Sigh, I think I have been in love with him since the day we met, and I am a spineless coward for trying to hide it, for not telling him. That is, until we had drunken sex last night, followed by my post orgasmic confession of my undying love.
Why did I drink? It had been ages. I had been so good. Me + booze = whore, every damn time. I will never learn! Nothing good comes from me drinking, except orgasms. Orgasms are awesome; I had missed orgasms. Remembering what Silas looked like when he came, then I picture his head buried between my thighs. I shake my head, FOCUS, Nyx. Mind out of the gutter.
I peek across the table at him and see him smiling so bright, laughing at something Kai had said. He catches me starring, again. I stare down at my oatmeal like it holds the secrets to the universe. His knee nudges mine under the table, and I look up. The world brightens and my heart bursts. I’m in so much trouble.
“You okay, Nyx?” he asks, staring at me with his grass green eyes and barely contained laughter in his knowing smirk. No, in fact, I am not okay. I love you and want to have your babies! I want to yell at him, but, “Yes, I’m fine,” is what I mumble, glaring at him.
“You seem a little flushed and you've been quiet all morning; you get enough sleep last night?” he muses with a smirk.
Since declaring my undying love for you, before running away like a little bitch, leaving me unable to breathe, let alone sleep! “No. I mean yeah, I'm fine. I... gotta go for a run before class. Clear my head,” stammering as I get up, trash my tray, and walk out into the courtyard sun. With a huge exhale, I start stretching and setting up my iPod.
Silas comes up beside me, “Can I come along?” he questions with a smile.
YES, OF COURSE! Will you marry me? I can barely look him in the eyes. “Um, sure, whatever?” Silas chuckles and shakes he head.
We start out jogging around the outside edge of the courtyard. It really is a beautiful place. The campus is laid out in a giant circle; four towers mark the points on a compass with dorms between them circling the huge inner courtyard gardens, my favorite place to run. The silence is screaming with all the things I want to say to him. Do I apologize? Sorry I got drunk and attacked you. No, that's stupid. Should I ask him for a do-over? Crap did he just say something?
“What?” I ask, distracted.
“I said are we going to talk about last night?” he asks. Well there goes my hope of never speaking of it again as long as I live.
“Its fine, Silas, whatever, it was stupid, just a drunken bit of fun. Let’s not make a big deal about it.” I am the world’s biggest coward. Silas stops dead beside me and just stares at me; he looks pissed. Oh crap, what did I do now?
“Cut the bullshit, Nyx, and talk to me. We've spend nearly every day of the past year together. You are not going to start avoiding me over this.”
He closes the distance between us. I start backing up, but don't get very far before my back hits a wall. Like a trapped animal, my eyes dart around looking for an escape route, anything to stop me from having to face the truth. He holds his hands up in question.
“What is this? You going to run from me, Nyx?” he asks with hurt and impatience in his eyes.
I stare off, because I don’t want to see rejection in his eyes. I stare at my feet, shaking my head with a sigh.
“No, Silas, I'm not running from you,” I confess almost in whisper. Unshed tears sting my eyes. I’ve been tossed aside by guys after sex before, but the thought of Silas rejecting me crushes my soul.
“Then look at me,” he demands.
I don't. I am terrified if I do there will be pity there. I step back, hitting the wall again.
“I am trying desperately to save our friendship. Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn’t drink. Just forget it ever happened. I was stupid and drunk. I don't even remember it anyways. Just don't freak out about it, okay.”
Lies, lies, all lies. I remember every word, every touch; he tasted like peppermint and smelled warm and spicy, like a guy should. His cheek was stubbly and scratched my naked body as he kissed down my… Head out of gutter, Phoenyx!
With a small laugh, he reaches out and gently tugs my chin up so my eyes meet his. “I think we both know the only one freaking out right now is you, yeah?”
I nod, my eyes getting teary. I can't speak. Silas is touching me; every nerve in my body is alive. I remember the feel of his soft full lips on mine. Starring at his lips; I lick mine, and he groans in response. Then he nudges my chin in a silent demand for eye contact.
“Last night... I will never forget last night. Don't play it off like it was another one of your drunken mistakes, because we both know it wasn't,” he insists. I cringe at ‘another one of your drunken mistakes.’ He would never be a drunken mistake. “I can’t stop thinking about how sweet you tasted,” he says, and before I have time to register what he’s said, his lips are on mine, devouring me, consuming me. His hands pull me close; my hands are in his hair, pulling him down to me. His hands cup my behind, and he lifts me up, my legs wrap around his waist instinctively.
We are lost in each other until a familiar squeal breaks the spell. I peek over his shoulder to see Kai and Ianna watching us, huge smiles on their faces. Ianna is squealing, jumping up and down, and clapping. “Woohoo, yeah baby!”
I rest my forehead on Silas', smiling. Gazing up at him, his lips swollen and red from our kiss, and his hair is a mess, as always. He slowly slides me down the length of his body, his eyes never leaving mine. So freaking hot.
Slowly backing away, I say, “I'm... going to go... I don't want to be late; I have Mason first class. See you later?”
“Yes, you will, beautiful,” Silas confirms with a sexy smile. Damn that's hot.
I made it to hand-to-hand combat class early, which is good because since Mason got his wish and became a trainer, he has become a total hard-ass who takes even a minute lateness as a slap in his face and a waste of his time. You do not waste Mason's time, ever. He won't kill you, but he has ways of making you wish you were dead. I arrive early, enjoying a blissful moment of peace and quiet before…
“Oh. My. God Nyx, start talking, NOW! That looked so effing hot! Tell me every detail! What happened last night? Did you sleep with him? I thought you swore off sex? Was it amazing? That kiss looked amazing.”
&nbs
p; I hold up my hands, half in surrender, willing her by all the power in the universe to just shut the hell up. To my surprise, it works. She takes a breath and waits for my answers to the barrage of questions she just bombarded me with during that incoherent, hyper little rant.
“First off, chill out! It was just a kiss. We got stupid drunk last night and when he walked me home, I don’t know what I was thinking. Why do I turn into such a whore when I’m drunk?” She cocks an eyebrow at me, hands on hips.
“That,” she says, pointing off in the distance. “was not just a kiss. He had his hands on your ass and you were all up in each other's business. I swear I almost tossed you a condom and kept walking, and as for your whore tendencies… all that nonsense is behind you. Silas isn’t some random dude; he’s a good guy,” she said, and I cringed.
“Ugh, this is so embarrassing; I didn't even realize what we were doing or where. It was Silas. I’ve liked him forever. Booze is the ultimate panty dropper,” I say, pissed at myself for not having the willpower to walk away from Silas. It's been eighteen months since Asher left and I spiraled out of control. I feel better; I feel like I'm better. Silas is so much...more.
“Well yeah! That much is obvious. You’ve been lost in lusty Silasville forever; anyways it's not like it’s the first time you've gotten it on in public. It's kind of how people know you. So? Are you guys a couple now?” she asks.
I groan. Ianna loves to make fun of how I used to be kind of a skank. It's an ongoing joke to her. I'm still waiting for the punch line. Luckily, most of the trainees I messed around with are gone; though the rumors are always there. The guards avoid me like the plague now, but I’m sure I have Mason to thank for that.
“I don't know; I think we are. I hope so,” I muse with a smile. God, I hope so. I stay in my happy little love bubble until Mason walks in.
“Shut up and pair up.” This is his usual friendly greeting, something has changed in his over the last year, we still have our training sessions but he seems distant.
I spend the next two hours trying my best to assassinate my best friend in hand-to-hand combat and desperately trying not to think about Silas' lips on my body. Ianna knocks me down ten times; I only manage to kick her ass twice. Mason uses that as an excuse to berate me and call me out on my lack of effort. Excellent times were had by all. I barely have energy to shower and collapse into my bed, exhausted. I sleep like a baby.
Chapter Thirteen
It’s amazing how time and perspective can change everything. The Academy started out as a prison, and has become the only home I have ever known. When I arrived, I was a dangerously unbalanced teen with a body count and a tendency to burst into flames when things got... stressful. No one could come near me for months after my capture.
The Academy is the only home I can remember. Despite our sessions, I still remember next to nothing before that night at the barn. Dr. Grey informed me it’s due to the trauma I endured while murdering four innocent people. Yeah, she's a real sweetheart, isn't she? She is helping me accept the past I may never understand and the mistakes I've made. I'm starting to find a balance here.
Closing the door to my room, I look out over the courtyard gardens, another beautiful morning. The sun is shining and the colors feel vivid and alive. Summer is still going strong in mid-September. Something feels different about today. I can feel it in in the air, and in me. Walk down the South tower steps, out though the courtyard toward the North tower where the dining hall is located. Silas, Ianna, and Kai are all sitting in our usual spot. I kiss Silas good morning and we finish our breakfast in the same way we always do before going on to our classes. These three people have become everything to me; they are my family.
Since Asher left, I am the only fire chaser at the Academy, so in development class I practice with Mason. His power works like a mirror, mimicking anyone's abilities so he was the logical choice. We are out in the quarry practicing; it’s dangerous for us to practice within the Academy walls. Having Asher here during training enhanced our skills and helped in fast healing. The bonds between Kai and Ianna is like that, but their bond may have more to do with their love than their like powers, or maybe they fell in love because of their shared talent.
“Seriously, Nyx, Focus!” he shouts, as he ignites a ring of fire around me.
“Sorry! I'm all over this shit. Let’s do this,” I say. He shakes his head at my foul mouth, but knows better than to try to correct me. He swears more than I do most days.
He takes me through our warm-up techniques—small fireballs, rings, offensive and defensive tactics. We build into larger and larger exchanges of shields and fire. I have impeccable control and haven't “exploded” since that night in the barn, but I have no focus. I’m always stuck in my head, holding back, worried about losing control. So much so that I forget to channel my power and I burn out too quickly. Getting tired; I can feel the energy draining out of me. He stops, giving me a moment to regain my control.
“Pace yourself! You must syphon your power carefully. All right, enough technique, show me something amazing, dazzle me,” he challenges, wiggling his fingers.
I smile because I have always loved this part of class—Freestyle power play. I hold my hands out, summoning my element instantly. It shoots ten feet into the air and swirls there like a tornado awaiting my command. I transform it into a giant dragon, breathing sparks and flapping its vast wings. Then it disappears into a wisp of smoke. I shoot him a cocky smile, waiting for my praise.
“That was an interesting presentation, but utterly useless in battle,” he states in an almost bored tone, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Shock and awe, Mase! The enemy will be so dazzled by my majestic dragon they won't even see me kicking their asses,” I retort with a proud grin, punching his arm.
He rolls his eyes. “Cocky as always,” he remarks deadpan, completely unfazed by my awesomeness. “Work on an attack formation and building your endurance. If you’d channel the power wisely, like I taught you, it wouldn't run out. When you use it rashly, you might as well lie down and die. The moment your power stops, you’re as good as dead in a fight,” he states seriously. I prefer smart-ass Mason; this trainer version is much less fun.
With a sigh, I say, “Yes, sir.” I don’t tell him that I have no intention of using my abilities to hurt anyone ever again. I stare at the branding on my wrist; I already have too many strikes against me; never again.
“Sir?” he inquires with a smile. “I like that, bow down to the great and powerful Jacob Mason,” he bellows with his arms wide, fire swirling around his arms.
I burst out laughing; that's the Mason I’ve grown to love. “Yes, the all-powerful asshat more like,” I say between giggles.
He fakes looking offended. “You are supposed to respect my authority, young lady,” he asserts with one eye brow cocked.
“You’re as much of an authority figure as I am a lady, Mase. But if it makes you feel better, you are probably the only authority I do respect,” I admit with a smile. Mason has grown into a great friend, a total hard-ass, but I know he is a decent guy under all that assholery.
“Awe, you respect me?” he boasts as he grabs his heart and pretends to wipe a tear away.
“Oh, my God, not anymore... ass.” I shake my head, laughing.
After class, I head back to the dorms to shower off a day’s worth of ass-kicking. Throwing my crazy hair into a messy bun on top of my head and pull on a tank top and yoga shorts and collapse on my bed. My cell dings, four times.
Silas: Can't stop thinking about you, beautiful.
Ianna: Hey chickpea, movie night with the guys in their room.
Silas: Movie night @ ours... Clothing is optional.
Kai: Movie & food at ours... Bring food... You better be wearing clothes dammit! ;)
Smiling at my crazy friends, I put on my slippers, grab a hoody, and shuffle down the hall to the guys’ dorm. All the wards over eighteen live on this floor, a bunch of motherless kids with powers
. We have become our own family, the four of us. I’m so grateful for them. I don’t know how I would have survived the last year without them.
I stand in front of the guys’ door, trying to calm my breathing; Silas is inside. I hear them laughing. I take a deep breath and open the door. Kai and Ianna are snuggled up on his bed. Silas pats the bed in front of him. I freak out a little inside.
“Uh, I forgot some snacks. Be right back,” I say as I turn and leave, trying to calm my heartbeat.
“I'll help you,” Silas offers, jumping up to following me. He takes my hand in his, kissing it with a sweet smile, and we walk toward the common room which is stocked full of snacks. I am rummaging in the fridge for some soda when I feel his hands on my hips. Startled, I jerk up, hitting my head on the door. Cringing, I slowly turn to face him. He wastes no time pulling me into him and hoisting me up onto the countertop. He smiles his bright, sweet smile and brushes my hair behind my ears.
“Hi,” he whispers, his lips brush mine so softly. Exhaling, I relax into him, resting my forehead against his chest. He kisses the top of my head, his hands running from my hip to my knees and back again, and leaving sparks in their wake.
Suddenly feeling brave, I reach up and brush his ever-messy hair out of his eyes; I've always wanted to do that. I place my hands on his cheeks, starring into his eyes. I pull him down to kiss me, letting my tongue run over his bottom lip, begging for access. He groans and lets me in. This is not a drunken kiss or a heat of the moment kiss. This is a conversation—a push and pull of desire and feeling built up over a year. Our lips pull apart and I sigh contently.
“I love you, Silas.”
His body freezes and I wince immediately. Did I just say that out loud? Crap, crap, crap. Why do I keep telling him I love him? I need to learn to shut the hell up.
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